Daydream_weaver's Refuge

[Drunken_Angel]

*Mirroring her crosslegged position I scoot closer until our knees touch, the conversation seeming to call for a closeness, a softening of voice, a certain intimacy*

Something was said to me that struck me at the time, it stung. But as I thought about it the truth of the words came through.

My primal isn't a seperate part of me, some alien thing inhabiting my body. She is just another aspect of who I am, who I could be if I let myself. Embracing her doesn't mean that I would lose who I am now, this part of me that I enjoy being the most. I just means that I am one of those who are blessed to be able to enjoy more than just one level of the pleasure spectrum.

Once I started thinking about it, and really listening to myself the more I realized my primal isn't even that scary. She's not that violent, she's not cruel, she's not even that selfish. She's just a part of me that every now and then craves a bit more intensity, to be a bit more playful, a bit rougher.

I think that repressing that part of me is what made it harder for me to control it when it did start to manifest. I want to embrace her, let her out to play now and then. I am even finding that a lot of the things I like aren't that different than what she likes...just different levels. I still like calling her "Her" but it's with more fondness than distrust now. I still want her to be a bit seperate, an individual inside the whole...if that makes any sense.

*realizing how I've babbled I feel my cheeks grow warm and know they are probably a glowing shade of red*

Angel kisses the embarrassment from Weaver's cheeks, one cheek at a time.

"None of these parts of us, are us. Angel comes from a certain part of me, when I'm her its THAT that feels threatened by the primal, the primal makes angel feel superficial. I dont know if that makes sense or not."

 

[Daydream_weaver]

It does make sense. I often feel like this is just a mask...and perhaps it is, perhaps it all is. Because here we all wear masks to a certain extent. We keep some of ourselves back and only show those parts we want to share, those parts we want to take out and play with because we aren't able to in the real world. Because maybe if others saw the whole they wouldn't want to know the individual parts...

*starts to think that maybe my mouth is running away with me and I should take myself off to bed*

 

[Drunken_Angel]

It does make sense. I often feel like this is just a mask...and perhaps it is, perhaps it all is. Because here we all wear masks to a certain extent. We keep some of ourselves back and only show those parts we want to share, those parts we want to take out and play with because we aren't able to in the real world. Because maybe if others saw the whole they wouldn't want to know the individual parts...

*starts to think that maybe my mouth is running away with me and I should take myself off to bed*

"no no no, dont go.. please stay a bit more. I dont think its a mask at all... or if it is then life is a costume ball. The thing is that these are part of us.. its why we feel in tandem with them. Angel does something for me, she expresses a part of me. Its just that the primal.. the animal seems to come from someplace deeper.. thats why I as angel feel threatened. I also have a huge problem with hurting people.. and taking selfishly. Its not bad to have a problem with this, but its incorporated into that primal aspect."

 

[Daydream_weaver]

*takes Angel's hands in mine and raises them to brush my lips over her knuckles, softly, barely touching...my eyes still focused on hers*

Of course it's not bad to have a problem with hurting people, in the way you mean hurting. But maybe, your primal is a bit like mine...it seems worse because it is kept pent up, shackled and unable to express itself. Maybe you, Angel, would be able to temper the primal so that it is satisfied but not at the expense of someone else or your own sense of self. A balance could be struck.

Maybe what you need is a safe place to begin letting that part of you out, people who get how you feel about it and can help you without the risk of getting hurt, but who won't take advantage of it for their own ends.

But maybe I could be wrong...

 

[Drunken_Angel]

*takes Angel's hands in mine and raises them to brush my lips over her knuckles, softly, barely touching...my eyes still focused on hers*

Of course it's not bad to have a problem with hurting people, in the way you mean hurting. But maybe, your primal is a bit like mine...it seems worse because it is kept pent up, shackled and unable to express itself. Maybe you, Angel, would be able to temper the primal so that it is satisfied but not at the expense of someone else or your own sense of self. A balance could be struck.

Maybe what you need is a safe place to begin letting that part of you out, people who get how you feel about it and can help you without the risk of getting hurt, but who won't take advantage of it for their own ends.

But maybe I could be wrong...

I melt at your lips on my hand, so soft, so intimate.

"I think you are right, but part of me still feels desperately like you are wrong. That what is in their will just consume. I dont think anything is going to assuage that except going into it. I'm not even sure it would be enough if the other *wanted* to be consumed. I just dont know.. but I know I cant ignore it.. and I know my constant worry only make it seem that much stronger an obstacle."

 

[Daydream_weaver]

Sometimes you just have to be willing to leap empty handed into the void and see what happens...*a soft sigh wafts warm breath over the backs of her hands*

 

[Drunken_Angel]

Sometimes you just have to be willing to leap empty handed into the void and see what happens...*a soft sigh wafts warm breath over the backs of her hands*

Angel brings Weaver's hand to her lips, the tip of a finger into her mouth, moving slowly and effortlessly. Her touch is calm, peaceful and loving, the gesture intimate, but not looking for anything else.

"Tell me more about your process.. how you have discovered and become your primal self. I know its getting late also, so if you need to get some sleep...."

 

[Daydream_weaver]

My eyes are getting heavy, I'm afraid...but sometime soon I will tell you about her. Who knows, telling someone might go a long ways toward helping me embrace her. *smiling I pull my hand back a bit, letting my fingertip linger on her lower lip* For now though, I really do need to get some sleep.

 

[Drunken_Angel]

My eyes are getting heavy, I'm afraid...but sometime soon I will tell you about her. Who knows, telling someone might go a long ways toward helping me embrace her. *smiling I pull my hand back a bit, letting my fingertip linger on her lower lip* For now though, I really do need to get some sleep.

I am yawning myself. May I sleep here tonight? With you?

 

[Daydream_weaver]

I would like that... *contemplates just calling a blanket to us where we sit, but the comfort of my bed calls. Reaching out I scoop Angel into my arms and in the quickness of a breath whisk us both to the alcove. With a giggle I drop her onto the bed and move to the other side. My clothing fading away like mist in the breeze as I tug back the covers and climb into the bed*

Will you snuggle beside me as you did before?

 

[Drunken_Angel]

I would like that... *contemplates just calling a blanket to us where we sit, but the comfort of my bed calls. Reaching out I scoop Angel into my arms and in the quickness of a breath whisk us both to the alcove. With a giggle I drop her onto the bed and move to the other side. My clothing fading away like mist in the breeze as I tug back the covers and climb into the bed*

Will you snuggle beside me as you did before?

Angel moves with a grace rising from sheer happiness and slides in under the covers. Her bare body wraps around you like a blanket, like so much mist scented with the emotion of her affection.

Goodnight dear Weaver. May the Lady watch over your dreams.

 

[Daydream_weaver]

Good night, sweet Angel... *my lips brush her forehead as the lights dim and go out*

 

[dragonrazor]

Random Dragon Fact:

The diesel engine, unlike its competitor, the Gasoline Engine, will run as is on filtered, used cooking oil, with minimal difference in fuel efficiency.

 

[Daydream_weaver]

*Stepping from the alcove, clothed in flowing, winsome, white I stop long enough to take the latest dragon fact and add it to the Raven file, glad that the file drawer is a bit like the TARDIS, bigger inside. No candles light the cabin tonight. None are needed. The light of the full moon through the wall of windows at the back give more than enough light to see by. I do not intend to stay indoors for long, however.

The French doors leading onto the deck swing open as I approach and the evening breeze greets me, lifting my hair from my neck and shoulders. Tonight is a night to be outside, under the fullness of the moon. My feet feel suddenly constricted in the strappy sandals and I kick them off...tonight I need to feel the earth beneath my soles.

I take the deck steps slowly, finally gaining the cool grass of the meadow beyond the cabin and I begin to run...*

 

[Drunken_Angel]

A growl in the night, crunching of leaves and sticks, a shadow keeps pace, parallel, tandem. A glimpse perhaps caught as moonlight glances silver off her black fur.

 

[Daydream_weaver]

*My feet fairly fly over the grass, barely touching down before propelling me onward. The wooded shadows call, and I swerve toward the edge of the trees only to dash away before entering...teasing the very forest itself.

I feel eyes on me, watching, but I am unafraid. I spin and swirl away across the meadow. The skirts and panels of cloth upon my body billow out with my movements as I dance to some unheard tune*

 

[Drunken_Angel]

*My feet fairly fly over the grass, barely touching down before propelling me onward. The wooded shadows call, and I swerve toward the edge of the trees only to dash away before entering...teasing the very forest itself.

I feel eyes on me, watching, but I am unafraid. I spin and swirl away across the meadow. The skirts and panels of cloth upon my body billow out with my movements as I dance to some unheard tune*

Soft thuds as she runs, a leap into a tree.. a shift, a change, furry arms now grab, branch to branch, tail catches, wraps, swings. From the nests of birds she follows the dancing one from the canopy's crest.

A chatter, primal, worshipful, moonlight reflecting from primate eyes.

 

[Daydream_weaver]

*Like a diver into deep water I plunge into the darkness between the trees, weaving in and out among the trunks. The white of my dress catches and reflects the moon's glow bringing it with me into the shadows. I know where my feet take me...know the path that is unseen by day.

A laugh, low and full of secret things, echoes into the canopy of the trees. My fingers trace along the trunks of trees as I circle them, caress the tops of bushes as I dance past. I glance up, eyes of ice blue tinged with just a hint of violet unerringly finding the gaze of the one following.

I bring both hands to my lips and blow her a kiss before dashing off again into the deeper shadows*

 

[Drunken_Angel]

*Like a diver into deep water I plunge into the darkness between the trees, weaving in and out among the trunks. The white of my dress catches and reflects the moon's glow bringing it with me into the shadows. I know where my feet take me...know the path that is unseen by day.

A laugh, low and full of secret things, echoes into the canopy of the trees. My fingers trace along the trunks of trees as I circle them, caress the tops of bushes as I dance past. I glance up, eyes of ice blue tinged with just a hint of violet unerringly finding the gaze of the one following.

I bring both hands to my lips and blow her a kiss before dashing off again into the deeper shadows*

A catch and then a leap and my arms are wings, soaring. letting her sky take me, flying up and up till all I can see is her great orb. It blocks out the sky and my heart swells. I let out a great avian cry that breaks through the night's stillness.

and then I am wind, I am swirling around the running, dancing spirit, lifting her hair, her hem. I am the sound her feet make as she steps lightly upon the foliage.

 

[Daydream_weaver]

*Dancing through the trees, I break through into another clearing, small and close...the trees creeping in, taking it back over time...all except the flat stone at the center.

I feel her dancing with me, around me as I spin one last time and settle onto the grass near the stone, laughter bubbling up inside me...*

 

[Drunken_Angel]

*Dancing through the trees, I break through into another clearing, small and close...the trees creeping in, taking it back over time...all except the flat stone at the center.

I feel her dancing with me, around me as I spin one last time and settle onto the grass near the stone, laughter bubbling up inside me...*

I swirl, I am air, I am movement, I am a light.. a wisp. I am fey, alighting, dancing, singing to my sister. I dip and I buzz at once mist and then tangible. A kiss on the cheek and then I settle like dew beside her.

 

[Daydream_weaver]

Hello my sweet Angel... *smiling softly I let myself fall back onto the grass looking up through the branches of the trees at the fullness of the moon overhead*

 

[Drunken_Angel]

Hello my sweet Angel... *smiling softly I let myself fall back onto the grass looking up through the branches of the trees at the fullness of the moon overhead*

I smile, the gesture of lips and my words entwine into a shimmer of moonlight. Felt as well as heard. As they progress I become more solid, elongating, grounding into the woman you know, laying beside you.

"She is everything. All inside me that is sacred, if put out into the night, could only hope to be her smallest glimmer."

 

[Daydream_weaver]

*reaching out I let my hand hover just above her waivering form, moving slowly, only the pressure of the air moving between her skin and mine*...tonight the moon resides in us both, my Angel...we shine...we glow...we fly...

 

[Drunken_Angel]

*reaching out I let my hand hover just above her waivering form, moving slowly, only the pressure of the air moving between her skin and mine*...tonight the moon resides in us both, my Angel...we shine...we glow...we fly...

Shimmering, scintillating, barely a form and yet your touch is so tangible all emotion, spirit and sensuality. I could live under that touch forever.. or at least until sunrise.

"I know it gets late, but will you join me in a song or a prayer before bed?"