DLL's anything goes thread
- Thread starter DLL
- Start date
teasing_tim
Me a tease !? :o
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DLL said:morning dreamliner welcome to the thread!!!
Hi, I hope you had a great Easter
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
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The Democrats better hurry and finish that spending bill lol 
http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f70/Joey3308/Pr032607cuttingcosts420.jpg
http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f70/Joey3308/Pr032607cuttingcosts420.jpg
Joey3308
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Well it says....anything goes 
....http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f70/Joey3308/45873uvxxqd4wxh.gif
....http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f70/Joey3308/45873uvxxqd4wxh.gifHow smart is Your Right Foot ? ?
Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon.....
This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying
over and over again to see if you can out smart your
foot, but you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain!
1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think
you are GOOFY..... and while sitting where you are
at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot
Off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the
air with you right hand.
Your foot will change direction.
Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon.....
This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying
over and over again to see if you can out smart your
foot, but you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain!
1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think
you are GOOFY.....
and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot
Off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the
air with you right hand.
Your foot will change direction.
teasing_tim
Me a tease !? :o
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- Apr 22, 2003
- Posts
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Hi DLL
Have you ever tried to rotate your left foot counter clockwise while you write a 9 ?
Have you ever tried to rotate your left foot counter clockwise while you write a 9 ?
teasing_tim
Me a tease !? :o
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2003
- Posts
- 10,537
DLL said:lol i will have to try that how are you teasing one????
I'm doing great, you ?
Tell me if you can do it or not
teasing_tim
Me a tease !? :o
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2003
- Posts
- 10,537
DLL said:i cant do it and i am trying to concentrate so hard hang on i will post this weird e mail i recived let me see what you think of it its quite freaky
lol . i thought you would make it ... maybe you don't try hard enough
ok .. im waiting for your mail
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
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STRANGE SEX LAWS
1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)
2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror. (Makes you hope you never need surgery!)
3. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)
4. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Whoa!)
5. There are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
6. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
7. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England
- but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)
8. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
9. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (This was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
10. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
(Is this a great country or what? ... Not as great as Guam, though!!)
1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)
2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror. (Makes you hope you never need surgery!)
3. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)
4. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Whoa!)
5. There are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
6. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
7. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England
- but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)
8. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
9. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (This was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
10. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
(Is this a great country or what? ... Not as great as Guam, though!!)
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
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Dilbert's Theorem on Salary states:
Engineers, Teachers, Programmers and Scientists can never earn as much
salary as business executives and sales people.
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the
following three postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power (Knowledge=Power)
Postulate 2: Time is Money (Time=Money)
Postulate 3 (as every Physics student knows): Power = Work/Time
It therefore follows: Knowledge = Work / Time
and since Time = Money,
we have: Knowledge = Work / Money
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of
the amount of Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make http://www.cybergifs.com/faces/BigWink2.gif
Engineers, Teachers, Programmers and Scientists can never earn as much
salary as business executives and sales people.
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the
following three postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power (Knowledge=Power)
Postulate 2: Time is Money (Time=Money)
Postulate 3 (as every Physics student knows): Power = Work/Time
It therefore follows: Knowledge = Work / Time
and since Time = Money,
we have: Knowledge = Work / Money
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of
the amount of Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make http://www.cybergifs.com/faces/BigWink2.gif
Joey3308
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Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
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New Exercise Program
My new exercise program!!!!
For Those Of You Getting On in Years (and who isn't?)
I thought I would let you, my friends, in on a little secret
I've found for building my arm and shoulder muscles.
You might wish to adopt this regimen - 3 days a week
works well. I start by standing outside behind the house
and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend
my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there
as long as I can.
After a few weeks I moved up to 10 pound potato sacks,
then 50 pound potato sacks and finally I got to where I
could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each hand and hold
my arms straight out for more than a full minute!
Next, I started putting a few potatoes in the sacks, but I
would caution you not to overdo it at this level.
My new exercise program!!!!
For Those Of You Getting On in Years (and who isn't?)
I thought I would let you, my friends, in on a little secret
I've found for building my arm and shoulder muscles.
You might wish to adopt this regimen - 3 days a week
works well. I start by standing outside behind the house
and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend
my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there
as long as I can.
After a few weeks I moved up to 10 pound potato sacks,
then 50 pound potato sacks and finally I got to where I
could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each hand and hold
my arms straight out for more than a full minute!
Next, I started putting a few potatoes in the sacks, but I
would caution you not to overdo it at this level.
lightning1
Literotica Guru
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- Nov 3, 2004
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Understanding Women
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
Joey3308
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TRUE STORY
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story. On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned. "Ordinarily," Dr Mills continued, "A person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide." That Mr Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, from which the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr Opus. When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B." When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded. The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident.
It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
(A story from Associated Press, Reported by Kurt Westervelt)
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story. On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned. "Ordinarily," Dr Mills continued, "A person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide." That Mr Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, from which the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr Opus. When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B." When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded. The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident.
It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
(A story from Associated Press, Reported by Kurt Westervelt)
Joey3308
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Joey3308
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Joey3308
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Joey3308
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Joey3308
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Joey3308
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Joey3308
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