Crossdressing Top - you bet

[intothewoods]

Do you need your Top/Dom/Domme/Owner/Master/What-ever to dress a special way during playtime?


Shank - able to Top while in pink

http://img164.imagevenue.com/loc537/th_33587_P4020018a_123_537lo.jpg http://img31.imagevenue.com/loc538/th_33925_P4020018b_123_538lo.jpg http://img161.imagevenue.com/loc444/th_33940_P4020019b_123_444lo.jpg
(click if you want a larger view)​

Is that sweater ballet slipper pink? Be still my heart!

 

[intothewoods]

LOL, see I begged for a flogging tonight, but he is hooked on the results he gets from this new crop!!

http://static.flickr.com/48/143962392_a1c43ddde7.jpg

http://static.flickr.com/48/143962391_1e97750103.jpg


Catalina

Sorry for the hijack but fuckity fuck I love that! I just have a thing for monograms. But I also can't do anything permanent - is the mark still there? I keep meaning to go on the hunt for a kinky talmudic scholar to find out if that would be, er, kosher.

 

[Shankara20]

Is that sweater ballet slipper pink? Be still my heart!

yes - 100% cotton, very very soft with little mother-of-pearl buttons


and it is all mine

 

[intothewoods]

yes - 100% cotton, very very soft with little mother-of-pearl buttons


and it is all mine

Grumble, grumble. Sounds so cute! Well, I love that color, but it does sort of wash me out. So I suppose you can keep it. It just reminds me of being a little girl and taking ballet lessons.

The other day I was in the little girl's section of a store and staring at all the ballet stuff. Those little wrap skirts, and the leotards! Le sigh. I was so cute. Oh dear, might have to head off to the Daddy Dom thread.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[intothewoods]

I have developed this *terrible* habit of checking the children's sections in thrift/charity shops for larger sized, classic dresses (I can still wear a child's size 16)... I sent an image to my best friend once, and she said "Oh how adorable! You have to keep that one... but doesn't it freak you out on some level, to know you can still pass for a 10 year old?" (Yes but that doesn't stop me from hunting for the classic organza/smocked/be-ribboned dresses that demand to be worn with Mary Janes. LOL)

I used to do that actually, in regular stores. But the fit is kind of weird, even if it fits. At least on me. So I finally stopped.

I am jonesing to go shopping after all of this talk though.

 

[the captians wench]

I used to do that actually, in regular stores. But the fit is kind of weird, even if it fits. At least on me. So I finally stopped.

I am jonesing to go shopping after all of this talk though.

One of the first things I plan to do with my first check on my new income is to set aside a couple hundred dollars and buy myself some new clothes, and try not to worry so much about the price. I still won't be shoping at some of the more well known chains, but at least I will be able to go to walmart and not look at the price first. And now that I'm back into junior sizes at most stores (15 so it's pushing it but I can usually find them) I'll be able to dress my age again. Tho I do want a few nice business type things for when my mom's new boss/best friend comes into town.

 

[myinnerslut]

Sorry for the hijack but fuckity fuck I love that! I just have a thing for monograms. But I also can't do anything permanent - is the mark still there? I keep meaning to go on the hunt for a kinky talmudic scholar to find out if that would be, er, kosher.

i hate to tell you, but as the daughter of a talmudic scholar and a knowledgable kinky person on the subject ofwhats kisher and whats not.. brands are out with tatoos

 

[Shankara20]

I have developed this *terrible* habit of checking the children's sections in thrift/charity shops for larger sized...

I do that for some of my panties

really - they are so frickin cute, have lovely shades of pink and blue and a heavy weight cotton - I wear panties all the time, every day, but gota be in the right sort of mind to go out of the house in my "little girl" panties.

oh my - guess I just told on myself tee-hee

 

[Shankara20]

my my my, how some things change and how some things don't - I was doing some housecleaning of my computer just now and found this post I wrote for a BDSM email group exactly 10 years ago.

I will try to remember to be kind to those just joining us in this lifestyle as I look who I was in 1997

note - I was living in Northern California at the time and traveled a lot to visit customers -

How to dress? That question entered my mind today as I drove up the 580. (Often as I drive my mind slides into scene play remembrances and/or fantasies - sometimes I get so worked up I need to cool down before seeing customers)

I have been invited to my first Costume BDSM play party. WHAT the hell kind of costume does one take to a party that, by vanilla standards, is a costume party? In order to answer that question I just let my mind wonder. It went to a place that I had not really looked into much before and I decided I wanted to talk to my friends about it, so here I am, back to this list.

As a reminder, I am a 50 years old bottom/sub male (today it crossed my mind that I have more sub desires than I have been willing to admit in the past - that is why I have called myself a bottom and not a sub, but that is for another discussion). I am Bi with a heavy preference for women.

Sometimes I enjoy dressing in female undies (whew - now it’s been told). Not in full cross-dressing glory with shaved legs, wig and make-up. In garter - hose - lace panties - half slip and frilly see-through cover. As a 5’8” and 170# male with very short, but stylish, salt and pepper hair I am not sure if I am a good looking man or not, I do know that I am an ugly woman. (sorry for any visuals you all just got, hope you are not eating dinner!)

One night several months ago I got a new outfit and went to the Power Exchange. It was a thrill to prance around that place in pink & white topped with a wonderful black see-through cape and a leather collar. Two of the fully dressed TV’s actually hissed at me as I walked by, still a point of pride for me.

The several parties I have attended I have dressed in good old black leather motorcycle pants, big boots, black tee shirt and black vest. The thought of going to a party as a newbee dressed in undies scares the sh... out of me.

The insight I had today is how I classify people by the way they dress. Dressing in basic black, without a collar, are you a Top or a bottom? If you have a collar does that tell people that you belong to someone? However, in my mind, if you, male or female, are dressed in frilly undies there is no question - you are a sub/bottom. I tried to see a big hairy guy dressed in pink panties laying into a women with a cat o’ nine tails but my mind can not see it. (well Frankie in Rocky Horror might be the acceptation)

Do the soft colors and frilly fabrics belong to a few subs? I know not all subs dress that way? Another way to ask the question might be to say, Have you ever seen a Top/Dom male (or female for that matter) dressed in soft/frilly?

Is it just that I have not been around to enough parties?

Yours xxxx (I wish that name to just continue to die a natural death, Shank)

Ps: I still don’t know how to dress for the party, but I am contacting the hostess.


Today, 2007, I ID as a crossdressing gay Top/Dom (not sure which yet) - still with bi/switch tendencies at times.

With that, I'm off to bed, see you all in the morning

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Fu darling you are a remarkable writer and thank you for sharing that.

More please !

Sooooooooo many changes since then my friend

 

[gingermango]

Shankara - interesting to peek into the past that way, isn't it? I occasionally run into things like that myself and see how my self-image has evolved with the passage of time. Thanks for sharing a glimpse at your own journey.

 

[xxCrystal4314xx]

Fascinating hon

 

[neonflux]

Shank,

I loved reading this post. As Miss Rebecca mentioned, it's beautifully written. It got me to thinking about the fluidity of sexual desire and gender. We name and categorize ourselves and others for so many reasons and yet, can the labels we choose for ourselves ever come close to capturing our complexities? Thank you for providing a small peak into your journey.

Neon

 

[gingermango]

It got me to thinking about the fluidity of sexual desire and gender. We name and categorize ourselves and others for so many reasons and yet, can the labels we choose for ourselves ever come close to capturing our complexities?

I had the same thought as well. I was even tempted to start a separate thread dealing with the issue of self-image fluidity but I wasn't sure where to start nor (for that matter) even what forum to post it in. Perhaps here would be as good a place as any. Shankara, apologies in advance if this is too much of a hijack.

In my case, the evolution of my bi-side and the fading of my never-really-strong male gender identity occurred right alongside my exploration of kink. It's all rather intertwined, isn't it? How we view ourselves and how we feel obviously changes over the scale of years, but in my case it can change from day to day or even minute to minute. Last night I was working out and admiring the slow but steady results of efforts I've made to eliminate ten years of not taking very good care of myself, thinking I'd never had such good definition of my pectoral muscles and biceps, but not an hour later I was eagerly unwrapping a package to see the sexy new bra, panty and garter belt set I ordered last week.

It seems to me that most of the troubles people have with self-image stem from conflicts about what they believe society wishes them to be and what they really are, regardless of how it's characterized. Allowing ourselves to be however we are, and recognizing that it may very well change over time, is the key to happiness.

 

[Shankara20]

Fu darling you are a remarkable writer and thank you for sharing that.

More please !

Sooooooooo many changes since then my friend

I'm glad you enjoyed it - I will look over more of my stuff from that time and perhaps post it.

 

[Shankara20]

Shankara - interesting to peek into the past that way, isn't it? I occasionally run into things like that myself and see how my self-image has evolved with the passage of time. Thanks for sharing a glimpse at your own journey.

your welcome -

 

[Shankara20]

Fascinating hon

 

[Shankara20]

Shank,

I loved reading this post. As Miss Rebecca mentioned, it's beautifully written. It got me to thinking about the fluidity of sexual desire and gender. We name and categorize ourselves and others for so many reasons and yet, can the labels we choose for ourselves ever come close to capturing our complexities? Thank you for providing a small peak into your journey.

Neon

Someone told me once that the very last thing we should ever do is name something because from that point on it is confined to that name. Naming is needed for the sort of communication we do here, but in the short time I've been here I have changed my ID several times.

 

[Shankara20]

Shankara, apologies in advance if this is too much of a hijack.

ginger - this is a great place for your post - and I agree with your post.

How we are molded and choose to mold to accommodate the supposed wishes of our social structure influence how we feel about ourselves and how we interact with others. I might have more to say about my views later.

 

[xxCrystal4314xx]

*blushes* Lookie what I got

Someone told me once that the very last thing we should ever do is name something because from that point on it is confined to that name. Naming is needed for the sort of communication we do here, but in the short time I've been here I have changed my ID several times.

Oh, sounds like the Nomenclature rules for one of the tabletop roleplay games we play. Once you know the things true name, it can be controlled by using the name...

 

[neonflux]

WARNING! Major geek attack!

I had the same thought as well. I was even tempted to start a separate thread dealing with the issue of self-image fluidity but I wasn't sure where to start nor (for that matter) even what forum to post it in. Perhaps here would be as good a place as any. Shankara, apologies in advance if this is too much of a hijack.

In my case, the evolution of my bi-side and the fading of my never-really-strong male gender identity occurred right alongside my exploration of kink. It's all rather intertwined, isn't it? How we view ourselves and how we feel obviously changes over the scale of years, but in my case it can change from day to day or even minute to minute. Last night I was working out and admiring the slow but steady results of efforts I've made to eliminate ten years of not taking very good care of myself, thinking I'd never had such good definition of my pectoral muscles and biceps, but not an hour later I was eagerly unwrapping a package to see the sexy new bra, panty and garter belt set I ordered last week.

It seems to me that most of the troubles people have with self-image stem from conflicts about what they believe society wishes them to be and what they really are, regardless of how it's characterized. Allowing ourselves to be however we are, and recognizing that it may very well change over time, is the key to happiness.

Ginger, I agree with a great deal of this. Many of the identities we DO adopt for ourselves are still influenced by our social norms - adopted in opposition to that which oppresses us.

Have you read Foucault? I am currently rereading his History of Sexuality (which unfortunately, he never finished). He maintains that the desire to control sexuality (in part by pathologizing it through categorization) which arose in the 19th century has actually freed rather than repressed by placing sex at the core of our being.

There is, certainly, a type of dialectic play to naming sexual and gender identities which is constantly widening the circles of behaviors and desires that we come to accept. Think of how limiting the words lesbian and gay are, vs. queer, which encompasses so much more!

I wonder if this naming of ourselves can't also serve to do on an individual level what it does on a societal one? My own definitions are also constantly changing in response to experiences and personal discovery...

Neon

P.S., it's nice to see you posting in these parts

 

[gingermango]

Neon - thanks for your very insightful post (and sweet comment at the end). I've never read Foucault (the philosopher), though I've studied some of the work of Foucault the physicist (different fellow). I think I would like to read some of the philosopher's work; the short biography on him in Wikipedia looks very interesting. It's always a good thing to grow and expand one's mind.

 

[Netzach]

i hate to tell you, but as the daughter of a talmudic scholar and a knowledgable kinky person on the subject ofwhats kisher and whats not.. brands are out with tatoos

I have a hamsa on my back. I figure I'm either totally outsky or Hashem's got my back.

 

[neonflux]

Someone told me once that the very last thing we should ever do is name something because from that point on it is confined to that name. Naming is needed for the sort of communication we do here, but in the short time I've been here I have changed my ID several times.

And again, that is one of the inherent difficulties of language. Naming provides an immediate "sense" of a thing or person, so that we have some sense of how to respond to that individual. Yet it limits our behavior in some sense by creating expectations. For some reason, your comment made me think of what might happen in a public play space where there are no hankies, no indicative modes of dress, and the only question allowed was, "What are you in the mood for today?" Neon