Bi Curious Guy and Anal prep.

[Snapquick]

I am a bi guy who will admit that anal play feels good. My wife only on occasion will play with my anus so I have posted ads and enjoyed the company of other married bi guys. I recently had my anus deflowered by a real cock. There was a little discomfort. It was not from girth, since I have played with butt plugs for years, but from depth. Is there any way I can prepare myself for more depth. Different positions, toys, what? What position is best, whether it is my wife having her way with me or a "friend" enjoying what I have to offer.
Also, ladies, does two guys turn you on? Two women turn most guys on!

 

[SweetErika]

My wife only on occasion will play with my anus so I have posted ads and enjoyed the company of other married bi guys. I recently had my anus deflowered by a real cock.

How does your wife feel about this?

Hopefully it was a condom-covered cock.

There was a little discomfort. It was not from girth, since I have played with butt plugs for years, but from depth. Is there any way I can prepare myself for more depth. Different positions, toys, what? What position is best, whether it is my wife having her way with me or a "friend" enjoying what I have to offer.

Read through the Anal section of this thread, if you haven't done so already. There's lots of great info in there, even if it's more geared toward M/F anal (an ass is an ass).

As you see in the pic below, the rectum is fairly straight, and then it makes a sharp bend to your left as it turns into the colon. Most rectums are only about 6 inches long, IIRC, so if the cock/object penetrating is longer than that, there could very well be pain as it "bottoms out" (or hits the wall of the rectum before the sharp bend). Pain can be avoided by decreasing the depth and force of penetration. Positions like spooning and lying flat on your stomach will help decrease the depth of penetration. You might also try being on top, maybe in reverse cowgirl/boy, so you can control the speed and depth of penetration (i.e. if it hurts, don't go so deep).
http://rsdweb.k12.ar.us/schools/secondary/rms/preap/abele/pics/digestive.gif

And obviously you want to be careful with whatever's penetrating you because pushing something in there with too much force can tear or rupture the wall of the rectum or colon. The walls are very fragile (far moreso than those of the vagina) and tears can be life threatening and very difficult to repair. So, if something's hurting you, stop immediately and figure out something else.

Also, ladies, does two guys turn you on? Two women turn most guys on!

It turns some women on, but not others, just like anything else. It doesn't repulse me, but it doesn't turn me on, either. I can see where it might under the right circumstances, but I'm otherwise very ambivalent about it.

It really doesn't matter how we feel about it; it's how your wife feels about it that counts.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Also, anal sex (particularly when you're new to it) can cause the rectum to react to the intrusion. If there is faecal matter occluding the rectum, forcing it upwards can cause a violent reaction and some people even retch and feel like they might vomit as the digestive tract as a whole reacts.

Enemas and anal douches will minimise this response. As will starting very slow and gentle after taking the time to open the anus gradually with lots of lube.

I second Erika here in that, if your wife is unaware of your extra-curricular activities with men, you are playing a very dangerous game. If there are kids involved as well, I would advise you to have a serious rethink and either come clean to your wife about your bi side or close the can of worms.

Many STDs can be contracted through unprotected oral and unprotected anal is very risky because there is a high risk of small tears and bleeding, which allows any infection to enter your system with ease.

I can't say that watching 2 guys would turn me on but one of my biggest fantasies is MFM and if the guys became interested in each other I'd be ok with that. I can't say that it would necessarily add to the experience for me though.

 

[desertslave]

You've gotten excellent health and physical advice, there's nothing I could add to it, except one more voice urging you to be honest with your wife.

As far as turn-ons go. I know I'm a bit out of the norm for starters. My first dominant was a bi man and had an ongoing relationship with another man when we met. As I grew into the relationship with both of them, they allowed me to witness and eventually participate with both of them. IMO it was very hot, but I have to say that I've never gotten the same kind of thrill from watching commercial porn. They do it wrong in the movies! (Yeah, yeah, big surprise there. LOL) What I was allowed to be a part of was intense, physically, but very loving at the same time. There's a power to M/M sex that just blows me away when it's truly personal.

I'm going to take a leap and presume that you're asking because you wonder if your wife might like to participate or at least witness. I don't think there can be an official answer here. It depends entirely on what pushes her buttons. However, if watching your pleasure is an especial hot button for her, you might have a very good chance. A lot depends on her own thoughts on M/M sex.

Good luck!

 

[Snapquick]

Up Date fro Snapquick

My wife is aware of my leanings toward being bi and knows that I have tried it in the past. I am very safe and require a condom that I provide. My ultimate hope is for her to use a LARGE strap-on with me while a "friend" participates as well. Please continue giving advice...it has been helpful!

 

[SweetErika]

My wife is aware of my leanings toward being bi and knows that I have tried it in the past. I am very safe and require a condom that I provide. My ultimate hope is for her to use a LARGE strap-on with me while a "friend" participates as well. Please continue giving advice...it has been helpful!

But your wife doesn't know you're screwing around with men currently/recently? Have you told her you identify as bi, not just that you have bi leanings?

I may be misunderstanding, but it sounds like you've only told your wife part of the truth and you're outright lying to, and cheating on, her by not telling her the full story and what you've been up to with other people recently/currently. That is, unless you two have explicitly agreed that you can fuck other people without telling her.

It's nice that you're using condoms for sex. Are you using them for oral sex, too? Do you ever have genital-to-genital contact or kiss other people (or let them put their mouth on you anywhere)? ALL of these things put you, and hence your wife, at risk for diseases and infections. Even using condoms for oral and penetration doesn't mean you're not at risk, since condoms can slip off and break. Simply kissing and having someone's genital area touch your genital area puts you at risk for herpes and genital warts.

If your wife doesn't know you've been screwing around, I don't think you should tell her because it'll likely do more harm than good. I DO think you should be tested for everything possible (men aren't tested for HPV/genital warts) while you abstain from playing with other people, and then start fresh with your wife. Of course if you test positive for something, you'll have to tell her that so she can be treated.

But when you start fresh, be honest about your sexuality, needs and desires. Figure out a way to proceed that works for both of you, whether that's her doing more anal with you or threesomes or you pursuing men on your own while following the rules you've set with her. While she may be surprised, she'll work through it if she loves and accepts you for who you are; if your relationship is solid, you'll be able to work something that works for both of you out. And if you truly love and respect her, you will want her to be able to decide whether or not she wants to accept the risks of an open relationship.

I've found that while it can be terribly difficult to be completely honest about my sexuality, needs and wants, every single time I've just sucked up the fear and told my husband the whole truth, he's rewarded me with acceptance and generosity. We always work something that works well for both of us out in the end, and it always brings us much closer. Honesty/openness is a hell of a lot better than living with the knowledge that you're withholding the truth, failing to be authentic and disrespecting and endangering your partner without their consent.

Good luck!