Ask the opposite gender.

[AllenWoody]

I've got one for the lads:

Men are touch-starved for affection to a degree that truly breaks my heart, and I like to write in these details, so my stories can be just as enjoyable for men. So, here's my question: What are your favorite types of touch or ways of being shown physical affection from your partner that just melt you?

It can be sexual, sensual, or just affectionate. What are you craving? Shoulder kisses? Hands through your hair/beard? My husband is a sucker for random kisses on his neck, even if it's just in passing. Or if I massage his hands when we're just watching a movie. I think this is a spot in writing that really isn't paid much attention to since, traditionally, men are expected to be the ones who supply this type of romantic interaction, but they aren't the recipients nearly enough.

Non-sexual but very important: My lady leans into/against me when we're together on the couch watching TV. She draws her legs up so her knees rest on my thighs, her head is against my shoulder so I can kiss the top of her head and cradle her against me with my arm around her shoulder. Magic. Unfortunately it will put her to sleep if she's remotely tired.

 

[Ms_Macabre]

Non-sexual but very important: My lady leans into/against me when we're together on the couch watching TV. She draws her legs up so her knees rest on my thighs, her head is against my shoulder so I can kiss the top of her head and cradle her against me with my arm around her shoulder. Magic. Unfortunately it will put her to sleep if she's remotely tired.

That sounds very sweet.

 

[SimonDoom]

I've got one for the lads:

Men are touch-starved for affection to a degree that truly breaks my heart, and I like to write in these details, so my stories can be just as enjoyable for men. So, here's my question: What are your favorite types of touch or ways of being shown physical affection from your partner that just melt you?

It can be sexual, sensual, or just affectionate. What are you craving? Shoulder kisses? Hands through your hair/beard? My husband is a sucker for random kisses on his neck, even if it's just in passing. Or if I massage his hands when we're just watching a movie. I think this is a spot in writing that really isn't paid much attention to since, traditionally, men are expected to be the ones who supply this type of romantic interaction, but they aren't the recipients nearly enough.

Here are things I like:

1. It's less about the specific gesture or the body parts involved than it is the way it's done. It's more the feeling that the woman MEANS it. There's genuine affection and attentiveness behind the gesture.

2. Patience is important. I don't want it to be rushed. I was in a long-term relationship where I was very patient iin being affectionate with my partner, who appreciated it, but she could never seem to be patient when it came time for her to tend to me. That was very difficult to take. There was a constant imbalance.

3. Being flexible and responsive. If she kisses me in a particular place, and I say, "That feels good," I want her to get the hint and linger there. I don't want her to have a preconceived idea of a performance she's supposed to put on.

4. Kisses are always good. There's nothing like the feel of a woman's lips.

5. I have a voyeuristic streak and am drawn to women with an exhibitionist streak. If she demonstrates that she likes to show off for me, it drives me crazy.

6. This is a key thing for me: figure out what your partner wants, however you can. Trial and error, or just asking. And when you learn what they want, give it to them, enthusiastically. Take pleasure from giving pleasure. When two partners can be on the same wavelength in that way, it's magical.

 

[theMasterBaiter]

Questions for women, gay / bi men, or anyone who has had someone fuck them and cum up their pussy or ass:

Part 1: Can you actually /feel/ the cum? To be clear, I know you can feel the change in lubrication (assuming they keep fucking, or if someone else trains you) and I know the pulsing of a cock is a distinct feeling and makes it pretty obvious when they have cum (or are faking it), but can you actually feel a deeper warmth or sensation of the cum itself? Obviously, oral doesn't count 'cause you can taste that. Although... I wonder if you can feel it if someone cums down your throat past your tongue? Hmm... I've never had that. Inquiring sluts want to know...

Part 2: (and why I'm asking this in he authors area) if someone writes "She felt the scalding hot spunk coat her insides..." does that make you chuckle and cause you to fall out of the scene? Or is it still sexy? Please keep in mind I'm only asking the people who have a reason to know better, I'm not asking the straight men or whatever who haven't ever been pumped up with cum; just cause y'all wouldn't know, see? I know men typically love phrases like that, or a lot do, because I see them all the time in high rated erotica, but I just want to know if it makes the fuckees laugh.

I'm guessing, based on personal experience and conversations with others that 1. No, you can't feel it, 2. it doesn't really matter that much in a story, because you think "maybe this stud really produces THAT much hot spunk and they really can feel it, although I've never been dicked down that good before.".

 

[Erozetta]

Questions for women, gay / bi men, or anyone who has had someone fuck them and cum up their pussy or ass:

Part 1: Can you actually /feel/ the cum? To be clear, I know you can feel the change in lubrication (assuming they keep fucking, or if someone else trains you) and I know the pulsing of a cock is a distinct feeling and makes it pretty obvious when they have cum (or are faking it), but can you actually feel a deeper warmth or sensation of the cum itself? Obviously, oral doesn't count 'cause you can taste that. Although... I wonder if you can feel it if someone cums down your throat past your tongue? Hmm... I've never had that. Inquiring sluts want to know...

Part 2: (and why I'm asking this in he authors area) if someone writes "She felt the scalding hot spunk coat her insides..." does that make you chuckle and cause you to fall out of the scene? Or is it still sexy? Please keep in mind I'm only asking the people who have a reason to know better, I'm not asking the straight men or whatever who haven't ever been pumped up with cum; just cause y'all wouldn't know, see? I know men typically love phrases like that, or a lot do, because I see them all the time in high rated erotica, but I just want to know if it makes the fuckees laugh.

I'm guessing, based on personal experience and conversations with others that 1. No, you can't feel it, 2. it doesn't really matter that much in a story, because you think "maybe this stud really produces THAT much hot spunk and they really can feel it, although I've never been dicked down that good before.".

Temperature wise, no. Pressure wise, yes, but it depends on the guy, I think. Some it was... plentiful and powerful, others more like a spurt and dribble. But warmth? Nah, my insides are typically about the same temp as whatever they squirt out. If I have a fever it can feel a little cooler than normal, though... That's weird.

Cums down your throat and past your tongue? Yeah, it can be felt, but again the degree to how much depends on the guy and their capacity to produce.

As for part two... I mean, it depends. A vampire lady is room temp at best, ejaculate is gonna feel hot to her. A demon is likely hotter than a guy's cum, it'll probably feel cooler and... I never thought about it before but now I'm wondering if a demon chick could burn a guy's dick, lol. I do have a story where demon cum causes an intense painful burning sensation (that can be allowed to last or healed as the demon wishes.) But between two humans? I've written it that way for effect, but it definitely makes me roll my eyes when it's done to an exaggerated degree.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'll bite on this one thanks to a recent dinner gathering, and the fact this has happened a couple of times in the past.

This was the third gathering over the last several years of mostly people my wife knows and the topic of writing came up and my wife declared that I write erotica. In all three instances, the women at the table's reactions were in the form of "really?" and looking at me differently, with a couple of 'good for you' tossed in my wife's direction

Conversely, the men all roll their eyes or give looks of disdain.

I get the male aspect is insecurity because its what many men are to various degrees, but my question is for the women.

Do you think a man who writes erotica makes them attractive in some way? Maybe along the lines of if he can think it, and write, he'd probably do it? Or is it really a non-factor?

 

[Erozetta]

I'll bite on this one thanks to a recent dinner gathering, and the fact this has happened a couple of times in the past.

This was the third gathering over the last several years of mostly people my wife knows and the topic of writing came up and my wife declared that I write erotica. In all three instances, the women at the table's reactions were in the form of "really?" and looking at me differently, with a couple of 'good for you' tossed in my wife's direction

Conversely, the men all roll their eyes or give looks of disdain.

I get the male aspect is insecurity because its what many men are to various degrees, but my question is for the women.

Do you think a man who writes erotica makes them attractive in some way? Maybe along the lines of if he can think it, and write, he'd probably do it? Or is it really a non-factor?

That's gonna be a varied response. For me, it'd spark curiosity rather than attraction.

I recently told a real life female friend about me writing erotica. She was, I think perplexed at first, but came around after she read one of my stories and has now been reading on Lit, from what I understand. I was on her new podcast about two weeks ago talking about my writing and I told her I'd been writing erotica for years and, again, she seemed perplexed but quickly got over it.

I'd wager the reaction is less attraction than it is "I never expected this person to do that kind of thing." Which possibly opened you up to seeming more approachable than they might've previously thought you were. Basically allowed them to let down a wall, not only with you, but with your wife. That she doesn't take offense or feel threatened by your writing erotica means she's likely to be open minded and they can now feel safer talking to her about things they might've otherwise held back on. (As was the case with my real life friend.)

 

[lovecraft68]

That's gonna be a varied response. For me, it'd spark curiosity rather than attraction.

I recently told a real life female friend about me writing erotica. She was, I think perplexed at first, but came around after she read one of my stories and has now been reading on Lit, from what I understand. I was on her new podcast about two weeks ago talking about my writing and I told her I'd been writing erotica for years and, again, she seemed perplexed but quickly got over it.

I'd wager the reaction is less attraction than it is "I never expected this person to do that kind of thing." Which possibly opened you up to seeming more approachable than they might've previously thought you were. Basically allowed them to let down a wall, not only with you, but with your wife. That she doesn't take offense or feel threatened by your writing erotica means she's likely to be open minded and they can now feel safer talking to her about things they might've otherwise held back on. (As was the case with my real life friend.)

True, my wife, despite being with me for 20+ years now, still somehow has a professional as well as 'good girl" persona so it was probably more a shock to them on her end.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I'll bite on this one thanks to a recent dinner gathering, and the fact this has happened a couple of times in the past.

This was the third gathering over the last several years of mostly people my wife knows and the topic of writing came up and my wife declared that I write erotica. In all three instances, the women at the table's reactions were in the form of "really?" and looking at me differently, with a couple of 'good for you' tossed in my wife's direction

Conversely, the men all roll their eyes or give looks of disdain.

I get the male aspect is insecurity because its what many men are to various degrees, but my question is for the women.

Do you think a man who writes erotica makes them attractive in some way? Maybe along the lines of if he can think it, and write, he'd probably do it? Or is it really a non-factor?

It would largely depend on the context of the conversation. The more I felt someone tried to force that information into the conversation the more I'd suspect he was one of those, "Buffy had 38DDs, a body built for sin, and hungered for Tommy's 10 in cock" writers.
The gap between what people can write about and what they can actually do can be pretty vast...

 

[lovecraft68]

It would largely depend on the context of the conversation. The more I felt someone tried to force that information into the conversation the more I'd suspect he was one of those, "Buffy had 38DDs, a body built for sin, and hungered for Tommy's 10 in cock" writers.
The gap between what people can write about and what they can actually do can be pretty vast...

There was no graphic content, my wife left it at the word erotica. The only other detail was one of her friends asked if it was like 50 Shades, and she said "No, he actually knows what BDSM is"

It was a bit of a dull crowd. Toastmasters is not exactly an exciting bunch. The conversation was more fun at her twentieth high school reunion.

I do tell her that its a bit unfair that she'll mention that, but I'm never supposed to tell anyone she was a phone sex operator in college.

That way people could be sure of one thing, between the two skill sets our dirty talk is on point.