If people put a fraction of the effort they spend worry about their partner cheating into actually prioritizing what makes their partner feel seen and loved, most people wouldn't cheat.
Most people are cheating because they're missing something in their relationship and, for whatever reason, they either don't want to leave the relationship or don't feel they can leave the relationship to go and find it. Cheating is a response to a relationship dynamic that is no longer working for one or both people.
Of course, none of that justifies the lying and deception, but we're not children - life is not black and white. Especially in cases where a couple has been together for a long time and shares serious responsibilities like children and a mortgage, it's not as simple as "just leaving". Often, one person is trying to do the work to fix things, but the other person doesn't feel the need to change. Sometimes, the sex is (perceived as) the only problem in the relationship, and the cheater views cheating as a workaround solution. There are even times when the cheater would say that their sex life and relationship in general is great, they just want more sex than they're getting but know that their partner would never accept an open relationship.
Ultimately, I believe that cheating creates more problems than it solves. But I'll never act like I can't see why cheating can be appealing to so many people who are in a tough position in their relationships.
Most people are cheating because they're missing something in their relationship and, for whatever reason, they either don't want to leave the relationship or don't feel they can leave the relationship to go and find it. Cheating is a response to a relationship dynamic that is no longer working for one or both people.
Of course, none of that justifies the lying and deception, but we're not children - life is not black and white. Especially in cases where a couple has been together for a long time and shares serious responsibilities like children and a mortgage, it's not as simple as "just leaving". Often, one person is trying to do the work to fix things, but the other person doesn't feel the need to change. Sometimes, the sex is (perceived as) the only problem in the relationship, and the cheater views cheating as a workaround solution. There are even times when the cheater would say that their sex life and relationship in general is great, they just want more sex than they're getting but know that their partner would never accept an open relationship.
Ultimately, I believe that cheating creates more problems than it solves. But I'll never act like I can't see why cheating can be appealing to so many people who are in a tough position in their relationships.
