Anyone from the UK?

[Alwaysthesun]

What?! The egg said that?

lol, sunny side hit the floor, messy boy

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Sure there's a joke about wielding big tools somewhere in that

It's more a joke about putting a fifteen Kilogramm tool into the trousers of your forty and a little something Kilogramm colleague and laughing your arse off while she nearly topples over.
I know it was a mistake to glue his work boots to the ground.

 

[jonnoback]

The biggest I ever used is size 105. I've problems lifting it. One of my "terribly funny" colleagues put a size 90 one in the side pockets of my dungarees.

Oooh! I'd have laughed... and then rescued you before you took it out and threw it!

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Oooh! I'd have laughed... and then rescued you before you took it out and threw it!

I would never throw a tool.
A size 90 nut on the other hand....

Not, of course not. That would be very dangerous. These things are very heavy.
Speaking of: guess who got his bag filled with size 41 nuts. Never leave your private bag unattended in front of your locker. You think that a locker in the men's locker room saves you from the righteous and justified wrath of your nice, beautiful and gentle female colleague? Think again.
He complained that he strained his shoulder when he tried lifting it.
Pussy.
And he welded my locker shut.
Too bad or CEO put his foot down after that. I already had a nice plan involving the straps of his dungarees and an overhead crane.
...
Ok, maybe it wasn't a bad thing.

 

[MaudeBlack]

Is that where they make you wield big spanners? I've always wanted a big spanner.

Whenever I see an engineer on the train tracks with the big spanner, I can't help but find it hilarious.

But yes, I would also like to have a go with the big spanner.

Xx

 

[StrentWriter]

Whenever I see an engineer on the train tracks with the big spanner, I can't help but find it hilarious.

But yes, I would also like to have a go with the big spanner.

Xx

Genuinely, I know a guy who’d let you have a go.

That sounds worse than it is.

 

[Fufumberuk]

Hi everyone. I'm back from holiday. How is everyone? Anyone still snowed in?

 

[NudieUser]

Good morning everyone! Still missing England but I now have a slice of it in my new home courtesy of a man (Ray Winston style ). I miss London though!

 

[MerryeMikee]

Happy Saturday

 

[Ironfan]

Morning all. Just about to put the coffee on

 

[MaudeBlack]

Morning All,
It's the weekend - yay!
I'm on my second big tea of the day and will hopefully get some writing done

Xx

 

[KentBloke63]

Morning all. Coffee and a Danish. Don’t know her name though. Might ask later

 

[angelofthenorth]

A Good albeit soggy Morning Play Mates.. Just got home from my walk, muddy up to the ankles. But feeling good

 

[MaudeBlack]

A Good albeit soggy Morning Play Mates.. Just got home from my walk, muddy up to the ankles. But feeling good

You put me to shame

I'm still in my dressing gown and staring at a pile of dirty washing, hoping somehow they will find their own way into the machine.

Xx

 

[angelofthenorth]

I'm on my second big tea of the day and will hopefully get some writing done

Xx

I think I'm gonna wait a bit before Iget tanked up, gotta go into town. Then back home, bath, pajamas ( some nice ones) then bucket-o-tea and letter writing

 

[StrentWriter]

Hangover. No sympathy, please. Going back to bed.

 

[jonnoback]

Morning All,
It's the weekend - yay!
I'm on my second big tea of the day and will hopefully get some writing done

Xx

That was an early start! Good luck with the writing.

 

[jonnoback]

Morning all. Back after a long evening driving. Ugh.

Out in town tonight though

 

[Hmm72]

You put me to shame

I'm still in my dressing gown and staring at a pile of dirty washing, hoping somehow they will find their own way into the machine.

Xx

Ohh the washing can wait come back to bed

 

[spawnofdavey]

The youngest has a couple of football matches this morning, then we're off to Yorkshire to visit the oldest and his gf.

 

[MerryeMikee]

Ohh the washing can wait come back to bed

... and make more washing??

 

[angelofthenorth]

The youngest has a couple of football matches this morning, then we're off to Yorkshire to visit the oldest and his gf.

It's piddling it down here in Gods Own, bring yer wellies

 

[spawnofdavey]

It's piddling it down here in Gods Own, bring yer wellies

It's raining here too. Just let one of the cats in after his early morning business and he's soaked.

 

[WriterLust94]

Morning all, coughing into life

 

[hugh_jarce69]

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of
coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?"
... he asks solemnly. The wife is touched, thinking her
husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside
him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a
shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my
daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years. "
"I remember that too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"