DLL's anything goes thread
- Thread starter DLL
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Missingmeds
Just being
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Tasty, we all have those moments.
Missingmeds
Just being
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No it isn't just you, rest assured....
Missingmeds
Just being
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Good evening everyone.
mischevious eye
I'm watching you
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- Apr 22, 2003
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DLL said:Miss me????????????
Just got home was lost in NJ all day...
It's not that big how could you get lost?
lmao
Missingmeds
Just being
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Of course we all missed you. Now tell all about your adventure.
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
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REAR-GUARD ACTION ON POISON TURKEYS
Dave Barry
The Sunday Star-Ledger November 5, 1995
We are approaching the Thanksgiving holiday, when we pause to reflect on our blessings by eating pretty much non-stop for an entire day, then staggering off to bed, still chewing, with wads of stuffing clinging to our hair.
It's a spiritual time, yes, but it can also be a tragic time if an inadequately cooked turkey gives us salmonella poisoning, which occurs when tiny turkey-dwelling salmon get into our blood, swim upstream and spawn in our brains (this is probably what happened to Ross Perot). That's why the American Turkey and Giblet Council recommends that to ensure proper preparation, you cook your turkey in a heated oven for at least two full quarters of the Vikings-Lions game, then give a piece to your dog and observe it closely for symptoms such as vomiting, running for president, etc.
Someday, perhaps, we won't have to take these precautions, not if the U.S. government approves a radical new concept in poultry safety being proposed by a company in Rancho Cucamonga, Calif. I am not making up Rancho Cucamonga: It's a real place whose odd-soundlng name, if you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean "Cucamonga Ranch." I am also not making up the poultry safety advance, which was discussed in a lengthy news story by Randyl Drummer in the May 16 issue of the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, sent in by many alert readers.
Before I quote from this story, I need to issue a warning to tasteful readers: You should not - I repeat, not - read the rest of this column if you are likely to be in any way offended by the term "turkey rectums." Speaking of which, the editors of the Nashville Banner will definitely want to take a close look at the following material. Thank you.
The story appears on the Daily Bulletin's business page under the headline Pacer Backing New Use for Glue. It begins, I swear, as follows:
"RANCHO CUCAMONGA - Jim Munn hopes that the government and the poultry industry will get behind his process for gluing chicken and turkey rectums."
Jim Munn, the story explains, is the president of a company called Pacer Technology, which makes Super Glue. Munn, the story states, believes that meat contamination can be reduced by "gluing shut the rectal cavities of turkeys and chicken broilers." (Needless to say, this would be done after the chickens and turkeys have gone to that Big Barnyard in the Sky; otherwise everybody involved would have to be paid a ridiculous amount of money.)
Dave Barry
The Sunday Star-Ledger November 5, 1995
We are approaching the Thanksgiving holiday, when we pause to reflect on our blessings by eating pretty much non-stop for an entire day, then staggering off to bed, still chewing, with wads of stuffing clinging to our hair.
It's a spiritual time, yes, but it can also be a tragic time if an inadequately cooked turkey gives us salmonella poisoning, which occurs when tiny turkey-dwelling salmon get into our blood, swim upstream and spawn in our brains (this is probably what happened to Ross Perot). That's why the American Turkey and Giblet Council recommends that to ensure proper preparation, you cook your turkey in a heated oven for at least two full quarters of the Vikings-Lions game, then give a piece to your dog and observe it closely for symptoms such as vomiting, running for president, etc.
Someday, perhaps, we won't have to take these precautions, not if the U.S. government approves a radical new concept in poultry safety being proposed by a company in Rancho Cucamonga, Calif. I am not making up Rancho Cucamonga: It's a real place whose odd-soundlng name, if you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean "Cucamonga Ranch." I am also not making up the poultry safety advance, which was discussed in a lengthy news story by Randyl Drummer in the May 16 issue of the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, sent in by many alert readers.
Before I quote from this story, I need to issue a warning to tasteful readers: You should not - I repeat, not - read the rest of this column if you are likely to be in any way offended by the term "turkey rectums." Speaking of which, the editors of the Nashville Banner will definitely want to take a close look at the following material. Thank you.
The story appears on the Daily Bulletin's business page under the headline Pacer Backing New Use for Glue. It begins, I swear, as follows:
"RANCHO CUCAMONGA - Jim Munn hopes that the government and the poultry industry will get behind his process for gluing chicken and turkey rectums."
Jim Munn, the story explains, is the president of a company called Pacer Technology, which makes Super Glue. Munn, the story states, believes that meat contamination can be reduced by "gluing shut the rectal cavities of turkeys and chicken broilers." (Needless to say, this would be done after the chickens and turkeys have gone to that Big Barnyard in the Sky; otherwise everybody involved would have to be paid a ridiculous amount of money.)
Missingmeds
Just being
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Good morning everyone.
Pengy
Lit's Resident Penguin
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Good morning all.
I'll have breakfast, but do you mind if i cook my own?
http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~SX5N-TYD/Abroad/99Ho&UK/jpg/UK/Ashford/EB.jpg
I'll have breakfast, but do you mind if i cook my own?
http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~SX5N-TYD/Abroad/99Ho&UK/jpg/UK/Ashford/EB.jpg
