SensualGent69
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Boudoir Bloopers
- Thread starter LibraryVixen
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Great Thread! Thanks for starting it
back in college.....eating a coed, she liked her legs up in the air; she held them as I went down. She liked her thighs bitten too, just little nips..guess I nipped just as she was coming, she lost control of one leg...it flew out and her heel went to that soft spot just above my eye...eight stiches Never had a return with her!
LadyVer
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LibraryVixen
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Thanks VA Boy for that out loud belly laugh I just inflicted on my coworkers!
And kudos to Agedmac for being our first injury that required stitches!!
And kudos to Agedmac for being our first injury that required stitches!!
IhateClowns
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My wife and I decided to spice things up one time by watching porn prior to engaging in the act ourselves. It went pretty well and we were both getting heated. I made a suggestion that we try doing what they do in the movie minus anything that we both are no comfortable with. To my surprise at the time she agreed.
Things started off pretty normal. Some kissing and tit play. Then I folllowed the guy on screen and went down on her for a while. Then she did the same to me and things were going along quite well. That is when the aerobics started kicking in.
Next thing he is fucking her from behind and her foot is on top of a counter. So here we are me being 6'5 and her being 5'10 trying to imitate what is happening. Her leg is hoisted up onto the bedside table and I am behind her spending 10 minutes figuring out the angle for point of entry.
By the time we had that down they "actors" had already switched positions and she was riding him cowgirl with girl feet flat on the bed. So like a game of twister we quickly changed positions. She got into the position. I slid in and after two bounces they were now standing with the girl pressed against a wall and her legs straddling him as he hed her up.
I looked at my wife and simpley said keep riding.
Things started off pretty normal. Some kissing and tit play. Then I folllowed the guy on screen and went down on her for a while. Then she did the same to me and things were going along quite well. That is when the aerobics started kicking in.
Next thing he is fucking her from behind and her foot is on top of a counter. So here we are me being 6'5 and her being 5'10 trying to imitate what is happening. Her leg is hoisted up onto the bedside table and I am behind her spending 10 minutes figuring out the angle for point of entry.
By the time we had that down they "actors" had already switched positions and she was riding him cowgirl with girl feet flat on the bed. So like a game of twister we quickly changed positions. She got into the position. I slid in and after two bounces they were now standing with the girl pressed against a wall and her legs straddling him as he hed her up.
I looked at my wife and simpley said keep riding.
LibraryVixen
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SherlockianMan
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Just after high school, my GF of the time was house/dog sitting for some family members. She was still living with her parents at this time, so this was the perfect opportunity for us to get some private time together.
We did some fooling around on the couch. Plenty of heavy petting turning into full on groping. She went down on me while I fingered her for several minutes before we went up to the bedroom.
The sex was pretty hot and rough, very good, but I we didn't have a condom, so I had to pull out. The idea of shooting my load all over her was incredibly hot after an already hot time. Apparently it was too hot.
That night I shot the largest load I've ever let out. I had just pulled out when the first shot flew way over her head, covering the wall and pillow. I didn't notice right away, since the second and third blasts came pretty quickly after. All over her, all over the bed. There was cum everywhere.
It was only after I finished that I realized that I had cum all over the white sheets and pillow case that belonged to the people she was house sitting for.
We tried to get them clean, but it became pretty clear they would be stained so we ended up having to rush out and try to find matching sheets to buy to replace the ones we messed up.
We did some fooling around on the couch. Plenty of heavy petting turning into full on groping. She went down on me while I fingered her for several minutes before we went up to the bedroom.
The sex was pretty hot and rough, very good, but I we didn't have a condom, so I had to pull out. The idea of shooting my load all over her was incredibly hot after an already hot time. Apparently it was too hot.
That night I shot the largest load I've ever let out. I had just pulled out when the first shot flew way over her head, covering the wall and pillow. I didn't notice right away, since the second and third blasts came pretty quickly after. All over her, all over the bed. There was cum everywhere.
It was only after I finished that I realized that I had cum all over the white sheets and pillow case that belonged to the people she was house sitting for.
We tried to get them clean, but it became pretty clear they would be stained so we ended up having to rush out and try to find matching sheets to buy to replace the ones we messed up.
LadyVer
Definitely not a mouse
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Just after high school, my GF of the time was house/dog sitting for some family members. She was still living with her parents at this time, so this was the perfect opportunity for us to get some private time together.
We did some fooling around on the couch. Plenty of heavy petting turning into full on groping. She went down on me while I fingered her for several minutes before we went up to the bedroom.
The sex was pretty hot and rough, very good, but I we didn't have a condom, so I had to pull out. The idea of shooting my load all over her was incredibly hot after an already hot time. Apparently it was too hot.
That night I shot the largest load I've ever let out. I had just pulled out when the first shot flew way over her head, covering the wall and pillow. I didn't notice right away, since the second and third blasts came pretty quickly after. All over her, all over the bed. There was cum everywhere.
It was only after I finished that I realized that I had cum all over the white sheets and pillow case that belonged to the people she was house sitting for.
We tried to get them clean, but it became pretty clear they would be stained so we ended up having to rush out and try to find matching sheets to buy to replace the ones we messed up.
I love blooper stories!
Siren_Smiles
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Stitches
Not my blooper but too good not to share.
I was a nanny in college for 3 little girls whose parents were both doctors. Mom came home after an overnight ER shift giggling like crazy. Once the girls were off to school, I asked what was so funny and she explained that a couple came in for some rather interesting injuries. The wife had dozens of puncture wounds to the top of her head and the husband had lacerations on his penis, requiring stitches and a urologist.
Apparently, it was their anniversary and the wife was giving hubby a blow job at the dinner table when she went into a grand mal seizure. Hubby stabbed her in the head with his fork repeatedly trying to get her to release his member from her mouth.
Not my blooper but too good not to share.
I was a nanny in college for 3 little girls whose parents were both doctors. Mom came home after an overnight ER shift giggling like crazy. Once the girls were off to school, I asked what was so funny and she explained that a couple came in for some rather interesting injuries. The wife had dozens of puncture wounds to the top of her head and the husband had lacerations on his penis, requiring stitches and a urologist.
Apparently, it was their anniversary and the wife was giving hubby a blow job at the dinner table when she went into a grand mal seizure. Hubby stabbed her in the head with his fork repeatedly trying to get her to release his member from her mouth.
weespanner
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Last edited:
L8tnIt
... Comes out at night
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maybe not as good, but to try and contribute to a great thread...
The first time I got to have sex with the woman who is now my Wife & the mother of my Daughter, it was the release of years-upon-years worth of built-up sexual tension... So when we finally went at each other, it was love-making on a vicious and primal level. When I say vicious, I am including how she ran her fingernails down the length of my back & broke skin!
We did this about an hour before I had to go to work, which was bouncing a local night spot.
I went to work, and she hung around as a patron of the establishment I was bouncing. Halfway through my shift for the night, she hears the song Crazy Bitch by BuckCherry for the first time. I look at her & move my mouth to sing along as the lyrics ...And scratches all down my back and... played from across the room.
When it sank in about .07 seconds later, she turned sooooooo red that a rosebud would look pale!
After that, I had to program that song at that part as her specific ringtone for the next two years.
The first time I got to have sex with the woman who is now my Wife & the mother of my Daughter, it was the release of years-upon-years worth of built-up sexual tension... So when we finally went at each other, it was love-making on a vicious and primal level. When I say vicious, I am including how she ran her fingernails down the length of my back & broke skin!
We did this about an hour before I had to go to work, which was bouncing a local night spot.
I went to work, and she hung around as a patron of the establishment I was bouncing. Halfway through my shift for the night, she hears the song Crazy Bitch by BuckCherry for the first time. I look at her & move my mouth to sing along as the lyrics ...And scratches all down my back and... played from across the room.
When it sank in about .07 seconds later, she turned sooooooo red that a rosebud would look pale!
After that, I had to program that song at that part as her specific ringtone for the next two years.
heartoftexasgrl
Total Pain in the Ass
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I turned my head once at the EXACT wrong moment and ended up with an earful of semen. It was one of the most disgusting feelings of my life. I had to stand with the shower pouring directly into my ear to get it out.
It wasn't funny at the time (well, he thought it was), but looking back now it was pretty hilarious.
It wasn't funny at the time (well, he thought it was), but looking back now it was pretty hilarious.
PanamaJaxxx
Ties Are Handy Things
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During my college days and rendezvous at the local hot sheet motel near campus I was out one night and met up with this great girl. We laughed, we danced, we drank and yes...ended the night as the notell motel.
We were pretty buzzed and in the heat of passion and enough multiple positions that would make a troup of Chinese acrobats proud somehow in one of the position changes I lost my balance and began free falling backwards out of bed.
In my cat like efforts to twist around and control the fall...it was halted when my face abruptly smacked against the night stand and I broke my jaw.
As far as my parent knew I slipped on a bar of soap...but of course my friends were told the complete real story...it make eating through a straw at least almost bearable all those long weeks.
Eventually the girl and I could not pass each other on campus without her yelling out hey Smiley and us both cracking up.
Yes there were a few more rendezvous...but that damn night stand was moved out of the playing field.
We were pretty buzzed and in the heat of passion and enough multiple positions that would make a troup of Chinese acrobats proud somehow in one of the position changes I lost my balance and began free falling backwards out of bed.
In my cat like efforts to twist around and control the fall...it was halted when my face abruptly smacked against the night stand and I broke my jaw.
As far as my parent knew I slipped on a bar of soap...but of course my friends were told the complete real story...it make eating through a straw at least almost bearable all those long weeks.
Eventually the girl and I could not pass each other on campus without her yelling out hey Smiley and us both cracking up.
Yes there were a few more rendezvous...but that damn night stand was moved out of the playing field.
LibraryVixen
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Now that's sexy. Thanks for sharing!
LibraryVixen
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I've been away for a bit. Just getting caught up on these posts. They're awesome!!! Great laughs for my Tuesday morning.
LadyVer
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I've been away for a bit. Just getting caught up on these posts. They're awesome!!! Great laughs for my Tuesday morning.
Welcome back! This is my favorite thread!
LibraryVixen
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Aww thanks! And thanks for keeping it going and bumping it for me while I was away.I've been away for a bit. Just getting caught up on these posts. They're awesome!!! Great laughs for my Tuesday morning.
Welcome back! This is my favorite thread!
LadyVer
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Aww thanks! And thanks for keeping it going and bumping it for me while I was away.
You're welcome, LV!
LadyVer
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I just remembered another story. Many years ago I was visiting my boyfriend at his parents' house.My bf and I were in his bedroom with the door shut, for a reason. We were both naked and having great sex. As I was giving my bf a blow job, his dad walks in without knocking. I don't know who was more embarrassed, his dad or me. His dad stood there in disbelief and then turned around and walked out without saying anything, thankfully. For about the next couple of weeks when I saw either parent, my face would turn red. The end.
LibraryVixen
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Hahahahahahha!! Awkward. Thankfully I've never been caught by a parent (almost was). I have, however, walked in on my patents. -_-
LibraryVixen
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Well I happened again...a masturbation mishap. I got caught!! Last night the spousal unit decided to head to bed early. I was in another room and took my chance to have a little naughty fun...which you know involves Lit. I'd been chatting with a guy I met from here all day and was very aroused and wet. As I was working on orgasm #3 the door opened and in walked the husband! Yikes!! Apparently he couldn't get to sleep so he got up to watch election coverage without me realizing it and I was getting too loud...making him uncomfortable hearing it. LOL Things got awkward. Hahahaha
