Daily Poll #66

[Leigh81]

Hmm...judging from the responses here, I guess I shouldn't have started my AmPic thread and flirted the way I did. I've never hidden the fact that I'm married. It's interesting to see those commenting and flirting back even after knowing my status.

So if it's considered cheating on my part, what would you consider their actions?

Now I'm going to flirt with you even more
Having a pic thread is not cheating, neither is flirting.

L

 

[elli1]

Wow! I don't believe it is, but that's quite the stretch. Didn't mean to hit a sore spot.

just a somewhat radical comparison to make the point that your actions are your actions.

 

[vibes]

if you're doing something behind your SOs back which you know would hurt them if they knew, then, yes, that's a form of betrayal in my opinion.

My thought exactly.

 

[pvt_addiction]

just a somewhat radical comparison to make the point that your actions are your actions.

Gotcha. My point is, someone who knows that I'm married and promotes the flirting, isn't that like buying a recovering alcoholic a drink? You know it's wrong, but you still do it. A little radical, but just making my point.

 

[elli1]

Gotcha. My point is, someone who knows that I'm married and promotes the flirting, isn't that like buying a recovering alcoholic a drink? You know it's wrong, but you still do it. A little radical, but just making my point.

no, unless the person they're flirting with is a sex addict.

 

[pvt_addiction]

no, unless the person they're flirting with is a sex addict.

How do you know I'm not?

 

[elli1]

How do you know I'm not?

i don't, i wasn't talking about you specifically. and i'm not flirting with you.

 

[BradBigBrain]

I voted other. I believe most know that I'm married and some know who my wife is. She knows what I do here and if she doesn't, she could figure it out pretty quickly. It took her about 15 minutes online here to guess who I am.

That said, it's up to us whether we're cheating or not. It's our relationship and our rules.

I liked what Janey said.

 

[pvt_addiction]

i don't, i wasn't talking about you specifically. and i'm not flirting with you.

I hope you know I'm just messing with you.

I take complete responsibilities for my actions. I know it's wrong to come on here with the situation I'm in. I've chatted online since my later years in high school. I wish walking away from it was easier said than done. I've tried several times before to give up the messengers and Lit. I just haven't been able to stay away.

 

[elli1]

I hope you know I'm just messing with you.

I take complete responsibilities for my actions. I know it's wrong to come on here with the situation I'm in. I've chatted online since my later years in high school. I wish walking away from it was easier said than done. I've tried several times before to give up the messengers and Lit. I just haven't been able to stay away.

and i hope you know you don't have to justify your actions to me

 

[pvt_addiction]

and i hope you know you don't have to justify your actions to me

Deal

 

[vibes]

I take complete responsibilities for my actions. I know it's wrong to come on here with the situation I'm in. I've chatted online since my later years in high school. I wish walking away from it was easier said than done. I've tried several times before to give up the messengers and Lit. I just haven't been able to stay away.

uhm ... so you are addicted, as your Lit handle suggests

 

[pvt_addiction]

uhm ... so you are addicted, as your Lit handle suggests

As pathetic as it sounds, I would say yes.

 

[vibes]

As pathetic as it sounds, I would say yes.

Pathetic is not how I would define it, unless you refer to the meaning of its Greek originating word

 

[suckonsimon]

As pathetic as it sounds, I would say yes.

As another married man with this addiction and with an ampic thread and having read the discussion thus far, I offer a further take on all this:

I know that having an ampic thread, and enjoying the kind of responses from the gals [and guys] which I enjoy there, has re-charged my confidence as my wife's lover in a manner which has given a fresh zest to an already zesty relationship - and all that has been an extraordinary learning curve to me! I value that, and she values that!

 

[pvt_addiction]

As another married man with this addiction and with an ampic thread and having read the discussion thus far, I offer a further take on all this:

I know that having an ampic thread, and enjoying the kind of responses from the gals [and guys] which I enjoy there, has re-charged my confidence as my wife's lover in a manner which has given a fresh zest to an already zesty relationship - and all that has been an extraordinary learning curve to me! I value that, and she values that!

She does or doesn't know about Lit?

 

[suckonsimon]

She does or doesn't know about Lit?

She knows, she knows I flirt some with women here as well as engage in conversation about enhancement of sexual experience and so on. She knows I don't tell her everything about lit and what I post, and she's ok with that as she regards it as my personal space. This is possible I guess because she knows that she is totally my girl 'till death us do part', and that I delight in speaking highly of our relationship on lit.

 

[vibes]

She knows, she knows I flirt some with women here as well as engage in conversation about enhancement of sexual experience and so on. She knows I don't tell her everything about lit and what I post, and she's ok with that as she regards it as my personal space. This is possible I guess because she knows that she is totally my girl 'till death us do part', and that I delight in speaking highly of our relationship on lit.

Simon, if it's not behind her back you're clearly not cheating

 

[suckonsimon]

Simon, if it's not behind her back you're clearly not cheating

I guess the subtlety I need to watch out for - and I have crossed this line a handful of times - is that I don't take advantage of her readiness to let me have my 'personal space' here, knowing as I do that she will not be requiring an account of it.

 

[chinakat]

I voted no, but I guess if I was on the receiving end of finding out my S/O was flirting with people online I'd be kinda upset. He'd probably be kinda upset too, but I doubt he would call it cheating. The Ampics thread is a different story, that wouldn't go over well. But everyone needs an outlet, and I think overall, flirting on Lit is pretty harmless.

 

[vibes]

I voted no, but I guess if I was on the receiving end of finding out my S/O was flirting with people online I'd be kinda upset. He'd probably be kinda upset too, but I doubt he would call it cheating. The Ampics thread is a different story, that wouldn't go over well. But everyone needs an outlet, and I think overall, flirting on Lit is pretty harmless.

You know what: I can't get away with it that way with myself

 

[MortalKombatKitteh]

What is considered cheating or not cheating is defined ONLY by the people in the primary relationship.
So other.

I agree with 1SB. Personally, I consider it cheating so anyone who did it could not or would not be in a relationship long with me.

 

[MortalKombatKitteh]

And I'll be hated on for this, but the amount of time people spend on here seeking outlets for their lack of sex could be spent toward fixing their actual relationship.

If you're so unhappy sex wise, fix it or leave and find someone that does it for you.

If I learned my partner was having sexual relationships with someone online, they'd lose my trust and they wouldn't be able to regain it any time soon. I'd question the very thing I just wrote. Why aren't you focusing on fixing the relationship or asking for an out. Don't use kids as an excuse or the sanctity of marriage, because you've tossed that rule out the window by seeking someone online.

Ohh and my favorite (sarcasm here) ones are the ones that say their partner isn't kinky. Uh why'd you marry them then?? Why are you with them if your sexual compatibility is at opposite ends of the spectrum? If you married them when you knew they weren't kinky, then it's your own fault. Either discuss it with them or repress it.

 

[RoyceConnors]

I would ask why they flirting here and not with their SO. It usually stems from a lack of attention paid due to the unimportance of it to the other person. Finding it elsewhere is always going to draw a person to enjoy it, if it isn't happening at home.
Being with someone is about making that person happy, or what reason are you with them for? It's about learning all those little things that make her/him happy and doing them. Being in any kind of relationship for selfish reasons is totally wrong on many levels and leads to greater hurts happening.
I won't say flirting here is wrong, because sometimes a person needs to learn how to flirt and see it being done. This place is better than any to see the many styles of flirting and what's good and what's not.
It depends on the intent of the flirting that makes it wrong, if it leads to private interaction of any kind. If both partners know what the other is doing and why and are agreeable to it, there's nothing wrong. Going behind their back and interacting with other people in a way that they should be doing with their SO, then I would question the relationship and why they're together.

 

[Arielsdream]

pvt_addiction, pathetic is a totally wrong word. We are all grown ups here and in the end we only have to live with our own consciences no matter what lit opinions are.
Feel free to message me if u need a chat friend.

As pathetic as it sounds, I would say yes.