Chaotic Coffee Klatch (tea also available)

One day this guy comes to work at a sex toy shop. His boss leaves for the day and puts him in charge of the shop.

About an hour later a black haired lady comes in and asks "How much for your black dildos?"
The guy says "30 bucks"
"And how much for your white dildos?" asks the lady.
Again the man says "30 bucks for the black and 30 bucks for the white"
So she takes the black one and leaves.

A while later a brunette comes in to the store and asks
"How much for your white dildos?"
The man responds "30 bucks"
She asks "And how much for your black dildos?"
"30 bucks for the white and 30 bucks for the black" replies the man.
So she takes the white one leaves.

About an hour later a blonde walks through the door and asks "How much are your dildos?"
The guys says "All our dildos are 30 bucks"
Then she looks up behind the man on a shelf and ask "How much for that green one?"
The man responds "Oh, that one is special. That will cost you $250"
The blonde agrees and takes it.

Later that day the boss come back and asks "So what did you sell today?"

The man says "I sold a black dildo, a white dildo , and a 2-liter of mountain dew for $250!"
 
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.

My wife was really mad about the neighbor sunbathing nude outside.
Personally, I’m on the fence.

Did you hear about the proctologist whose girlfriend cheated on him?
It totally rectum.

What do you call a bra that you can’t take off?
A booby trap.

What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.

Why do women like older men?
They know how to stay up longer.

What is the difference between light and hard?
You can actually sleep with a light on.

Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.

What’s the difference between a golf ball and G-spot?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Because I can see myself in your pants.

Which animal has the largest chest?
A Z-bra.

How does a wiener go camping?
In a Wiener-bago.

My wife asked me to spoon in bed, but I’d rather fork.

What does a robot do after a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts.

What is a long, wide thing that men carry?
A tie.

Who is Cogsworth’s best friend?
His candlestick.

How did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales?
They grabbed him by the jewels.

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs.
 
What’s in a man’s pants that you won’t find in a girl’s pants?
Pockets.

What did one boob say to the other boob?
“If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.”

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.

Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

What did Nala say to Simba?
Hakuna my tatas.

Do you work at Dick’s?
Because you’re sporting the goods.

Were your parents bakers?
They should have been because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

Is your car battery dead?
Because I’d really like to jump you.

Did you butt dial me?
I swear your booty is calling me.

Why did Popeye punch the Pope?
He heard he went to Mount Olive.
 
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

What do toys and your wife's breasts have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with

What is love?
The delusion that one woman differs from another.

What do you call a wife with Pms and Esp?
A woman who thinks she knows everything.
 
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