As a lesbian woman, I understand men who identify as straight, but suck dick or have sex with men

[jackr541]

hi

 

[newhere2learn]

Some men are at their best when functioning as a dildo.

Having met some female friends ex's, I think that was their ONLY function

 

[lil_jenni]

I think a lot of people who categorize themselves as 100% straight or a 100% gay/lesbian are probably more like 90% or so. Yeah, there are 100% folks out there (I think my Hubby is 100% straight, or at least 99.9%), but I think that is more rare than societal expectations would predict. Plus, there can be a difference between romantic/relationship attraction and sexual attraction. A good friend of mine (sometimes a FWB at that) considers herself bisexual but homo focused, meaning she prefers women but is sometimes also sexually attracted to men, as well as homoromantic. For her, the urge to be with a man or men comes up occasionally, and when it does, she scratches that itch and then goes back to women.

For me, I've only ever been in two relationships I would consider romantic: my husband and an ex GF I had a few years back. But if it were not for my husband, I think I would be homoromantic. I was about 99% hetero focused in college, but none of that was romantic, and I had no interest in a romantic relationship until I met my Hubby. But I have had two recent casual relationships with women that I think could have been the basis for romantic relationships had I let them go that far, and of course I had the one with my ex GF.

 

[Stephie02]

I think a lot of people who categorize themselves as 100% straight or a 100% gay/lesbian are probably more like 90% or so. Yeah, there are 100% folks out there (I think my Hubby is 100% straight, or at least 99.9%), but I think that is more rare than societal expectations would predict. Plus, there can be a difference between romantic/relationship attraction and sexual attraction. A good friend of mine (sometimes a FWB at that) considers herself bisexual but homo focused, meaning she prefers women but is sometimes also sexually attracted to men, as well as homoromantic. For her, the urge to be with a man or men comes up occasionally, and when it does, she scratches that itch and then goes back to women.

For me, I've only ever been in two relationships I would consider romantic: my husband and an ex GF I had a few years back. But if it were not for my husband, I think I would be homoromantic. I was about 99% hetero focused in college, but none of that was romantic, and I had no interest in a romantic relationship until I met my Hubby. But I have had two recent casual relationships with women that I think could have been the basis for romantic relationships had I let them go that far, and of course I had the one with my ex GF.

First paragraph, your friend, that's just like me! Only my GF found a way to satisfy my urge for a guy, which gets more and more rare.

 

[JackanoryForAdults]

No more than is necessary to assure me that I'm not going to get murdered, I suppose? The lack of frills like warm-and-fuzzies is part of the appeal, I think.

I think you might be talking about the primal, quite raw and unvarnished (what I clumsily call "honesty") side of it. That makes total sense to me.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

So, here's the thing. I'm a lifelong lesbian, Gold Star Top and everything. I have no interest in ever being romantically involved with a man. I've got a lot of straight guy friends, who I mostly don't think are anywhere on the queer spectrum, and I hang out like one of the boys most of the time.

However, as I've crossed into my mid-thirties, I've started to have fantasies about sucking men off or getting fucked, specifically in the ass. I imagine being used and humiliated most of the time, but other times I get off imagining a guy slowly fucking the bend in my colon with his big cock and fingering my clit until I squirt. I have no interest in a guy fucking my pussy.

I still identify as a lesbian. I'd ideally like to marry a woman someday. However, I can see myself losing my Gold Star if the right situation arises.

All of that is to say, I vibe with men who identify as straight while actively sucking and fucking. I feel like we're brothers, in a way

Wonderful!

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

Most trans women are lesbians according to the studies that have been done.

The only question is, how many cis women would want them. I hope to find one!

 

[JT1999]

I have considered that and would definitely go for it if I could find a sapphic who wasn't a total prude about anal in my area

I have a lot of toys of various sizes I use on myself now. But I do think the experience of being taken anally by a woman would be inherently different than what I'm looking for to hit that spot, so to speak. Women, no matter the scene, always feel safe to me, if that makes sense, even when there are power dynamics on the table.

There would be none of that natural comfort or sense of security with a man, which I find thrilling

Totally get what you mean about women feeling safe. I had a wild time in my late teens and early twenties but I never went home with a guy I didn't know. It didn't feel right even when the attraction was there. I need to really know a man to want to go there.

 

[Mypssypls]

So, here's the thing. I'm a lifelong lesbian, Gold Star Top and everything. I have no interest in ever being romantically involved with a man. I've got a lot of straight guy friends, who I mostly don't think are anywhere on the queer spectrum, and I hang out like one of the boys most of the time.

However, as I've crossed into my mid-thirties, I've started to have fantasies about sucking men off or getting fucked, specifically in the ass. I imagine being used and humiliated most of the time, but other times I get off imagining a guy slowly fucking the bend in my colon with his big cock and fingering my clit until I squirt. I have no interest in a guy fucking my pussy.

I still identify as a lesbian. I'd ideally like to marry a woman someday. However, I can see myself losing my Gold Star if the right situation arises.

All of that is to say, I vibe with men who identify as straight while actively sucking and fucking. I feel like we're brothers, in a way

I know exactly what you mean. 100% agree with the comment about not being stuck on labels. There is gender (M, F, NB, etc) and who we are attracted to. I’ve identified as she/her and a lesbian (top) most of my life and have slept exclusively with women. but when I got older 30s+, I realized I am a sexual being and would like to experience all beings.. including those with penises. The tricky part is to find the right FWB situation at set clear ground rules (we can eat each other out but no vaginal penetration, etc). As a lifelong top, it’s nice to be cared for and submit to our sexual desires once in a while…

 

[klippert]

I have a unique perspective as well, that’s for anyone who would be interested. That said; my wife’s cousin was pretty much a tomboy, as I have been told and athlete, college volleyball player. Who married her college boyfriend and had kids. Eventually they divorced, amicably. He remarried… as she floundered about. My wife had always thought she was more interested in women. When the big day came. She and her next door girlfriend were announcing to the family; for what reason, and no one can explain why… They were a lesbian couple. The closest U-Haul lesbian affair ever. This bliss lasted about six months. When quietly they separated.. or moved back home.
Honestly no one really cared.. I said “I’ll bet Lisa is banging a guy (Lisa is my wife’s cousin). . Shure enough that’s exactly what it was. Not to long after. Lisa called to talk to wife (other family matters), through the conversation, she told her… “I like sex with women. But I can’t stand being with them… and I just need a good fucking from a man”. My wife wasn’t shocked, Lisa always talked freely.
Moral to this, from my perspective of living a cpl yrs in the gay lifestyle. Nature can’t be altered. Natural instinct will always win in the end. As Lisa said to my wife “women are just beautiful. But men “I need, I just don’t want to deal with the drama from either”.
My opinion… either gay man or woman. The natural instinct will always be there.

 

[Raybies93]

So, here's the thing. I'm a lifelong lesbian, Gold Star Top and everything. I have no interest in ever being romantically involved with a man. I've got a lot of straight guy friends, who I mostly don't think are anywhere on the queer spectrum, and I hang out like one of the boys most of the time.

However, as I've crossed into my mid-thirties, I've started to have fantasies about sucking men off or getting fucked, specifically in the ass. I imagine being used and humiliated most of the time, but other times I get off imagining a guy slowly fucking the bend in my colon with his big cock and fingering my clit until I squirt. I have no interest in a guy fucking my pussy.

I still identify as a lesbian. I'd ideally like to marry a woman someday. However, I can see myself losing my Gold Star if the right situation arises.

All of that is to say, I vibe with men who identify as straight while actively sucking and fucking. I feel like we're brothers, in a way

thats very interesting…

 

[BillyWalrus]

The only question is, how many cis women would want them. I hope to find one!

I think you will be fine. Even though my gf is straight, she always has cis women around who are interested in her. If I were not in the picture, who knows if she might not find herself in a relationship with one of them?

 

[BlueChamisa]

I saw another thread the other day that touched on men who have sex with men, not necessarily being bi or gay, and in my heart, that's what I feel a kinship to.

I have no trouble understanding the situation you describe. And I agree with the "forget labels" post.

But I want to point out that if you did decide to have sex with a man, how many people, male, female, gay, lesbian or bisexual, would immediately brand you as "straight"? I'm guessing virtually none.

Meanwhile, if a straight man sucks a single cock, a whole hell of a lot of people, male, female, gay, possibly lesbian (but probably not bisexual, unless a hypocrite) will immediately brand him as "gay."

It's a dumb double-standard, rooted in homophobia, which I believe is deeply rooted in misogyny.

I hope you get to enjoy the experience you seek sometime, with someone safe and attractive!

 

[BiGuy_64]

Oh! You said it so well. I’ve never been romantically interested in other men, and they don’t turn me on in the way women do. But the idea of getting railed in the ass or sucking a big cock makes me weak at the knees. I’ve had a few same sex encounters and they were fun but also awkward.
Well met brother!

Never had an awkward encounter with a man.

I believe I’m heteroromantic, but I have a FWB that has me wondering now if I could get into a relationship with a man.

When I came out as bi, my bi daughter (who’s had a number of lesbian relationships) asked if I could be in a relationship with a man. When I told her I might, she said if it happened, that would be a discussion with the family.

Not sure if I believe that part anymore

 

[Aussieguy8]

I had a friend who was very similar. Inspired some, heavily adapted, stories I've written.

For her it was about humiliation and part of that was growing up in a culture that didn't accept her lesbianism. So she was self hating and that was part of the play.

I feel really privileged she trusted me enough to experiment. But it seemed like every 3-6 months (often after a break up) she had a real need to sexually please a man. And, you know, worse places in the world for me to be

 

[BiCuriousWriter]

But a LOT of lesbians, at least in my circle irl, are very, I don't know how to describe it exactly... purists? They're monogamous, coupled lesbians, so if I were to talk about casually having anal with a dude, I don't think they'd get it. They'd definitely think I was going straight or bi, sadly.

Sadly? Would that change the relationship of how you socialise with each other?

 

[liqueur]

So, here's the thing. I'm a lifelong lesbian, Gold Star Top and everything. I have no interest in ever being romantically involved with a man....
However, as I've crossed into my mid-thirties, I've started to have fantasies about sucking men off or getting fucked, specifically in the ass.

Categorical thinking always creates problems for those (“those” = “most,” realistically) who don't fit neatly into the prescribed categories. It's an age-old archetypal problem: see, for instance, the myth of Procrustes)

But since we are talking in categories, here's one you see occasionally that hasn't been mentioned: “bisexual/hetero-romantic.” I'd suggest you consider the possibility that you may be “bisexual/homo-romantic.”

 

[stargame]

Totally get what you mean about women feeling safe. I had a wild time in my late teens and early twenties but I never went home with a guy I didn't know. It didn't feel right even when the attraction was there. I need to really know a man to want to go there.

I get it. I've been propositioned many many times. But I'd really like to know who i'm going home with.

 

[JT1999]

I get it. I've been propositioned many many times. But I'd really like to know who i'm going home with.

Its a hard no from me too. No matter who he is, how hot he is, it just never felt right to go home with a guy. Furthest I ever went was a dance floor snog with a guy. It always felt far too risky. I would happily (and did) go home with girls though. The vibe was always so different. I had a thing in my head for a while about sex with men, I didn't like the fact they could get pleasure from my body without giving anything back and that kind of sex is almost totally absent when its two women. I have been with girls that were hesitant to touch me back or too shy to initiate and that was still fine, because the pleasure they had was what I gave, not what they took.

 

[stargame]

I get that too, and I've experienced men being way too selfish. All they wanted to do is get in my panties and get off. Blaaaa to that.

 

[misscorvidae]

Its a hard no from me too. No matter who he is, how hot he is, it just never felt right to go home with a guy. Furthest I ever went was a dance floor snog with a guy. It always felt far too risky. I would happily (and did) go home with girls though. The vibe was always so different. I had a thing in my head for a while about sex with men, I didn't like the fact they could get pleasure from my body without giving anything back and that kind of sex is almost totally absent when its two women. I have been with girls that were hesitant to touch me back or too shy to initiate and that was still fine, because the pleasure they had was what I gave, not what they took.

As a trans woman, I have to hard second this. I walked amongst men for a long time, and I never want to be treated the way I've seen other women be. Respect is sexy, and my current partner is the first person to make me feel loved, lusted for, and safe all at once. Can't imagine being anything other than sapphic at this point.

But to the original poster's point: I get it. When I'm horny, I'll read all sorts of stories, watch stuff that happens to have guys in it. It would have to be a 1-in-a-million guy for me to actually go home with. (Please no "I'm that guy responses.")

 

[Nekidinaz]

Everyone has different desires and needs. We should do what feels right and not get hung up on labels.

I totally agree! I try to stay away from all the labels and stay within the bounds of what I know I like and what feels good to me. I have only enjoyed a couple of cocks in my mouth and have never had anyone cum in my mouth. I far more enjoy feeling a cock in my ass which I've only experienced a half dozen times or so and mostly with the same friend. I love anal as long as I can bottom

 

[Don_private]

So, here's the thing. I'm a lifelong lesbian, Gold Star Top and everything. I have no interest in ever being romantically involved with a man. I've got a lot of straight guy friends, who I mostly don't think are anywhere on the queer spectrum, and I hang out like one of the boys most of the time.

However, as I've crossed into my mid-thirties, I've started to have fantasies about sucking men off or getting fucked, specifically in the ass. I imagine being used and humiliated most of the time, but other times I get off imagining a guy slowly fucking the bend in my colon with his big cock and fingering my clit until I squirt. I have no interest in a guy fucking my pussy.

I still identify as a lesbian. I'd ideally like to marry a woman someday. However, I can see myself losing my Gold Star if the right situation arises.

All of that is to say, I vibe with men who identify as straight while actively sucking and fucking. I feel like we're brothers, in a way

Interesting thread…it hit the nail on the head for me
Like you…could never ever think of giving up on women…love women! I never look at other guys and think a guy is hot or I wish I could fuck that guy…it never happened for me from a ‘desire’ perspective …only a curiosity perspective. I ALWAYS wished I could experience what a woman feels…to be a woman for a week and be a nympho for the week…making girl sounds…getting fucked by a big cock by one or more guys at the same time…over my life, I’ve been with over 100 women, 20+ guys and a dozen different couples…

I guess my experimentation and enjoyment I had with men was 100% based upon wondering what it was like to be a woman…to be fucked by a guy…and thus, my favorite bi sex position was always missionary. I am a bottom…but I did enjoy being a top…when I refer to me being a top, I mean, him lying on his back, rock hard cock standing up…and lowering my lubed ass onto his cock and riding him…but, most of all?…I LOVED lying on my back, legs spread, reaching down and guiding a guys hard cock to the entrance of my asshole…then feeling him slide inside my lubed ass…wrapping my legs around his back…and then sucking his tongue into my mouth while he fucked me…I had a long relationship with a gay guy who also had a pantyhose fetish, and also had a foot fetish…so he would sometimes grab my nylon covered ankles as he fucked my asshole…and he would start sucking on my toes while fucking me…I would close my eyes and get into my ‘feminine zone’ where I pretended I was a woman being fucked.
I have fucked a couple guys in MMF, but I’d say that 90% of the time, I accepted invites or hooked up with people that knew I was a bottom.

Being in missionary …his cock sliding deeper and deeper inside me…while he would slide his hand up and down my cock…or push his tongue into my mouth for me to suck on…or wrapping my legs over his back, was probably as close to feeling what a woman experiences…you would never ever see me and think that he gets naked and loves pretending to be a woman getting fucked…

 

[they_write]

Hey I’m a lesbian that has no desire to date or really attraction to men but I do enjoy sucking dick and like fully deepthroating them. I don’t know where it came from and there’s a lot of like uncomfortable thoughts around it when I think on it because like I feel like it’s conceding to patriarchal shit and like giving men more reasons to not respect us but like the idea of being that lesbian a guy gets to suck his dick is just so arousing for me

 

[Raybies93]

Lesbians use strap-ons and vibrators to pleasure themselves and each other, so why should using a real warm pulsing flesh-&-blood cock be any different? If you use the cock on your own terms, it must feel better than just buzzing plastic...

I have always said that.