To be honest, I don't even know where to find the ignore button. Probably should have been the first thing I learned, huh?
Give yourself a break! You've only been (posting, at least) here for a few weeks, and it takes more time than that to establish yourself and learn, especially if you've kind of gone the backwards route of jumping in prior to observing.
Yep. Online, real-life and some people have even met here and moved in together, gotten engaged and married.
The folks that you'll want to get to know will respond to you in a positive manner, the ones that jump right down your throat and have no desire to hear your input will be the ones you want to avoid.
However, with that said, make sure you don't jump the gun on what they say or don't say, some folks accidentally miss your post and you may feel you got "skipped" others may respond, but you have to remember the emotes on the side don't always work in showing the right emotions. What you may think is sarcasm may not be sarcasm at all.
I think you just need to be yourself and in the end, the ones that matter will be the ones that see you.
I do understand what you're saying. I too thought I knew about sex and sexuality, and I too got a wake up call. I've talked about myself so much that I know for a fact people are sick of reading about me, but if my story can relate to someone else than I'll share it and those that are sick of hearing it can chose not to read.
Anyway, regardless of what you do, I'd suggest putting what you ARE looking for in your profile and sig in no uncertain terms. There's no harm in warning people (OK, guys) that while you welcome good conversation, you are not seeking slimy PMs, requests for cybersex, camming, pics, phonesex, etc., and any PMs of that type of sexual nature will be ignored. Then you don't have to respond to PMs you don't like at all or worry about being bitchy.
Apart from that kind of stuff, though, what other questions do you have? Maybe we can answer at least some of them right in this thread for you.
Behave as you want people to behave towards you.
To be honest, I don't even know where to find the ignore button. Probably should have been the first thing I learned, huh?
I do understand what you're saying. I too thought I knew about sex and sexuality, and I too got a wake up call. I've talked about myself so much that I know for a fact people are sick of reading about me, but if my story can relate to someone else than I'll share it and those that are sick of hearing it can chose not to read.
When I came to Lit. I was 31 and a mother of three. I had only had sex with one man, my spouse. I look back now and know I married him because he was safe, he was everything my sisters' previous husbands were not. I had learned early on to avoid the kind of men my sisters had married and I refused to even consider a man that did not fall within my guidelines of the "right guy" - I was in my late teens when I came up with my list. I was young, and scared. I didn't want to end up divorced, abused, and in a lot of pain dealing with the soap opera that was their lives. I didn't want to hurt my parents either, by walking the same path as them. I had been taught at around the age of 12 that masturbation was wrong, and when I married my spouse that teaching was reinforced, because he told me it was wrong, and disgusting. I never thought to masturbate because of the beliefs those I trusted to be wiser than me had to be right - right? I didn't masturbate until coming to Lit.
I also didn't really know much about BDSM, lesbians, gays, bisexual, transgenders - except "those" people weren't normal. Believe me, they are just as normal as we are - however normal we see ourselves anyway.
I showed up here ignorant and I posted a lot, flirted a lot, and yep I cybered and phoned. I did a lot of things I shouldn't have, my spouse knew and still knows I'm here on Lit. He doesn't know I have done the things I mentioned, but our relationship is a whole other story, and for that you'd need a full day to catch up and that's not the topic of the thread. I took a step back from Lit. and worked on my marriage, we're in a better place, but not in a passionate place.
You don't need a new identity to start over, you just need a new attitude. In time those who have formed an unpleasant opinion of you, will see the change, and if they are worthy of your friendship, you'll know it.
Don't be embarrassed about your past posts. Hell I've not even looked at them, so I don't know what you've done/haven't done. I don't think many will care either. Just embrace the good times, discard the bad, and become the woman you want to be, and there will be times you will think off handed comments are aimed at you, but remember there are hundreds of people here at all times of the day and night and not every post will be about you and most likely they aren't.
A good rule of thumb, if they don't quote your post, or name you in the post, there is a good chance it had nothing to do with you. ((hugs))
*Long sigh* Not to get all overly mushy here, but it's really nice to feel your encouragement and support. And acceptance, validation, understanding. Anyway, many, many thanks for sharing some of your story and experiences. I definitely feel we have some common ground. I haven't been around long, but I don't think I could get tired of learning about your life. I really look forward to getting to know you.
