Can a Lesbian Love a good man?

[none2_none2]

I'm a lesbian (a dyke ) because this is who I am. Politically, culturally, emotionally, physically, mentally lesbian.

But what in essence does that mean?

Politically:
I assume that means you aren't a LCL -- Log Cabin Lesbian. You may be polar opposites from Mary Chaney, but she is as gay as the rest of us.

Culturally:
I assume being more aware of lesbian history & current events as well as gay topics in general. Do know that I met a lesbian who never realized she was lesbian until she was near 60'. She met a policewoman and fell in love. What was strange is that one typically hears that women in general have issues with men because they don't open up and talk to their female partners. However, this lady said after about 30 years she couldn't take it anymore that her husband would never shut up. Her partner is a woman of few words. Women wanting partners that aren't always "opening up" and talking about their feelings is something that you normally don't think about from the typical gender stereotypes.

Emotionally:
I get the attraction to members of the same sex, but when you throw in transgendered world, to me the whole gay/bi/str8 label gets really hard for me to grasp. There are some VERY effeminate men who have no desire to have a sex change. I find it difficult to be romantically interested in them. However, other gay men have no such issues. So if orientation is really about the brain, not the body. What exactly brain-wise would tell you the gender of a person? Some natal males have a huge urge to be females, but not as a gender identity but at a sexual fettish.

Physically:
I'm sorry but I don't get that one at all. I think I remember that some scientific study showed that lesbians have larger cochleas than straight women. (Yes I spelled it correctly this time!) (Heaven forbid the lesbian whose cochlea doesn't measure up.) Are lesbians missing that mysterious 13th pair of ribs that straight women supposedly have because Adam gave one pair to create women? (Sorry, I had to through that in as I was shocked that some people still think women have an extra pair of ribs as a result of the Genesis story.) I guess just like the gene theory, I don't buy physical differences. I don't see gay men & lesbians as some different creature. We are just regular people loving differently.

Mentally:
What would this be? Since you already stated emotionally, I assume this has to do with intellectual pursuits. I think over time (at least in western cultures), women of any preference has gotten away from the idea that her mind and her pursuits should somehow only be tied to her family. A woman (gay or str8) can be dedicated to having children and staying home to raise them. She can be 100% tied to her career. Or she can do a balancing act somehow doing both.

I'm not trying to argue, it is just with all the permutations out there, I find it harder to understand what being gay or lesbian means. For myself, I feel more like I'm 100% non-str8 than gay. I don't like the world bi be cause it typically seems to be a term used for having sex with anybody available -- not loving both genders. I think I am free to think this way because I'm in a relationship. Perhaps if I was single again, all the homosexual urges would come back full foce

 

[Etoile]

You're getting WAY too into this - reading too much into it, breaking it down too much. However...

Physically:
I'm sorry but I don't get that one at all. I think I remember that some scientific study showed that lesbians have larger cochleas than straight women. (Yes I spelled it correctly this time!) (Heaven forbid the lesbian whose cochlea doesn't measure up.) Are lesbians missing that mysterious 13th pair of ribs that straight women supposedly have because Adam gave one pair to create women? (Sorry, I had to through that in as I was shocked that some people still think women have an extra pair of ribs as a result of the Genesis story.) I guess just like the gene theory, I don't buy physical differences. I don't see gay men & lesbians as some different creature. We are just regular people loving differently.

Erm...I meant in terms of physical attraction.

 

[none2_none2]

You're getting WAY too into this - reading too much into it, breaking it down too much. However...

Erm...I meant in terms of physical attraction.

Thanks for the clarification.

I'm sorry for the as of late lesbian theme contemplations. I guess as the hormones go down with age, I don't quite obsess with sex like I used to. Instead I have time to contemplate the mysteries of the universe such as the essence of lesbianism.

I probably would have been a better person if I lived in a woman only world when I was younger. I could have skipped all those years of emotional neediness for another man. Plus no more sexual frenzies everytime a hairy man had hair exposed due to wearing shorts, no gloves, short sleeves, shirts with the top button not buttoned, 5 o'clock shadow. No more wondering if such a guy didn't have a belt on and bent over, would I see the line pointing to paradise... Why such irresistible beasts exist to torment my libido, I'll never know. Oh well, we all have our burdens to bear.

 

[androgEros]

Wow.....now what I expected to start. Wasn't looking for the conflict ladies I'd been kicking the idea around for awhile, so I thought I'd finally sit down and right it. I didn't expect to do this, but well I really wasn't thinking to far ahead. Always glad to have people talking though.

Don't regret it. No bloodshed here. Just women of different backgrounds, putting in individual thoughts. No one here has any right to censor what you write. Your story could hit a best-seller's list. Stories of women coming out as lesbian, late in life, go viral. I suppose it's not impossible for a lesbian to fall in love with a man. But if she is sexually attracted to him, then she is not a lesbian. She she is bi. This is why I prefer to be identified as a gynephile.

Hmm. Okay, I see that. It wasn't at all clear to me what you meant before. Fair enough. I don't feel there's a BIG difference, but I can see there is some difference.

Honestly, I think it's a third set of experiences. They didn't necessarily grow up male in the traditional sense, they grew up confused and different.

Very true. I'm probably not making perfect sense anyway. I'm in so much fucking pain right now, I can barely talk, let alone write.

IMO post op trans girls are a gender entirely apart from male and and female, therefore, exempt from traditional sexual orientation stereotypes. That warranted the inclusion of natal, in my previous statement.

okee.... I'm just gonna shut up now......

 

[John Doe]

Oh, yes... the great straight guy fantasy. It would be even better if there were two of them and they were both big titted blondes with strapon, huh?

I personally like a little reality in my role play. This thing falls apart from the get go. If a "lesbian" and a guy become "more than friends" she is not a lesbian, dude. Bi maybe, but she can't have relations with a man (emotionally or physically) and still meet the definition of being a lesbian. K?

Why are you so hostile?

 

[Night_Jasmine]

At the risk of sounding idiotic...but Etoile, Bets, what the heck is the scale thing you're discussing?

 

[Etoile]

At the risk of sounding idiotic...but Etoile, Bets, what the heck is the scale thing you're discussing?

Oh! The Kinsey scale was invented by researcher Alfred Kinsey, who was primarily active in the 1950s. He was famous for doing the first really big interview of the American people to find out their sexual habits. The scale ranges from 0 (completely heterosexual) to 6 (completely homosexual). If you google Kinsey scale you'll find more.

 

[Safe_Bet]

At the risk of sounding idiotic...but Etoile, Bets, what the heck is the scale thing you're discussing?

What the smart chick said!

Don't worry NJ, as long as you aren't one of those sick perverted people that like Johnny Depp , you can be a 6 1/2 like Amy and me!

Why are you so hostile?

Why are you always taking shots at me? Here! Maybe a picture will help you get it!

http://imageplaza.net/uploads/f0a93d9f09.jpg

 

[Etoile]

What the smart chick said!

Don't worry NJ, as long as you aren't one of those sick perverted people that like Johnny Depp , you can be a 6 1/2 like Amy and me!

Aww c'mon, everybody has somebody they'd go straight for! You gotta be imaginative! Who is it? Think of it as a challenge, what guy do you find pretty?

Why are you always taking shots at me? Here! Maybe a picture will help you get it!

http://imageplaza.net/uploads/f0a93d9f09.jpg

BWAHAHAHA

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Aww c'mon, everybody has somebody they'd go straight for! You gotta be imaginative! Who is it? Think of it as a challenge, what guy do you find pretty?

Blair Underwood.

 

[Night_Jasmine]

Guys are ICKY!!! I wouldn't go straight for any male...BLECH! lol

Ok, I have to go google this scale now to see where I fall.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Guys are ICKY!!! I wouldn't go straight for any male...BLECH! lol

Ok, I have to go google this scale now to see where I fall.

See, the problem here is that I cannot, in reality, picture myself having sex with Blair Underwood...or any other man. The only thing I know is that physically he's a fine specimen of a man....and then the thoughts stop there.

 

[Etoile]

See, the problem here is that I cannot, in reality, picture myself having sex with Blair Underwood...or any other man. The only thing I know is that physically he's a fine specimen of a man....and then the thoughts stop there.

Well, yes...that's the point! I think being unable to see that is sad...to be unable to appreciate the human form and say guys are icky. I'm not suggesting we would like their penises, just that there has to be some ability to appreciate the beauty of men. When I say "go straight for" I'm not talking about intercourse, just attractiveness...

 

[Freefall_mc]

double post

 

[Freefall_mc]

Oh lord, this thread just gave me a headache.

Any chance topic could be changed to the latest Kinsey research on the affects of anxiety elevating arrousal in a relatively significant number of the population? No?

Then maybe I'll just go read about heterosexual men having fetishes with blowup dolls sporting strap-ons, and swinging towards sadist monks.

 

[Etoile]

Yeah, it occurred to me that being gayer-than-thou isn't necessary. I'm a dyke, and that's that.

 

[Freefall_mc]

Yeah, it occurred to me that being gayer-than-thou isn't necessary. I'm a dyke, and that's that.

*looking around*
Who you talking to? 'Cause you just didn't call my post gay!

 

[Etoile]

*looking around*
Who you talking to? 'Cause you just didn't call my post gay!

The whole discussion.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Yeah, it occurred to me that being gayer-than-thou isn't necessary. I'm a dyke, and that's that.

NO! Cuz now I've got to ask what KIND of dyke are you?

Do you use lipstick, chapstick or have no idea what I'm talking about?

When you hear the words "leather belt" do you think of fashion accessories or power tools?


Hell, I've even got an applicable joke:

What is a CAT?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny Femme Lesbians in little fur coats.


What is a DOG?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss!
9. They go right to your crotch as soon as they meet you.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny Butch Lesbians in little fur coats


I'm putting this one here too, just cuz I think it's cute:

A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots of Vodka.
The bar tender says "had a tough day?"
The man replied "yeah I found out my little brother is gay".
The next day the same guy walks in to the bar again and this time orders 3 shots of Vodka.
The bartender says "another bad day?"
The man replied "yeah i just found out my older brother is gay".
The next day the same man walks in the bar and this time orders 5 shots of Vodka.
The bartender looked at him and said "Man doesn't anybody in your family like women?
The man then replied "yeah, My wife"

 

[Etoile]

Do you use lipstick, chapstick or have no idea what I'm talking about?

I guess chapstick, because I don't wear makeup, but I don't even wear chapstick, I'm kind of a no-stick.

When you hear the words "leather belt" do you think of fashion accessories or power tools?

Uh...I think of fetish.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I guess chapstick, because I don't wear makeup, but I don't even wear chapstick, I'm kind of a no-stick.


Uh...I think of fetish.

*Snerk* Woof, Woof!!!!

 

[infinity706]

I'm still confused. So, what about the two 'lesbians' I know that have long term boyfriends that they enjoy having sex with. Neither one claims to have any attraction to men, though, and think penises are ugly. Do they get a spot in the bi zone without lusting after guys?

 

[Etoile]

I'm still confused. So, what about the two 'lesbians' I know that have long term boyfriends that they enjoy having sex with. Neither one claims to have any attraction to men, though, and think penises are ugly. Do they get a spot in the bi zone without lusting after guys?

Wow. I'm in favor of people defining themselves as they wish, but have these ladies checked the dictionary for the definition of lesbian?

 

[infinity706]

Well, they're both moderators of multiple sex forums, so I'd assume they do. They both lean obviously toward the lesbian side of the scale in both preferences and number of sex partners. Of course, I've been told by a lot of people that you have to either be straight or gay, so maybe that's part of it. I have to wonder what happens with group sex situations, though.

 

[Etoile]

You don't have to be either straight or gay, there are plenty of 50/50 confirmed bisexuals. But I'm not sure if enjoying having a long-term boyfriend to have sex with really counts as lesbianism. I mean, they're finding penises gross, and that counts, but then they're having sex with penises. Yanno? I dunno, I don't know them, I refuse to pass judgment...but it sounds odd.

Then again, I probably count as odd too, for several reasons.