Missingmeds
Just being
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2003
- Posts
- 25,831
I asked if you were a spanker or a spankee.
DLL's anything goes thread
- Thread starter DLL
- Start date
Missingmeds
Just being
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2003
- Posts
- 25,831
uh huh....I know what you are doing. 
ram1_2
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 26, 2003
- Posts
- 1,665
DLL said:http://www.marilyn-monroe.org.uk/pictures/monroe12.jpg
Morning, sweeting!
May you receive LESS snow than here!
"Oh! Listen to sound of the merry snowploughs!"
Soft kisses, DLL.......
's Good Morning
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2003
- Posts
- 24,198
FYI 
Calories Burned During Sex
Sex is the most practical and funniest way of losing weight Look how many calories you can burn:
TAKING OFF THE CLOTHES
With her agreement - 12 cal
Without her agreement - 187 cal
TAKING OFF THE BRA
With both hands - 8 cal
With one hand - 12 cal
With one hand being slapped - 37 cal
With the mouth - 85 cal
PUTTING ON THE CONDOM
With erection - 6 cal
Without erection - 315 cal
PRELIMINARIES
Trying to find the clitoris - 8 cal
Trying to find G spot - 92 cal
Without caring at all - 0 cal
WHEN DOING IT
Holding her up - 12 cal
Just on the floor - 8 cal
POSITIONS
Daddy-mummy - 12 cal
69 laying - 8 cal
69 standing up - 112 cal
Trolley - 216 cal
Italian chandelier - 912 cal
HAVING AN ORGASM
Real - 112 cal
Fake - 315 cal
POST ORGASM
Staying in bed - 8 cal
Jumping off the bed - 36 cal
Explaining why you jumped off the bed -816 cal
GETTING THE SECOND ERECTION
Between 16 and 19 years of age -12 cal
from 20 to 29 - 36 cal
from 30 to 39 - 108 cal
from 40 to 49 - 324 cal
from 50 to 59 - 972 cal
over 60 - 2916 cal
PUTTING ON THE CLOTHES
Quietly - 32 cal
Being in a hurry - 98 cal
With her husband opening the door- 218 cal
Calories Burned During Sex
Sex is the most practical and funniest way of losing weight Look how many calories you can burn:
TAKING OFF THE CLOTHES
With her agreement - 12 cal
Without her agreement - 187 cal
TAKING OFF THE BRA
With both hands - 8 cal
With one hand - 12 cal
With one hand being slapped - 37 cal
With the mouth - 85 cal
PUTTING ON THE CONDOM
With erection - 6 cal
Without erection - 315 cal
PRELIMINARIES
Trying to find the clitoris - 8 cal
Trying to find G spot - 92 cal
Without caring at all - 0 cal
WHEN DOING IT
Holding her up - 12 cal
Just on the floor - 8 cal
POSITIONS
Daddy-mummy - 12 cal
69 laying - 8 cal
69 standing up - 112 cal
Trolley - 216 cal
Italian chandelier - 912 cal
HAVING AN ORGASM
Real - 112 cal
Fake - 315 cal
POST ORGASM
Staying in bed - 8 cal
Jumping off the bed - 36 cal
Explaining why you jumped off the bed -816 cal
GETTING THE SECOND ERECTION
Between 16 and 19 years of age -12 cal
from 20 to 29 - 36 cal
from 30 to 39 - 108 cal
from 40 to 49 - 324 cal
from 50 to 59 - 972 cal
over 60 - 2916 cal
PUTTING ON THE CLOTHES
Quietly - 32 cal
Being in a hurry - 98 cal
With her husband opening the door- 218 cal
babydoll2u
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2004
- Posts
- 34,775
Joey3308 said:FYI
Calories Burned During Sex
Sex is the most practical and funniest way of losing weight Look how many calories you can burn:
TAKING OFF THE CLOTHES
With her agreement - 12 cal
Without her agreement - 187 cal
TAKING OFF THE BRA
With both hands - 8 cal
With one hand - 12 cal
With one hand being slapped - 37 cal
With the mouth - 85 cal
PUTTING ON THE CONDOM
With erection - 6 cal
Without erection - 315 cal
PRELIMINARIES
Trying to find the clitoris - 8 cal
Trying to find G spot - 92 cal
Without caring at all - 0 cal
WHEN DOING IT
Holding her up - 12 cal
Just on the floor - 8 cal
POSITIONS
Daddy-mummy - 12 cal
69 laying - 8 cal
69 standing up - 112 cal
Trolley - 216 cal
Italian chandelier - 912 cal
HAVING AN ORGASM
Real - 112 cal
Fake - 315 cal
POST ORGASM
Staying in bed - 8 cal
Jumping off the bed - 36 cal
Explaining why you jumped off the bed -816 cal
GETTING THE SECOND ERECTION
Between 16 and 19 years of age -12 cal
from 20 to 29 - 36 cal
from 30 to 39 - 108 cal
from 40 to 49 - 324 cal
from 50 to 59 - 972 cal
over 60 - 2916 cal
PUTTING ON THE CLOTHES
Quietly - 32 cal
Being in a hurry - 98 cal
With her husband opening the door- 218 cal
ROTFLMFAOLOLOLOLOOOOOOOO. !!!!
funny! way waaayyy funny!
teasing_tim
Me a tease !? :o
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2003
- Posts
- 10,537
Lmao Joey
Hi Everybody
Tim da man 
Hi Everybody
Tim da man
babydoll2u
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2004
- Posts
- 34,775
hi Tim... having a good day?
Peggy
Peggy
teasing_tim
Me a tease !? :o
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2003
- Posts
- 10,537
yes so far, you ?babydoll2u said:hi Tim... having a good day?
Peggy
babydoll2u
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2004
- Posts
- 34,775
teasing_tim said:yes so far, you ?
pretty darn good, thanks
Dumb laws that needed undoing
Louisiana's attempt to ban low-rise pants, New Jersey's ruling against ladies' nights at bars and Texas's absurb "sodomy" laws(no oral) were thankfully overturned this year.
Note to Michigan, where it's still illegal for a woman to get a hair cut without her husband's permission..The closck is still ticking
Louisiana's attempt to ban low-rise pants, New Jersey's ruling against ladies' nights at bars and Texas's absurb "sodomy" laws(no oral) were thankfully overturned this year.
Note to Michigan, where it's still illegal for a woman to get a hair cut without her husband's permission..The closck is still ticking
SilverShamrock
Kitten Tamer
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2003
- Posts
- 2,578
DLL!! Long time no see, gorgeous!! Hope you're doing well - I'm on yahoo messenger if you want to chat some more (Hope you remember me!)
(Hope you remember me!)
Ammo44
Explorer
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2003
- Posts
- 7,930
DLL said:Dumb laws that needed undoing
Louisiana's attempt to ban low-rise pants, New Jersey's ruling against ladies' nights at bars and Texas's absurb "sodomy" laws(no oral) were thankfully overturned this year.
Note to Michigan, where it's still illegal for a woman to get a hair cut without her husband's permission..The closck is still ticking
How these laws stay on the books is totally mystifying to me....
Originally posted by SilverShamrock
DLL!! Long time no see, gorgeous!! Hope you're doing well - I'm on yahoo messenger if you want to chat some more
hugggggs sham ..welcome aboard ..you will fit in nicely here we have a bunch of psychos here....xoxoxoxo
SilverShamrock
Kitten Tamer
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2003
- Posts
- 2,578
DLL said:hugggggs sham ..welcome aboard ..you will fit in nicely here we have a bunch of psychos here....xoxoxoxo
Yay, psychos!! Hehe, betcha haven't got a crazy New Zealander yet though - hey, I can be the Token SouthHemsiphereererrr ... um, okay, that's not even a real word. Oh well.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE A NEW YORKER WHEN…
you are serenaded at the subway entrance by two teenage girls playing the classical violin. They are so good, their open violin cases are overflowing with dollar bills.
When you see conflict on the street between strangers you do one of two things only: enjoy the show, or mind your business. Intervention NEVER crosses your mind!
You vacation anywhere else (The Midwest, south, west) and are totally amazed at the courtesy/politeness of strangers and at the same time equally annoyed at how long it actually takes for them to say, "Heeeelllllooooo, Hoooowwww aaaaaaaarrrre yaaaaaalllll doooooing tooooodaaaaaaay?".
You argue how to pronounce LIRR, even though you never use it.
you consider White Plains and Yonkers to be "Upstate."
You are not shocked by the price of a $15 martini, but think that it is highway robbery to pay $6 to go through the tunnel to get back into your city.
you're afraid to move into a suburban house, because you know there won't be a 'super' around to fix things if something goes wrong.
You've asked bums for change.
Staten Island is nothing more than a dump and a mall
Since the sprinklers in the park never seem to come on until it's raining, you resort to unscrewing the cap from the fire hydrant every year.
When you were a child, you waved at firefighters, just because.
There are four pizzerias and three churches within five blocks of your house
When you call the Staten Island Ferry your free date cruise ship
When you stop to get lemon ice from a street vendor on 42nd Street and don't care if 250 pedestrians have to walk around you...all showing their annoyance.
you know that Queens and Long Island are NOT the same thing!
when you and your brothers could walk to the '60s World's Fair in Flushing Meadow Park any time you wanted to.
when a kid could have a lot of fun at the Adventurer's Inn.
when you're proudly part of a high school graduating class of 1,264 kids...and when you don't learn until much, much later that people outside of NYC would think that was unusually large.
You're visiting a friend in Virginia and he's complaining about his mortgage payment on a two story colonial home on 3/4 acre of property and you silently take note that it's nearly as much as you pay for renting a modest one bedroom apartment in Manhattan.
You know you're a New Yorker when you'd rather not sit down in a subway car on a HOT summer day, because that would put you directly in the line of fire person's armpit hanging on to the hand rest directly above you.
An obviously mentally-disturbed person sits down next you on the subway, gesturing in a threatening manner and uttering phrases with the words "kill" in them, and you have to think whether or not you want to give up the seat. After realizing it's rush hour, you decide to keep the seat.
you know you're a New Yorker when you're waiting for the subway and you're disappointed that there's no guitarist, drummer, comedian, clown, opera singer, sax player or just-plain-crazy person to help pass the time.
When you eat your bagels with a "schmeer"...(sp?)
you get off an airplane in, say, Colorado, rent a car, and the first thing you do out of the lot is check the horn, completely scandalizing everyone in earshot.
When you sit through movie credits to find out who the foley artists were.
when you can get whatever you want at any time of night with little trouble.
You're in Central Park waiting for your dog to finish pooping, and you look up and realize that people all over the world dream of someday seeing the place where you walk your dog.
And you still call Hell's Kitchen, Hell's Kitchen and are APPALLED at it's being called Clinton (even though this was one of its names as well, but that was before our time).
You know that all other cities are actually towns...
After the shock of the terror attacks waned, you realize you miss the violinist who played "Ave Maria" nonstop at the WTC/Chambers street station...
You mock those who wear I Love NY t-shirts because, quite naturally, they're not New Yorkers...
College freshmen from New York do not have driver's licenses, and they're shocked that all their non-NY friends do...
You know that there are no eggs in an egg cream. You know that there is no Pie in paisano. You know that Shuyster and Goniff is the name of a law firm. You know that Wednesday is Prince spagetti day. You know that there is no jelly in a jelly apple. You know that Pickles do come in a barrel. You played 70 innings of stickball and you never kept score You played "stoopball" as a kid. Your best friends were Jewish, Italian, Irish and they all lived on your block. You know what "Block" means.
When you don't have anything else to say about a topic of discussion, you throw up your hands and say, "Whadda ya gonna do?"
You have a cup of coffee (only) delivered to you from the local deli...and they'll gladly do it.
You go away to school in another city (5th largest in the country) and you insult it by calling it "a cute little city", bitching about the asinine public transportation system, moaning the dearth of post- midnight options. You confuse everyone when you refer to "the City" and assume that they mean NY too. You think that everyone understands the boroughs. You grew up using Yiddish, Italian, and Spanish phrases even though you're Italian Catholic. You get your friends hooked on real bagels that you bring back from home. You walk without fear not because you're naive but because you know exactly what you're doing. You don't cringe at panhandlers anymore. You cross streets between the traffic with perfect timing. People are fascinated and/or repelled by how fast you walk, how fast you talk, how much you curse, and how funny your accent is. You know you walk and talk at the right pace, you don't notice that you curse, and you don't have an accent - they do!
You’re talking to a friend from another part of the country, and you're shocked that they hunt, fish, or actually had a football team at their high school.
You curse at the drivers when walking and curse at the walkers when driving.
You know you are a New Yorker when you can eat a salty pretzel, talk on your cell phone to your friend all while drinking your Sta** Bu**s coffee
you know you’re a new Yorker when, the smell of piss and puke doesn’t deter you from 330am falafel.
your friend Kevin has seen people having sex on the street more than once.
you walk everywhere, miss it when you don’t, and always start sentences with, "in new york..."
you dont balk at the idea of paying 70 dollars for levis, yes, levis
if the Chinese food isn’t greasy enough, you think twice about going next time (10th street)
you joke with your friends about the thrax
you are completely and utterly shocked when someone doesn't have a cell phone
when you go into someone's apartment and start wondering what rent is and mentally assigning a price based on size, bathroom, etc. –doorman, view, walkup?
You think nothing of dating someone who lives a two hour, three transfer subway ride away
xoxoxoxoxoxo
you are serenaded at the subway entrance by two teenage girls playing the classical violin. They are so good, their open violin cases are overflowing with dollar bills.
When you see conflict on the street between strangers you do one of two things only: enjoy the show, or mind your business. Intervention NEVER crosses your mind!
You vacation anywhere else (The Midwest, south, west) and are totally amazed at the courtesy/politeness of strangers and at the same time equally annoyed at how long it actually takes for them to say, "Heeeelllllooooo, Hoooowwww aaaaaaaarrrre yaaaaaalllll doooooing tooooodaaaaaaay?".
You argue how to pronounce LIRR, even though you never use it.
you consider White Plains and Yonkers to be "Upstate."
You are not shocked by the price of a $15 martini, but think that it is highway robbery to pay $6 to go through the tunnel to get back into your city.
you're afraid to move into a suburban house, because you know there won't be a 'super' around to fix things if something goes wrong.
You've asked bums for change.
Staten Island is nothing more than a dump and a mall
Since the sprinklers in the park never seem to come on until it's raining, you resort to unscrewing the cap from the fire hydrant every year.
When you were a child, you waved at firefighters, just because.
There are four pizzerias and three churches within five blocks of your house
When you call the Staten Island Ferry your free date cruise ship
When you stop to get lemon ice from a street vendor on 42nd Street and don't care if 250 pedestrians have to walk around you...all showing their annoyance.
you know that Queens and Long Island are NOT the same thing!
when you and your brothers could walk to the '60s World's Fair in Flushing Meadow Park any time you wanted to.
when a kid could have a lot of fun at the Adventurer's Inn.
when you're proudly part of a high school graduating class of 1,264 kids...and when you don't learn until much, much later that people outside of NYC would think that was unusually large.
You're visiting a friend in Virginia and he's complaining about his mortgage payment on a two story colonial home on 3/4 acre of property and you silently take note that it's nearly as much as you pay for renting a modest one bedroom apartment in Manhattan.
You know you're a New Yorker when you'd rather not sit down in a subway car on a HOT summer day, because that would put you directly in the line of fire person's armpit hanging on to the hand rest directly above you.
An obviously mentally-disturbed person sits down next you on the subway, gesturing in a threatening manner and uttering phrases with the words "kill" in them, and you have to think whether or not you want to give up the seat. After realizing it's rush hour, you decide to keep the seat.
you know you're a New Yorker when you're waiting for the subway and you're disappointed that there's no guitarist, drummer, comedian, clown, opera singer, sax player or just-plain-crazy person to help pass the time.
When you eat your bagels with a "schmeer"...(sp?)
you get off an airplane in, say, Colorado, rent a car, and the first thing you do out of the lot is check the horn, completely scandalizing everyone in earshot.
When you sit through movie credits to find out who the foley artists were.
when you can get whatever you want at any time of night with little trouble.
You're in Central Park waiting for your dog to finish pooping, and you look up and realize that people all over the world dream of someday seeing the place where you walk your dog.
And you still call Hell's Kitchen, Hell's Kitchen and are APPALLED at it's being called Clinton (even though this was one of its names as well, but that was before our time).
You know that all other cities are actually towns...
After the shock of the terror attacks waned, you realize you miss the violinist who played "Ave Maria" nonstop at the WTC/Chambers street station...
You mock those who wear I Love NY t-shirts because, quite naturally, they're not New Yorkers...
College freshmen from New York do not have driver's licenses, and they're shocked that all their non-NY friends do...
You know that there are no eggs in an egg cream. You know that there is no Pie in paisano. You know that Shuyster and Goniff is the name of a law firm. You know that Wednesday is Prince spagetti day. You know that there is no jelly in a jelly apple. You know that Pickles do come in a barrel. You played 70 innings of stickball and you never kept score You played "stoopball" as a kid. Your best friends were Jewish, Italian, Irish and they all lived on your block. You know what "Block" means.
When you don't have anything else to say about a topic of discussion, you throw up your hands and say, "Whadda ya gonna do?"
You have a cup of coffee (only) delivered to you from the local deli...and they'll gladly do it.
You go away to school in another city (5th largest in the country) and you insult it by calling it "a cute little city", bitching about the asinine public transportation system, moaning the dearth of post- midnight options. You confuse everyone when you refer to "the City" and assume that they mean NY too. You think that everyone understands the boroughs. You grew up using Yiddish, Italian, and Spanish phrases even though you're Italian Catholic. You get your friends hooked on real bagels that you bring back from home. You walk without fear not because you're naive but because you know exactly what you're doing. You don't cringe at panhandlers anymore. You cross streets between the traffic with perfect timing. People are fascinated and/or repelled by how fast you walk, how fast you talk, how much you curse, and how funny your accent is. You know you walk and talk at the right pace, you don't notice that you curse, and you don't have an accent - they do!
You’re talking to a friend from another part of the country, and you're shocked that they hunt, fish, or actually had a football team at their high school.
You curse at the drivers when walking and curse at the walkers when driving.
You know you are a New Yorker when you can eat a salty pretzel, talk on your cell phone to your friend all while drinking your Sta** Bu**s coffee
you know you’re a new Yorker when, the smell of piss and puke doesn’t deter you from 330am falafel.
your friend Kevin has seen people having sex on the street more than once.
you walk everywhere, miss it when you don’t, and always start sentences with, "in new york..."
you dont balk at the idea of paying 70 dollars for levis, yes, levis
if the Chinese food isn’t greasy enough, you think twice about going next time (10th street)
you joke with your friends about the thrax
you are completely and utterly shocked when someone doesn't have a cell phone
when you go into someone's apartment and start wondering what rent is and mentally assigning a price based on size, bathroom, etc. –doorman, view, walkup?
You think nothing of dating someone who lives a two hour, three transfer subway ride away
xoxoxoxoxoxo
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