Arousal/Excitement vs. Erection-A Hypothesis Explored

[RedheadedHaze]

(If this appears in the wrong forum, mods please feel free to redirect to a more appropriate place...)

So today, I was having a passing discussion with a gentleman that shall remain nameless. In that convo, we were discussing the merits of strip clubs and whether or not he was turned on by the women in said establishments. (For the record, I've been to plenty and enjoy the sights as much as the next guy and have had probably just as many lapdances.)

Upon pursuing this line of diatribe, he explained that while the view is nice, they do nothing for him. When asked why, he stated that for one, he knows it's just a job to them, so it's not a particularly intimate experience. It's just some girl wiggling her bits for a buck, no matter how pretty the bits might be. For another, he knows he's not going home with her, so there's zero connection. Ok, so to summarize, from his perspective, naked chicks dancing on the bar = not particularly arousing.

Fair enough, I can work with that.

Moving along through the conversation, we ultimately ended up at the point of this post. He explained that while some things were stimulating, they didn't always result in an erection. So, he could be engaged in the personal pursuit of sex w/ a woman and while he's incredibly turned on, he's not necessarily hard as a rock.

This kinda' blew my mind a bit. For some odd years, I've always just assumed (and perhaps mistakenly so) that if a guy is into whatever you're doing sexually or is aroused/stimulated/turned on by the actions or the view, etc., that results in an obvious show of approval. I figured it was just basic science. Hot naked woman = diverted blood flow= erection.

Apparently, for him, that's not necessarily true. And just b/c he's not sporting wood doesn't necessarily mean he's not turned on, either.

SO.

With that being said, I wanna know:

Gentleman, do you agree or disagree with this sentiment? What is your personal experience?

When you're turned on, do you always have an erection?

Discuss.


~Red

 

[RedheadedHaze]

Ok, surely -someone- has something of significance to add?

*pokes all the men in the Playground*

Don't make me offer sexual favors to the first one to reply.

*eyebrow*

 

[AnonymousRendezvous]

I can see where he's coming from when it comes to the strip clubs, but I can honestly say I've never been sexually aroused without an erection. Mentally or emotionally stimulated without an erection? Certainly. But in my experience, sexual arousal for males and erections go hand in hand.

Maybe every man is different, but I've found it to be my experience that erections come from the smallest provocation, even more so when emotional attachment is involved. I've gotten short erections just chatting with a beautiful woman in a public place. It's just natural.

Now, I don't think I would get an erection at a strip club simply because that powerful sexual attachment doesn't exist there. But that is probably because it isn't sexually stimulating to begin with. If the smallest bit of sexual drive kicks in, however, watch out because I'll be standing at attention.

Don't know if that is the answer you're looking for.

 

[MrRoboto1986]

This probably differs from guy to guy, but I get where he is coming from. During a long session of stroking it say to a story here on Lit or having sex with a woman I can go from rock hard to soft to hard again several times. (eg. pulling out to go down on her etc.) That doesnt mean I'm no longer turned on when I let my erection subside though, after all being aroused is so much a mental thing aswell as a pshyical thing. A hard cock is just like a symptom of that it may come and go but the underlying arousal stays present.

I hope that makes sense to you! And now about those sexual favours....

 

[rdtr]

I was actually thinking about this the other day, and think there is something to it. There are definitely times when there is an attraction, but no physical response. Conversely, there are times when there is a physical response but not necessarily any strong attraction.

There are plenty of times when I see someone and think wow, that person is really attractive, but I'm not really popping wood every time an attractive lady walks by. That was probably the case when I was younger (e.g. 14 or so), but hasn't been the case for some time. Hopefully that makes sense!

 

[border_humper]

I think the answer some guys might give is It's complicated. There's being turned on, and then there's being turned on. Some sources of excitement are much more intellectual or emotional than physical. Physical excitement can occur without the intellectual or emotional kind, and vice versa. And of course, the best kind is where both types are combined.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[AnonymousRendezvous]

That was probably the case when I was younger (e.g. 14 or so), but hasn't been the case for some time. Hopefully that makes sense!

True. I'm pretty sure that erections and high levels of testosterone go together. And adolescent boys are juicing on the stuff. I suppose men with higher testosterone levels will probably have more erections as well. Just chemistry is all.

 

[No_Socks_In_Bed]

(If this appears in the wrong forum, mods please feel free to redirect to a more appropriate place...)

So today, I was having a passing discussion with a gentleman that shall remain nameless. In that convo, we were discussing the merits of strip clubs and whether or not he was turned on by the women in said establishments. (For the record, I've been to plenty and enjoy the sights as much as the next guy and have had probably just as many lapdances.)

Upon pursuing this line of diatribe, he explained that while the view is nice, they do nothing for him. When asked why, he stated that for one, he knows it's just a job to them, so it's not a particularly intimate experience. It's just some girl wiggling her bits for a buck, no matter how pretty the bits might be. For another, he knows he's not going home with her, so there's zero connection. Ok, so to summarize, from his perspective, naked chicks dancing on the bar = not particularly arousing.

Fair enough, I can work with that.

Moving along through the conversation, we ultimately ended up at the point of this post. He explained that while some things were stimulating, they didn't always result in an erection. So, he could be engaged in the personal pursuit of sex w/ a woman and while he's incredibly turned on, he's not necessarily hard as a rock.

This kinda' blew my mind a bit. For some odd years, I've always just assumed (and perhaps mistakenly so) that if a guy is into whatever you're doing sexually or is aroused/stimulated/turned on by the actions or the view, etc., that results in an obvious show of approval. I figured it was just basic science. Hot naked woman = diverted blood flow= erection.

Apparently, for him, that's not necessarily true. And just b/c he's not sporting wood doesn't necessarily mean he's not turned on, either.

SO.

With that being said, I wanna know:

Gentleman, do you agree or disagree with this sentiment? What is your personal experience?

When you're turned on, do you always have an erection?

Discuss.


~Red

Ok...first for the record, I'm with your gentleman friend in that stripclubs as a whole don't do anything for me. Its all pretty much a big show and no pay off at the end (not to mention having my wallet cleaned out and nothing to show for it), so I tend not to get too physically worked up while watching girls dance in front of me. Lap dances? Sure, there might be some form of noticeable arousal, but again, it won't stay that way for long once the song ends. Not unless a phone number is passed along to me.

As for your question, I think if a guy is truly emotionally invested in pursuing a woman, whether he's on a first date or has been with her for x number of years in long term relationships or marraige, then yes, seeing the woman in all her naked glory or dressed up in slinky lingerie produces the desired physical response 99% of the time. Likewise, if I see a girl from across the room who looks spectacular or is dropping subtle hints for conversation, that too might produce a little response down below. It might not a full on erection, but there's definitely noticeable arousal. Maybe its because she's more attainable or approachable unlike the whole stripper scenario, but if I feel I can go up and find out more about her and get to know her, it adds to the excitement.

Along with that, I've been in relationships where the emotional investment just isnt there anymore and if I saw this woman naked in front of me, it didnt do ANYTHING for me physically. Granted at one point in the beginning of the relationship, it didnt take anything to get me rock hard b/c i WANTED to be with her. But at the end, even during some acts of prolonged foreplay....nada, zip. I just wasn't into it.

Now, where it gets tricky (and more to answering the question), I have been completely and utterly turned on by a woman and not have it produce an erection. If I'm completely into someone I'm in a relationship with, I love to find out and experience everything she has to offer. I've found myself in several hour-long discussions with women, discovering how their minds work and what their philosophical positions and opinions are on a range of different topics. I may not have been sitting there with full on wood, but that doesn't mean that I wasnt turned on by watching how they thought or reacted to certain questions. Additionally, I find that if a woman has a distinct passion for her craft or her job, I'm fascinated to watch her do her thing and demonstrate how she manages her profession. I've been fortunate enough to watch some of the women I've dated show off their intellect and their skill at their day to day life and it just drew me to them THAT much more. And it wasn't sexual in the least, but more along the lines of understanding them more and, I suppose, just being so impressed with how they came across in their line of work. And all without producing an erection.

Hope I answered your question in some roundabout form, Red! Guess I'll have to wait until the next hypothetical question to get those favors. ;-)

 

[Hanon435]

i saw arousal *vs* erection and laughed. more like arousal = erection.

i guess it's possible. depends on the guy. anything's possible.

it is true that a stripper would just be getting paid. and i wouldn't like that she was just doing things just cause she's getting paid. that's not a turn on at all.

 

[janeyl]

Great thread RedheadedHaze

I'm really enjoying the conversation in here. it just reinforces some of the reasons I was drawn to Lit in the first place

 

[ncm50]

i would think that whether or not she is getting paid to me is a non-issue. If she is good at her job, I am sure I would be aroused. I can see a sexy woman, dressed sexy, such as hard nipples through a shirt or sweater, short skirt with nice tanned sexy legs legs and be very interested, stimulated and maybe feel something below without getting hard. Now if I get more involved, hard would definitely happen.

 

[prometheus829]

To me, there's a distinction between the physical and emotional attraction. When I get emotionally 'turned on,' my mind kind of blanks and I just think "you are awsome." And it's usually the little things that cause it too. A girl starts singing harmony to some random tune on the radio. She picks up your pencil and fills in your crossword. Makes a function joke. Writes a paper for technical writing on dildos. Makes you cookies.

Those kinds of things don't give me an erection, but they might make me do something stupid to try and impress her. All the symptomes of diverted blood flow, but it stays above my shoulders.

 

[RedheadedHaze]

I find all of this very enlightening.

It appears, as a generalization, that there's varying levels of arousal and not all produce an erection.

Makes perfect sense.

At any rate, thank you to all the men who took the time to offer up their personal insights for my prying mind...I'm vastly appreciative...

If anyone else has anything more to add, please feel free.

Hopefully, this has helped some other women out there as well.

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

Now that I've turned 50, I no longer ponder the circumstances for which I got the erection, but merely thank God that I was still able to manage the achievement.

 

[kaycee217]

I concur with much of what has been said, but will also add that the context of where I'm aroused/excited can play a part as well.

If I'm with my partner or alone, being aroused/excited is more likely to result in an erection. However, if I'm in a place where such an erection would be embarrassing, inappropriate, or otherwise not result in an orgasm, then sometimes I don't get an erection or the one I get is not as hard as normal.

 

[DfrntLovin]

My two cents...

Another thing to consider.

Unsure about other men, but if I am truly focused and into what I'm doing with/to my partner, say licking and fingering and toying her till she screams bloody bliss, my erection might subside a bit as the brain and muscle coordination take a bit of blood flow from other areas.

I find all of this very enlightening.

It appears, as a generalization, that there's varying levels of arousal and not all produce an erection.

Makes perfect sense.

At any rate, thank you to all the men who took the time to offer up their personal insights for my prying mind...I'm vastly appreciative...

If anyone else has anything more to add, please feel free.

Hopefully, this has helped some other women out there as well.

 

[Tasty_GA_Honey]

This is a concept that I first had to wrap my head around when I was in a relationship with a man who was paralyzed from the waist down.

I could perform like a porn star, stimulating all of his senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch), and it would produce absolutely no visible physical reaction. He loved being on the receiving end of oral sex simply because he enjoyed the visual stimulation in place of the physical sensation. Ladies, ever poured your heart and soul into a blow job with a man who has NO physical reaction? It definitely takes lots of creativity AND patience.

Even more interestingly, he would sometimes have spontaneous erections but only after I left.

I have to honestly admit, it did play with my head a little bit.

Just my little cents.

(Eventually the relationship ended after two months...... he said I liked sex too much......)

This kinda' blew my mind a bit. For some odd years, I've always just assumed (and perhaps mistakenly so) that if a guy is into whatever you're doing sexually or is aroused/stimulated/turned on by the actions or the view, etc., that results in an obvious show of approval. I figured it was just basic science. Hot naked woman = diverted blood flow= erection.

Apparently, for him, that's not necessarily true. And just b/c he's not sporting wood doesn't necessarily mean he's not turned on, either.

SO.

With that being said, I wanna know:

Gentleman, do you agree or disagree with this sentiment? What is your personal experience?

When you're turned on, do you always have an erection?

Discuss.


~Red

 

[ReadyOne]

Age (testosterone level) is by far the most important factor here.

Aging men still have all the mental turn on workings going -- it's just the erection meter doesn't always track like it used too. ED drugs do wonders here.

Aged men eventually loose the "lust circuitry" and end up saying to themselves, "I know I should be turned on, but for some reason I'm not".

-------------

As for strip clubs, I'm with your conversationist. Just like some girls say, "why should I let myself get all hot and bothered when I'll just end up frustrated?"

 

[boutrosboutros]

If I'm turned on I always have an erection. It might not be as hard as can be 100% of the time I'm turned on, but there's always a noticeable swelling. (At what point does swelling become "an erection" anyway? Question for the philosophers.)

It does sometimes subside if I'm concentrating on giving, rather than recieving. I'll second that. To do with the blood flow.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

(If this appears in the wrong forum, mods please feel free to redirect to a more appropriate place...)

So today, I was having a passing discussion with a gentleman that shall remain nameless. In that convo, we were discussing the merits of strip clubs and whether or not he was turned on by the women in said establishments. (For the record, I've been to plenty and enjoy the sights as much as the next guy and have had probably just as many lapdances.)

Upon pursuing this line of diatribe, he explained that while the view is nice, they do nothing for him. When asked why, he stated that for one, he knows it's just a job to them, so it's not a particularly intimate experience. It's just some girl wiggling her bits for a buck, no matter how pretty the bits might be. For another, he knows he's not going home with her, so there's zero connection. Ok, so to summarize, from his perspective, naked chicks dancing on the bar = not particularly arousing.

Fair enough, I can work with that.

Moving along through the conversation, we ultimately ended up at the point of this post. He explained that while some things were stimulating, they didn't always result in an erection. So, he could be engaged in the personal pursuit of sex w/ a woman and while he's incredibly turned on, he's not necessarily hard as a rock.

This kinda' blew my mind a bit. For some odd years, I've always just assumed (and perhaps mistakenly so) that if a guy is into whatever you're doing sexually or is aroused/stimulated/turned on by the actions or the view, etc., that results in an obvious show of approval. I figured it was just basic science. Hot naked woman = diverted blood flow= erection.

Apparently, for him, that's not necessarily true. And just b/c he's not sporting wood doesn't necessarily mean he's not turned on, either.

SO.

With that being said, I wanna know:

Gentleman, do you agree or disagree with this sentiment? What is your personal experience?

When you're turned on, do you always have an erection?

Discuss.


~Red

Speaking for me personally, I always get an erection when I am sexually excited...always.

Now, I do NOT need to cum to be satisfied sexually though. I typically do cum, but if the woman has cum many times....and I do not cum...that isn't a big deal for me ever...but that's just me.

 

[RyanBlack]

Arousal is a state of internal biochemistry of which the physical manifestations include more than just an erection; flushing of the skin, increased heart rate, nipples and other factors.

Men are almost as different in what it is that arouses them as you can see in several threads here.

An erection (assuming no physical limitations) is one of several natural outcomes of beiung in a state of arousal. It is not the only response, though among most men and women I would assume it is the most important one beause it facilitates intercourse and the desired outcome of an ejaculation/orgasm.

The current proliferation of ED medications available today Levitra, Cialis, Viagra and their herbal counterparts seem to indicate that an erection is in danger of becoming extinct.

Physical factors which can impede erection include, smoking, stress, diabetes and high blood pressure and several other medications. There has even been a study done which finds that consuming grapefruit and grapefruit products impedes erectile responses.

All these things can hamper the blood flow to the tissues which swell during an erection, but have no impact whatsoever on a person being capable of being aroused.

I would posit that while medication can enhance erectile response attitude and communication with one's partner can also have a major role in the process.

Socially men are measured (tongue in cheek) by both the size of their penises and their ability to use that erection to satisfy a partner (or multiple partners or any variation thereof).

Therapeutically, in sexually dysfunctional couples therapy the source of erectile dysfunction has little or nothing to do with medical circumstances, rather it is the result of the relationship being in the state it is in. The man will seek out other sources of arousal for supporting his self esteem and often that takes the form of strip clubs, pornography etc.

This is not the sole postion of men either. Many women find themselves on longer becoming lubricated even though they are aroused and seek out sexual validation from other sources.

The answer is simply not all that simple--I wake up each morning with an erection, in 30 plus years the number of mornings when I have not experiences this level of tumesence have been few and far between and this is generally the result of the levels of hormones in the body.

There are also many occasions when I have not experienced an erection no matter how aroused I was--because the circumstances were inappropriate or I simply did not "feel like it" I was focused on other things outside my own satisfaction.

Young men often experience erections on the occasion of something so slight as a breeze or a stray thought--one needs only notice the number of middle school boys who find it necessary to walk with their books in front of them to observe this behavior.

Adults tend to gain more self control over erection and ejaculation even if they do so without conscious thought.

On a personal note, I find that I respond physically when I am writing erotic fiction even though the only source of the arousal is my own imagination--on these occasions I do not feel the need to solve the "problem" as it will go away shortly. I frequently engage in outrageous sexual word play that does not result in either arousal or erections.

Strippers are not arousing to me. Too many of them have broken or abused or damaged backgrounds and having encountered them in a professional setting it is simply not possible for me to alter that image.

Hope this wasnt too clinical for you--but it is my 25 cents worth.

 

[jeffy72]

I've only been to two strip clubs (in real life) and had an erection the whole time. The girls there that seemed to be having fun were the most arousing. Some of those girls were either very good actresses, or it was more than a job for them, nothing like the girl who did the monologue in the movie "Bite me," which was a horror movie that took place in a strip club (it was funny because of how bad it was).

Now, I often fail to get an erection when I'm aroused. It feels the same in my mind, the same "heeelllooo nurse" feeling, just no reaction in the pants. This has caused several arguments, as my wife has felt insulted. I doubt there a many things worse than being in the middle of intercourse, or even a blow job, and suddenly loose your erection. And the harshly spoken phrase, "You don't like me anymore?"

Being able to ejaculate without a full erection makes it worse. Being able to masturbate without being hard enough to have intercourse has also caused many harsh words.

If viagra were cheaper, I would be able to alleviate most of the stress that is probably causing me to need it.

 

[RyanBlack]

I've only been to two strip clubs (in real life) and had an erection the whole time. The girls there that seemed to be having fun were the most arousing. Some of those girls were either very good actresses, or it was more than a job for them, nothing like the girl who did the monologue in the movie "Bite me," which was a horror movie that took place in a strip club (it was funny because of how bad it was).

Now, I often fail to get an erection when I'm aroused. It feels the same in my mind, the same "heeelllooo nurse" feeling, just no reaction in the pants. This has caused several arguments, as my wife has felt insulted. I doubt there a many things worse than being in the middle of intercourse, or even a blow job, and suddenly loose your erection. And the harshly spoken phrase, "You don't like me anymore?"

Being able to ejaculate without a full erection makes it worse. Being able to masturbate without being hard enough to have intercourse has also caused many harsh words.

If viagra were cheaper, I would be able to alleviate most of the stress that is probably causing me to need it.

In most cases: If you alleviate the stress causing it then you wont need the viagra---

 

[billrichards41]

(If this appears in the wrong forum, mods please feel free to redirect to a more appropriate place...)

So today, I was having a passing discussion with a gentleman that shall remain nameless. In that convo, we were discussing the merits of strip clubs and whether or not he was turned on by the women in said establishments. (For the record, I've been to plenty and enjoy the sights as much as the next guy and have had probably just as many lapdances.)

Upon pursuing this line of diatribe, he explained that while the view is nice, they do nothing for him. When asked why, he stated that for one, he knows it's just a job to them, so it's not a particularly intimate experience. It's just some girl wiggling her bits for a buck, no matter how pretty the bits might be. For another, he knows he's not going home with her, so there's zero connection. Ok, so to summarize, from his perspective, naked chicks dancing on the bar = not particularly arousing.

Fair enough, I can work with that.

Moving along through the conversation, we ultimately ended up at the point of this post. He explained that while some things were stimulating, they didn't always result in an erection. So, he could be engaged in the personal pursuit of sex w/ a woman and while he's incredibly turned on, he's not necessarily hard as a rock.

This kinda' blew my mind a bit. For some odd years, I've always just assumed (and perhaps mistakenly so) that if a guy is into whatever you're doing sexually or is aroused/stimulated/turned on by the actions or the view, etc., that results in an obvious show of approval. I figured it was just basic science. Hot naked woman = diverted blood flow= erection.

Apparently, for him, that's not necessarily true. And just b/c he's not sporting wood doesn't necessarily mean he's not turned on, either.

SO.

With that being said, I wanna know:

Gentleman, do you agree or disagree with this sentiment? What is your personal experience?

When you're turned on, do you always have an erection?

Discuss.


~Red

I agree. It's pretty much my experience as well. If we are doing something other then direct contact, my erection my go down a little... it comes right back when I need it too, but sometimes I'm distracted and still aroused and excited.
Yes usually when I'm turned on I have an erection.

 

[MrWhisper]

Interesting question

A word about strip clubs : No matter how hot they are, they are in for the money. All the smiles, the looks, the moves, the sways are carefully used for marketing purposes. What turns me on is a woman trying to seduce me... because she wants to. But are men aroused by strippers fools? No. I'll get back to this.

Speaking of being turned on.

I think us, men, have been doomed from the start from having such an obvious sexual organ. And it seems now some women are fooled too?

It's all there, all yours to make hard and let it explode. Thats why (and this is a personal theory) that when we are inexperienced we tend to go 1...2..3.. cum when we want to please a woman : 1 (kiss) 2 (nipples) 3 (clit) : because our tools are too obvious (end of theory)

Touch me, stroke me, make me hard. Yes baby, I came, but it was not an orgasm.

Why? Because our real sexual organ lies above : the brain! 99% of the pleasure is happening there. ok maybe 80%. The mental build up is the most arousing. Why some men get hard at stripper bar? They are no fools, they are playing with their inner fantasies at the same time. They want to believe that girl is there for their pleasure, that she is hot for them. Erection happens.

No erection = not turned on? Play with my mind and you'll see that once it gets physical, the place will turn into an erotic playground. I've played for hours with some women - almost no touching but the mental game was incredibly erotic and the "physical" sex was overwhelming after. Mind orgasm? Sometimes, words can turn me on more than a touch. Right person, right place, right time, right tone.

Stop focusing on our cocks ladies and look in our eyes

Anyway... it's my opinion and I can be wrong. it is different for everyone

EDIT : of course, for the record, an erection is a sign that something is turning us on