Carrying condoms

[SexyChele]

Since I'm the one who can get pregnant and since it's easier to transmit many STDs from a man to a woman, I consider the "protection" to be mainly for me, therefore I am at least equally responsible for providing said protection.

When I'm in a relationship it usually ends up that whoever's bed is slept in provides the condoms.

But what I really don't get from your post and the one above which says the guy will be lucky to get a hand job - what about you? I'm about done with the idea that sex is for men. If we don't have any condoms, I'll be just as disappointed as my guy will be, and if carrying condoms will prevent that disappointment for me in the event the guy forgets, well then I'm all for it.

Well, for protection against pregnancy, I take the pill. And it's just as easy for a woman to pass STD's to a man as the other way round.

I've only experienced an orgasm with another person with one other person, so for me, sex is more about intimacy, pleasing my partner, and getting him off. I simply do not worry about my own orgasm. And, since intimacy is something that has to be developed over time, I don't engage in sex with some one until that point has been achieved. By then, I know them well enough to know if I can trust him to be "condomless".

The hand job remark was in regards to the remote idea that I might engage in some physical act without the intimacy (which would be a very, very, very rare occurance). If he had a condom available, maybe something might happen. If he didn't, I wouldn't just tease him, I'd help him get off. But if the intimacy isn't there, I don't get anything out of it anyway.

If I were to be involved in a relationship and still have to worry about a condom - unless for temporary laspes with the pill - it's not enough of a relationship for me to get intimate in.

 

[DarlingNikki]

And it's just as easy for a woman to pass STD's to a man as the other way round.

Yikes. Not true at all, especially for HIV.

Also it's all very well to trust someone, but many STD's are asymptomatic in men, meaning they don't necessarily know they have them. I don't have random sex either, but I'm not necessarily going to wait for someone to have a whole battery of tests before I have sex with him.

Anyway, I didn't realize you were speaking from such a personal space. I guess for you it doesn't make sense to buy condoms, but I really think in general this should be a shared responsiblity between men and women.

 

[Lust Engine]

Ooooo..touchy subject matter here.

I do agree that condoms should be a shared responsibility but I also realize that there are inherently personal issues here. What if the condom the woman brings for the man isn't his brand or comfortable (or even worse latex for someone who is allergic) for him? Is the man totally responsible for bringing the condoms into the situation?? How would a woman know if the man's condom is still good? It could've been in his wallet since the Carter administration!

Ideally these things should be discussed prior to and any awkwardness be taken care of prior to any sexual contact. It's a trust issue. Among long term, monogamous & trusting relationships, it shouldn't be an issue. I think the awkwardness is in new relationships (where we just have to have that dialogue & get over it) or in spontaneous one time flings.

 

[SexyChele]

Ideally these things should be discussed prior to and any awkwardness be taken care of prior to any sexual contact. It's a trust issue. Among long term, monogamous & trusting relationships, it shouldn't be an issue. I think the awkwardness is in new relationships (where we just have to have that dialogue & get over it) or in spontaneous one time flings.

Thank you, LE, for expressing exactly what I wanted to say, but somehow couldn't find the words. I always have long discussions with men before we reach the intimacy point. If a man tells me he was involved in swinging, guess what? He's out of the ballpark. I don't condemn him his choices, but it is obviously his lifestyle choices are not mine and he plays a riskier game than I do.

As for a "battery of tests"? Well, even though my sex life is no nearly as active as when I was in my 20s, I am tested regularly no matter what. It really doesn't take all that much time or effort, and the security is worth it. I expect no less from my partners.

But then, you have to remember, I am a product of the 70s and early 80s. Back then, everyone was screwing everyone else. One night stands (TRUE one night stands, where neither party knew the other and would never meet again) were common - and I did my fair share. Hell, anything you might catch was curable. When AIDS burst onto the scene in the mid-80s, it scared the hell out of me. (Along with quite a few of my partners who had led an even more liberal sex life than I did.) I remember waiting for the results of that first AIDS test - and the feeling of relief when it came back that I was OK. That was when I re-evaluated, and decided some guy grunting over me for 5 minutes was not worth the risk no matter how "hot and heavy" things got.

Okay, I got way off-topic here - sorry! Just attempting to explain where I'm coming from!

 

[asenath]

How do I carry my condoms?

Well, I first pick it up with my fingers, then I hold onto it... and I just keep a hold of it till I get to the bed/sofa/where-ever he happens to be.

That was dumb. Oh well.



I usually throw them in my purse. That's all.

 

[Lust Engine]

Thank you, LE, for expressing exactly what I wanted to say, but somehow couldn't find the words. I always have long discussions with men before we reach the intimacy point. If a man tells me he was involved in swinging, guess what? He's out of the ballpark. I don't condemn him his choices, but it is obviously his lifestyle choices are not mine and he plays a riskier game than I do.

As for a "battery of tests"? Well, even though my sex life is no nearly as active as when I was in my 20s, I am tested regularly no matter what. It really doesn't take all that much time or effort, and the security is worth it. I expect no less from my partners.

But then, you have to remember, I am a product of the 70s and early 80s. Back then, everyone was screwing everyone else. One night stands (TRUE one night stands, where neither party knew the other and would never meet again) were common - and I did my fair share. Hell, anything you might catch was curable. When AIDS burst onto the scene in the mid-80s, it scared the hell out of me. (Along with quite a few of my partners who had led an even more liberal sex life than I did.) I remember waiting for the results of that first AIDS test - and the feeling of relief when it came back that I was OK. That was when I re-evaluated, and decided some guy grunting over me for 5 minutes was not worth the risk no matter how "hot and heavy" things got.

Okay, I got way off-topic here - sorry! Just attempting to explain where I'm coming from!

Chele...

No need to apologize about being a product of the 70's! Actually I think a few of us here are even jealous you got to experience those free love days!

Things have changed and drastically with regards to communicable diseases. Being responsible has become a huge thing just for survival nowadays.

 

[Bandit58]

I wasn't intending to imply that I was going to be jumping into bed with total strangers! I've been out of a LTR (23 year marriage) for about a year now and the whole safety issue is totally new for me (I was in a monogamous marriage and have been with only one other man since). I'd have to be very comfortable with anyone before we did anything remotely sexual

 

[SlickTony]

Actually I think a few of us here are even jealous you got to experience those free love days!

Those clap-ridden times...

 

[Lust Engine]

Those clap-ridden times...

You got the clap back then? Ouch. My deepest sympathies to you.

 

[SlickTony]

I had heard that the condition tended to be asymptomatic in women. It was not--not for me, anyway. By the time I got the notice from the Health Department (I had been to Planned Parenthood in the meantime) I already knew. Fortunately it cleared up in a short time, after I'd been down to the Health Unit and swallowed the handful of horse-pill-sized antibiotic pills they gave me. They told me that there was an epidemic of the stuff going around. I have seldom felt more humiliated by anything that happened to me sexually as by that. The guy I got it from was asymptomatic, and he was rather skeptical when I reported back to him.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Needssome]

I have a rule: He buys the condoms, I buy/remember to take the B.C. pill. If he's out and I know I have time to run to the store and he doesn't, I'll buy but from my point of view, he buys what he uses, I buy what I use. Of course, that's in a monogamous relationship. Outside of that, I'd carry my own for those "just in case" moments. Otherwise, we share the responsibility.

 

[CuteJenn]

I get free condoms from our campus health center, so I provide. If he doesn't like those, he can buy his own.

 

[Lust Engine]

I have a rule: He buys the condoms, I buy/remember to take the B.C. pill. If he's out and I know I have time to run to the store and he doesn't, I'll buy but from my point of view, he buys what he uses, I buy what I use. Of course, that's in a monogamous relationship. Outside of that, I'd carry my own for those "just in case" moments. Otherwise, we share the responsibility.

Awwww....shared responsibility! Man, why does that sound so good at times?? Kudos to you Needssome.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

ITA with Sexy once again

 

[Lust Engine]

ITA with Sexy once again

Chele's so easy to agree with at times isn't she?

 

[Guest]

Before marriage I used to buy the condoms and keep them in a cool dry place.. But then I have only had sex with one lady.. my wife of 22 years...

 

[H0wl]

Responsibility

I have no problem with buying/carrying condoms.

As someone who has NO desire for an unexpected child at this point in my life I also want to be SURE that the condom I'm using is going to be effective so I'm more than happy to get new ones on a regular basis.

Haven't experienced any allergies yet *crosses fingers*.

If my partner has an alternate/complementary means of birth control then I appreciate that.

Strictly from my point of view, its MY responsibility to control MY reproduction/safety.

 

[Different Guy]

*Replying to original thread topic*

I'm a guy and I always carried my condoms in my wallet, as yer do but I got myself a little condom case which stores at least 3 average sized one and clicks shut. Defnately ideal for keeping them totally protected. They don't get squashed or bent or anything like that.

 

[kjken]

I usually provide the condoms. I wouldnt expect my partner to provide it. Used to carry in the wallet, but now just carry in my pocket.

 

[milwcruisin]

I carry a couple of condoms in my wallet. Also sometimes more in my pocket. Yes I know keeping a condom in my pocket/wallet for long periods of times deteriorates the conditon of it. That is why if I dont use them in about a week or so, I throw them out and replace them. Some of you might say this is expensive, but not when you can get FREE condoms from any planned parenthood or anyother similar place. I just walk in and ask for some condoms and they let me take handfuls. So as far as whoever was saying that men/women should split the cost, here is a VERY cost-efficient method where you wouldnt even need to discuss it. I don't know if they only have Planned Parenthoods in the Midwest or what, but this is defenitely a helpful service for those that don't want to pay for condoms, or can't afford them. All you have to do is have the balls to walk in there and ask and your good to go. And it defenitely saves me money as the last 7 months I've been on a slow spell... (Since I've lost my liscense) and I've had to replace the condoms in my wallet a LOT more than usual. Anyhow I don't think their has EVER been a time when I DIDN't have a condom. You should always be prepared, cause you never know when cupids gonna shoot her horny lust arrow at your ass!

 

[curiousjen]

I am in a long term relationship- so we both take responsibility for them- we both carry them in our bags/wallets so we're not caught without one and we have a large stash by the bed. We both remeber- or somertimes both forget- to get them from the shop. Before i got with O I always used to be the one responsible for them, because i don't really trust men to remeber, and i don't want to be disappointed when i'm horny!

 

[Jaded1]

Hmmm, condoms...

Well, I guess I am a stasher also....

I keep a supply of the lubricated ribbed type (for her pleasure... ) in a weaved asian box on the head board shelf on my king size bed. The extra lube for really tight situations is also kept in the head board...

I also keep a selection of the lubed kind in the glove box of the car in case we decided to be naughty in public...

Now as far as carrying? I perfer the pants pocket to keep two or three. There kind bulky and live a circular impression in leather wallets...

Oh, and yes I am single...

 

[fallon2]

For me

For me, I know ahead of time if something will happen since we will discuss it beforehand.

I won't bore you with "when I was in college. . ."

However, I am glad to hear that bandit and others are taking no chances .

Good Luck in your future pursuits!

 

[FrankieB]

I've found the beset thing for me is a silver cigarette case. While it obviously wasn't designed for condoms it holds quite a few (not that I have much of a chance to use them) and fits nicely into a back pocket and isnt too bulky. It's about the size of a bifold wallet, but thinner. I like to think that the heat radiating from my ass won't destroy them, but I don't really have casual sex. Unless they're REALLY hot. Then, well, I need em!