ARCHIVAL DISCUSSION to 11-14-08

[A7inchPhildo]

I think I get how it is functioning Pure.

However, I very rarely like to add time, and effort to a posted story. The likelyhood the person will ever edit the story once posted is very small.

This is why I more or less stopped visiting the Feedback forum. (I like to send feedback directly to the author if I feel it will enhance future stories.)
The common reply is, "I know about the mistakes, but I was too much in a hurry to post the story. And to edit it now is too much work, besides it seems to be doing fine."

Still I will go along with the three Amigos.

I do have a story I would like workshopped, it has been bouncing around since October. It has been basically a completed story since December.

I want to be home when it is posted, so I can reply consistantly to the thread. [scratching my head] I am leaving May the 7th and not back to the 18th. So I think I will need to wait until after the 18th by the current time frame you have going for postings. It aint going to make that much difference to me to wait, I have read the story.


Might I make a few suggestions?

One; use a Message icon to display what stories are in the group.

Two; Make an obvious note wether or not imput will be intended for Authors future writings, or current work to be altered as She/He feels fit.

Three; The author should be notified, and place a response under the thread starter post to let people know. The author is aware and ready for replies.

Four; I would post more than one story a week. Talk about loosing interest fast. I only need to visit once a week. Then twiddle my thumbs for six days?

If you run out of stories so be it. But right now I think most members can handle two a week. I have seen 4 or more posted at once.


Just some Phildo thoughts.
BTW I have already viewed BT story. So I guess I will check back next monday? Just kidding I will view some of the others if I feel the author, are not already long gone as far as responses go.

 

[Guest]

Just confirming my existence

Heya...

I just wanted to establish that the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated and I would still like to be entered in whatever discussions are available.

My story, however is a serial story with a new entry every week and a half or so. If this is a problem, I can easily just submit a request every time I write a new one and wait my turn in line, as seems fair.

Anyhoo, this is Wyld and I'm taking this time to draw attention to my "Heralds of the Dying Age" story and request it's admission in the pantheon of stories that you're reviewing and discussing.

Get back at me playa

- Wyld -

 

[Pure]

Planned order

To all,
As of now, the planned order is Rumple (this Sun night May 2), Wyldcard?, Sexm?, 7 in, on following Sundays; 7 in had priority but is out of town in part of May.

I'd point out to Wyld and Sexm that this is a 'swap' arrangement. I haven't checked extensively, but I don't see any comments from either of you on anyone else's story, most recently Black Tulip.

The guidline is two comment pieces are understood to be the 'swap' for one session being commented on.

J.

 

[Sunnie]

Uh, Pure?

Last week you said I was next... ??

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Uh, Pure?

Last week you said I was next... ??

Sunnie,

Until Pure shows up to give you a correct answer, here's one that's probably somenear in that vicinity.

You are next--for the thread reserved for stories that have been posted.

I believe Pure's "To all" list was for a new thread (re-inventing an old one) for stories that haven't been posted. I'm not sure what the situation is with Wyldkarde or Sexm but I know that's the case with both Phildo and me.

Anyway, I think that's more or less right.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Pure]

Hi Sunnie,

You're correct, of course, and I've started a thread for your story.
Rumple's work in progress can, in think, be discussed in parallel.

Best,
J.

 

[Sunnie]

Hi Sunnie,

You're correct, of course, and I've started a thread for your story.
Rumple's work in progress can, in think, be discussed in parallel.

Best,
J.

Thanks Pure. I was confused for a minute.

 

[drlust]

Submitted for review

Hi:

As a new participant in the SDC (I recently replied to Sunnie's and Black Tulip's) I'd like to submit one of my own for review. This story is one I particularly liked and, interestingly, generated a lot of email and has had the single largest number of hits of any of my stories. Yet it is stuck at a 4.43 rating...just below that "hot" number. I would really appreciate feedback from any and all on this story.

I can provide more background or context on the story if anyone likes. Just let me know.

The story is On the Table .

My other stories

 

[Pure]

Planned Order

Planned order: any thing I've forgotton? any objections:

wyldkard, (sexmaster?), 7 in, dr lust.

(one new thread for each to be set up each Sun night.)

Wyld, I'll require to hear from you and hear that you'll be giving some feedback-- I don't see you around Black or Rumple's thread.

Sexmaster, you participation hasn't occurred yet. While your theoretical position is after Wyld, in terms of your putting forward your name, I'm inclined to postpone your thread for a couple weeks at least. Can you tell my why we should not postpone till you're more in the swim?

That would yield
wyl, dr. lust, 7 in.

7 in is actually first in claim, but is out of town.

dr. lust, glad to see you're jumping in.

Any reminders or objectors should contact me asap, here or PM,


J.

 

[MLyons]

I'm a new participant on the SDC (I've replied to both Rumple and Sunnie's threads, and when I get a chance will reply to WyldKarde's as well), and I'm a relatively new author on Lit. I'd like to respectfully (and trepidatiously) submit my story:

Cindy: The Professor's Bane Ch. 02

to be added to the queue for discussion.

Although the first two chapters of the series are already posted, I'm open to do some editing on them, and have already done a little editing on chapter one in order for it to better mesh with the overall story as it will unfold, but I haven't submitted the edits yet. In any case, after having read some of the stories that fit my tastes by Dr. M. and Green_Gem I'm completely humbled and blown away by their exquisite talent, and the quality of discussion here on the SDC has really been excellent. I'd love to hear the Circle's opinions on Cindy and what I might do to improve my story-telling and writing skills for future chapters.

Thanks for your kind consideration.

 

[Sunnie]

In any case, after having read some of the stories that fit my tastes by Dr. M. and Green_Gem I'm completely humbled and blown away by their exquisite talent,

Amen to that.

Welcome aboard, Lyons.

 

[TechnoSlut]

So is this how this works... I'd love feedback on my story From Whence The Lily Blooms

and in the meantime, off I go to read some stories from the rest of ya perverts!

 

[Pure]

Welcome techno, from TO! Tell us what you write.

J.


---
MLyons, welcome. Care to dilate a bit?

J.

 

[TechnoSlut]

I write everything except poetry. I write stories play scripts and screenplays. This is my first real genre erotica, but all of my writing is heavily sexual.

What else do you want to know?

 

[MLyons]

Dilation...

MLyons, welcome. Care to dilate a bit?

J.

Dilate, in terms of any specific questions I might want answered? Well... you asked for it!

I guess the first thing is that I read a recent thread on the forum (that's still active) about how some people dislike multi-part stories. As a reader I can certainly relate to this by and large because often I'm simply not motivated enough to read from the beginning of a large series to get to a specific chapter that might interest me. That said, though, if the chapter I click on interests me enough to where I think the whole series might really work for me, I'll definitely go back. If it's 300 chapters though, it better be one hell of a good story...

Anyway, I simply couldn't write "Cindy" in one chapter. My tendency is to enjoy the sex in my stories, and elongate time to a great degree, while still trying to advance the action and not leave the reader bored. And Cindy was too interesting a character to me to leave it to one chapter. So I'm curious as to whether you all think I've successfully negotiated the balancing act required to give 'em the good stuff, while holding back enough to keep them coming back for more. There's a definite flow of events in "Cindy", and there will definitely be an ending, probably within another two or three chapters, so I don't plan on going on indefinitely. I just wonder if what I'm writing NOW gives people that sense to "hang in there, cuz this is building to go somewhere...", or if I'm totally screwing that up.

Related to that, what do you think of the ending of Ch. 02? Is it a suitable "cliffhanger" as it were, or should I have finished out the thought and let the professor have an orgasm for a sense of completion?

Other questions I have are what do you think of the balance between sexual action and characterization / plot development. I always worry a bit when my exposition and indulgent plot development seems to drag on to me, and I try to tuck and trim as much as possible without losing the story I'm trying to tell, but I don't know if I do that well enough, or maybe cutting too much?

Obviously there's a certain level of... unbelievability here. Does this bother you? Is there enough consistency within the rules that I've created for the scenario to at least be plausible?

I'm a believer in using strong, visceral, and specific language to describe sex. A lot of people on the Lit forum seem put off by certain words and phrases. Does my use of language, or modifiers bother you within the context of the story? Why or why not?

Truly though, I'm interested in any an all constructive feedback. The stories turn me on, of that I have no doubts, but do they work for others?

Is that what you meant, Pure?

 

[Pure]

Proposed order:

previously, I said,
wyldkard, (sexmaster?), 7 in, dr lust.

given that 7-in is not back yet, i'm postponing him a week. he has top priority; is just out of town. That gives this order:

dr lust (later tonight 5-16), 7 in, mlyons, and technoslut.

IF THERE IS SOME ERROR IN THIS (REQUIRING IMMEDIATE ATTENTION), PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN THE NEXT FEW HOURS

I will set up one each sunday on its own thread.

sexmaster I've deferred for a few weeks, since I've seen no signs of any participation. it appears he's simply desirous of feedback, and there's a forum for that, with 'no strings'.

welcome to all new folks and keep in mind this is a 'swap' situation.

the proposed order is based on a good faith assumption about your participation (giving comments to those before and/or after you). to my mind, the expectation of 50-100 words (a couple times) is hardly onerous, nor out of proportion to what you receive.

best

J.

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Dearest Pure,

I am ready for the 'swap!' situation thingy! Whenever, whatever, let me know!

Yeah I am ready to post that story as well. Shall I PM it on over to you, or how do you want to do it? I can just paste it to a post as well, Let me know? I check my PMs daily.

The swap thingy still sounds better than the story thingy.

 

[Pure]

7 in's story will be up around Sun night 5-23. He's next.

then mlyons, then techoslut on following sundays. sexmaster is postponed till his presence becomes noticeable.

 

[Black Tulip]

I won't be joining in the discussion of A7inchPhildo since I already gave my opinion on this story.

 

[Pure]

M Lyons is up tonite May 30. Techno, next Sun.

J.

 

[Pure]

SOME SUGGESTIONS REGARDING FEEDBACK/CRITICISM

I've been asked to make suggestions, and here are a few off the top of my head. (Part of what follows was posted in the MLyons thread, in slightly different words.) Consult also the suggestions of moderator Killer Muffin, in the first posting of the thread.

Writers do love details, where helpful. At the same time, the other point of postings is that they may be read and readable by others.

Your feedback can be relatively brief, 500-1000 words.

Tell the writer some things he or she is doing right, besides all the things done wrong. This isn't a call for saccharinity, but balance. It never hurts to say, "In my opinion, xxx." Instead of 'this stinks', try 'this doesn't do it for me'; i.e., make the statement about your reaction, not Truth.

Keep in mind the experience of the writer; be generous with early efforts.

For lists of small errors, try saying "PM/email me for a list of small errors."

It's always possible to say: "Many errors of xxx type." without a list.

Try to stay within an area of real knowledge; do rush into arcane areas without saying, "My guess is that..." :

If you are not a true blue punctuation freak with genuine and correct obsessions with semicolons and commas, leave that topic aside, or say, "This looks like it needs to be fixed."

There are on the internet, several guides for 'feedback.' All of these may be consulted, but I find some overly stress avoidance of negative criticism.

Negative criticism should be polite and not demeaning. Especiallly avoid directing it at the person. You may say, "The story has no merit, because..." but please don't say, "You can't write for shit" or "You are totally insensitive." Be sure to state your reasons and/or give examples regarding what has put you off.

Keep in mind what the author is attempting. If it's porn, there's no point in saying, "There's no romance, and the woman is not lovingly appreciated in the fullness of her spirit." If it's a romance, expect it may be lighter on sex; i.e., that wouldn't necessarily be a fault. Keep in mind the handy phrase, "This is not my cuppa tea" and that your disgust or upset may not be worth publicizing or posting.

Areas for possible comment:

Mechanics, punctuation, style, diction -- is it well constructed on a mechanical--correct English--level. Is the writing filled with cliches, or fresh?

Plot: is it an old standard, such that every event is predictable? is there any creative variation of the old standby plots? implausible or too many coincidences?

Character: is it cardboard and shallow, as in most porn; each person's only characteristic, besides physical perfection, is his/her great avidity for sex, anywhere, anytime, with mom, dad, or sister betty.

Setting: is a time and place characterized? how well is the 'feel' of the time or place conveyed?

Sensory impact: did it feed your senses and sensory imagination

Emotional impact: did it move you? how, why?

{If it appears to be intended as porn/erotica}
Sexual arousal impact, if any. did it get you hot/stiff/wet, dangerous to medium-sized farm animals?

---Imagination in sexual scenes

---Kink in sexual scenes.
------

This list may be added to. Others' suggestions are welcome.

J.

 

[Pure]

Folks,

Any volunteers for discussion next SUN, 6-13? And following.?

Technoslut, are you there and ready for tomorrow. 6-06?

 

[Pure]

techno is up!

we need volunteers/masochists for the next few sessions.

post your name here.

 

[Black Tulip]

Not sure I want to

volunteer for another round of humiliation and battering.

But if nobody else comes forward, I have a story that needs some advice before posting.

Let me know.

 

[Pure]

Hi Black T.,
Sorry about the delay. Yes, would like to have you.

To All.

Why don't we let techno run another week, and have one of Black T's offerings on the 20 of June?

OK.?? I shall assume yes, unless I hear lots of protest.

Black T, will you confirm this is OK by you?

J.