Comments that leave you shaking your head

[Erozetta]

The word "егоза" means "fidget."

In Cyrillic, the letter "г" is pronounced like "g."

Right, but that doesn't make their intent with the comment any clearer. Were they asking if I'm Russian?

(Weirdly, I do fidget a lot, but my name is from combining erotica and Lizzette.)

 

[AlexFourways]

Not myself personally but I've seen a few comments on certain stories I've read where there's a comment, almost always anonymous, where they will summarize a theoretical second part of a story that is just so embellished; Like how they'd write the story if it were up to them.

I get it. There are some stories that I've read that I wish the outcome were different; It's one of the reasons why I decided to start writing my own material after all. However I just find things like that just super bizarre.

I have also seen stories where the comments had pleas for a second chapter, sometimes with ideas. So in my One Off (1x Stories. I have a 'For those who like closure.' where I give an outline of what happened next, but with a caveat that the reader is welcome to write their own and either share them in the comments or write their own story as long as they give an acknowledgement. So far nobody has, well possibly one that was more a disagreement with my ideas.
I also have an 'unless' after my promise that the story will not have any more parts - and so far - only one story has gone on to have more parts!

 

[Plathfan]

Right, but that doesn't make their intent with the comment any clearer. Were they asking if I'm Russian?

(Weirdly, I do fidget a lot, but my name is from combining erotica and Lizzette.)

The Cyrillic letter "з" is pronounced like the English "z," so I guess when he saw "Erozetta," the first thing that came to his mind was "егозетта," an affectionate "little fidget."

 

[RetroFan]

With the American Presidential election on tomorrow, I still can't believe a Loving Wives story I wrote a few years ago - which is about a lesbian PI discovering her professional cricketer brother's wife (an annoying, attention-seeking social media influencer) is cheating all over town - somehow set off angry rants about Donald Trump. This is despite the fact that the story is set in Adelaide, South Australia; has no political themes and that Donald Trump is not even mentioned and is completely irrelevant to the story.

 

[AlexFourways]

With the American Presidential election on tomorrow, I still can't believe a Loving Wives story I wrote a few years ago - which is about a lesbian PI discovering her professional cricketer brother's wife (an annoying, attention-seeking social media influencer) is cheating all over town - somehow set off angry rants about Donald Trump. This is despite the fact that the story is set in Adelaide, South Australia; has no political themes and that Donald Trump is not even mentioned and is completely irrelevant to the story.

But everyone (that is those North Americans who belive it) knows that Australia wants to be the 51st to 56th States of the USA! Better Trump or Harris than King Charles! After all the States are much closer to Australia than the UK (Not!) TMMV et al!
After all I had a comment saying I got the name 'Bed Sit' wrong for a story set in the USA where the male MC had joined the Royal Navy!

 

[RetroFan]

But everyone (that is those North Americans who belive it) knows that Australia wants to be the 51st to 56th States of the USA! Better Trump or Harris than King Charles! After all the States are much closer to Australia than the UK (Not!) TMMV et al!
After all I had a comment saying I got the name 'Bed Sit' wrong for a story set in the USA where the male MC had joined the Royal Navy!

There's even a conspiracy theory that Australia and New Zealand don't exist. I once saw an old clip on Youtube of one of these conspiracy theorists on the UK talk show 'This Morning' trying (without success) to convince Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby of these assertions.

Speaking of Aussies and Kiwis and odd comments, there was a comment on one of my other stories (I think an IT story) which said how much they disliked works by Antipodean writers, that these writers including myself spent too much time talking about native flora, fauna, geography, man-made landmarks and history in their stories, that this was boring and that we should just get to the sex already. I admit I had to look up 'Antipodean' to see what it means, and it is an archaic term for Australians and New Zealanders.

Oddly enough though, earlier this year I wrote an April Fools Day contest story that was absolutely savaged by the commenters, except one who gave me much praise for my detailed descriptions of things in and around Sydney in the narrative. And in my Loving Wives story also earlier this year about the Titanic, one commenter was impressed by my descriptions of Tasmania in the present day post-script.

 

[Actingup]

There's even a conspiracy theory that Australia and New Zealand don't exist. I once saw an old clip on Youtube of one of these conspiracy theorists on the UK talk show 'This Morning' trying (without success) to convince Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby of these assertions.

Speaking of Aussies and Kiwis and odd comments, there was a comment on one of my other stories (I think an IT story) which said how much they disliked works by Antipodean writers, that these writers including myself spent too much time talking about native flora, fauna, geography, man-made landmarks and history in their stories, that this was boring and that we should just get to the sex already. I admit I had to look up 'Antipodean' to see what it means, and it is an archaic term for Australians and New Zealanders.

Oddly enough though, earlier this year I wrote an April Fools Day contest story that was absolutely savaged by the commenters, except one who gave me much praise for my detailed descriptions of things in and around Sydney in the narrative. And in my Loving Wives story also earlier this year about the Titanic, one commenter was impressed by my descriptions of Tasmania in the present day post-script.

The Antipodes are problematic for the flat earthers, including for cyclonic Coriolis force and that we see astronomical features the right way up (ie the wrong way for NH viewers). Regarding the funny criticism that we talk too much about native flora etc... that's because we know that we have to work much harder to get the NH reader imagining correctly. Otherwise it's like those English painters who painted lots of Australian scenes but with English conceptions of light, colour, landscape and foliage - they just look wrong.
For what it's worth, I put lots of loving description into my first two stories, which were both travelogues (of Tassie and the Top End), and lots of people gave favourable comments without anybody saying 'hit me with your sister's tits' or whatever.

 

[MrStill]

And in my Loving Wives story also earlier this year about the Titanic, one commenter was impressed by my descriptions of Tasmania in the present day post-script.

Um, did you draw a map of Tasmania?

 

[Actingup]

Um, did you draw a map of Tasmania?

Out of interest, there are at least two such stories:

https://www.literotica.com/s/heathers-exquisite-map-of-tassie by @Thefireflies in 2018

That one is really highly rated. I haven't read it yet, but it's on my list. I discovered it after I wrote my own for Summer Lovin' this year:
https://www.literotica.com/s/map-of-tasmania

(memo to self - always check for other stories with similar titles....!) That one was popular too, but I'm sure the one by @Thefireflies was better.

 

[WhiteTailDarkTip]

"Although not a sci-fi fan (but I agree about the Bone Clocks), I gave it five."

Which is really weirding me out. I really like David Mitchell's "Bone Clocks" but I'm fairly certain I haven't referenced it anywhere in any of my stories,

But you did reference it in your comment on my story Lips Of A Witch not long ago and that's published in F&SF so maybe that's the connection

 

[Poeticwolf]

Right, but that doesn't make their intent with the comment any clearer. Were they asking if I'm Russian?

(Weirdly, I do fidget a lot, but my name is from combining erotica and Lizzette.)

Just goes to show that people are strange, especially when they feel protected behind the wall of anonymity. I too have been perplexed and confused by the anonymous commenter. I even had someone send me a feedback email anonymously that said, Now you know *soft smile *.
I wish I knew. Or to whom it was.

 

[THBGato]

But you did reference it in your comment on my story Lips Of A Witch not long ago and that's published in F&SF so maybe that's the connection

Ahhhhhhhh! Thank you!
Less freaked out now.

 

[Erozetta]

Just goes to show that people are strange, especially when they feel protected behind the wall of anonymity. I too have been perplexed and confused by the anonymous commenter. I even had someone send me a feedback email anonymously that said, Now you know *soft smile *.
I wish I knew. Or to whom it was.

Oh,it wasn't anonymous, lol. I contacted them to ask what they meant as I'm an idiot and definitely don't speak Russian.

Have not heard back yet

 

[Erozetta]

But you did reference it in your comment on my story Lips Of A Witch not long ago and that's published in F&SF so maybe that's the connection

I was wondering if that might be connected.

 

[Poeticwolf]

Oh,it wasn't anonymous, lol. I contacted them to ask what they meant as I'm an idiot and definitely don't speak Russian.

Have not heard back yet

Ah, I doubt you are an idiot. But maybe I am for assuming it was anonymous hehe

 

[StillStunned]

Oh,it wasn't anonymous, lol. I contacted them to ask what they meant as I'm an idiot and definitely don't speak Russian.

Have not heard back yet

Or perhaps you're an idiot savant, and you speak Russian without knowing it?

 

[Erozetta]

Or perhaps you're an idiot savant, and you speak Russian without knowing it?

I think I'd find something more fun than "little fidget" for a nickname.

 

[Poeticwolf]

I think I'd find something more fun than "little fidget" for a nickname.

Big fidget?

 

[Erozetta]

Big fidget?

Chaotic fidget, more likely. But something tells me to get it translated to Russian/Cyrillic adjacent English letters would be an awkward and ugly hassle.

 

[Poeticwolf]

Chaotic fidget, more likely. But something tells me to get it translated to Russian/Cyrillic adjacent English letters would be an awkward and ugly hassle.

Well there's more beauty in chaos than structure. And I don't know much about Russian. I only speak 2 languages, English and bad English hehe. I'm more fluent with the latter

 

[Erozetta]

Well there's more beauty in chaos than structure. And I don't know much about Russian. I only speak 2 languages, English and bad English hehe. I'm more fluent with the latter

Same.

 

[RetroFan]

Um, did you draw a map of Tasmania?

Ha-ha, I get the joke. No, in the story the narrator writes a message in a bottle and throws it overboard from the Titanic. He encourages his stuck-up wife to also sign the letter, which she only does reluctantly and is unenthusiastic. The Titanic hits the iceberg and sinks that night, lots of people die, you know the story and the 1912 part ends when the rescue ship Carpathia docks in New York.

The story then shifts to the present day and April 2024, 112 years after the Titanic sank. The characters who didn't die in the sinking itself are by now long dead, and the narration shifts to third person. In Devonport, a city on the north-western coast of Tasmania, a family watch a dusk departure of one of the massive car ferries that travel between Tasmania and the Australian mainland, and find a strange old bottle bobbing in the water swept closer to shore in the wake of the car ferry. They retrieve and open it, and amazed what they find take it to a museum, and from there the discovery of the message in a bottle from the Titanic, forgotten and at sea for 112 years and originating thousands of miles away until found by an Australian family becomes international news headlines.

In this post-script, there are lots of descriptions of Devonport, the Tasmanian capital Hobart and of the Tasmanian landscape itself as the present day events play out. We also get to find out the fates of the surviving Titanic passengers through the years. So that's why Tasmania shows up in a story about the Titanic.

As to the other types of 'Maps of Tasmania' the narrator when aboard Titanic actually gets to see three belonging to pretty young women in the space of only about an hour. He gets to see his wife's blonde Map of Tasmania, his wife's younger sister's redhead Map of Tasmania, and the maid's brunette 'Map of Tasmania'.

 

[RetroFan]

The Antipodes are problematic for the flat earthers, including for cyclonic Coriolis force and that we see astronomical features the right way up (ie the wrong way for NH viewers). Regarding the funny criticism that we talk too much about native flora etc... that's because we know that we have to work much harder to get the NH reader imagining correctly. Otherwise it's like those English painters who painted lots of Australian scenes but with English conceptions of light, colour, landscape and foliage - they just look wrong.
For what it's worth, I put lots of loving description into my first two stories, which were both travelogues (of Tassie and the Top End), and lots of people gave favourable comments without anybody saying 'hit me with your sister's tits' or whatever.

I enjoy taking readers into my Australian stories and places I have been and love - Sydney's Circular Quay with the Harbour Bridge and Opera House nearby, along the Yarra River in Melbourne City, Geelong's foreshore on Corio Bay, the stunning island state of Tasmania, Adelaide's Rundle Mall, Perth's Kings Park with the city skyline and Swan River behind, the verdant inland capital of Canberra, on the Brisbane River with the Story Bridge in front and the Brisbane CBD to the side, the Queensland Gold Coast with its towering high rises amongst natural landforms and stunning beaches, the tropical beauty of the Northern Territory capital Darwin among many other regional cities and towns around Australia.

One story I liked in this regard was 'Crazy Cornelius and the Magic Pills', which is set in Sydney and is sort of like a road movie. It goes through Sydney (various scenic locations shown) up the Central Coast to Gosford, on to Newcastle and Port Stephens in the Hunter Region, back down and into the Blue Mountains, a night drive through Western Sydney and into the Southern Tablelands via Goulburn and to Canberra, to the South coast and Bateman's Bay up to Wollongong and then back to Sydney via Cronulla.

 

[Actingup]

I enjoy taking readers into my Australian stories and places I have been and love - Sydney's Circular Quay with the Harbour Bridge and Opera House nearby, along the Yarra River in Melbourne City, Geelong's foreshore on Corio Bay, the stunning island state of Tasmania, Adelaide's Rundle Mall, Perth's Kings Park with the city skyline and Swan River behind, the verdant inland capital of Canberra, on the Brisbane River with the Story Bridge in front and the Brisbane CBD to the side, the Queensland Gold Coast with its towering high rises amongst natural landforms and stunning beaches, the tropical beauty of the Northern Territory capital Darwin among many other regional cities and towns around Australia.

One story I liked in this regard was 'Crazy Cornelius and the Magic Pills', which is set in Sydney and is sort of like a road movie. It goes through Sydney (various scenic locations shown) up the Central Coast to Gosford, on to Newcastle and Port Stephens in the Hunter Region, back down and into the Blue Mountains, a night drive through Western Sydney and into the Southern Tablelands via Goulburn and to Canberra, to the South coast and Bateman's Bay up to Wollongong and then back to Sydney via Cronulla.

Thanks - I've put this one on my reading list. And yes, one reason I like travelogues (from anywhere in the world) is that some places are just so beautiful and meaningful to the people who lived there. That woman you just met in the seedy bar? She loves her country, and she has her favourite places. Let's hear about them and how they define her, and preferably have fantastic sex in and around them!

 

[WhiteTailDarkTip]

And here's me thinking I don't get weird comments! In the last hour, on the story Lips Of A Witch:

"If only you were real. It’s not that I love long drawn out romantic encounters I’m dying of boredom-
With love always
JLS"

I have no idea what to make of that. Is it a mis-posting? A quote from something? Any ideas?