Cleanse this, mother *ucker!

[satindesire]

*Snip*

HOWEVER – since you are post-pregnancy, I would talk to your health care provider before doing anything. I wouldn’t do it at all if you’re still nursing.

And I should clarify that it’s not a permanent solution for health problems or weight issues, it’s really just an excellent way to jump start some good habits.

Oooh, good point.

 

[Netzach]

Are they expensive because you'd be buying prepared juice? If that's the case, a few minutes with some fruit and your blender or food processor ought to trim off some of the cost. I bought a juicer a few years ago and actually tried a couple days of a juice-only regimen. I quit after the "dinner" of celery and potato juice. Christ on an ass plug, that was nasty stuff!

Eewwwww why would anyone do that to themselves?

I'm a person who always liked breakfast for dinner, so why couldn't you just do something appetizing?

It's possible to carbo-load on fruit, but it's so far from the bad things most people are eating that it's kind of an entirely secondary concern when you're trying to clean things up, at least in an "instill good habits" way.

Admittedly, my dietary concerns are kind of weird, but I have been no complex carb for 2 years at a time at other times in my life and there are ways to do it without going stark raving insane. The first week, as Keroin says, though is an absolute bitch.

One of the more pleasant blender discoveries I've had lately is green peas, basil, and water, heated up as a soup. You can top it with parm if you're allowed to eat cheese.

 

[Keroin]

K's Cleanse - Day 4

Yes, I know. What happened to Day 3? Good question. I did the math, though, and this is, apparently, my fourth day on the cleanse. You see how it messes me up?!

All I can say is, I went to bed on Day 2 and woke up on Day 4 with no memory of the previous 24 hours and a dead Girl Guide Cookie sales person in my living room. It appears I stuffed some number of badges down her sugar-pimping throat. Oh well, one down. On to Day 4…

I made a fatal mistake. Prior to the cleanse, I bought myself a bag of Mrs. Vickie’s salt and vinegar potato chips. I’m not a chip eater but, hey, it was the holidays! (And these chips are super yummy and have enough vinegar to give you mouth ulcers…oh baby). Not being a chip eater, though, I only ate half the bag. The other mouth-puckeringly-scrumptious half of the bag remains in my kitchen cupboard. I can’t seem to find the willpower to throw them out and every time I open the cupboard they say, “Aren’t you overdue for a nice mouth ulcer?”

The answer is, of course, yes. Yes I am.

Sigh.

Lunch consisted of snap peas and some hummus.

I have to pee every ten minutes, which makes going out tricky.

Tonight I plan on offing Mrs. Vickie, that salt-mongering whore.

Death toll: 1

 

[graceanne]

Wow. I might try that!

Can you give me some tips as to what's the best way to go about starting this sort of cleansing?

The best thing you can do, as a nursing mother, is observe your 'food pyramid' very very closely. If you look at it, that means a lot of complex carbs. To be clean, that DOES NOT include white bread, white rice, or anything with sugar in it. Remember, every single calorie you eat counts. Next up in size is veggies and fruits, and after that is meat. In other words the amount of grains and veggies you eat should be MORE than your meat. They should take up about 3/4 of your plate.

Also, cutting out white flour and sugar would be good for you, too. It's good for everyone. I'm trying to get back on my high protein diet, currently, and not doing such a great job. Today was better than yesterday (I remembered not to buy the candy bar before I was halfway through it), and hopefully tomorrow I"ll do better than that.

FYI - if you eat celery standing up you burn more calories than you're ingesting.

ETA: When I was nursing I ate too much. I told myself I was eating for two, and all that. If you supsect you're eating too much go on a site like http://caloriecount.about.com and log what you eat. If I remember right, nursing moms should have about 2400 calories a day. That way you know whether you're eating enough, and if you're eating too much. (Not eating enough will cause you to hold on to those pounds.)

 

[satindesire]

*snip*

ETA: When I was nursing I ate too much. I told myself I was eating for two, and all that. If you supsect you're eating too much go on a site like http://caloriecount.about.com and log what you eat. If I remember right, nursing moms should have about 2400 calories a day. That way you know whether you're eating enough, and if you're eating too much. (Not eating enough will cause you to hold on to those pounds.)

Oh GEEZE! 2400!? I probably get about 1800, IF that. Oh My Lord, no wonder I lost weight so fast.

Holy cow, I gotta start eating more.

 

[WriterDom]

Eewwwww why would anyone do that to themselves?

I'm a person who always liked breakfast for dinner, so why couldn't you just do something appetizing?

.

That sounds good. I think I'll make a breakfast burrito.

 

[AbiNormyl]

K's Cleanse - Day 4

Tonight I plan on offing Mrs. Vickie, that salt-mongering whore.

Death toll: 1

You see society could use you now, we could get you to off unhealthy things like Ben and Jerry or Mrs. Fields while you are on a cleanse and help us all out.

 

[YourCaptor]

Sugar goodness

Pistachio ice cream
Dr Pepper
Thai tea
Kinderschokolade
Cold stone sweet cream with kit kats
Pralines

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANtMdzOFIVQ

 

[Netzach]

Sugar goodness

Pistachio ice cream
Dr Pepper
Thai tea
Kinderschokolade
Cold stone sweet cream with kit kats
Pralines

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANtMdzOFIVQ

I must be over it, that just kind of makes me ill to consider.

 

[graceanne]

Oh GEEZE! 2400!? I probably get about 1800, IF that. Oh My Lord, no wonder I lost weight so fast.

Holy cow, I gotta start eating more.

Studies have shown that most healthy breastfeeding women maintain an abundant milk supply while taking in 1800-2200 (or more) calories per day. Consuming less than 1500-1800 calories per day (most women should stay at the high end of this range) may put your milk supply at risk, as may a sudden drop in caloric intake. ​

So 1800 is good.

 

[satindesire]

Studies have shown that most healthy breastfeeding women maintain an abundant milk supply while taking in 1800-2200 (or more) calories per day. Consuming less than 1500-1800 calories per day (most women should stay at the high end of this range) may put your milk supply at risk, as may a sudden drop in caloric intake. ​

So 1800 is good.

Hoo. *wipes sweat from brow*

 

[graceanne]

Hoo. *wipes sweat from brow*

That's what I get for quoting from memory.

I think my kids sucked my brains out of my tits, a little at a time. They call it breast milk, but it's just brain food.

 

[satindesire]

That's what I get for quoting from memory.

I think my kids sucked my brains out of my tits, a little at a time. They call it breast milk, but it's just brain food.

Gaw! XD

 

[Etoile]

Are they expensive because you'd be buying prepared juice? If that's the case, a few minutes with some fruit and your blender or food processor ought to trim off some of the cost. I bought a juicer a few years ago and actually tried a couple days of a juice-only regimen. I quit after the "dinner" of celery and potato juice. Christ on an ass plug, that was nasty stuff!

Yeah, I think the prepared stuff has extra nutrients or something, doesn't it? Which is not to say that straight-up fruit juice does not, but I think the prepared stuff has, like, protein added. Or something.

Oh wait, this says juice fasts are not a good idea if you're on Rx meds. There goes THAT idea. If I quit those, I'll be in terrible pain. Nevermind.

 

[graceanne]

Yeah, I think the prepared stuff has extra nutrients or something, doesn't it? Which is not to say that straight-up fruit juice does not, but I think the prepared stuff has, like, protein added. Or something.

Oh wait, this says juice fasts are not a good idea if you're on Rx meds. There goes THAT idea. If I quit those, I'll be in terrible pain. Nevermind.

You could always do a bought of go-lightly.



Man, I'm bad tonight!

 

[YourCaptor]

Just to put it out their, you want glucose, especially from fruits, like in juice.

Without glucose every cell in your body would starve.

 

[satindesire]

Just to put it out their, you want glucose, especially from fruits, like in juice.

Without glucose every cell in your body would starve.

/random/

Mmm...I love juice.

/endrandom/

 

[Keroin]

K’s Cleanse – Day 5

Holy moral dilemmas Batman! Today my friends announced that I am to be kidnapped on Sunday and taken away to a condo at a big ski resort. There will be skiing, tubing, hot tubbing, and…drinking & eating. Friends said, “You won’t still be on the cleanse, will you?”

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Yes, I will still be on this mother *ucking cleanse!

Bad K, who I’ll admit is very influential, says, “Cleanse Schmense, go get liquored up and eat your face off! You’ll only be quitting two days early anyway.”

Good K, who keeps poking me in the ribs, says, “Your health is important, you’ll have lots of opportunities to eat, drink and be merry. Stick to it, pardner!”

She’s so cheesy. Anyway, the DT’s are beginning to wear off and my system is normalizing. Last night brought a sound sleep, probably because I drowned Mrs. Vickie in a vat of vinegar.

Death toll: 2

 

[Aquila1]

K’s Cleanse – Day 5



Bad K, who I’ll admit is very influential, says, “Cleanse Schmense, go get liquored up and eat your face off! You’ll only be quitting two days early anyway.”



Death toll: 2

Bad K is a wise wise woman. Listen to her words and obey *nods head*


Then again, I'm just a hedonist at heart *looks at the two empty boxes of Christmas chocolates on the bedroom floor, shrugs, and wriggles around on a pile of chips*

 

[Homburg]

*Waggles his eyebrows at Bad K*

"How YOU doin?"

 

[Keroin]

Bad K is a wise wise woman. Listen to her words and obey *nods head*


Then again, I'm just a hedonist at heart *looks at the two empty boxes of Christmas chocolates on the bedroom floor, shrugs, and wriggles around on a pile of chips*

I mostly keep her chained and gagged in the basement. Don't worry, she likes it.

*Waggles his eyebrows at Bad K*

"How YOU doin?"

*Bad K lifts her--*

Whoa! How'd she get out the basement?? Bad K, get back to your cage!!!

 

[graceanne]

I mostly keep her chained and gagged in the basement. Don't worry, she likes it.



*Bad K lifts her--*

Whoa! How'd she get out the basement?? Bad K, get back to your cage!!!

I wonder if bad K and homburgs cock know eachother.

I wonder if we could get bad K to talk to us, in a thread, like hommies cock did.

 

[Keroin]

I wonder if bad K and homburgs cock know eachother.

I wonder if we could get bad K to talk to us, in a thread, like hommies cock did.

Careful what you wish for.

 

[ZRT]

Careful what you wish for.

What's the fun in that?

*leaves a trail of vinegar chips*

 

[graceanne]

What's the fun in that?

*leaves a trail of vinegar chips*

*and cookies*