As a budding submissive did you wonder

[sexycaz22]

I used to spank and flog myself....but always felt there were something missing....

Then my current play partner offered to be the first person to spank me, and I slept on it, decided to go for it, just to see if it would match up to my fantasies.

On the night, I bend over his lap, and he spanked me with his bare hand...as soon as the first one went down, I knew I have came "home". I loved it, and it matched up to what I dreamt, and beyond!! What we didn't expect was that I was flogged that night, also. And yes, I loved it too!!

Ever since, I kept going to him for the spankings and floggings 7 weeks in a row...but now because I went back to work (at the time I was on my break from work) it got lesser and lesser, and now I am missing it - a lot!! *laughs*

As for rope bondage (separate topic...I know..but...) I always wanted to try it, ever since I saw LittleJade, Homburg and BiBunny's pictures, and finally on Friday night at a club night, I finally tried it and it was really lovely! But at the same time, I felt a bit disappointed, because it wasn't really an intense scene, it was more like trying it on and seeing if I liked it. Also the person tieing me up was a lady..a lovely lady, but I wished it was my play partner or the guy I like so much who was to tie me up, would be more better and more intimate. But still, I know that I like rope bondage, and would love to try it again.

 

[His_pita]

if you would like spanking/flogging/whipping type play or did you instinctively know you would? And how was your first experience?

I actually worried about this quite a bit. I was in love with my dom, a man I hadn't met in person, and about to move in with. I knew I loved sex and I liked to be kinky. But would I like pain? Turns out I love it and all is well in my little world.

 

[the captians wench]

Hmmm, now that brought a smile to my dial...so much I had to stop being so lazy and post it to the calendar thread.

Catalina

It was a nice memory to revisit, I must say.

 

[ecstaticsub]

if you would like spanking/flogging/whipping type play or did you instinctively know you would? And how was your first experience?

I knew I was turned on by watching it and fantasizing about receiving it, but I was afraid of the reality. I had been spanked a little bit by my husband but since there wasn't the mindset that i needed it was just annoying pain.

The first time I met my Dom in person I learned what a caning felt like. It hurt! lol I found it exhilarating. However, I had to go home the next day and the mixture of subdrop, sub frenzy and the incredible soreness of the welts on my ass threw me into serious rebellion. It took a quite a bit of TLC over the phone to get back on track.

I can't say I like pain. No matter what mindset I am in, it all hurts. But I so much enjoy the activity itself and the afterglow that the degree of pain doesn't matter. It isn't exactly how i imagined it to be.

Even now before each time I go to meet him I worry about being able to take whatever kind or amount of pain he has planned. But then I also get excited looking forward to it.

 

[Yasashii_Kaze]

I knew I liked the idea, the fantasy of being spanked, caned, flogged, etc., but I wasn't sure about the reality of it. I was so stressed about meeting Snooze for the first time and finding out that all of this was just in my head and I would never actually like any of it. It was constantly in the back of my mind in the weeks leading up to our first meeting.

Snooze still laughs about how I responded the first time I was spanked. I ended up enjoying every minute of that weekend.

 

[Perfect_Trust]

Good question, and one I'm only just starting to get answered with a new partner.

Like others I had fantasised about it for so long, and ocsasionally used a belt/mini flogger whilst getting myself off.

We only recently had our first 'encounter' though we've been getting to know each other a while and were already having vanilla sex. I'd started to wind him up (long distance) that he wasn't really capable of it etc etc (he was nervous coz as he put it 'no one else had ever let him off the leash to do as he pleased').

Although we had both agreed we would talk about it and discuss it a while before heading down that route I think I was getting a bit frenzied and wondering if he would/could go there.

I was also wondering 'What if he does...will I actually like it/be able to take it?'

I'm pleased to say I ended up cuffed to the bed, blindfolded, with hot wax all over me and my ass cropped for being disrespectful. I kinda of knew I wouldn't be big on the crop, it stings, I already knew that from playing with a friend at school.

But despite it stinging like hell I still found it exciting after being made to apologise for questioning him, and being made to thank him.

Now we are looking at getting a flogger, I think I'll like that better but who knows?

 

[WriterDom]

I guess if you were abused it could be terrifying. Or it could go the other way and you'd crave extreme beatings but I imagine that's rare.

That's what is great about experienced subs. They can give you a laundry list of what they like and what they don't.

But what good is a checklist to some woman who has lived a completely vanilla life for 37 years?

I've just never ran across anyone who tired it and didn't come back for more.

 

[ecstaticsub]

But what good is a checklist to some woman who has lived a completely vanilla life for 37 years?

I lived a completely vanilla life for 42 years before filling out my first checklist. I found it very useful and I do believe my Dom did also. True I didn't know if I liked one kind of impact play over another but I also was willing to try anything he wanted. Even though I answered almost all the questions as "never tried" I also didn't answer any as "totally off-limits".

I would think there would be some value to unexperienced submissives

 

[WriterDom]

I lived a completely vanilla life for 42 years before filling out my first checklist. I found it very useful and I do believe my Dom did also. True I didn't know if I liked one kind of impact play over another but I also was willing to try anything he wanted. Even though I answered almost all the questions as "never tried" I also didn't answer any as "totally off-limits".

I would think there would be some value to unexperienced submissives

To me it's like asking a virgin do you like cowgirl, missionary, or doggie better.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

To me it's like asking a virgin do you like cowgirl, missionary, or doggie better.

If you asked me I would say "I dunno" and I don't. *chuckles*

Somehow I still hope that sex can be so much more fun than I ever had yet.....

 

[FurryFury]

I, for one, found a checklist very eye, mind and leg opening.

*wink*

I mean there were some things on there I'd never even thought about. Some of them really turned me on. I would have never guessed it before a check list.

So from there one might go to trying the stuff that on "paper" makes you wet and seeing if it's even better in person.

Plus, I found out things my husband was into that I never knew about.

I'm a big check list fan for these reasons!

Let's hear it for the check lists!

 

[rida]

if you would like spanking/flogging/whipping type play or did you instinctively know you would? And how was your first experience?

.......

But what good is a checklist to some woman who has lived a completely vanilla life for 37 years?

I've just never ran across anyone who tired it and didn't come back for more.

I resemble that comment, lol, although I was 36 when I filled out the list for the first time (Hubby asked me and we had been married for 8 years by than). I guess that what is important is that we had talked about the subject before, and I had some time to think and read up on things.
Still, the first time, I rated everything related to pain as something that I would do only to please him and only if it was going to be involving very limited pain. Spanking was making me feel angry just thinking about it, so as a compromise, I accepted to endure mild nipple torture.

Fast forward 4 years ... I still do not like pain, and spanking still makes me enraged. And yet I find myself craving it and wanting to feel different implements (more on the thuddy side than the stingy one). As for nipple torture ... still don't like the pain, but love the feeling afterwards.

So, to answer the first question, no, I didn't know I would like it. Actually I still do not think I like it per se. As other have expressede before me, I like the afterglow, the lingering feeling and what it represent.

 

[Xantu]

if you would like spanking/flogging/whipping type play or did you instinctively know you would? And how was your first experience?

I think I would.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I knew I wanted to be dominated even as a child. When I fantasised about local boys or celebrities it was always about them abducting me and forcing me to have sex with them. I had a very vague idea about what sex involved but the abduction/restraint side of the fantasy was enough to turn me on.

I started out assuming that my sub nature was a throwback to a religious upbringing. I didn't embrace it for a very long time. I saw it as something that was 'wrong with me' and an insult to generations of feminists who fought to give us (somewhat) equal rights.

I did spank myself as a teenager but it just frustrated me and I quickly gave up. My first sexual partner/relationship was with an older girl at my single-sex school. We played around and scoured the net for lesbian porn. We even pooled our allowances for a strap on and ordered it by mail. I lost my virginity to her.

We went our separate ways and I started seeing men. She is a confirmed lesbian. It was only a couple of years ago that I started to embrace my sub side and seek to serve my boyfriends. They didn't really get it though and I was too embarrassed to articulate what I actually wanted.

I hooked up with my ex girlfriend again and told her my fantasies. She had a go at topping me and decided she really enjoyed being dominant. She gave me my first real spanking, and then my first real impactplay session. They were amazing. Totally amazing. After that I never looked back.

Now I'm the TPE property of my Master and a very happy little deviant. If he's not around and I'm stressed out I will take a wooden spoon to my ass, I find it intensely therapeutic.

 

[ecstaticsub]

To me it's like asking a virgin do you like cowgirl, missionary, or doggie better.

So what's better an experienced person who answers "I tried them all, I only will do doggie" or a open minded virgin who will say "I don't know, but I am excited to find out " ?

 

[madetotakeit]

That's a very good question ecstaticsub. I hope you don't mind, but I am going to start a thread based on your question.

 

[WriterDom]

So what's better an experienced person who answers "I tried them all, I only will do doggie" or a open minded virgin who will say "I don't know, but I am excited to find out " ?

It all depends. Is it Rosie O'Donnell's secret twin who is the virgin and Angelina Jolie who likes it doggie?

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

It all depends. Is it Rosie O'Donnell's secret twin who is the virgin and Angelina Jolie who likes it doggie?

men...

 

[Chicklet]

if you would like spanking/flogging/whipping type play or did you instinctively know you would? And how was your first experience?

I identified as a masochist for YEARS before I got my first spanking and cropping. As much as my fantasies raved about things like that, and literally all of my sexual fantasies involved pain and bondage, I'd never put it into practice and was scared out of my mind that if I experienced it first-hand, I wouldn't like it.

The first time I was cropped was when I realized that I could safely identify as a masochist without worrying about whether or not it was true. It hurt more than I could have imagined, and I got wetter than I'd ever been in my entire life. It's so contradictory to what I imagine about sexuality to have those two contrasting sensations - being so hurt and in pain and so wet. It was so strange, and exciting, and repeatable!

I didn't instinctively know I'd like that play, I just thought I might. I certainly *hoped* I might. And, I do!!

 

[curiouskinkwife]

It was something that NEVER entered my mind at all on a conscious level. There was spanking involved in a traumatic childhood rape that made even the suggestion uninteresting to me. It was only after Hubby and I had been dating for a while that it came up. Oddly, it was at my suggestion. I was surprised to find how much I liked it. I think he was terrified to find how much HE liked it. I had been sexually active for 10 years at that point, and it was something I had never tried with a partner before then. Hubby and I agree that it was a trust issue, and only my deep trust in him allowed me to give up control.

And, even after that, spanking me on my vagina was strictly forbidden (that was the traumatic event). But, after some recent sharing and with Hubby and I reaching new levels of trust, love and understanding....I have asked to be spanked "there". It's even more titillating because I have to suppress my natural instinct to stop.

But enjoyment of spanking was nothing I had ever considered until the right person came along.

 

[marieR19]

I'm still new enough to it that I STILL don't know if I'll like hard whipping/flogging, but if my reaction to the few soft belt-whippings Beth gave me are any indication, then I'll like it very much.

I think I will, because I know I like pain and I embrace that.


Heather