Comments that leave you shaking your head

[AlexFourways]

I bought the T-shirt, too. Seriously

Re Gulf of ... T shirt. For another post, I checked Google Earth in the UK and it now says "Gulf of Mexico (Gulf of America)". So they are hedging their bets.

I'm waiting for a rebrand of the Atlanic Ocean to the East America Ocean and similarly the Pacific as the West one!

 

[AlexFourways]

<SNIP>

I do wonder if it's the same person who comments on a bunch of my stories in the same format:
OK but too much chat.
She should have done X, Y and Z to him.
Four (or three) stars.

I commented elsewhere it is a spectrum...
Porn = the sex act
Erotica = why the character(s) want to do the sex act
Erotic litrature = how the character(s) got into the situataion where they are able to, and want to, do the sex act
A story can be omit, or just imply, one of the items above, though Erotic litrature, without the Erotica would be odd if not impossible within my criteira.

 

[AlexFourways]

Or just a number of opinionated readers in the Anal category (lots of readers, but they're a tough audience!)

My 'The Unexpected Back Door Visitor' has lots of reads and votes, but noticably several 1s. Sadly none of the 'HATE IT' voters have commented to tell me why. Possibly too much romance and voyerism/exhibitionism, but I did warn about that! Or possibly they are in the Hate Anal*, so I read to 1 bomb the stories.
*Happens in LW, IT and other more niece catergories.

 

[flatiron2]

I was curious so used Google maps to look. Unless I am mistaken, from the intermeidate island Port Royal? you can't see back to Miami, but according to the Flat Earth Fraternity that is impossible!
However, it is possible for your character to be pointing to where the Bahamas are, even if they are over the horizon. But possibly not a hare to set running!

I use google maps too! I don't live in the US, so google comes in very handy. The other tale I'm currently writing is set in Kansas City, and I've just started getting comments about the microgeography (is that a word?) of the city, so I guess I need to be careful.

I live in Australia, and I've based one of my previous stories in Brisbane and another in Sydney - it's so much easier when you're writing about a city and an environment you know well.

Anyway, I've changed the draft to have one character say something like 'and the Bahamas are just over there' and another flippantly says 'yeah, 200 miles away over there'

 

[kitmarlowe]

On Bed Seventeen, a story about a nurse giving a boundary-crossing patient a hand job:

I kept waiting for the supernatural explanation for her boundary pushing, or any reason for his surgery.

It's not so much the expectation of a supernatural reason that has me scratching my head (though it did make me raise an eyebrow) so much as the expectation that the story would go into medical detail about the procedure this patient had undergone. It's simply not important, and - for me, anyway - not at all erotic.

 

[lovecraft68]

In a 10 page drama riddled story of a relationship between an older woman and younger man (she was his best friend's mother and friends with his mother hence the drama) the woman makes a toss away joke to her lover that if he didn't stop pissing her off she'd go down the hall and stay with his mother and added "I'll see if she's a real blonde'

This is a chapter two and in neither story is there ever any indication the woman is into women, into the mother, the mother is into women, nothing at all. It was a simple stupid joke, and the young man doesn't even reply to it because this isn't a mother/son story and he's not going to think of his mother like that.

Three comments and two private feedbacks going on about how they can't wait for Lori-the female MC- to hook up with Melissa (the mother) and one added that the boy could come home one day, catch the women together and join in.

Comments rarely annoy me, but I wanted to yell "It was a fucking joke!"

But...then I realized this is on me, a self inflicted wound because sometimes I forget that this is a smut site with a huge faction of stroke readers and nothing can be said without them "going there"

Still though, a total of 17 lit pages with a roller coaster of ups and downs before getting to the ending and that is what they commented on.

Again, I have to remind myself to read the room.

 

[lovecraft68]

On Bed Seventeen, a story about a nurse giving a boundary-crossing patient a hand job:



It's not so much the expectation of a supernatural reason that has me scratching my head (though it did make me raise an eyebrow) so much as the expectation that the story would go into medical detail about the procedure this patient had undergone. It's simply not important, and - for me, anyway - not at all erotic.

Falls under the Kiss principle. Do you need to be that detailed? Because if you were not only would some people think 'did we need this' but someone would then point out an inaccuracy. You'd find the one surgeon hanging out on Lit that day.

But I'm wondering, did they get the supernatural thought from the word "boundary?" as in they did not understand the use of the word being its unethical?

 

[AlexFourways]

I use google maps too! I don't live in the US, so google comes in very handy.

I did it for my Fan Fiction of Christmas Wrapping to find the right stores and other details. No complaints so either got it right or nobody complained.

The other tale I'm currently writing is set in Kansas City, and I've just started getting comments about the microgeography (is that a word?) of the city, so I guess I need to be careful.

As an Engineer, my attitude to the English language (all varieties) is that as we don't have an academy ruling over it, it's the people's language. So, if you write something and it conveys your meaning (which micogeography, or even micro-geography, does very well) then it's a valid word.
There is an old rhyme about posh school kids angst. "Latin is a dead language, as dead as dead can be, first it killed the Romans, and now it's killing me."
I have seen a riff on that. "English is a rouge language, as free as free can be, they say you shouldn't make words up! but that's not stopping me!

 

[Actingup]

In a 10 page drama riddled story of a relationship between an older woman and younger man (she was his best friend's mother and friends with his mother hence the drama) the woman makes a toss away joke to her lover that if he didn't stop pissing her off she'd go down the hall and stay with his mother and added "I'll see if she's a real blonde'

This is a chapter two and in neither story is there ever any indication the woman is into women, into the mother, the mother is into women, nothing at all. It was a simple stupid joke, and the young man doesn't even reply to it because this isn't a mother/son story and he's not going to think of his mother like that.

Three comments and two private feedbacks going on about how they can't wait for Lori-the female MC- to hook up with Melissa (the mother) and one added that the boy could come home one day, catch the women together and join in.

Comments rarely annoy me, but I wanted to yell "It was a fucking joke!"

But...then I realized this is on me, a self inflicted wound because sometimes I forget that this is a smut site with a huge faction of stroke readers and nothing can be said without them "going there"

Still though, a total of 17 lit pages with a roller coaster of ups and downs before getting to the ending and that is what they commented on.

Again, I have to remind myself to read the room.

Just remember that it's not a 'normal' distribution - the room isn't defined by its outliers. Many readers understood the joke!

 

[lovecraft68]

Just remember that it's not a 'normal' distribution - the room isn't defined by its outliers. Many readers understood the joke!

I'm sure you're right and if it was one comment it wouldn't register with me, but it was several.

But yes, the people who comment-unfortunately-are a sad minority here, so the hope is most understood the context.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Thanks for the heads-up! In the next chapter of Bitches Gone Bible, the crew move to downtown Miami. In my draft, I had one of the characters standing on a balcony pointing out over the ocean to where the Bahamas are. I'll take that out

I believe that I read somewhere that due to the curvature of the Earth, the horizon (given a flat topography) is roughly three miles away at any point. Bearing in mind that Bimini is roughly 100 miles east of Miami, no you cannot see the Bahamas from the Florida shore, but you could certainly know the direction to them.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Thanks for the heads-up! In the next chapter of Bitches Gone Bible, the crew move to downtown Miami. In my draft, I had one of the characters standing on a balcony pointing out over the ocean to where the Bahamas are. I'll take that out

No! That would be correct. My faux pas was saying the Bahamas were in The Gulf. Miami is on the east, or Atlantic coast of Florida.

 

[TheLobster]

In a 10 page drama riddled story of a relationship between an older woman and younger man (she was his best friend's mother and friends with his mother hence the drama) the woman makes a toss away joke to her lover that if he didn't stop pissing her off she'd go down the hall and stay with his mother and added "I'll see if she's a real blonde'

This is a chapter two and in neither story is there ever any indication the woman is into women, into the mother, the mother is into women, nothing at all. It was a simple stupid joke, and the young man doesn't even reply to it because this isn't a mother/son story and he's not going to think of his mother like that.

Three comments and two private feedbacks going on about how they can't wait for Lori-the female MC- to hook up with Melissa (the mother) and one added that the boy could come home one day, catch the women together and join in.

Comments rarely annoy me, but I wanted to yell "It was a fucking joke!"

But...then I realized this is on me, a self inflicted wound because sometimes I forget that this is a smut site with a huge faction of stroke readers and nothing can be said without them "going there"

Still though, a total of 17 lit pages with a roller coaster of ups and downs before getting to the ending and that is what they commented on.

Again, I have to remind myself to read the room.

It's like Chekhov's Gun, except it's mom's pussy. Don't bring them up if you don't plan on using them.

 

[AlexFourways]

I'm sure you're right and if it was one comment it wouldn't register with me, but it was several.

But yes, the people who comment-unfortunately-are a sad minority here, so the hope is most understood the context.

Sounds like the commenators saw it as a Checkov's gun* rather than a sexual joke. [Oops I didn't refresh so missed TheLobster'ssimilar obs.]

*or in my little world a 'Plot Plant'. The others being a Plot Premise (story set on a ship in the 1800's is unlikely to involve space travel) Plot Pivot, when the story shifts from set up to conclusion, though some have the pivot as the entry point and then uses flashback. Plot Patch is the sin of having forgotten to place the plant or gun where the reader can see it and wonder, so having to have the only British Bobby that has a magnum, and not the ice cream!

 

[SamBomb]

I had a story in the non-consent category and someone said "this is essentially rape."

Well, yeah, every story in the category is.

 

[yowser]

I had a story in the non-consent category and someone said "this is essentially rape."

Well, yeah, every story in the category is.

Like most blanket assertions, this is false. Certainly 'most' applies but there are stories that work the 'reluctance' angle there as well.

 

[SamBomb]

Like most blanket assertions, this is false. Certainly 'most' applies but there are stories that work the 'reluctance' angle there as well.

I was exaggerating, but yeah you are correct.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I was exaggerating, but yeah you are correct.

Kind of sad that absolutely nobody understands hyperbole these days...

 

[StillStunned]

Kind of sad that absolutely nobody understands hyperbole these days...

It's like the Superbole, right, only bigger?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

It's like the Superbole, right, only bigger?

Calling the Super Bowl the world championship might well be superbole...

 

[Bamagan]

It's like the Superbole, right, only bigger?

No, it's an n-dimensional tree trunk. Kind of like a hypercube.

 

[PennyThompson]

No, it's an n-dimensional tree trunk. Kind of like a hypercube.

hy-PER-queue-bee? That can't be right...

-signed Penelope, which rhymes with Cantaloupe

 

[Actingup]

I was curious so used Google maps to look. Unless I am mistaken, from the intermeidate island Port Royal? you can't see back to Miami, but according to the Flat Earth Fraternity that is impossible!
However, it is possible for your character to be pointing to where the Bahamas are, even if they are over the horizon. But possibly not a hare to set running!

In other news, Mt Kilimanjaro does not rise like Olympus above the Serengeti. I guess it could potentially be visible from the Serengeti on a good day? Didn't stop Toto though....

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I was curious so used Google maps to look. Unless I am mistaken, from the intermeidate island Port Royal? you can't see back to Miami, but according to the Flat Earth Fraternity that is impossible!
However, it is possible for your character to be pointing to where the Bahamas are, even if they are over the horizon. But possibly not a hare to set running!

This is the exact reference:

"Somewhere out there, just out of sight, lay the Bahamas. This place was amazing."

 

[Publius68]

I did it for my Fan Fiction of Christmas Wrapping to find the right stores and other details. No complaints so either got it right or nobody complained.

As an Engineer, my attitude to the English language (all varieties) is that as we don't have an academy ruling over it, it's the people's language. So, if you write something and it conveys your meaning (which micogeography, or even micro-geography, does very well) then it's a valid word.
There is an old rhyme about posh school kids angst. "Latin is a dead language, as dead as dead can be, first it killed the Romans, and now it's killing me."
I have seen a riff on that. "English is a rouge language, as free as free can be, they say you shouldn't make words up! but that's not stopping me!

Yeah. No Academy. We aren’t the French, trying to gussy up their redneck Latin.

But as an engineer, you should know that we Anglophones are worse than not free. English is a kludged up legacy communication protocol, largely undocumented, with iron rules that can easily be broken, but nebulous concepts that will make everything crash and burn in oddly colored fire if you deviate from them. It is perilously easy to plug in your own modules which work great for you, but may not be recognized by other users’ builds. Finally, the packet design is a non-standardized nightmare, with regular construction often ignored in the most common of data components, and packets furthermore lack inflective flags, so transmission order becomes weirdly critical.

I’ll get back to you with a metaphor for commas, once I figure the fucking things out myself...