Damn, she Justa did it again. Still nothing to see.

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

You really don't have to work to be sexy. You exude sexiness by justa being you. Your attitude, personality and quite obviously your body are just overtly sexual. You're also an exhibitionist perv, which is nuclear hot.

Well thanks. Though I think most people think of sexy as classy, elegant, graceful, reserved, agreeable, refined. Then there is me...loud, smart ass, usually dressed frumpy but bright, 50/50 something might be on inside out, and will challenge you to see who can shotgun a beer faster. oh and the exhibitionist perv. So not the standard definition of sexy.

 

[Cthulhu1138]

I have seen exasperated strippers, it is not a pleasant sight.

But the look they give me when I say 'no' might be very different than the one you got when you could not lope around in 8" platform heels.

 

[blade_rocknut]

My outside appearance is painfully normal. I work at a nerdy soul sucking job. I run 12-miles a week. I go to the gym. I have a wife who gives me vanilla missionary sex once a year, maybe twice if it is a good year, whether I need it or not. I have a daughter who is a senior in high school. I live in a great house in a great neighborhood.

As you have probably guessed, since I am on this website, looks can be very deceiving.

As you may be aware, the body gets what the body wants. My subconscious loves to fantasize. It sizes the clit of the 60-something ringing up my groceries. It wonders if the woman in Target who has the two preschoolers in tow is thinking about having her clit cleaned by an anxious tongue. If she secretly longs for a tongue darting in and out of her hungry ass. It is automatically aroused by nips behind a sports bra or a grandmother’s brassier.

I find myself watching and studying anything with a pussy.

The coed in the skirt loading her groceries, the accountant eating her sandwich on a park bench in her sundress, the skater in the short shorts, the playful touch of the young couple at the coffee shop and the runner stopping to tug at her spandex are all my classroom.

Why does she tug?

Is it an itch? Why does she itch. Did she see someone? Was it a memory of the first time her clit was kissed, caressed? Did a bead of moisture form in a deep fold in her clit? Has it began drying and irritating a lonely nerve ending. Has her body gotten the wrong signal? Did her body forget it was only a run?

What if all pretense was dropped? Would she drag me to the alley? Would she throw me on the ground, pull down her spandex, squat on my face and order me to clean all of those irritants from the folds. Would she move her rosebud to my tongue?

Well, that is how I think. Maybe you do too.

Clits have folds, now? Wtf; why did I not receive that memo?

Fuck.
Maybe my vision went bad long before I realized.

 

[blade_rocknut]

well thanks. Never went to an all girls school. I will say in my younger years though, a few strippers did spend some time trying to teach me the whole sexy thing, but it always just ended up with very exasperated strippers.

Now, see...that's the show I wanna watch in the strip club!

 

[kdunn762012]

Sexy is also subjective. And the way you described yourself, sexy.

 

[draconus_infernus]

well thanks. though I would describe my singing voice more along the lines of ritual feline sacrifice than along the lines of sexy.

Really? Mine is more like nails down a chalkboard. Let me get my banjo and we can destroy everyone’s hearing.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I have seen exasperated strippers, it is not a pleasant sight.

But the look they give me when I say 'no' might be very different than the one you got when you could not lope around in 8" platform heels.

haha, well yes, would be very different exasperation, in my case it was the funny shaking head while laughing kind, in yours it is the ouch that hurt my wallet type. The 1st is funny, the second is death glare.

Clits have folds, now? Wtf; why did I not receive that memo?

Fuck.
Maybe my vision went bad long before I realized.

lol

Now, see...that's the show I wanna watch in the strip club!

well me trying to learn how to twerk was hilarious. And you'd have even got to watch me fondle strippers asses.

Sexy is also subjective. And the way you described yourself, sexy.

true. I will meet you half way and go with blue collar sexy. You know, the men who don't mind getting dirty and are rough around the edges themselves. I could see it. But I tend to be too much and too out there for those more reserved white collar guys.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Now, see...that's the show I wanna watch in the strip club!

Soon. You know you're getting old when you reach for your glasses to make sure you can find the target when going down. (I wish I was kidding).

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Really? Mine is more like nails down a chalkboard. Let me get my banjo and we can destroy everyone’s hearing.

oh a torture duet. So what song? let me see, the absolute worst recording I have heard of myself was girls just wanna have fun, though drunk total eclipse of the heart duet was a close second, especially when it gets all passionate and strong lol. At least my singing partner was just as bad. Honestly, I think anything soprano will result in the police being called to investigate animal scarifies where as alto would be more animal control trying to find that annoying howling tom cat.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Soon. You know you're getting old when you reach for your glasses to make sure you can find the target when going down. (I wish I was kidding).

only made funnier because it is true haha.

 

[kdunn762012]

I'd meet you halfway to hell for a crack at your luscious form. Might as well, I'm going that way anyway........

 

[Shyguy1369]

thanks, it was a very fun thread. And my cats seem to think they are comfy.

Oh, I have no doubt they are very comfy indeed

 

[blade_rocknut]

Soon. You know you're getting old when you reach for your glasses to make sure you can find the target when going down. (I wish I was kidding).

Haha! The way my vision has declined in the last year, I believe you. For now though; I'm good with rooting around by tactile cues.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I'd meet you halfway to hell for a crack at your luscious form. Might as well, I'm going that way anyway........

haha. yeah, I know that trip well.

Oh, I have no doubt they are very comfy indeed

though they are not so comfortable when I am laying on them. Yeah I am that chick at the beach digging holes in the sand before I lay down lol

Haha! The way my vision has declined in the last year, I believe you. For now though; I'm good with rooting around by tactile cues.

ah. yes. I haven't gotten there yet, my best guess is I probably only have a year or two though. Bifocals...so not looking forward to it.

 

[draconus_infernus]

oh a torture duet. So what song? let me see, the absolute worst recording I have heard of myself was girls just wanna have fun, though drunk total eclipse of the heart duet was a close second, especially when it gets all passionate and strong lol. At least my singing partner was just as bad. Honestly, I think anything soprano will result in the police being called to investigate animal scarifies where as alto would be more animal control trying to find that annoying howling tom cat.

And since my banjo playing is still below amateur, the playing will match with our singing. Now that I think about it, our torture duet may be a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

And since my banjo playing is still below amateur, the playing will match with our singing. Now that I think about it, our torture duet may be a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

Lol. And I am not sure. I will say some the CIA's preferred sound torture songs are some of my favorite songs. Not sure what that says about me.

 

[Shyguy1369]

though they are not so comfortable when I am laying on them. Yeah I am that chick at the beach digging holes in the sand before I lay down lol

Can completely understand that lol... need to be comfy as well

 

[clark_kent]

Lol. And I am not sure. I will say some the CIA's preferred sound torture songs are some of my favorite songs. Not sure what that says about me.

Did I miss all the singing? Mine is worst of all. But I’d be happy to sing Thunder Road to you. Or perhaps a duet of Paradise by the Dashboard Light.
Ok, I better stop. Someone’s eardrums may burst.

 

[chanticleer]

Well happy monday. First I will start with cross posting of all the things from the titties. I like to keep everything together as if I am looking for something, I can just keyword search my threads.

first I official have titties (as in plural now) Yeah, don't ask how I bribed the magic wheel, just leave it at I spun it real hard, several times

I already shared the one for my many wardrobe malfunctions
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=91973817&postcount=164

for posting the most titties on the thread


for a bizarre rebuttal

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=90398046#post90398046

and for my talented boobies

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=92001776&postcount=7774

I also presented a few awards, which included some voice and a video with a disclaimer. here is that weirdness
Just a little voice introduction
https://voca.ro/oKx0qDbSJsG


Anyway. On to my introduction drumroll.

First a disclaimer
1) Viewer discretion is advised. You will see things that can’t be unseen and hear things that cannot be unheard. yes, it is that bad.
2) I sincerely apologize to Mr Rapper Dude for butchering his song. Who would have thought that a white rural Floridian chick couldn’t rap. Yes, even Karen is looking at Becky drinking her pumpkin spice latte, waiting for the manager, going “OMG Becky, could this chick be any more white”.
3) Views expressed in this production are expressed solely by my tits and I. Lit or thread owners are released of any responsibility
4) If you or any viewers are butthurt, you can send letters to my tits at Iambutthurtandhaveladycramps@gmail.com attention Tittyofmammothproportion and Slagathor. If only offended by one tit, Slagathor is the left one and Tittyofmammothproportion is the right one. They will give your concerns all the consideration they deserve.
Anyway, without further ado put your hands together as we welcome this years winner of whatever I am introducing.
https://www.***********/s/cikmp7x6u1j1gtt/V_20200302_1253.mp4?dl=0

and of course, my duties as the bouncer of titties






then the ending titty applause


or video version
https://www.***********/s/m2apr7swzuuytm3/V_20200322_1932244.mp4?dl=0

then my after party outfit, which of course like 2 seconds after the taking this picture, the fed ex guy came. Seriously, I need to stop unintentionally sexually harassing delivery guys. I need like text alerts when they are near



and a Titty after party wardrobe malfunction.


and now you are caught up on my sunday selfies.

I want to chime in to thank you again for your wonderful posts. I am such a big fan of you, and to be honest, I flat out worship your tits. Not only do I love your tits, but I'm a big fan of bouncing tits especially, and you have blessed us with bountiful amounts of bouncing lately! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I've been playing a number of your boob bouncing videos on endless loops, over and over, because I enjoy them so much!

And because I've been staying home so much lately to try to remain virus free, your bouncing breasts have been endlessly entertaining! Your bouncing boobs encourage good health! As always, I just can't get over your boobs and I don't want to. Congrats on your titty victories!

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Haha! The way my vision has declined in the last year, I believe you. For now though; I'm good with rooting around by tactile cues.

I'm just glad i don't have to fumble with a condom.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Did I miss all the singing? Mine is worst of all. But I’d be happy to sing Thunder Road to you. Or perhaps a duet of Paradise by the Dashboard Light.
Ok, I better stop. Someone’s eardrums may burst.

minimal bad singing from me. oh Meatloaf Duet

I want to chime in to thank you again for your wonderful posts. I am such a big fan of you, and to be honest, I flat out worship your tits. Not only do I love your tits, but I'm a big fan of bouncing tits especially, and you have blessed us with bountiful amounts of bouncing lately! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I've been playing a number of your boob bouncing videos on endless loops, over and over, because I enjoy them so much!

And because I've been staying home so much lately to try to remain virus free, your bouncing breasts have been endlessly entertaining! Your bouncing boobs encourage good health! As always, I just can't get over your boobs and I don't want to. Congrats on your titty victories!

Thank you. I am glad you enjoy my big bouncing boobs. Just don't stare too long an horizontal stripe videos. it is very dizzying. yes, I suspect those stuck indoors at home need to find ways to entertain themselves. Bouncing boobs might not be too bad of an idea

I'm just glad i don't have to fumble with a condom.

haha. If I can't see well enough to put a condom on someone, there are bigger issues than my eyes. or smaller issues as the case may be. Never had a vision issue with a condom, though have had some wrapper issues that once led to a flying condom. I am good like that.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

happy tuesday. yes, of course I am sharing the traditional titty tuesday titty trifecta

We have me playing around with my tits in bed this morring




conference room titties


and as a weird little bonus, my titties sleeping peacefully, prior to me waking them. ah reality

 

[Todger65]

I like Tuesdays. Conference room, branching out. Love it.

 

[draconus_infernus]

happy tuesday. yes, of course I am sharing the traditional titty tuesday titty trifecta

We have me playing around with my tits in bed this morring




conference room titties


and as a weird little bonus, my titties sleeping peacefully, prior to me waking them. ah reality

That last picture begs the question of how one rouses sleeping titties.

 

[clark_kent]

Your tits look very peaceful sleeping there in bed. Are they morning tits, or do they take awhile to wake up. Do they like to play in the morning or do they prefer to lie lazily in bed? Clearly your conference room boobs have had their Red Bull and are ready for the day. I hope they get a lot done today.