Claymore and Dagger (closed)

[KieranSoares]

Sam nodded and rose to pull on fresh clothes and his boots, roughly combing his hair before following her lead. He left his uniform behind. He'd probably come back and put it on before he got to work.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona took his hand as they walked, holding it tightly to just let him know that she was there with him. It didn't matter if he shut her out. She wasn't going to let him go without a fight.

 

[KieranSoares]

They ended up in the private castle gardens, the air still crisp and cool and the plants and ground damp with morning dew. Sam took a deep breath of the cool air as they stepped out and that at least seemed to relax him.

 

[heartofcourage]

"We could make a garden like this at the keep." Fiona said softly as he physically relaxed. "Something peaceful that only we use."

 

[KieranSoares]

"We could. A private garden," he murmured, taking his hand from hers to wrap his arm around her waist. "It'd be a good hiding place..."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Not a hiding place. A place for our family." Fiona said, looking up at him. "We will never hide from anyone."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam only nodded slightly. He didn't seem so convinced but he had no energy or willpower to resist at the moment. He just kept her close and focused on pulling himself together before he had to return to his work. And then they would head back the next day.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Sam, I will say this now." Fiona said, turning to look at him as he seemed so depressed by what had happened still. "You are not at blame for anything that has happened. Everyone sees that but you. Not a soul will blame you for any of this. What we need is Samuel Ghis at the top of his game, not hiding away from the bad things that he blames himself for."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam met her gaze as she spoke, and while he wanted to be what she spoke of, it simply wasn't easy to just turn off the guilt. He could only nod, letting her know he'd certainly try but it'd take time to recover.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Dammit, Sam." Fiona said as she saw her words had no effect. "I need you to fight. You aren't a quitter."

 

[KieranSoares]

"What do you want me t'do, Fiona? Jus' decide I'm fine and smile like an idiot?" Sam muttered with a frown though there was no real force behind his words. "I'll figure it out. Jus' give me time."

 

[heartofcourage]

"You don't have time, Sam." Fiona said, turning to look at him with a frustrated and heartbroken look on her face. "You simply think that we'll forget this side of you, but we don't. It hurts to see you this much in pain. How are we supposed to build a life together if you aren't willing to face your problems? You need help and there is no shame in that. If you don't get help...then you're going to lose me. My heart can't take it."

"Inverness and Scotland deserve a leader that can do his job with a clear conscience. How can you make rational decisions when you're haunted by things that were out of your control?"

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam turned away then, facing off toward the west where the sky was still fairly dark purple. His body was tense once more. "Then tell me what t'do. I don't... I don' know how t'help myself. Where do I even start...?"

 

[heartofcourage]

"You need to talk to someone who has been in your shoes." Fiona said softly as he turned away from her. "And find out how they were able to move past this."

 

[KieranSoares]

"... Maybe one o' my uncles 'r my aunts will know," he muttered. "... Maybe even Da." He didn't sound hopeful, but to Sam's credit, he seemed resigned to the idea if only for Fiona's sake.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Anyone, Sam." Fiona begged. "Gaiann, even. I just need you to work on getting better."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam looked back to meet her gaze, his own exhausted as if the full night's sleep hadn't done him any good. "I will, love," he murmured quietly but resolutely. "Just let me finish here in Edinburgh first... then we'll head 'ome an' I'll figure it out."

 

[heartofcourage]

"You have to promise me." Fiona said softly, knowing that once they went back home, he very well might try and get out of facing his fears again.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam stepped up and placed his hands on her arms. "I promise, Fiona... I'll figure it out."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I don't want to lose you, Sam." Fiona said softly as she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I don't want to lose you either..." He muttered, kissing her forehead as his arms draped around her.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona hugged Sam as he draped his arms around her. She leaned into him, trying her hardest to be the person that he needed to live for. She had no idea if she was. After she let him go and they ate breakfast, she changed into her full armor, wanting to visit Invah to talk through some things. She knew that there was training still to do, but she really wanted someone to simply talk to.

 

[KieranSoares]

Outside the city, Fiona would find Invah curled up beyond a hill. Gaiann was nearby speaking with a new dragon, likely Remaia's companion. Invah looked up as Fiona approached, sitting up. "Good morning, my love."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Good morning, Invah." Fiona said with a sigh, greeting her dragon with a hug before she sat down next to her. "How are things with you this morning?"

 

[KieranSoares]

"Fairly well. But I don't think the same goes for you," Invah murmured, drawing Fiona closer. "What's the matter, little one?"