Claymore and Dagger (closed)

[heartofcourage]

"So, I'm just supposed to let my fiancé talk to me like he doesn't care?" Fiona asked, shaking her head as she picked up her book again, prepared to ignore him just as much as he was ignoring her.

 

[KieranSoares]

When normally Sam would sigh and apologize and admit he was being cold, instead Fiona was greeted with silence. After a long while, Sam turned on his side with his back to her, curled up oddly when he'd normally be stretched out. It seemed that day had effected him deeply.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona let the silence between them stretch until it was painfully uncomfortable. He was hiding away, using his silence as a shield and she didn't like that in the least. This wasn't the Sam that she knew.

"At least tell me what happened." Fiona said softly.

 

[KieranSoares]

"You saw what happened," Sam muttered, still motionless. "... I just got back from speaking t'tha' officer's family..."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Sam, he did his duty. You know that as a soldier." Fiona said as she placed her book aside and made her way towards the bed, crawling in next to him but not touching him. "You have an expectation that if times are rough, you might be asked to lay down your life. He did that today."

 

[KieranSoares]

"He went to a meeting t'discuss 'is queen's suggestions fer keepin' the streets safer. 'E didn' come t'get between some fool prince an' a bloody assassin..." Sam's voice grew darker as he spoke. "His wife was expectin' 'im home right after... They were goin' t'take their littlest boy out on 'is first ride with their horses..."

 

[heartofcourage]

"What do you want me to tell you, Sam? That it should have been you?" Fiona asked, not sure how to break him of his depressed moods.

 

[KieranSoares]

"It should've been..." He murmured quietly. "He didn't deserve that..."

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona tensed as he said that, knowing that he was frustrated. "I can't fix this, Sam. I don't know how."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I don't know either." Sam slowly turned on his back to look up at her. He had never looked so tired and beaten-down before in all the time she'd known him. He looked like he just wanted to lay there forever and give up.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona lay down next to him, her forehead pressed against his own. "What did your gran used to tell you? They said it made you feel better."

 

[KieranSoares]

"It wasn' really anything she said..." Sam murmured, closing his eyes. "It was more like... An understanding... Like she'd seen it all before. An' she had... Jus' in a different way."

 

[heartofcourage]

"If you can't feel comfortable with me, then how is a marriage going to work? We agree to love one another for good and bad." Fiona said softly. "And I want you to feel safe. I want you to be happy, but barring that, I want you to be able to relax with me."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam opened his eyes once more to look up at her. Unlike the rage she'd endured in Inverness, all Sam had now was a deep, aching sadness whose true source was no longer intelligible. His simple answer was to lift a hand to her cheek, and he pressed a kiss to her lips.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona kissed him back, allowing him to set the pace. "I wish I could take all of your hurt away. No one deserves to suffer so long and so deeply."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I love you," was his quiet response, letting her rest against him. He didn't want to move or talk anymore, it seemed. He just wanted to sleep for a long time and try to recover in time to do his job.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona didn't say anything more as it seemed that Sam wasn't willing to talk. It made her dad that he couldn't open up to her but it wasn't something she would press him on...yet.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam remained awake for a while, both soothing himself and trying to show her at least that he cared as he stroked his fingers through her hair and kept her close.

 

[heartofcourage]

"You know we have things to talk about before our wedding." Fiona said softly, looking at him as he stroked his fingers through her hair gently.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I know," he murmured, his green eyes having closed again. Truth be told, he thought about it far more often than he'd admit.

 

[heartofcourage]

"If we can't work through this..." Fiona said softly, not willing to finish those words.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam drew Fiona in tighter, tucking his head against her shoulder tightly and kissing her neck gently. He knew that wouldn't fix anything, but he wanted her to know he wouldn't give up.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I love you too." Fiona said softly as he wrapped her up tighter, kissing her neck by way of promising that he was in this for the long haul.

 

[KieranSoares]

Come the next morning, Sam still wasn't looking well but he was fairly rested. At dawn he woke to get ready, but he didn't seem interested in getting dressed. Fiona would find him sitting on the edge of the bed still shirtless, reading over a letter that had been slid under the door.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona didn't say anything as she got out of bed, getting dressed before she turned back to look at Sam with a small sigh. "Get on some clothes, love. We'll go on a walk before we eat breakfast. Then you can go back to work."