Best And Worst Pick Up Line...

[RNJAG]

These are great!

I was at a barn dance yrs ago with my brother in law. He had disappeared for awhile. He comes back to where we were sitting soaked from the waist up. Asked him what happened he says. "All she had to say was NO I DON'T WANT TO FUCK!!"
Ha ha that was so funny.

 

[RNJAG]

Cumon. There's a bazillions people here theres gotta be a lot more!

 

[RNJAG]

Ya know what would look really good on you? ME!

 

[Luna_Bella]

context : me and my best friend talking together him and his friends close by when he butts in
-Guy: I think you should be my girlfriend.
-me: YOU THINK!? I knew players got head but I didn't know they had brains!!!!
(one of his friends almost choked on his drink he started laughing so hard)

Guy: is there place for one more in those pants?
Me: no were already two in here, rubbing my lower stomach lovingly and smiling , I was pregnant with my daughter but not yet showing, guy turned green and nervously laughed while walking away.

Guy: I've been looking at you and you really turn me on!
me : really? then you better turn back because I am about to tell you off!


guy whispering in my ear,- God, you smell so good!
Me- thanks ( handing him a mint) you have bad breath!

and worst of them all

the guy just discreetly hands me a condom, I look at him dumbfounded, he says "I thought we could use it later". I look at him seducingly, slip the condom back in his shirt pocket and whisper in his ear- we would need a lot more than one of those for me to sleep with you, I don't trust a thin rubber against a*hole disease.

 

[Skaoi]

At a frat party: "Is your name Sprite? Because baby you quench my thirst."


I don't know if it was the way the guy said it, his charisma, looks, or my attitude at the time but I completely loved this one: "You've got a body that would make a priest weep."

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

(From a guy with a buddy)...
Are you in to fucking and sucking? (Hopeful look on his face)
I still laugh about that one. At least he didn't beat around the bush.

 

[RNJAG]

(From a guy with a buddy)...
Are you in to fucking and sucking? (Hopeful look on his face)
I still laugh about that one. At least he didn't beat around the bush.

Now that is straight to the point, but did it work?

 

[athleticmale]

Lick finger and touch whoever ur using the line on clothes". Let me get you out of those wet clothes

 

[fgarvb1]

The only time I really (I guess) pick up a woman in a bar/club or whatever I went off on her.

When ever I arrived, before I could get to the bar to grab a beer she would intercept me, sex me up and go back to what ever she was doing ignoring me for as long as i was there...which wasn't long, because it wasn't my kind of place (was looking for a lady friend of mine, if she was back in town she would show up there.) but I would drop in for a beer every Friday or Saturday night.

Finally I had enough. I advised her to either give me some pussy or leave me the hell alone because, this shit was getting old.

Kinky little slut. Favored fucking in a hot shower.

 

[swtrthnhoney]

Received an email: I want to do you.

Needless to say, that wasn't enough to pique my interest.

 

[fgarvb1]

Received an email: I want to do you.

Needless to say, that wasn't enough to pique my interest.

That's it?

No description?

WTF!

Lazy asshole!

That's like a half assed obscene phone call.

Would piss me off.

 

[ellpee]

I don't know. I'm so much of a freak that I scare a lot of people. They won't even let me in any sex club in the region.

Not even the nether region????

 

[Aurantica]

I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy!

Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?

I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

Now that is straight to the point, but did it work?

No, it did NOT work! I'm not that easy But I did get a great laugh out of it.

 

[HornyHenry]

Several times...

Would you like to go out for breakfast?

Sure

Should I phone you or nudge you?

 

[miner254]

"I've been considering becoming a pilot.....mind if I take a test flight in your cockpit?"

 

[RNJAG]

"I've been considering becoming a pilot.....mind if I take a test flight in your cockpit?"

Hmm that was kinda lame. Sounds like something a 16yo might say.

 

[CWatson]

Here's one I invented myself for a webcomic I used to draw:

"Daaaaamn, girl, you so hot that if you were a sidewalk, I could fry an egg on you!"

(I refuse to use it in public, before you ask.)

 

[Hhot]

# I suffer from amnesia. Do I cum here often?

 

[blackstallion21]

What time do you get off, and HOW?

Are there mirrors in your pants? Because I can see myself in them!

Do you plant TwoLips? (tulips)

You're Not a Priest, Don't Touch Me THERE!!!

 

[Lost_Yonder]

hey babe, do you swallow?

 

[Dr_O]

You look so fucking hot in that jacket (those boots, that shirt, whatever item of clothing the chick obviously settled upon after trying on 20 different things)

 

[danigrl84]

Are there mirrors on your jeans? (I look confused)
Because I can see myself in them.



The absolute worst I ever got was at a country line dancing bar in bum fuck egypt:
"You smell just like this stripper I saw once....can I buy you a drink"
How very flattering....

 

[epiphanie_life]

Awesome thread!

 

[danigrl84]

Do you have any Italian in you?
Would you like some?