Chat about cheating . . .

[HotflixLust]

Man was never built for fidelity. Only role was of a provider or a breeder.

 

[LMWM321]

Several years ago, after 20 years of marriage, I gave my wife permission to occasionally be with others. ..So long as she is honest about it, discrete and she prioritizes her safety. And I meant it. Am I cool with her trolling bars for strange men? No, but I'm fine with her sleeping with a co-worker while away at a meeting.

As a consequence, I feel like I'm almost competing with others for my wife's sexual affection. While this may strike some as outrageous and dysfunctional, I find that it compels me to at least try to be the most appealing guy in her orbit - just like I did when we were dating. When we are together, I do my reasonable best to be charming, engaged, to mind my appearance, my manners, my hygiene, etc.. Basically, I try to earn her sexual attention rather than simply take it for granted just because "we're married."

The bottom-line is that I don't want my wife to merely "let" me have sex with her, I want her to WANT me to have sex with her. And this strategy seems to work for us. ..At nearly 60, our sex life is the best it's ever been. And she initiates sex more often than I.

 

[Ed_Sumner]

Several years ago, after 20 years of marriage, I gave my wife permission to occasionally be with others. ..So long as she is honest about it, discrete and she prioritizes her safety. And I meant it. Am I cool with her trolling bars for strange men? No, but I'm fine with her sleeping with a co-worker while away at a meeting.

As a consequence of this I now feel like I'm almost competing with others for my wife's sexual affection. While this may strike some as outrageous and dysfunctional, I like that it compels me to try to be the most appealing guy in her orbit - just like I always tried to be when we were dating. I do my reasonable best to be charming and engaged when we are together, to mind my appearance, my manners, my hygiene, my attire, etc.. Basically, I try to earn her sexual attention rather than simply take it for granted because "we're married."

I don't want my wife to merely "let" me fuck her, I want her to WANT me to fuck her. And in our case, this strategy works. ..At near 60, our sex life is the best it's ever been. And she initiates sex more often than I.

What a great attitude and strategy for keeping your marriage fresh and your sex life hot as you age. After getting over the initial shock and anger of discovering my wife's infidelity, and our relationship recovering from that trauma, we live by basically those same principles.

 

[LMWM321]

Why on earth one can think women do cheat because they are not satisfied sexually? I'm happily married for many years and completely satisfied with my wife but this didn't stop me from having sex with other women more than once. And I can't see why it could be different for woman.

Agreed.

I believe women crave sexual variety as much as men. But historically, they have pursued it far less often than men because they paid a MUCH higher price if caught, including: being beaten (by both their hook-up and husband), cast from her home and her community, financial destitution, bringing shame upon her family, etc.. But as this disparity in consequences fade (ie., women are increasingly the primary or equal income source in a marriage) women are closing the gap in terms of seeking sex outside of marriage. Eventually there will be little if any difference. Especially when you consider that the average woman could line up a willing NSA sex partner in 10 minutes pretty much anywhere - at a bar, a tennis clinic, a co-worker, the refrigerator repair man

 

[lifeis2short2b]

What a great attitude and strategy for keeping your marriage fresh and your sex life hot as you age. After getting over the initial shock and anger of discovering my wife's infidelity, and our relationship recovering from that trauma, we live by basically those same principles.

The difference is LMWM321 and his wife discussed this and agreed to it. Set ground rules.
Your partner was sneaking around until she got caught. Now your so afraid of being alone, getting hit financially with a divorce and publicizing to your family and froends about how sexually inept you are.you have no choice but living by those same rules. Basically !

 

[Ed_Sumner]

The difference is LMWM321 and his wife discussed this and agreed to it. Set ground rules.
Your partner was sneaking around until she got caught. Now your so afraid of being alone, getting hit financially with a divorce and publicizing to your family and froends about how sexually inept you are.you have no choice but living by those same rules. Basically !

Dude, it's pathetic that you're still lurking around, reading my posts and weighing in with your uninformed, unwanted opinions. These are the last pixels I'll be wasting on you. Adios.

 

[wouldloveto]

Wow, that one dude sure is a jerk.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

Sorry I don't get how proud some guys are that they cannot satisfy their women. Yet I'm pathetic?
It's just that I would be embarrassed and ashamed. Yet when I bring attention to that aspect of the conversation I am attacked. So much for chatting about cheating.
By the way you asked for opinions once you posted this thread.

 

[LMWM321]

The difference is LMWM321 and his wife discussed this and agreed to it. Set ground rules.
Your partner was sneaking around until she got caught. Now your so afraid of being alone, getting hit financially with a divorce and publicizing to your family and froends about how sexually inept you are.you have no choice but living by those same rules. Basically !

How do you know my wife didn't cheat? Perhaps my giving her permission to be with other men going forward was my way of owning it rather than being a victim. Your comment toward @Ed_Sumner seems cruel.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

I thought this was an open discussion !
Based on what you shared. I don't believe that was the case. You and your wife have agreed to an open relationship. You set up respectful ground rules. Which is unusual for some people sure, but does show respect for each other.
Mr Ed admits being hurt and betrayed and had no choice but to accept his wife and her shenanigans. He wears it as a badge of honor, even adding it to his sign in name. Is telling the truth cruel ? Or do we just want to hear what we want to hear ? Talk to people who only agree with your own point of view ?
Maybe that's why he started a new thread

 

[peter49parker]

If you were half as smart, as you think you are, you would have noticed that the original post reads, "seeking to compare experiences with other real cheated-on cuck husbands and boyfriends." So far, you have written 'nothing' of value, to further this thread, only espousing your obtuse beliefs.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

If you were half as smart, as you think you are, you would have noticed that the original post reads, "seeking to compare experiences with other real cheated-on cuck husbands and boyfriends." So far, you have written 'nothing' of value, to further this thread, only espousing your obtuse beliefs.

WOW BIG words. It's called "Chat about cheating" isn't it ? Nothing "cuck" about it.
Why start this thread then ? Isn't one thread enough ?
Isn't there a difference between Cuck and cheating ?
Does my "espousing" truth seem "Obtuse" ?

A cuckold is someone, usually a submissive male, often with a small penis that enjoys providing for a woman who is free to have sex with whomever she pleases

In the context of romantic relationships, "cheating" or "infidelity" means having an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else, without your partner's knowledge or consent, while in a monogamous relationship.

Hopefully these definitions of the context of this thread will add some value.

I'm glad to be of help.

 

[peter49parker]

WOW BIG words. It's called "Chat about cheating" isn't it ? Nothing "cuck" about it.
Why start this thread then ? Isn't one thread enough ?
Isn't there a difference between Cuck and cheating ?
Does my "espousing" truth seem "Obtuse" ?

A cuckold is someone, usually a submissive male, often with a small penis that enjoys providing for a woman who is free to have sex with whomever she pleases

In the context of romantic relationships, "cheating" or "infidelity" means having an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else, without your partner's knowledge or consent, while in a monogamous relationship.

Hopefully these definitions of the context of this thread will add some value.

I'm glad to be of help.

Touch a nerve, did I? READ the initial post. The post is just as I quoted. You can read, I suspect. "seeking to compare experiences with other real cheated-on cuck husbands and boyfriends."

I suppose it may come as a shock to you, but your definitions are false and sound made up, by you.... Check Websters Dictionary, for cuckold.

": a man whose wife is unfaithful." https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cuckold?src=search-dict-box

As for the rest of your "drivel" you can shove it, you know where. I hope the big words didn't confuse you, too much.

Save your time and energy on a witty reply, you are now being ignored..... "pffft."

 

[Mike302]

The difference is LMWM321 and his wife discussed this and agreed to it. Set ground rules.
Your partner was sneaking around until she got caught. Now your so afraid of being alone, getting hit financially with a divorce and publicizing to your family and froends about how sexually inept you are.you have no choice but living by those same rules. Basically !

That's how it is for all married men. It's a reality we can't change like taxes! No point getting upset about it anymore. It's just another female victory / privilege.

 

[LMWM321]

I've explained numerous times (on many threads) why, after 20 years of marriage, I decided to give my wife permission to occasionally be with other men. What I haven't specifically mentioned however is that it's a one-sided agreement. I was NOT given the same permission.

So why did I agree to this?

Put simply, as my wife neared 50 I felt her overall interest in sex was waning. Though some of it was related to the asshole known as menopause, I felt some of it might also be related to the simple fact that she was getting a bit bored with me, sexually. This is not so surprising considering we’ve had sex >3,000 times (a couple times per week for 35 years). What is a bit surprising is that I wasn’t growing bored with her. Indeed, I’m as horny for my wife at 60 as I was at 30. Another reason for this being one-sided is my wife has doubts about my ability to have sex with another woman without becoming attached. Before we met, she had sex with lots of guys but fell in love with none of them. For me, on the other hand, she was my first and I quickly fell in love with her. We did break up for a while during which I had other partners, but she was my first, then later became my wife. Of the two of us I’m the more clingy and romantic and I guess she thinks these are risk factors for my becoming attached to another woman after a one-night fling.

As to the kinky aspect of all this… Yes, the idea of her being with someone else for no-strings-sex excites me. In fact, I find the idea to be more exciting than my being with another woman. But I don’t put ANY pressure on her to do it. She has my sincerely expressed permission and that’s as far as I’ll go. If it happens, good for her! If not, well… I’m loving how just giving her permission to do so seems to have had renewed her interest in sex, her interest in me and her overall sexual swagger.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

Touch a nerve, did I? READ the initial post. The post is just as I quoted. You can read, I suspect. "seeking to compare experiences with other real cheated-on cuck husbands and boyfriends."

I suppose it may come as a shock to you, but your definitions are false and sound made up, by you.... Check Websters Dictionary, for cuckold.

": a man whose wife is unfaithful." https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cuckold?src=search-dict-box

As for the rest of your "drivel" you can shove it, you know where. I hope the big words didn't confuse you, too much.

Save your time and energy on a witty reply, you are now being ignored..... "pffft."

LMAO ! The only nerve you hit was my frustration with how ignorant you are. My definitions were easily found on a Google search. I personally didn't need a dictionary for it. That was for your benefit.
So when your wife is out screwing around and you have no idea is that still a kink ? LMAO !
But I'm not upset. I actually embrace guys like you. Hopefully one day I run into one of these wives. I'll be more than happy to satisfy her and your "kink" Then we can have a real conversation.

 

[peter49parker]

I've explained numerous times (on many threads) why, after 20 years of marriage, I decided to give my wife permission to occasionally be with other men. What I haven't specifically mentioned however is that it's a one-sided agreement. I was NOT given the same permission.

So why did I agree to this?

Put simply, as my wife neared 50 I felt her overall interest in sex was waning. Though some of it was related to the asshole known as menopause, I felt some of it might also be related to the simple fact that she was getting a bit bored with me, sexually. This is not so surprising considering we’ve had sex >3,000 times (a couple times per week for 35 years). What is a bit surprising is that I wasn’t growing bored with her. Indeed, I’m as horny for my wife at 60 as I was at 30. Another reason for this being one-sided is my wife has doubts about my ability to have sex with another woman without becoming attached. Before we met, she had sex with lots of guys but fell in love with none of them. For me, on the other hand, she was my first and I quickly fell in love with her. We did break up for a while during which I had other partners, but she was my first, then later became my wife. Of the two of us I’m the more clingy and romantic and I guess she thinks these are risk factors for my becoming attached to a woman after a one-night fling.

As to the kinky aspect of all this… Yes, the idea of her being with someone else for no-strings-sex excites me. In fact, I find the idea to be more exciting than my being with another woman. But I don’t put ANY pressure on her to do it. She has my sincerely expressed permission and that’s as far as I’ll go. If it happens, good for her! If not, well… I’m loving how just giving her permission to do so seems to have had renewed her interest in sex, her interest in me and her overall sexual swagger.

I think it is fantastic how this has worked out for you and your wife. It affirms that the most sexual organ that we have is our 'brain.' If we think sexy thoughts, it makes all the difference in the world.

As for your "one way" permission slip, I had to chuckle to myself. On the eve of my wife re-connecting with her ex high school boyfriend, she offered me the opportunity to find a 'fuck buddy,' for myself. I'm sure she was feeling some guilt over her upcoming sex date with her old B/F, so I flatly rejected her kind offer. Good thing, moments after she offered, she withdrew the permission for me to fuck another woman. Her only explanation was that she just couldn't stand to think of me being with another woman. The "double standard" is alive and well.

 

[Ed_Sumner]

I think it is fantastic how this has worked out for you and your wife. It affirms that the most sexual organ that we have is our 'brain.' If we think sexy thoughts, it makes all the difference in the world.

As for your "one way" permission slip, I had to chuckle to myself. On the eve of my wife re-connecting with her ex high school boyfriend, she offered me the opportunity to find a 'fuck buddy,' for myself. I'm sure she was feeling some guilt over her upcoming sex date with her old B/F, so I flatly rejected her kind offer. Good thing, moments after she offered, she withdrew the permission for me to fuck another woman. Her only explanation was that she just couldn't stand to think of me being with another woman. The "double standard" is alive and well.

I enjoy the same "one-way street." Early on she offered that I could try another woman but I flatly refused - I have no interest whatsoever. She later admitted she couldn't have handled it anyway.

 

[LMWM321]

The "double standard" is alive and well.

I think the lesson is, don't offer permission as part of a quid pro quo agreement. Your permitting her to have sex w/ others needs to happen for it's own reasons and stand on it's own merits. And that's how I viewed it. If she has occasional sex w/ another man, it will improve her confidence in her beauty and help stoke her interest in sex. All of which benefits me whether or not I get to have sex w/ other women.

Besides, even if you both agree to allow sex with others, it's going to be WAY EASIER for most women to find a man interested in NSA sex than it will be for most men to find a woman. So you might find that even if you have permission you may end up never actually finding NSA sex while your wife is able to find LOTS of it. You would have to be okay with this at the outset.

 

[peter49parker]

I think that our wives are wired the same, as are we. I know I have been negligent on the 'husbandly' duties, so I give her the opportunity to make up for it, in her own way. "Happy Wife. Happy Life."

 

[peter49parker]

I think the lesson is, don't offer permission as part of a quid pro quo agreement. Your permitting her to have sex w/ others needs to stand on it's own merits. And that's how I viewed it. If she has has occasional sex w/ another man - I'm happy for her for the benefits I think it brings to her body image, her confidence in her beauty and her interest in sex. All of which benefits me whether or not I get to have sex w/ other women.

Besides, even if you both agree to allow the other to have sex, it's going to be WAY EASIER for most women to find a guy interested in NSA sex than it will be for most men to find a woman. So you might find that even if you are given permission to have sex outside of your marriage, you may end up never actually getting it while your wife is able to have LOTS of it. You would have to be okay with this at the outset.

I completely agree. I understood right from the time she made the offer, it wasn't a sincere, well thought out plan, on her behalf. I think she just needed to relieve some of her guilt, by offering me to have a 'fuck buddy.' I also understand the fact that she could find a willing sex partner in under 10 seconds, while I could wilt, on the vine, waiting for an acceptable offer.

I'm good with how she made the offer, even if she did retract it almost immediately.

 

[policywank]

I think the lesson is, don't offer permission as part of a quid pro quo agreement. Your permitting her to have sex w/ others needs to happen for it's own reasons and stand on it's own merits. And that's how I viewed it. If she has occasional sex w/ another man, it will improve her confidence in her beauty and help stoke her interest in sex. All of which benefits me whether or not I get to have sex w/ other women.

Besides, even if you both agree to allow sex with others, it's going to be WAY EASIER for most women to find a guy interested in NSA sex than it will be for most men to find a woman. So you might find that even if you are given permission you may end up never actually finding NSA sex while your wife is able to find LOTS of it. You would have to be okay with this at the outset.

I think that the quid pro quo point is very important. If you are not comfortable with your partner having other sexual partners, having the same sexual latitude is not going to change your feelings about that. Some people (men especially) seem to think that somehow "keeping up" will mitigate their feelings of jealousy, insecurity, angst, etc. It won't't and if you find that you can't keep up those negative feelings will get magnified.

 

[MrETnman]

I watched my first wife,and heard about my second!

 

[calmlikeabomb]

Was a bull for an older couple for a while, and on the first day, the husband told me categorically that he loved not knowing.

We made it a point to fuck behind his back. A few times, they would be out for a social function and the wife would slip away to meet me, and then join him once we were done.

I never could imagine being a cuck in real life, but being a bull to a willing cuck who exulted in his status... I learnt a lot about self confidence from that man.

 

[YourSecretDesires]

Sorry I don't get how proud some guys are that they cannot satisfy their women. Yet I'm pathetic?
It's just that I would be embarrassed and ashamed. Yet when I bring attention to that aspect of the conversation I am attacked. So much for chatting about cheating.
By the way you asked for opinions once you posted this thread.

I wouldn't say you're pathetic, but your tone is a little harsh, that's all. If some guys get turned on by being cheated on, let them enjoy it I guess. It's not for me but they're not hurting anyone. Everybody's different.