Are we just cursed?

[Cheshire_cat71]

Hi Curvy,

I can relate. Been married for nearly 20 years and my wife and I make a good parenting team (I mean, as good as flawed human beings can be), we manage life and its upheavals well, and we've been to hell and back on more than one occasion. What I'm getting at is, we make great business partners and are fairly well aligned on most topics, but there is no connection. She's into art, I'm into music. She's into hiking, my back says hell no. Etc.

She doesn't know me, the real me, and as we've aged, I've found we don't have some of the basic values that we started out from. I tried for so long to get to know her inner self, but that's been a more shifting target than a wave upon the sea.

Now, there's a mortgage, and kids, and aging parents, and on and on. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't given up. But I have. I trudge on in my own cell of purgatory until death do we part. She hasn't admitted to it, but I have; knowing what I know now - which includes knowing myself, I wouldn't marry her again.

We don't have a spark, never have. And I only know that because I briefly encountered a spark shortly before I knew her and I acted the fool and lost that opportunity. Then, only a few years ago, I found the soul-binding connection with a most unlikely candidate. But it was there, and it was real, and it was what I'd hoped for - but it couldn't be.

I sound like quite the complainer, don't I? But I feel cursed, I really do. Damned if I do. Damned if I don't.

Hopefully, my diatribe was a meaningful contribution.

I could Have written this same thing, only I am The wife

 

[Boredwithtnt]

I am an off again on again recipient of being stuck in a relstionship where I love my wife, But sexually she has just zero drive and has been for some time. Its compounded by my work schedule shift to nights as a welder. Its quiet, all male, and very little chance for me to interact with women at all to get my flirty, romatic, or especially intimate connections. I am not going to leave my wife, but the situation is unstable...and I know it. Lit has been a refuge sometimes, but being a male just sucks sometimes on the internet lol.

 

[Yourdesire6996]

I am an off again on again recipient of being stuck in a relstionship where I love my wife, But sexually she has just zero drive and has been for some time. Its compounded by my work schedule shift to nights as a welder. Its quiet, all male, and very little chance for me to interact with women at all to get my flirty, romatic, or especially intimate connections. I am not going to leave my wife, but the situation is unstable...and I know it. Lit has been a refuge sometimes, but being a male just sucks sometimes on the internet lol.

I'm not far from you. In my 20s. Same situation.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I could Have written this same thing, only I am The wife

I am incredibly sorry to hear that. If I may ask, since you have grown kids, why do you stay?

 

[Vinylguy]

I’m in a relationship… have been for a while now and I am a good girl by not talking to anyone in any way other than platonically staying in touch with a few people from here. Which is a change from relationships in the past, and I don’t really desire sexual talk with others but damn do I miss deeper connections. My partner and I have a good connection to a point but there’s some things lacking that leave me missing connections where I feel valued and pretty.

Anyone in a committed relationship and have similar issues of wanting to be faithful to your relationship but missing connections with like minded people??

Absolutely, the struggle is real

 

[Cheshire_cat71]

I am incredibly sorry to hear that. If I may ask, since you have grown kids, why do you stay?

Long story, but finances is partially to blame. I am An open book if you want to know more, but not in a thread

 

[Friedfred]

I feel the same way. We connect but we don’t CONNECT. If this makes sense?

Long story, but finances is partially to blame. I am An open book if you want to know more, but not in a thread

I am in the same situation only its been 48 years and over 20 years with no intimacy. I would love to chat with you.

 

[Cheshire_cat71]

I am in the same situation only its been 48 years and over 20 years with no intimacy. I would love to chat with you.

Absolutely

 

[Boredwithtnt]

Honestly with the ratio of men to women, i feel that any woman on here who has trouble with their guy just has to drop the proverbial "bait" in the water and there are gonna be tons of bites.

 

[Friedfred]

Absolutely

Would you prefer email or text

 

[Friedfred]

Here is ok also

 

[Cheshire_cat71]

Honestly with the ratio of men to women, i feel that any woman on here who has trouble with their guy just has to drop the proverbial "bait" in the water and there are gonna be tons of bites.

If that is what you believe about that is on you. You can read my profile and make your own decision. I am Not here to chase anyone

 

[Cheshire_cat71]

Would you prefer email or text

I would Prefer on here for a bit first before I hand Out my email and/or phone number

 

[Friedfred]

Ok but I would be giving you mine. Not you giving yours

 

[Friedfred]

We can talk about anything you want. Ask anything you want

 

[Boredwithtnt]

If that is what you believe about that is on you. You can read my profile and make your own decision. I am Not here to chase anyone

This was not meant to be a dig nor comment on you, apologies if I came across that way. More as a general observation with the internet in general. I have found it is hard being a man seeking companionship. Im not seeking a quick hookup or anything like that but a long term pen pal, and...its difficult to find due to the the skewed ratio of men to women. This is an undeniable fact, and just something I have come to accept in my life.

 

[Cheshire_cat71]

This was not meant to be a dig nor comment on you, apologies if I came across that way. More as a general observation with the internet in general. I have found it is hard being a man seeking companionship. Im not seeking a quick hookup or anything like that but a long term pen pal, and...its difficult to find due to the the skewed ratio of men to women. This is an undeniable fact, and just something I have come to accept in my life.

I appreciate The apology. I am Just not one to mince words and play games. I am Not looking for a one time hook up either. It is very difficult to find intelligent men who do not believe they are superior to a woman.

 

[Boredwithtnt]

I just try to be nice, meet people, get to know them, and see if we click. All peoples, all walks of life, all levels of intelligence. Im smarter than some, dumber than many lol! I mostly try just be an open and adventurous person!

 

[penshockey1983]

I’m in a relationship… have been for a while now and I am a good girl by not talking to anyone in any way other than platonically staying in touch with a few people from here. Which is a change from relationships in the past, and I don’t really desire sexual talk with others but damn do I miss deeper connections. My partner and I have a good connection to a point but there’s some things lacking that leave me missing connections where I feel valued and pretty.

Anyone in a committed relationship and have similar issues of wanting to be faithful to your relationship but missing connections with like minded people??

100%. Sense of humor especially

 

[ZOEOHZOE]

sort of in the same fix lol my bf is deployed going on almost 8 mo now. So fucking around on here is not going to help when he comes home

 

[NSFW_69]

I’m in a relationship… have been for a while now and I am a good girl by not talking to anyone in any way other than platonically staying in touch with a few people from here. Which is a change from relationships in the past, and I don’t really desire sexual talk with others but damn do I miss deeper connections. My partner and I have a good connection to a point but there’s some things lacking that leave me missing connections where I feel valued and pretty.

Anyone in a committed relationship and have similar issues of wanting to be faithful to your relationship but missing connections with like minded people??

Totally get this, when I was younger I had deep connections with females, not necessarily girlfriends and not having to be sexual, but since marriage that went and I do miss it.

 

[Guillermo54]

I’m in a relationship… have been for a while now and I am a good girl by not talking to anyone in any way other than platonically staying in touch with a few people from here. Which is a change from relationships in the past, and I don’t really desire sexual talk with others but damn do I miss deeper connections. My partner and I have a good connection to a point but there’s some things lacking that leave me missing connections where I feel valued and pretty.

Anyone in a committed relationship and have similar issues of wanting to be faithful to your relationship but missing connections with like minded people??

Same here. I am okay with my current situation but we are missing some deep intimacy that I have found with others online. I am wondering if I make the jump into "affair land".

 

[curvyjae]

Nice to know I am not the only one with things lacking. It is a struggle for me to accept because I am the "happily ever after, be one with one person the rest of your life" kind of girl, but so far, I have not found that. Every relationship I have ever been in, I end up feeling alone and like I am too hard to please emotionally. Such is life, right?

 

[Friedfred]

Doesn't have to be like that

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

Nice to know I am not the only one with things lacking. It is a struggle for me to accept because I am the "happily ever after, be one with one person the rest of your life" kind of girl, but so far, I have not found that. Every relationship I have ever been in, I end up feeling alone and like I am too hard to please emotionally. Such is life, right?

I can totally relate from a male perspective. I wonder what I’m doing wrong but sometimes I wonder if I’m the not actually the problem…