Deadbed1968
Rrrruff!
- Joined
- May 16, 2022
- Posts
- 4,971
That should do for tonight!
Chaotic Coffee Klatch (tea also available)
- Thread starter cheekygirl75
- Start date
snexxer
King of Cheek.
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2018
- Posts
- 11,742
One day this guy comes to work at a sex toy shop. His boss leaves for the day and puts him in charge of the shop.
About an hour later a black haired lady comes in and asks "How much for your black dildos?"
The guy says "30 bucks"
"And how much for your white dildos?" asks the lady.
Again the man says "30 bucks for the black and 30 bucks for the white"
So she takes the black one and leaves.
A while later a brunette comes in to the store and asks
"How much for your white dildos?"
The man responds "30 bucks"
She asks "And how much for your black dildos?"
"30 bucks for the white and 30 bucks for the black" replies the man.
So she takes the white one leaves.
About an hour later a blonde walks through the door and asks "How much are your dildos?"
The guys says "All our dildos are 30 bucks"
Then she looks up behind the man on a shelf and ask "How much for that green one?"
The man responds "Oh, that one is special. That will cost you $250"
The blonde agrees and takes it.
Later that day the boss come back and asks "So what did you sell today?"
The man says "I sold a black dildo, a white dildo , and a 2-liter of mountain dew for $250!"
About an hour later a black haired lady comes in and asks "How much for your black dildos?"
The guy says "30 bucks"
"And how much for your white dildos?" asks the lady.
Again the man says "30 bucks for the black and 30 bucks for the white"
So she takes the black one and leaves.
A while later a brunette comes in to the store and asks
"How much for your white dildos?"
The man responds "30 bucks"
She asks "And how much for your black dildos?"
"30 bucks for the white and 30 bucks for the black" replies the man.
So she takes the white one leaves.
About an hour later a blonde walks through the door and asks "How much are your dildos?"
The guys says "All our dildos are 30 bucks"
Then she looks up behind the man on a shelf and ask "How much for that green one?"
The man responds "Oh, that one is special. That will cost you $250"
The blonde agrees and takes it.
Later that day the boss come back and asks "So what did you sell today?"
The man says "I sold a black dildo, a white dildo , and a 2-liter of mountain dew for $250!"
RjR3_1954
Lady Ks Jester
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2025
- Posts
- 2,093
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
My wife was really mad about the neighbor sunbathing nude outside.
Personally, I’m on the fence.
Did you hear about the proctologist whose girlfriend cheated on him?
It totally rectum.
What do you call a bra that you can’t take off?
A booby trap.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Why do women like older men?
They know how to stay up longer.
What is the difference between light and hard?
You can actually sleep with a light on.
Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
What’s the difference between a golf ball and G-spot?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Because I can see myself in your pants.
Which animal has the largest chest?
A Z-bra.
How does a wiener go camping?
In a Wiener-bago.
My wife asked me to spoon in bed, but I’d rather fork.
What does a robot do after a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts.
What is a long, wide thing that men carry?
A tie.
Who is Cogsworth’s best friend?
His candlestick.
How did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales?
They grabbed him by the jewels.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs.
A rip off.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
My wife was really mad about the neighbor sunbathing nude outside.
Personally, I’m on the fence.
Did you hear about the proctologist whose girlfriend cheated on him?
It totally rectum.
What do you call a bra that you can’t take off?
A booby trap.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Why do women like older men?
They know how to stay up longer.
What is the difference between light and hard?
You can actually sleep with a light on.
Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
What’s the difference between a golf ball and G-spot?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Because I can see myself in your pants.
Which animal has the largest chest?
A Z-bra.
How does a wiener go camping?
In a Wiener-bago.
My wife asked me to spoon in bed, but I’d rather fork.
What does a robot do after a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts.
What is a long, wide thing that men carry?
A tie.
Who is Cogsworth’s best friend?
His candlestick.
How did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales?
They grabbed him by the jewels.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs.
cheekygirl75
Brains of the Outfit
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Posts
- 27,365
RjR3_1954
Lady Ks Jester
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2025
- Posts
- 2,093
What’s in a man’s pants that you won’t find in a girl’s pants?
Pockets.
What did one boob say to the other boob?
“If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.”
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
What did Nala say to Simba?
Hakuna my tatas.
Do you work at Dick’s?
Because you’re sporting the goods.
Were your parents bakers?
They should have been because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
Is your car battery dead?
Because I’d really like to jump you.
Did you butt dial me?
I swear your booty is calling me.
Why did Popeye punch the Pope?
He heard he went to Mount Olive.
Pockets.
What did one boob say to the other boob?
“If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.”
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
What did Nala say to Simba?
Hakuna my tatas.
Do you work at Dick’s?
Because you’re sporting the goods.
Were your parents bakers?
They should have been because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
Is your car battery dead?
Because I’d really like to jump you.
Did you butt dial me?
I swear your booty is calling me.
Why did Popeye punch the Pope?
He heard he went to Mount Olive.
sunset_dreaming
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2025
- Posts
- 969
I highly doubt it - I wouldn't even know where (or want to know, for that matter) on where to start with Discord....
*sniff sniff*
coffee..?
Last edited:
sunset_dreaming
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2025
- Posts
- 969
Couldn't help myself...had to come back for more.
cheekygirl75
Brains of the Outfit
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Posts
- 27,365
Cindy027
ᏽꮼꭰꮖꮑꮑꭺ
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2020
- Posts
- 8,631
Anyone got more dad jokes? I’m BORED!
I think I hate you!
LostHorizon
Shangri-La
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
- Posts
- 6,903
Please no…Anyone got more dad jokes? I’m BORED!
cheekygirl75
Brains of the Outfit
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Posts
- 27,365
I’m still bored, so anyone going to entertain me before I ask for more dad jokes?
(Just kidding, I won’t ask)
LostHorizon
Shangri-La
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
- Posts
- 6,903
Hmmmm I can juggle.
Cindy027
ᏽꮼꭰꮖꮑꮑꭺ
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2020
- Posts
- 8,631
Hmmmm I can juggle.
Can you do a handstand?
LostHorizon
Shangri-La
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
- Posts
- 6,903
I haven’t done one in a while. Either way, if I can or can’t, just watching the effort I am sure is entertaining.
snexxer
King of Cheek.
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2018
- Posts
- 11,742
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
What do toys and your wife's breasts have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with
What is love?
The delusion that one woman differs from another.
What do you call a wife with Pms and Esp?
A woman who thinks she knows everything.
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
What do toys and your wife's breasts have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with
What is love?
The delusion that one woman differs from another.
What do you call a wife with Pms and Esp?
A woman who thinks she knows everything.
Deadbed1968
Rrrruff!
- Joined
- May 16, 2022
- Posts
- 4,971
Doesn’t matter, they’re coming anyway!
Deadbed1968
Rrrruff!
- Joined
- May 16, 2022
- Posts
- 4,971
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
Deadbed1968
Rrrruff!
- Joined
- May 16, 2022
- Posts
- 4,971
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and says, “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and says, “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Deadbed1968
Rrrruff!
- Joined
- May 16, 2022
- Posts
- 4,971
Last night, I dreamed I was a muffler.
I woke up exhausted
I woke up exhausted
Deadbed1968
Rrrruff!
- Joined
- May 16, 2022
- Posts
- 4,971
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
It’s probably why I got run over.
It’s probably why I got run over.
Deadbed1968
Rrrruff!
- Joined
- May 16, 2022
- Posts
- 4,971
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!
I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!
Deadbed1968
Rrrruff!
- Joined
- May 16, 2022
- Posts
- 4,971
Why do divers fall backwards out of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they’d still be on the boat!
Because if they fell forward, they’d still be on the boat!
Deadbed1968
Rrrruff!
- Joined
- May 16, 2022
- Posts
- 4,971
That’s probably enough..,
sunset_dreaming
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2025
- Posts
- 969
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