Books/websites/resources for newbies?

[CutieMouse]

*squeals, grabs a diet coke, and prepares to spend a few hours geeking out on Rebecca's link*

 

[serijules]

Note Re : Different Loving

Hated it !!! It was like looking for answers that never existed with constant interjections of Mr & Mrs Perfect D/s giving examples on how the better half do it and always get it right.

I agree. I am not as fond of the Brames writing as a lot of people seem to be.

 

[StormMaster]

I am offering up the Society for Human Sexuality as my contribution to this thread. As well as a healthy broader perspective of sexuality as opposed to keeping everything strictly BDSM orientated it has a free online book, A New Look at Sex. Outside of covering mechanics this site has a Contributed Documents with different perspectives on tantra, polyamory, bdsm, oral sex, sex positions..........

Nice addition. Think I will follow CutieMouse's example

Regards,
SM

 

[Hisbabydoll26]

Good thread Hbd. I had been out of D/s for a long time (over 20 years) mainly due to getting married to the woman of my dreams and the fear that she might think less of me if she knew about my .... proclivities.

Once I did finally let it be known, our resulting discussion seriously deepened our relationship (I wouldn't have believed that possible but it was). Anyway, I would gladly PM you a copy of our contract if you thought it might help.

More on point possibly, the link you gave in the quote above correctly states the "responsibility" a Dom takes for the sub's sexual needs. Not many reference places I found did that justice. However, note that I am not nearly as experienced as many on here (like Evil_Geoff) especially having avoided this in my relationship as long as I did.

Best wishes,
SM

SM: I can say I was scared to death to mention anything but found I was dropping hints here and there that weren't really getting picked up. I'm glad I trusted my guy enough to say something and to be careful with something that could easily crush me if he took it wrong. It's weird how you think you have something wonderful only to realize you have only scratched the surface. I never want to get to a point where things are simply habit and can say although I would have fought to the death to say that we hadn't reached that point...maybe we had because I have never felt so able to really let go.

I would apprecitate you sharing the contract. Thank you. I am kind of grabbing all the information I can so we can go over things and discuss what will and what won't work for us. I know that may change as we go along but it's nice to have options and different perspectives to help.

As to storms...be careful there in Texas...I've heard they have been pretty wicked lately.

 

[Hisbabydoll26]

I am offering up the Society for Human Sexuality as my contribution to this thread. As well as a healthy broader perspective of sexuality as opposed to keeping everything strictly BDSM orientated it has a free online book, A New Look at Sex. Outside of covering mechanics this site has a Contributed Documents with different perspectives on tantra, polyamory, bdsm, oral sex, sex positions..........

There are Archives that cover the following....

* Activism Archive
* BDSM Archive
* Body Modification Archive
* Fetishes Archive
* GLB Archive
* Polyamory Archive
* General Sexuality Archive
* Tantra Archive
* Transgenderism Archive

As far as I am concerned one never remains an Island on this journey. The more you learn the better . Especially so that which is not immediate to perceived ideals within kink and fetish pursuits.

I can feel a rant coming on : resist resist resist laughs :

I will say BDSM techniques and play never once stumped me , relationships however ..............

Note Re : Different Loving

Hated it !!! It was like looking for answers that never existed with constant interjections of Mr & Mrs Perfect D/s giving examples on how the better half do it and always get it right.

Thank you for the link and your very honest opinion on Different Loving. Sometimes I have to remind myself that just because someone says something (usually someone it authority) doesn't make it law, and it doesn't mean it's an educated intelligent statement. I think somewhere growing up I just thought if someone in charge said something, it must be so. Thankfully I've learned otherwise..but sometimes old habits are hard to break. I think it's good to keep in check where exactly information is coming from so as not to go down the wrong path.

 

[StormMaster]

SM: I can say I was scared to death to mention anything but found I was dropping hints here and there that weren't really getting picked up. I'm glad I trusted my guy enough to say something and to be careful with something that could easily crush me if he took it wrong. It's weird how you think you have something wonderful only to realize you have only scratched the surface. I never want to get to a point where things are simply habit and can say although I would have fought to the death to say that we hadn't reached that point...maybe we had because I have never felt so able to really let go.

I would apprecitate you sharing the contract. Thank you. I am kind of grabbing all the information I can so we can go over things and discuss what will and what won't work for us. I know that may change as we go along but it's nice to have options and different perspectives to help.

As to storms...be careful there in Texas...I've heard they have been pretty wicked lately.

Sent in text format. If you would like a word version of the file PM me with an email adress and I will send it.

Best !

SM

 

[Toa_lin]

GEOFF! I'm surprised at you, I just discovered your list wasn't even complete by your own standards.... *shakes head* You have the New Topping Book, but what if she wanted to check out the New Bottoming Book for herself?

(/mini-hijack and poking fun at Geoff mixed with some small usefull information)

 

[Hisbabydoll26]

Evil_Geoff - all of your info has kept me quite busy.

As a result I found a checklist on one of the sites that I really liked. I've seen many checklists but I like this one because it's online and can be completed and then printed out.

http://www.thebrc.net/check_list/default.htm

I'm not sure we will use this but do think it's a great way to spark honest conversation.