Changing the Life of a Nerd

[Wolf of Mibu 69]

Hasn't worked for me yet, but that's got everything to do with my build, I think.

 

[LadiDarkMoon]

The girls are missing out.
Your a cutie, a baby face and the perfect amount of pudge!

 

[Wolf of Mibu 69]

Well, it's a flattering pic... you can't see the rest. This one is more truthful. It's also cooler. Heh. I like swords (I really am a nerd... heh). The smoke in the background is a nice touch too.

 

[Ansi]

Dungeons and Dragons doesn't care what I look like.

Hoo, boy. This just reminded me of a hilarious scene from a computer game I played recently.

The Leisure Suit Larry game series chronicles the (mis)adventures of one Larry Laffer, a nerdy-but-likable middile-aged man whose goal in life is to have sex with any beautiful woman who strikes his fancy. He's just about the biggest loser on the planet, but he never stops trying. Naturally, risque and hilarious hijinks ensue.

The latest game in the series, Magna Cum Laude, details the similar sexual escapades of Larry's college-age nephew (also named Larry) as he tries to score his way onto a reality TV dating show. There are lots of girls for him to chase after, each with unique personalities, so he gets himself into just about every embarassing situation you can imagine.

Anyway...near the end of the game, Larry gets the option to pursue the college's "Geek Queen". She's got the body every kind of man dreams about, but her personality is pure, unadulterated 'nerd'. She reads sci-fi book, plays video games, watches old TV shows...and, of course, plays Dungeons and Dragons.

At one point while Larry is trying to win her over, they end up playing a game of D&D. This being a Larry game, though, the entire affair has a sexual twist to it that's utterly hilarious. Larry's RP character is attempting to stop an evil sorcerer from sacrificing a helpless virgin damsel...so he comes up with the bright idea of preventing the ritual by "de-virgining" the victim. Some of the funniest geek-appeal dialogue I've ever heard, hands down.

"Okay, that's a -4 penalty for "no foreplay", but a +2 for her Superior Sluttiness feat. (rolls) Ooo, a critical hit! She's humping your leg..."

"Ooh, okay...I mount her and thrust!"

"Dexterity check! And you don't have the right skills, so...hmm, you miss. You hit her elbow...she takes 1 damage."

"Okay...this time, I cast 'Cure Minor Erection' first..."

God, I love being a nerd.

I like swords.

Just out of curiosity, do the words "two-fisted monkey style" mean anything to you?

 

[LadiDarkMoon]

Well, it's a flattering pic... you can't see the rest. This one is more truthful. It's also cooler. Heh. I like swords (I really am a nerd... heh). The smoke in the background is a nice touch too.

I like playing with swords too. For my wedding I had several pictures taken with one.
And I still stand by what I said before

 

[Wolf of Mibu 69]

Just out of curiosity, do the words "two-fisted monkey style" mean anything to you?

Sounds familiar. Are you referring to the Monkey Grip feat in D&D? If not, refresh my memory.

I like playing with swords too. For my wedding I had several pictures taken with one. And I still stand by what I said before

Well then, I'm flattered. It's too bad you're married.

 

[LadiDarkMoon]

I have a very understanding husband...it's the distance that is the problem.

 

[Wolf of Mibu 69]

Yeah, I see that now. Did you just change your location or something? Heh. For some reason I hadn't realized you were in Mass.

Edit: There are ways of having fun online that transcend distance, if you're up for it.

 

[MagicFingers]

LadiDark,

This is a great premise for a story. Many of us can relate to it.

Way back when I was in the Air Force and stationed in Lost Wages (Las Vegas), I was not very experienced with American women. I was an electronic tech, dirty-blonde hair, lanky like your nerd prototype, but not quite as nerdy in real life.
MY roommate and I used to go to a coffee shop across the street from the Stardust casino and watch the lights on their display.
There was a hot and sexy young waitress there that we got to know. She treated us like rich men, instead of the poor airmen that we were. She flirted with me all the time, unbuttoning an extra button on her uniform, bending over to flash me, etc. I got to know her well enough to ask her out and she accepted! We had several hot dates and hot sex. She was the first and possibly only true nympho that I ever met. No matter what we did sexually, or how often, she wanted more. We went to her apt, a motel, played in the car, and she attacked me constantly. Alas, I met someone else and gave her up to some more verile stud so I could recover my self esteem.

The waitress concept could work for your story too.

I like the coder angle, but too much of it will keep a lot of people from understanding it, making it hard to read. Remember the old engineering motto: KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid,
Or Keep it Stiff, Steve

I might try this story someday.
If anyone writes it now, let us know. I'll read it.

 

[Wolf of Mibu 69]

Heh. The code thing was hilarious though... and even I, with very little knowledge of coding (one Turbo Pascal class in high school) got most of it. Heh.

 

[bishop22]

Speaking fo nerds, there was a story posted sometime last month about nerds who could get cheerleaders because they learned cunnilingus (sp?). I can't find it now, though. Anyone know the title or the author?

 

[rydia57]

geek queen?

Gee, that Geek queen sounds like me...lol. Guys look at me like I could in no way be one, but they seem to like looking at me...lol. The scifi, the video games, the movies and tv shows... comic books, geez... yup, geek princess anyway.
(don't have any swords, one plastic knife and two light sabers tho )

 

[Wolf of Mibu 69]

The sword I have in that pic is a $30 piece of junk from Gen Con. My good sword is a functional replica of Kenshin Himura's reverse-blade katana from the Rurouni Kenshin anime series (the series the guy in my avatar and my Lit handle's name-sake is from... but not the guy whose sword I have). It's very cool.