Cock Pumps

[EJFan]

haha, In high school, there were certainly quite a few guys that would buy shoes two sizes too big for them - quite laughable.

*hangs head in shame and walks away*

 

[bisexplicit]

*hangs head in shame and walks away*

I mean, did you see EJ with those clown shoes? Talk about sexy.

 

[Guest]

 

[bisexplicit]

Probably why he also had pants 2 sizes too large.....wanted to give the impression he needed lots of room in there.

*gets wet*



hahahha.

 

[Eilan]

Are you kidding? I bought a micrometer specifically for the task of penile measurement. I haven't used it yet though. I am waiting for a day when I am increadibly horny so I don't short change my initial measurement.

So I guess you know that an Ångström is one-hundred millionth of a centimeter? That could make for some impressive measurements.

 

[Guest]

 

[bisexplicit]

*dies laughing*

 

[yoshimitsu]

I don't know why anyone bothers measuring. I just use the following chart:

9 1/2" Damn I'm huge

 

[EJFan]

i'm wondering if i have a problem with my package... i was looking at it earlier and couldn't help but notice that, at the top of the shaft, it swells to a mushroom shape and then tapers to a point. and there's a hole in it!!!!

should i see a doctor?

 

[Eilan]

i'm wondering if i have a problem with my package... i was looking at it earlier and couldn't help but notice that, at the top of the shaft, it swells to a mushroom shape and then tapers to a point. and there's a hole in it!!!!

should i see a doctor?

I don't know. Does it rattle when you shake it?

 

[Guest]

 

[EJFan]

I don't know. Does it rattle when you shake it?

lemme check..............

no rattling but... oh dear... shit... IT'S SWELLING!

WHAT DO I DO NOW????????

 

[Eilan]

According to the shoe size chart, my penis should be between 5.25" and 5.5".

*looks in pants* Oh. Wait. I don't have a penis.

lemme check..............

no rattling but... oh dear... shit... IT'S SWELLING!

WHAT DO I DO NOW????????

Try rubbing it until pus comes out. That should work, but if it doesn't, try ice and elevation. If all else fails, call 911.

 

[EJFan]

Try rubbing it until pus comes out.

what kind of advice is THIS? i tried that three or four times and the swelling still won't go away. meanwhile, the tweezers broke and i damn near got burned when the magnifying glass caught the sun just right.

 

[Eilan]

what kind of advice is THIS?

Hey, you were looking for advice. Bad advice is still advice.

 

[Private_Label]

I was wondering if anyone had some experience with them. Im an average sized guy, looking for more. I was wondering if anyone has tried one and saw an increase in size, and function was still the same. Let me know if you have any suggestions or ideas

Pumps work on the vacuum principle. It may make you look bigger while you are using it, but after the suction is gone so is the size increase.

I have yet to learn if there is anything that will premanently increase size short of plastic surgery.