calling all transgendered

[lincspoacher]

as subject

Ladies .. good morning from a very blustery UK ...

I think to a certain extent we all sometimes "beat ourselves up" about how we look or about how we are perceived by others and the question "What does He/She see in me" ? .. is never far from the surface.

I know it's something which I'm guilty of doing.

As a straight man,I can only speak from my own perspective .. I've found that just being oneself,being clean,making an effort with one's appearance etc,being totally honest,being prepared to compromise and always remembering to treat others as you would have them treat you,goes a long way to laying firm foundations for any relationship .. TG or otherwise ... after all,there's no real difference.

Besides which .. physical looks aren't the be-all & end-all (or I probably wouldn't have had any relationships) ..

Once one gets beyond the "physical" .. be that external "plumbing" or looks in general .. then one can begin to concentrate on the inner person .. and to my mind that's the most interesting and worthwhile part of all .. to discover and learn what's going on in the mind & heart of the one you love.

Anyway,for what it's worth .. that was my Two penn'orth ....

Bye for now,

Poacher.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Ladies .. good morning from a very blustery UK ...

I think to a certain extent we all sometimes "beat ourselves up" about how we look or about how we are perceived by others and the question "What does He/She see in me" ? .. is never far from the surface.

I know it's something which I'm guilty of doing.

As a straight man,I can only speak from my own perspective .. I've found that just being oneself,being clean,making an effort with one's appearance etc,being totally honest,being prepared to compromise and always remembering to treat others as you would have them treat you,goes a long way to laying firm foundations for any relationship .. TG or otherwise ... after all,there's no real difference.

Besides which .. physical looks aren't the be-all & end-all (or I probably wouldn't have had any relationships) ..

Once one gets beyond the "physical" .. be that external "plumbing" or looks in general .. then one can begin to concentrate on the inner person .. and to my mind that's the most interesting and worthwhile part of all .. to discover and learn what's going on in the mind & heart of the one you love.

Anyway,for what it's worth .. that was my Two penn'orth ....

Bye for now,

Poacher.

Poacher To embrace all that is a loved one is truly magical. Grin...particularly if that individual is raging on hormones. Life is funny, no matter how introspective we can be, there is always another layer underneath that which we just have uncovered leaving us all very mysterious indeed. When one is in an "acceptance" frame of mind, this is beguiling and wonderous.
Gianna

 

[Gi_Venus]

Bump! cachunga!

 

[Tymeless]

Bump! cachunga!

2nd that!

 

[leylagirl4u]

2nd that!

Sorry, but I have not been on much lately. Work hours are driving me nuts.

 

[leylagirl4u]

I'm a big supporter of the Transgender community, one of my pals growing up was an MTF transsexual and we're still cool to this day.

I knew a guy in my junior year. He never "dressed out" for gym. Someone told me he had a medical condition that prevented that. I later found out that "Jessie" was also "Jasmine". I had seen pictures of both of them, but never together.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Sorry, but I have not been on much lately. Work hours are driving me nuts.

Leyla! *big squeeze* Its okay my life is crazy too.

 

[leylagirl4u]

Ladies .. good morning from a very blustery UK ...

I think to a certain extent we all sometimes "beat ourselves up" about how we look or about how we are perceived by others and the question "What does He/She see in me" ? .. is never far from the surface.

I know it's something which I'm guilty of doing.

As a straight man,I can only speak from my own perspective .. I've found that just being oneself,being clean,making an effort with one's appearance etc,being totally honest,being prepared to compromise and always remembering to treat others as you would have them treat you,goes a long way to laying firm foundations for any relationship .. TG or otherwise ... after all,there's no real difference.

Besides which .. physical looks aren't the be-all & end-all (or I probably wouldn't have had any relationships) ..

Once one gets beyond the "physical" .. be that external "plumbing" or looks in general .. then one can begin to concentrate on the inner person .. and to my mind that's the most interesting and worthwhile part of all .. to discover and learn what's going on in the mind & heart of the one you love.

Anyway,for what it's worth .. that was my Two penn'orth ....

Bye for now,

Poacher.

Very good point. A person can "look like a million" on the outside and be so rotten on the inside that they reak and polute everyone around them.

 

[Tymeless]

Very good point. A person can "look like a million" on the outside and be so rotten on the inside that they reak and polute everyone around them.

That is so freaking true?

 

[leylagirl4u]

I am bi-sexual, and on and off have considered that I might be gender-confused in some way. Back in the mid 1990's I tried cross-dressing, and even though it was a stressful event (I was probably butt-ugly, though some said I looked good) it was an erotic experience for me. There have been times that I *felt* feminine, but didn't come close to looking femine. Currently I look pretty strong, after having been working on our acerage this spring. The wife loves it, but deep down I feel sort of sad. Sad that a part of me has been taken away and replaced by muscle. I love being aggressive with my wife, and I'm an aggressive person in general, but would love if the right person (or my wife, if she every metamorphed somehow) to dominate me. I'm going bald, so that too makes me feel like my chance of ever becoming a woman is gone. Not saying that I have always wanted to become a woman, but I have entertained that I might be happier that way. We just had our first child, so at the moment I'm juggling thoughts of expressing my feminine side, and "acting like a daddy". I love my child, so it's definitely not him (or my wife).

I think you have a good understanding of what some of us are going through as we contemplate and continue transition. I would have never gotten where I am without my male side, but at the same time, I would have dumped it in a heartbeat to have been born female.

 

[Tymeless]

I think you have a good understanding of what some of us are going through as we contemplate and continue transition. I would have never gotten where I am without my male side, but at the same time, I would have dumped it in a heartbeat to have been born female.

THAT IS SO FREAKING TRUE. My male side is whats getting me through this transition but to be born or magically changed to a female i'd dump everything about my maleness away in a heartbeat.

 

[Star of Penumbra]

I'm not transgender, but I thought I was for a long time. I remember wanting to be female when I was as young as seven or eight. Throughout most of my teenage years I thought about it a lot. Finally, about a year or so ago (I'm almost 25) I came to terms with being male physically. I still think about it on occasion, though. I've considered crossdressing, but I know I have no chance at all to pass, and publicly crossdressing in Kansas is likely to get you verbally harassed, at best (Kansas is not TECHNICALLY a part of the Bible Belt, but it's pretty damn close). I hope to be able to move to the west coast in the next few years, that being only one of the reasons.

Mentally... I seem to be pretty androgynous mentally. People frequently mistake me for female when dealing with me in a text-only format (message boards, chat rooms, etc.) That doesn't bother me.

I don't really have any point to make, I'm just putting a few thoughts into words. I guess I sympathise with transgender people so strongly because I thought I was TG myself for such a long time.

 

[Tymeless]

I'm not transgender, but I thought I was for a long time. I remember wanting to be female when I was as young as seven or eight. Throughout most of my teenage years I thought about it a lot. Finally, about a year or so ago (I'm almost 25) I came to terms with being male physically. I still think about it on occasion, though. I've considered crossdressing, but I know I have no chance at all to pass, and publicly crossdressing in Kansas is likely to get you verbally harassed, at best (Kansas is not TECHNICALLY a part of the Bible Belt, but it's pretty damn close). I hope to be able to move to the west coast in the next few years, that being only one of the reasons.

Mentally... I seem to be pretty androgynous mentally. People frequently mistake me for female when dealing with me in a text-only format (message boards, chat rooms, etc.) That doesn't bother me.

I don't really have any point to make, I'm just putting a few thoughts into words. I guess I sympathise with transgender people so strongly because I thought I was TG myself for such a long time.

well as long as you embrace yourself and realize its part of you you'll be fine in life. If you ever change your mind there is a support group here online waiting for you to help you through the difficult process.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Here is an information link for those who would like to be more informed about transexuality Note the suicide rate for those under thirty, I wonder what it is for the whole spectrum of ages?
http://www.transsexual.org/what.html

As you can see it is important to seek support, to have a network in place, my own experience is that if I did not have some close friends supporting me in this, I would be history a statistic. The thought of having to live as a male, or got back to living as a male is unbearable.
There are sources for seeking help. One such is the national organization of PFLAG run a search for this and you can get their main site, there you can find connections to put you in touch with support or support resources(lists of therapists, support groups ect.). Or I will personally run the search for you, it make take a little longer that way though. Or email me, my email link is in my profile.
Gianna

 

[Tymeless]

Here is an information link for those who would like to be more informed about transexuality Note the suicide rate for those under thirty, I wonder what it is for the whole spectrum of ages?
http://www.transsexual.org/what.html

As you can see it is important to seek support, to have a network in place, my own experience is that if I did not have some close friends supporting me in this, I would be history a statistic. The thought of having to live as a male, or got back to living as a male is unbearable.
There are sources for seeking help. One such is the national organization of PFLAG run a search for this and you can get their main site, there you can find connections to put you in touch with support or support resources(lists of therapists, support groups ect.). Or I will personally run the search for you, it make take a little longer that way though. Or email me, my email link is in my profile.
Gianna

thanks for the info Gianna i hope it helps someone!

 

[Phoenix3973]

Ok, for introductions:

34 yo MTF pre-everything

In terms of sexuality, I lean more towards gay with men, but I suppose that means that I am straight once I take the final plunge, which I still haven't decided to do yet. Now, there are certain things that I definitely enjoy doing like getting a pedicure/ manicure, painting my nails, shaving everywhere , and pretty much being stealth about my clothes because I live in a military town and don't want to deal with someone outing me and ruining a future for myself. I have talked to a few people about my situation and their support is a true gift in coming to terms with myself, but just tonight I had a major challenge and instead of outing myself, chose to lie. I feel really relieved about it because afterwards the guy thought that it was funny about my clear nail polish on my fingernails and asked me if these "little girl" sunglasses were mine. I did not feel too good afterward, but I guess some people are made to be assholes.

Anyway, just thought that I would introduce myself to these forums and maybe some day I will get the courage to post my stories alongside of this thread as well. Hugs to everyone and I hope that the week is good for the rest of you.

Stephanie

 

[Gi_Venus]

Ok, for introductions:

34 yo MTF pre-everything

In terms of sexuality, I lean more towards gay with men, but I suppose that means that I am straight once I take the final plunge, which I still haven't decided to do yet. Now, there are certain things that I definitely enjoy doing like getting a pedicure/ manicure, painting my nails, shaving everywhere , and pretty much being stealth about my clothes because I live in a military town and don't want to deal with someone outing me and ruining a future for myself. I have talked to a few people about my situation and their support is a true gift in coming to terms with myself, but just tonight I had a major challenge and instead of outing myself, chose to lie. I feel really relieved about it because afterwards the guy thought that it was funny about my clear nail polish on my fingernails and asked me if these "little girl" sunglasses were mine. I did not feel too good afterward, but I guess some people are made to be assholes.

Anyway, just thought that I would introduce myself to these forums and maybe some day I will get the courage to post my stories alongside of this thread as well. Hugs to everyone and I hope that the week is good for the rest of you.

Stephanie

Hi Stephanie! *hug* Welcome. Please do share. By all means do seek support in any way you can. Many of us transgendered particularly the transexuals are at risk. One thing my therapist has shared with me is that most girls he has helped have an easier time of it if they are open about their transition....however there are limitations in acceptance by the people around us.
Men in particular are dangerous, more likely to act violently towards us. Do be careful. A post op friend of mine advised me that we have to think of ourselves....and ignore the impressions and reactions of others for the reality will be that of disapproval until we can pass, we will look different to others and therefore will get reactions negative and otherwise.
Gianna

 

[Tymeless]

Hi Stephanie! *hug* Welcome. Please do share. By all means do seek support in any way you can. Many of us transgendered particularly the transexuals are at risk. One thing my therapist has shared with me is that most girls he has helped have an easier time of it if they are open about their transition....however there are limitations in acceptance by the people around us.
Men in particular are dangerous, more likely to act violently towards us. Do be careful. A post op friend of mine advised me that we have to think of ourselves....and ignore the impressions and reactions of others for the reality will be that of disapproval until we can pass, we will look different to others and therefore will get reactions negative and otherwise.
Gianna

i don't think i could of said it better myself.

 

[leylagirl4u]

i don't think i could of said it better myself.

I agree with you, Tymeless. We had a tgirl attacked here. I don't know all the details. I found her bleeding on the side of the road. When I got her to a hospital, the old doctor who noticed she still had ' it ' said he may as well finish the job someone else had forgotten to do and just ' cut it off '. Believe me, I got her out of there as quick as I could and took her to a doctor I knew was more tg friendly.

 

[Tymeless]

I agree with you, Tymeless. We had a tgirl attacked here. I don't know all the details. I found her bleeding on the side of the road. When I got her to a hospital, the old doctor who noticed she still had ' it ' said he may as well finish the job someone else had forgotten to do and just ' cut it off '. Believe me, I got her out of there as quick as I could and took her to a doctor I knew was more tg friendly.

wow thats sad.

 

[leylagirl4u]

wow thats sad.

I shudder to think what may have happened if I had left her there. A lot of police departments have no idea of how to deal with those who are transgendered. San Antonio and Austin have officers who have had training in the sensitivities of dealing with transgenders. As far as any others, I think it will be a while before they begin that type of program in the departments. I know of no EMTs who have had that type of training. I feel at some point, it will be a requirement for all emergency personnel to at least be exposed to the possibility they may encounter a person who is transgendered one day.

 

[Tymeless]

I shudder to think what may have happened if I had left her there. A lot of police departments have no idea of how to deal with those who are transgendered. San Antonio and Austin have officers who have had training in the sensitivities of dealing with transgenders. As far as any others, I think it will be a while before they begin that type of program in the departments. I know of no EMTs who have had that type of training. I feel at some point, it will be a requirement for all emergency personnel to at least be exposed to the possibility they may encounter a person who is transgendered one day.

They should be. Oh and the AMA has made it part of their rules that Trans be treated with the same quality and care as anyone else.

 

[Tymeless]

well everyone just checking up on how everyone is doing in their quest to femaledom or maledom

 

[Gi_Venus]

well everyone just checking up on how everyone is doing in their quest to femaledom or maledom

Check...lol a okay.

 

[Tymeless]

Check...lol a okay.

your always a okay in my book Gi