Too Much Anal Play?

[Cardinal]

I’ve always enjoyed anal play, even though it’s always been solo play. I have a variety of toys that I play with and I really like the idea of stretching myself enough to take larger toys. I love the feeling of my dildos and plugs so here is my How To question; I have an inflatable dildo that I’ll usually use first to get me comfortable and a little stretched because then I like to use my large glass plug. I can’t use the plug without a good stretching first. I’ll leave the glass plug in for a while often doing things around the house because it’s the bulb is big enough that it won’t (can’t) fall out and that is quiet an experience! Then I have a tapered dildo that I love fucking and it’s pretty easy as the third toy of the afternoon. As much as I love the feelings during play it’s the after that I’m not sure about.
How can I work myself up to something really big and deep like some of the online videos? The day after a good play session my hole is pretty sore and swollen, I assume this is normal although it’s pretty uncomfortable and makes going to the bathroom actually uncomfortable. Does this mean I’m pushing myself too fast? Does everyone feel like that the next day? I’m aware of the dangers and I’ve always stopped if there is blood.
I just don’t know if I’m doing it right to really stretch me and gape me, and if I get to that point (I assume a lot of fun along the way) how permanent is the stretch or gape? I assume I’ll have to keep up the activity.

Thank you in advance for reading this far and the advice.

 

[EmilyMiller]

You have to realize that those on-line performers are using alkyl nitrites (colloquially poppers) which relax smooth muscles (as well as creating a feeling of euphoria via vasodilation). If you are bleeding, you are pushing yourself too hard. Anal toys can damage you and need to be treated with respect. I say that as someone who used to use them often.

 

[EmilyMiller]

May I ask? Do you find large insertions pleasureful, or is it more the psychological idea / sense of achievement? There is a happy medium. I am kinda goal oriented and wanted to try fisting with my then gf. To set context, she has small hands - I never aspired to a male partner doing the same.

I enjoy largish but plugs, but only largish. The crazy insertions you see on-line are not for me. Pleasantly full as a prelude to anal or to give vaginal another dimesuon is as far as I go in my dotage (aka thirties).

If you have a need for crazy size, please be careful and work up to it. You can end up needing surgery. And do you really want to have to explain to a medic?

 

[liliput1]

May I ask? Do you find large insertions pleasureful, or is it more the psychological idea / sense of achievement? There is a happy medium. I am kinda goal oriented and wanted to try fisting with my then gf. To set context, she has small hands - I never aspired to a male partner doing the same.

Emily, I know you know a ton but one of the details you may or may not be aware of is that just prior to climax, the blood flow in and around the prostate increases, causing engorgement not unlike an erection. So the back pressure of encountering a foreign object is akin to a particularly skilled partner using their fingers strategically, or I suspect, an entire hand. You need either a moderately sized foreign object or one specific for g-spot play for that to happen.

Beyond that point I suspect it's down just to taste, but up to that point it's definitely mechanical as well.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Emily, I know you know a ton but one of the details you may or may not be aware of is that just prior to climax, the blood flow in and around the prostate increases, causing engorgement not unlike an erection. So the back pressure of encountering a foreign object is akin to a particularly skilled partner using their fingers strategically, or I suspect, an entire hand. You need either a moderately sized foreign object or one specific for g-spot play for that to happen.

Beyond that point I suspect it's down just to taste, but up to that point it's definitely mechanical as well.

Yeah - not anatomically qualified to comment

 

[liliput1]

Yeah - not anatomically qualified to comment

Well, from some of your stories and your authorial comments I wasn't sure how much science you'd done on that half of the population.

I don't know if your current lab partner would be amenable to such a collaboration...

 

[liliput1]

If you are bleeding, you are pushing yourself too hard. Anal toys can damage you and need to be treated with respect. I say that as someone who used to use them often.

Agreed. First and foremost, slow your roll, journey vs destination blah blah blah. And also a friend told me that raw aloe (taken straight from the plant, not bottled with with things like alcohol in it) is good aftercare for ameliorating minor indiscretions. Get yerself a plant.

But it's a bandaid and treat it as such. GLHF.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I don't know if your current lab partner would be amenable to such a collaboration...

Not in the lab any longer

My SO doesn’t mind a finger or a thin vibrator once in a while, but no interest in experimenting beyond that; which is fine by me. Male anal play is not a big thing for us.

 

[liliput1]

Not in the lab any longer

My SO doesn’t mind a finger or a thin vibrator once in a while, but no interest in experimenting beyond that; which is fine by me. Male anal play is not a big thing for us.

It's only supposed to be performative if that's your actual kink.

World would be a better place if more of us remembered that consistently.

 

[Cardinal]

You have to realize that those on-line performers are using alkyl nitrites (colloquially poppers) which relax smooth muscles (as well as creating a feeling of euphoria via vasodilation). If you are bleeding, you are pushing yourself too hard. Anal toys can damage you and need to be treated with respect. I say that as someone who used to use them often.

This is great information I had no idea about the poppers and yes I’ve only seen blood once or a twice and I know it’s because I didn’t take my time.

 

[Cardinal]

May I ask? Do you find large insertions pleasureful, or is it more the psychological idea / sense of achievement? There is a happy medium. I am kinda goal oriented and wanted to try fisting with my then gf. To set context, she has small hands - I never aspired to a male partner doing the same.

I enjoy largish but plugs, but only largish. The crazy insertions you see on-line are not for me. Pleasantly full as a prelude to anal or to give vaginal another dimesuon is as far as I go in my dotage (aka thirties).

If you have a need for crazy size, please be careful and work up to it. You can end up needing surgery. And do you really want to have to explain to a medic?

Excellent question, I definitely do enjoy the stretch, and although the toys may be big in my mind it’s nothing like I see online. My plug is probably “largeist” but not huge and it is enjoyable.
But I do still want a stretch so I’m a little loose, I know that sounds strange.
Your experience and advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[Cardinal]

Agreed. First and foremost, slow your roll, journey vs destination blah blah blah. And also a friend told me that raw aloe (taken straight from the plant, not bottled with with things like alcohol in it) is good aftercare for ameliorating minor indiscretions. Get yerself a plant.

But it's a bandaid and treat it as such. GLHF.

I’m enjoying the journey for sure and the advice offered here is appreciated