Do Women Hate Men?

[brightlyiburn]

Maybe some people are jumping to conclusions about me just wanting sex. Yes that's part of what I want but I'd also like to have some female friends. It seems that most of the oppisite gender around here aren't interested in friendship. Some guys do indeed have an easier time in making female friends.

I guess I just need to open up alot more and get to talking to women. I just wish I knew what to say without sounding like a complete idiot.

Lemme just put this out on the table, since men seem to be under the impression that women are mysterious, magical creatures that never get rejected.
Now, I'm speaking in general terms here. Suppose there's a woman you'd like to be friends with. Now, unless she comes out and tells you how she feels, you may not know. She may like you, and might be afraid to become your friend because, if she should start to have stronger feelings, what will she do if you don't feel the same?
Women have those fears too, yanno.

 

[shereads]

Having trouble working up much sympathy.

It's been 15 years since the last time I got any. And I'm not holding my breath waiting for it to happen again since I think I'm more likely to win the lottery.

But that says nothing about the quality of person I am. I don't need a woman in my life to validate my existence.

I've never ever said this to a man or other person before: Rob Jr. needs some pussy. It will build confidence, and confidence is key.

Read Cdog's post above. Most women, like most men, are hesitant to get involved in a relationship - platonic or sexual - that looks like it might turn into an ongoing battle to boost the other person's self esteem.

If you're interested in sex alone, that's available to just about everybody and is a matter of negotiation. If it's companionship with sex that appeals, there's someone out there who wants the same thing and has also given up on looking. If one of you doesn't keep trying, you both lose. Your economic circumstances might be effectively countered by the fact that you're brilliant, you're a writer, you have a vivid sexual imagination, you're witty, literate, socially aware and have apparently gone through hell and come out with your sense of humor intact, if your gorgeous smile is any indication.

If you're limiting your search to women who want or need financial support, or who can't enjoy an inexpensive date, finances are a concern. But with a little creativity and a picnic basket, it's possible to show someone a great time without robbing a bank.

Find her, Rob. She needs you.

 

[shereads]

Sher, your avatar is really nice. It's f 2.8 with 1/250 second exposure and bounce flash, isn't it?

It's 2 years with credit for time served if the photographer recognizes it. But I love the snug feel of the latex.

 

[amicus]

On and off the road again on a book selling tour, dropping in for just a moment...

At the risk of even more ridicule in terms of the 'women hating men' syndrome that is prevalent, I venture this...

Events in the past forty years or so, have combined to challenge traditional gender interactions.

The 'masculine' male has become an obsolete commodity.

Society, (outside the Marine Corps) seems to have little need for the brash, confident, agressive male who seeks to dominate all that he encounters.

Men are, by nature, not sensitive to most things that the female holds in high regard. Before, that worked, not perfectly, but it worked as the female automatically assumed a submissive role in all things.

Not so any longer. Women have, in part, assumed the role of independence, aggressiveness and self sufficiency.

Women look upon government and law as a source of empowerment and gaining equality in the market place and everywhere else.

The poor alpha male, banging around like a bull in a china shop finds himself unneeded and unwanted in most of contemporary society.

To the thread starter, your exasperation with women is a much wider dilemma than you might realize.

Women nowadays, tend to choose the passive, sensitive male almost as a counterpart to her to her quest for independence.

This gender merging has led to many social changes as women often find other women more akin to their desires. And men, finding that his 'natural' demeanor is no longer acceptable in polite society, looks elsewhere for gratification.

Shoot the messenger.

Since women have demeaned the feminity of the submissive, 'helping' woman in a relationship and sought to find an 'equal' partner in life; things have become somewhat of a mess.

Many 'men' like a poster on this thread, have been alone and celibate for a long time, as they simply cannot relate to the modern woman who insists on having complete control of her life.

Those men will not compromise and be 'dominated' by a woman, neither will they seek gratification with other men.

They grow old and die, bitter without ever understanding why they have been excluded.

There are few, if any, solutions to this feminist revolution that has destroyed the family and driven men and women so far apart.

This will neither solve your problem, nor answer your questions I fear.

A solution more and more men and women are turning to is organized religion. Within those various faiths, the gender role 'sometimes' remains more defined than in mainstream society.

So, if you can stomach the god thing, attend a few 'young people' (match your age to the group) associations within a church.

In any association between people, there is a leader and a follower. The follower in marriage, used to support the leader in all things. They 'combined' efforts to build a family and a life for themselves.

It sounds so simple.

I wish it were.

Will be gone for a while....

amicus...

 

[NoJo]

It's 2 years with credit for time served if the photographer recognizes it. But I love the snug feel of the latex.

Oh, I was seeing it the wrong way round, like one of those trick pictures with the faces and the candlstick.

I thought the black was your skin and the pink was a tee shirt.

 

[shereads]

I guess I just need to open up alot more and get to talking to women. I just wish I knew what to say without sounding like a complete idiot. [/B]

"I wish I knew what to say without sounding like a complete idiiot" is a good start. Seriously. Not because it's a cute thing to say but because it's what you mean. Say what's on your mind and forget about trying to impress us. Until you've earned your black belt in b.s., we'll always see through that. So set it aside for now, and try talking to woman the way you'd talk to a person.

 

[shereads]

Oh, I was seeing it the wrong way round, like one of those trick pictures with the faces and the candlstick.

I thought the black was your skin and the pink was a tee shirt.

And I thought that was a candlestick in your AV, but now I realize that you're just glad to see me.

 

[shereads]

I just want to know what happened to the hamster.

She took a sabbatical and spent a year backpacking in Europe. Had some adventures, settled down with a soccer ball, found out he was seeing someone else. Went through this self-destructive phase where she hung out under the bleachers at basketball games. Was nearly crushed by an errant dribble at a Miami Heat practice. After months of physical therapy and some counseling, she's just starting to date again.

 

[Guest]

 

[cloudy]

My advice to the thread starter would be to stop thinking of women as a separate species, and start thinking of us as human, just like you.

 

[rgraham666]

My advice to the thread starter would be to stop thinking of women as a separate species, and start thinking of us as human, just like you.

That's good advice, generally.

 

[brightlyiburn]

My advice to the thread starter would be to stop thinking of women as a separate species, and start thinking of us as human, just like you.

Seconded.

 

[jeffreysub]

The fact is that I've indeed looked upon women as humans for a long time but all that really changed when I began going out with this one girl. Her name was Juanita and lets put it this way, after all the head games she played and everything I did for her I became nothing more than a tool of hers. She mocked my emotions and when the subject came up who she found attractive with one of her girlfriends my name never once came up. Wasn't that sweet? So needlesstosay I began to say screw looking at women that way.

Especially after she threw me out like a bunch of trash when I told her my feelings and found comfort with another guy. That probably hurt more than anything. Sigh it's already been like a year months and I'm still having the hardest time getting over this. Perhaps counceling will help but I'm reluctant to go through that agian because most of them just tell me wat I want to here.

 

[LadyJeanne]

The fact is that I've indeed looked upon women as humans for a long time but all that really changed when I began going out with this one girl. Her name was Juanita and lets put it this way, after all the head games she played and everything I did for her I became nothing more than a tool of hers. She mocked my emotions and when the subject came up who she found attractive with one of her girlfriends my name never once came up. Wasn't that sweet? So needlesstosay I began to say screw looking at women that way.

Especially after she threw me out like a bunch of trash when I told her my feelings and found comfort with another guy. That probably hurt more than anything. Sigh it's already been like a year months and I'm still having the hardest time getting over this. Perhaps counceling will help but I'm reluctant to go through that agian because most of them just tell me wat I want to here.

The fact that you're ambivalent about women because of Juanita is why you are having trouble attracting other women. WE CAN TELL. Ambivalence is not attractive. Nor do we want to be the woman with whom you work out your Juanita baggage.

There are plenty of men out there who love women. We'd rather be with them.

 

[cloudy]

The fact is that I've indeed looked upon women as humans for a long time but all that really changed when I began going out with this one girl. Her name was Juanita and lets put it this way, after all the head games she played and everything I did for her I became nothing more than a tool of hers. She mocked my emotions and when the subject came up who she found attractive with one of her girlfriends my name never once came up. Wasn't that sweet? So needlesstosay I began to say screw looking at women that way.

Especially after she threw me out like a bunch of trash when I told her my feelings and found comfort with another guy. That probably hurt more than anything. Sigh it's already been like a year months and I'm still having the hardest time getting over this. Perhaps counceling will help but I'm reluctant to go through that agian because most of them just tell me wat I want to here.

Aha! Zere's your problem.

I'm not being insulting here, but you must be very young. If you weren't, then you would realize that one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole barrel.

Sure, there's folks out there that will hurt you, women and men....doesn't mean they all will.

Expecting to go through life without getting hurt is just a tad unrealistic, no?

Instead of asking why women hate men, perhaps you should have asked a more personal question, such as why you hate all women.

 

[CharleyH]

"Women hate men" is no more accurate than "hamsters hate basketballs."

But hamsters dooo! SPLAT!



there you go Helen

 

[jeffreysub]

First off I'm tired of the people here who throw insults at me and put words into my mouth. I never said I hated women for crying out loud, I ment that I am reluctant to get involved with women not just because of Juanita but a few past bad apples I've had to deal with! I am worried that I'll discover that every girl I go with turns out to be just a complete judgemental bitch. I also didn't meen to emply that straight women hate men but I've heard alot of condesending and rude remarks that make me wonder.

Jeesh why post anything at all of I just get remarks by a bunch of judgemental biggots? Not trying to come across as rude here but it sure seems that everything I've said has been turned agains't me making me look like the villian when they really don't even know what happened.

 

[cloudy]

First off I'm tired of the people here who throw insults at me and put words into my mouth. I never said I hated women for crying out loud, I ment that I am reluctant to get involved with women not just because of Juanita but a few past bad apples I've had to deal with! I am worried that I'll discover that every girl I go with turns out to be just a complete judgemental bitch. I also didn't meen to emply that straight women hate men but I've heard alot of condesending and rude remarks that make me wonder.

Jeesh why post anything at all of I just get remarks by a bunch of judgemental biggots? Not trying to come across as rude here but it sure seems that everything I've said has been turned agains't me making me look like the villian when they really don't even know what happened.

I wasn't judging you, but why ask for advice if you're not willing to consider anything that's not what you want to hear?

Straight women don't hate all men, I think that's been made abundantly clear. I wasn't trying to insult you, I was suggesting that maybe the problem wasn't that we "hate" men, but that it's inside you, instead.

*shrug*

Don't ask if you're not willing to listen to the answer.

 

[brightlyiburn]

First off I'm tired of the people here who throw insults at me and put words into my mouth. I never said I hated women for crying out loud, I ment that I am reluctant to get involved with women not just because of Juanita but a few past bad apples I've had to deal with! I am worried that I'll discover that every girl I go with turns out to be just a complete judgemental bitch. I also didn't meen to emply that straight women hate men but I've heard alot of condesending and rude remarks that make me wonder.

Jeesh why post anything at all of I just get remarks by a bunch of judgemental biggots? Not trying to come across as rude here but it sure seems that everything I've said has been turned agains't me making me look like the villian when they really don't even know what happened.

What do you expect? See, we were under the impression that you wanted advice, not an ego-stroking.
My advice? Stop complaining and do something about it. Lords knows I've been screwed over by people enough times to leave most in the fetal position for the rest of their lives. Guys most especially have taken an express pleasure in stabbing me in the back, lying to me, and cheating on me. I could piss and moan about it and never try and find someone worthwhile.
Instead I gave my phone number to the cute guy at the hardware store. It's called a risk. Life ain't worth living if you don't take some of those.

 

[LadyJeanne]

[No message]

 

[jeffreysub]

Sorry guys I had a really bad night. Went to see a movie and ended up getting my money refunded because a bunch of loud mouthed teenagers wouldn't shutup. What's the point of seeing a movie where people just don't give a lot of respect?

Anyways I'm really to listen to critism and to be frankly honest it was my fault for choosing such bitches. I knew the warning signs were there so most of it was indeed my fault. Most of the hate that I've been feeling has been directed more at myself than at anyone else. I'm now making a point of overcoming these negative feelings and untill I do I don't think it's a good idea to consider any form of relationship untill then.

Sorry about all this.

 

[rgraham666]

De nada, jeff.

On that last post I can offer some useful advice. Forgiveness.

Forgive yourself for making mistakes. Making mistakes is not the same thing as being stupid. Although you wouldn't know it from the way people talk.

Once you forgive yourself, you'll find it a lot easier to forgive others.

And once the forgiveness is done, you'll be carrying a lot less weight around.

Trust me on this one. It's a lesson that took me years to learn.

 

[cloudy]

De nada, jeff.

On that last post I can offer some useful advice. Forgiveness.

Forgive yourself for making mistakes. Making mistakes is not the same thing as being stupid. Although you wouldn't know it from the way people talk.

Once you forgive yourself, you'll find it a lot easier to forgive others.

And once the forgiveness is done, you'll be carrying a lot less weight around.

Trust me on this one. It's a lesson that took me years to learn.

Smart man.

Something else that occurred to me as I read this, and the post before it sorta digs into the psychology aspect.

Sometimes, even though we think we want commitment, and a deep relationship with someone, we're very ambivalent about that inside. As a way to compensate, we subconciously choose a partner that we know, on some level, won't give us that deep, committed relationship.

Another way to look at it is the self-fulfilling prophecy. We think it's going to go wrong, we're absolutely sure it will, and you will either sabotage it yourself, or choose someone inappropriate, thus making your "prophecy" come true, and validating the thought that "nothing I do turns out right."

Neither one of those may be true about you, jeffrey....I don't know you well enough to say, but it's something to think about, anyway.

 

[brightlyiburn]

And sometimes we're just stupidly naive. Really, really, really stupidly naive.

 

[cloudy]

And sometimes we're just stupidly naive. Really, really, really stupidly naive.

Yeah, well.....that too.

Been there, done that.