Cloudy Bait
- Thread starter Misty_Morning
- Start date
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
DAMP-PANTIES
On second thought, maybe roadkill.
On second thought, maybe roadkill.
damppanties
Tinkle, twinkle
- Joined
- May 7, 2002
- Posts
- 16,276
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. While touring a reservation during the documentary she was puzzled as to why there was a difference in the number of feathers in the Indians' headdresses. So she asked a brave who only had one feather in his headdress. He explained, "Only have one woman. One woman, one feather".
Feeling the first redskin was only joking she posed the same question to another brave who had two feathers in his headdress and he replied, "Me have two women; two women ... two feathers".
Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers. Based upon the previous two explanations Ms. Walters was quite intrigued to hear what the Chief had to say. She asked, "Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?"
The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, "Me Chief. Me sleep with 'em all. Big, small, fat and tall, me sleep with em all."
Horrified, Ms. Walters exclaimed, "You ought to be hung."
The Chief replied, "You damn right, me hung big like buffalo, long like snake."
Taken aback by this outburst Ms. Walters cried, "You don't have to be so hostile."
The Chief replied, "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style...me sleep with em all."
With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, "Oh dear."
The Chief said: "No deer. Ass too high, run too fast."
Feeling the first redskin was only joking she posed the same question to another brave who had two feathers in his headdress and he replied, "Me have two women; two women ... two feathers".
Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers. Based upon the previous two explanations Ms. Walters was quite intrigued to hear what the Chief had to say. She asked, "Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?"
The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, "Me Chief. Me sleep with 'em all. Big, small, fat and tall, me sleep with em all."
Horrified, Ms. Walters exclaimed, "You ought to be hung."
The Chief replied, "You damn right, me hung big like buffalo, long like snake."
Taken aback by this outburst Ms. Walters cried, "You don't have to be so hostile."
The Chief replied, "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style...me sleep with em all."
With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, "Oh dear."
The Chief said: "No deer. Ass too high, run too fast."
Misty_Morning
Narcissistic Hedonist
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2006
- Posts
- 6,129
TE999 said:I know--let's organize a buffalo hunt.
I'll bet she shows up for that!
The National Park Service will be cheesed off--but to hell with them.
I agree! Or maybe we could create our own Native American Indian Tribe and build a casino....gambling, debauchery and alcohol....what more could a Native Indian want?
*waits.....in the corner.....with appropriate arsenal..... *
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
- Joined
- May 4, 2006
- Posts
- 30,088
Misty_Morning said:
Yeah---that's the ticket--and we can sell cigarettes, and lottery tickets, and moccasins and cheap trinkets made in China--and wrestle alligators--and throw tomahawks...
Dang! I'm gettin' concerned. She shoulda' been on us like a duck on a june bug by now. Where are you cloudy?
damppanties
Tinkle, twinkle
- Joined
- May 7, 2002
- Posts
- 16,276
Jokes, jokes, we want more jokes.
A guy travelling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!"
A guy travelling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!"
English Lady
Erotic English Rose
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2002
- Posts
- 48,011
TE999 said:Yeah---that's the ticket--and we can sell cigarettes, and lottery tickets, and moccasins and cheap trinkets made in China--and wrestle alligators--and throw tomahawks...
Dang! I'm gettin' concerned. She shoulda' been on us like a duck on a june bug by now. Where are you cloudy?
Oooh, that sounds like fun!
Here's mine!
"On a train from London to Manchester, an American was telling off the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.
"You English are far too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. Look at me... in me, I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?"
The Englishman replied, "Very sporting of your mother."
Misty_Morning
Narcissistic Hedonist
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2006
- Posts
- 6,129
and they just keep on cummin.....
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two US government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his material wealth. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The chief nodded that it was so.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied.......................
"When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did work, medicine man free, Indian man all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex." Then the chief leaned back and shook his head, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two US government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his material wealth. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The chief nodded that it was so.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied.......................
"When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did work, medicine man free, Indian man all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex." Then the chief leaned back and shook his head, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
Chantilyvamp
Confidently Neurotic!
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2006
- Posts
- 10,242
I don't have a joke but I'll leave her a nice new SUV to run the kids around in.
cloudy~
cloudy~
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
- Joined
- May 4, 2006
- Posts
- 30,088
One more:
A wagon train is heading over the plains when the people on it hear drums up in the hills.
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
They pull the wagons into a circle and prepare for battle.
The drums continue, getting louder.
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
The wagon master shouts, "I don't like the sound of those Indian drums."
A voice comes back out of the hills,"We don't either. He's not our regular drummer."
A wagon train is heading over the plains when the people on it hear drums up in the hills.
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
They pull the wagons into a circle and prepare for battle.
The drums continue, getting louder.
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
The wagon master shouts, "I don't like the sound of those Indian drums."
A voice comes back out of the hills,"We don't either. He's not our regular drummer."
Misty_Morning
Narcissistic Hedonist
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2006
- Posts
- 6,129
Silly Girl....Injuns don't know how to drive proper...Chantilyvamp said:I don't have a joke but I'll leave her a nice new SUV to run the kids around in.
cloudy~
cars got no reins....
Fallenfromgrace
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2006
- Posts
- 12,322
Trust you, Misty to make this thread lol...
feeeriek
hiding
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2004
- Posts
- 4,121
UPPER MANAGEMENT TRAINING
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand
and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says
to the waiter, "Me want coffee." He gets the Indian
a tall mug of coffee and the Indian drinks in down in
one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it
into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his
shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in
the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the
waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa,
Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from
yesterday. What the heck was that all about anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for
upper management position: Come in, drink coffee,
shoot the shit, leave mess for others to clean up,
disappear for rest of day."
missing you cloudy
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand
and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says
to the waiter, "Me want coffee." He gets the Indian
a tall mug of coffee and the Indian drinks in down in
one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it
into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his
shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in
the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the
waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa,
Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from
yesterday. What the heck was that all about anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for
upper management position: Come in, drink coffee,
shoot the shit, leave mess for others to clean up,
disappear for rest of day."
missing you cloudy
feeeriek
hiding
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2004
- Posts
- 4,121
When God created the world, he could not help boasting to Brahma of the special favours he had bestowed on India. "I gave it the highest mountains and the broadest rivers in the world; I gave it coal, gold and diamond mines. I gave it the best of everything."
"Was it fair to give one country so much wealth ?" asked Brahma.
"You should see the kind of people I put in India. They will waste everything I gave them."
"Was it fair to give one country so much wealth ?" asked Brahma.
"You should see the kind of people I put in India. They will waste everything I gave them."
Last edited:
G
Guest
Guest
My uncle cried the other day, "After forty years at the Bureau of Indian Affairs, I have been laid off."
"What happened?"
"My Indian died."
OK, maybe that's a government joke.
"What happened?"
"My Indian died."
OK, maybe that's a government joke.
Tarakin
Invisibly stylish
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2007
- Posts
- 8,382
Okay, here's mine:
An indian medicine man is being visited by an indian from another tribe. "You're a wise man. How is the winter going to be?" he asks.
"It's going to be a long and hard winter" the medicine man answers.
The next day another indian comes and he gives him the same answer. And so it goes on the next days.
After some weeks the medicine man gets doubtful. What if he has erred after telling so many indians? Just to be sure, he calls the white man's weather station.
"How is the winter going to be?" he asks.
"Oh, it'll be a long and hard winter."
The medicine man is relieved. He had told the truth after all! But then the white man continues:
"It has to be. The indians collect wood like mad."
An indian medicine man is being visited by an indian from another tribe. "You're a wise man. How is the winter going to be?" he asks.
"It's going to be a long and hard winter" the medicine man answers.
The next day another indian comes and he gives him the same answer. And so it goes on the next days.
After some weeks the medicine man gets doubtful. What if he has erred after telling so many indians? Just to be sure, he calls the white man's weather station.
"How is the winter going to be?" he asks.
"Oh, it'll be a long and hard winter."
The medicine man is relieved. He had told the truth after all! But then the white man continues:
"It has to be. The indians collect wood like mad."
Jubal_Harshaw
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2006
- Posts
- 371
So this redskin guy waks into a drug store and asks to buy some rubbers. The druggist doesn't really like injuns and decides to have some fun. "What size?" he says. The Injun thinks for a minute and says, "Me not know. How you tell?" The druggist replies, "Go out back, you'll find a wooden fence with a bunch of knot holes in it. Just put your poker through them until you find one that fits right.
So the injun strolls around back and starts poking his dick into holes. A local hooker happens to walk by on the other side of the fence and sees this dick poking through and decides to have her own fun. So she gets down on her knees and when the dick came through the next hole she grabbed it and sucked it into her mouth and wouldn't let go. Well it didn't take long for old Dick Like a Log to pop and the hooker got a free snack.
So the injun walks back into the drug store and the druggist asks him again what size he needs. The injun says, "Mmmm... Forget rubbers. Me want 15 feet of fence."
So the injun strolls around back and starts poking his dick into holes. A local hooker happens to walk by on the other side of the fence and sees this dick poking through and decides to have her own fun. So she gets down on her knees and when the dick came through the next hole she grabbed it and sucked it into her mouth and wouldn't let go. Well it didn't take long for old Dick Like a Log to pop and the hooker got a free snack.
So the injun walks back into the drug store and the druggist asks him again what size he needs. The injun says, "Mmmm... Forget rubbers. Me want 15 feet of fence."
ABSTRUSE
Cirque du Freak
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2003
- Posts
- 50,094
G
Guest
Guest
She's depressed because she realizes the world would be better off if the Powhattan had had a strong Immigration policy.cloudy said:
Chantilyvamp
Confidently Neurotic!
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2006
- Posts
- 10,242
cloudy said:You know why Indians don't like aspirin?
They're white and they work.
I'm fine, just not feeling very sociable right now.
We miss ya cloud warrior
ABSTRUSE
Cirque du Freak
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2003
- Posts
- 50,094
You don't need "reservations" here. No one will scalp you...but next time bring some teepee, we're out at the bar. Amaizing isn't it? Oh and I have some pretty beads for you, so we'll trade them for your car.cloudy said:You know why Indians don't like aspirin?
They're white and they work.
I'm fine, just not feeling very sociable right now.
Walmart trip for underwear countdown in 2 days.
Similar threads
