Do you believe in God?

[Recidiva]

away from your computer so you could go to the post office and mail that package to Shank.....

Now I want a package and a ring with some Nezatch in it.

 

[Shankara20]

Now I want a package and a ring with some Nezatch in it.

want = suffering...

 

[Recidiva]

want = suffering...

Getting a package and not sharing is greedy.

 

[Shankara20]

Getting a package and not sharing is greedy.

*sigh*

I am perfect in my imperfection

 

[Recidiva]

*sigh*

I am perfect in my imperfection

I know. I might not get any mail, but if I can keep you talking, it's good.

I have decided that Fritos and diet soda are my new desire, and I can get those right now.

They're not as good as the previously-stated wants, but they have the benefit of being ready to hand and less geographically difficult to achieve.

Fleeting want = suffering for a nanosecond.

Fritos = yummmm.

 

[Shankara20]

I know. I might not get any mail, but if I can keep you talking, it's good.

I have decided that Fritos and diet soda are my new desire, and I can get those right now.

They're not as good as the previously-stated wants, but they have the benefit of being ready to hand and less geographically difficult to achieve.

Fleeting want = suffering for a nanosecond.

Fritos = yummmm.

Chili is good with Fritos

I know what is to be in the package
in this case knowing = attachment
not having right now = unfilled sexual desire = more suffering

*sigh*

 

[Recidiva]

Chili is good with Fritos

I know what is to be in the package
in this case knowing = attachment
not having right now = unfilled sexual desire = more suffering

*sigh*

Mmmm! And I made some nomnom lamb stew yesterday too...leftover leg of lamb, whole thing thrown in...carrots and potatoes and barley and rosemary, sage and thyme from the garden...

Well, unfilled sexual desire sucks. But there's always battery operated possibilties.

I have no problem with scaling down my wants so I can get 'em done.

And I believe in shopping and cooking. And gardens.

I did try believing in being vegetarian for a while. It didn't stick.

 

[graceanne]

Yeah, it happens enough that I used to think it HAD to be reincarnation.

But I'm really starting to think that memory isn't really just inside human heads and probably is some aspect of matter itself.

I think of it more this way...if life is equated to an ocean...now the ocean's been there and held all these life forms and stories and each bit of matter in that ocean and every water molecule carries some part of the memory of the ocean.

One human life might be a wave in that ocean. Depending on a person's access to the memory of what's in that wave, you can theoretically extrapolate the history of the ocean. You can be in Bermuda but "remember" what lapping upon Iceland's shore was like because likely some of your molecules were doing that back in history.

It's not linear and it's jumbled but it's SO CLEAR. There's no use denying it, but it's not necessarily there to teach or test or anything supernatural.

That's my working theory so far, and it's continued to answer my questions and make sense of all the random weirdness that pops in and out of my head and consciousness. It explains all the chaotic weirdness that might end up being interpreted as "fate" or "karma" but is just memory, and not a memory that's even attached in a linear choice, but attached through the forms we take.

I think I'm just an accidental reader of the memory of things. I didn't develop the skill and I was just born with it. Also one of my first memories is looking at my own fist held over my little tiny head in my crib and thinking the equivalent of "Fuck. Not again." I was born tired.

There's nothing wrong with just being the wave, not being introspective of every molecule, and just being "WHEEEE!"

I'm learning how to do that, but that's a skill I have to learn and wasn't born with.

I have lots of memories of living. I have absolutely no memory of between-lives or choosing. And that's significant.

Yeah, I've been accused, many many times, of being an old soul. A few Christians, who don't believe in reincarnation, have called me that, too. My mom recalls me understanding things that no small child should have at a very young age. (When I was two we were visiting here in oregon, and trying to fly back to Minnesota, and the airport was snowed in. I heard Mom talking on the phone about it, and when she got off I quite clearly said 'is the airport snowed in? how will we get home?')

But as for reincarnation? Eh, I'm not so sure. I know that the biblical scholars say it's not true, but I also know that John the baptist was the reincarnation of . . . Isaiah? Ezekiel? I forget, one of the old profits. And I haven't seen anywhere that says it's not possible. It's one of those things I just don't worry about. Whether there's reincarnation or not makes little difference in my life. I'm still stuck here. I don't get to leave for awhile. I have things I need to do while I'm here. I PRAY I don't have to do this again.

 

[Shankara20]

I did try believing in being vegetarian for a while. It didn't stick.

Did you consider using Teflon? Farberware? T-Fal? Calphalon?
Aren't they all non-stick?

 

[Shankara20]

Well, unfilled sexual desire sucks. But there's always battery operated possibilties.

battery operated panties

 

[Recidiva]

Yeah, I've been accused, many many times, of being an old soul. A few Christians, who don't believe in reincarnation, have called me that, too. My mom recalls me understanding things that no small child should have at a very young age. (When I was two we were visiting here in oregon, and trying to fly back to Minnesota, and the airport was snowed in. I heard Mom talking on the phone about it, and when she got off I quite clearly said 'is the airport snowed in? how will we get home?')

But as for reincarnation? Eh, I'm not so sure. I know that the biblical scholars say it's not true, but I also know that John the baptist was the reincarnation of . . . Isaiah? Ezekiel? I forget, one of the old profits. And I haven't seen anywhere that says it's not possible. It's one of those things I just don't worry about. Whether there's reincarnation or not makes little difference in my life. I'm still stuck here. I don't get to leave for awhile. I have things I need to do while I'm here. I PRAY I don't have to do this again.

I'm not sure either. I'm also kinda uneasy around people who are absolutely sure.

I've had my own weirdness with wanting to die, even attempting to kill myself, and having it...not work out, by weird inexplicable intervention or whatever.

It was like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. And I ultimately came to the same sort of decision - make the most of each day.

(giggles at the description of profits...I'm sorry, it's mean twice because it's a typo and making fun of Christianity...forgive me.)

I don't want to do this again either. I didn't want to do it this time.

 

[Recidiva]

Did you consider using Teflon? Farberware? T-Fal? Calphalon?
Aren't they all non-stick?

Mmmm...Calphalon.

Now I love you more 'cause you spelled it correctly.

I'm so damned shallow.

 

[Recidiva]

battery operated panties

What do they do...pull themselves down or up?

Neato.

 

[graceanne]

I'm not sure either. I'm also kinda uneasy around people who are absolutely sure.

I've had my own weirdness with wanting to die, even attempting to kill myself, and having it...not work out, by weird inexplicable intervention or whatever.

It was like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. And I ultimately came to the same sort of decision - make the most of each day.

(giggles at the description of profits...I'm sorry, it's mean twice because it's a typo and making fun of Christianity...forgive me.)

I don't want to do this again either. I didn't want to do it this time.

I've attempted suicide twice, to my knowledge. I say to my knowledge, because I was rereading a journal I used to keep and it mentioned something about an attempt I don't recall.

I told my kids once that I look forward to going to heaven and being with Jesus. That death isn't something to be feared, but embraced. That's how I feel about it. I want to see my kids grow. I wouldn't mind seeing a grandchild or two, but I have NO INTEREST in living a long time.

 

[Recidiva]

I've attempted suicide twice, to my knowledge. I say to my knowledge, because I was rereading a journal I used to keep and it mentioned something about an attempt I don't recall.

I told my kids once that I look forward to going to heaven and being with Jesus. That death isn't something to be feared, but embraced. That's how I feel about it. I want to see my kids grow. I wouldn't mind seeing a grandchild or two, but I have NO INTEREST in living a long time.

I'm the same way. I'm not really morbid about death, it just seems...relaxing. I'm as embracing of death as I am life.

And sometimes I just really want a nap.

 

[graceanne]

I'm the same way. I'm not really morbid about death, it just seems...relaxing. I'm as embracing of death as I am life.

And sometimes I just really want a nap.

AMEN! The whole nap thing, especially. It's like 'C'mon, God. Just a small break?'

I've been accused of being morbid, but I'm not. I just don't think it's a bad thing. My mom thinks that helped cushion me with my dad's death, that I think it's just the next step. It's not goodbye for forever, but a see you later.

I don't actively seek death anymore. I have a responsibility to my children to be here. If I'm taken it won't be because I gave up. But if death comes calling, I'll go with a smile on my face.

 

[Shankara20]

I don't actively seek death anymore. I have a responsibility to my children to be here. If I'm taken it won't be because I gave up. But if death comes calling, I'll go with a smile on my face.

I have not considered actively calling death to me, but at times I've longed for its visit. Tired of living I have been. Those feelings are not active with me now.

 

[graceanne]

I have not considered actively calling death to me, but at times I've longed for its visit. Tired of living I have been. Those feelings are not active with me now.

I've been tired for a long time. I don't recall ever not being tired of being here.

 

[Recidiva]

AMEN! The whole nap thing, especially. It's like 'C'mon, God. Just a small break?'

I've been accused of being morbid, but I'm not. I just don't think it's a bad thing. My mom thinks that helped cushion me with my dad's death, that I think it's just the next step. It's not goodbye for forever, but a see you later.

I don't actively seek death anymore. I have a responsibility to my children to be here. If I'm taken it won't be because I gave up. But if death comes calling, I'll go with a smile on my face.

Well, yeah, it's a help at funerals. I grasped my brother's suicide right away. Five stages of grief over by the end of the phone call. I also think suicide should be legal. I know, I'm fun at parties. You know that game where you are asked - if you had three wishes, what would they be? First wish is always and has always been "I wish I hadn't been born."

Seriously, can't we just have a pause button? Rewind? Something useful?

Having kids stopped my deathseeking behavior. But if we're talking restful meditation, sometimes just getting to sleep can be easier with thinking "One more day closer to dying. Yeah."

 

[Recidiva]

I have not considered actively calling death to me, but at times I've longed for its visit. Tired of living I have been. Those feelings are not active with me now.

I was born tired. Theoretically it's a Pisces thing.

 

[WriterDom]

Visit a nursing home. To me that's worse than death.

 

[00Syd]

away from your computer so you could go to the post office and mail that package to Shank.....

I haven't gotten a chance yet because I'm home for spring break but I'm going back to school on Sunday and I have an envelope there that's all ready to go So..... soon

 

[midwestyankee]

Visit a nursing home. To me that's worse than death.

I worked in one part time my senior year in college. Some of the residents were absolutely fascinating people (i.e., the 94 year old former music department chairman of my college) and some were simply very sad (i.e., the 31 year old guy who'd crashed his motorcycle when not wearing a helmet; it was sad to have to feed him daily).

 

[Shankara20]

So..... soon

once again - a reason to live....

 

[midwestyankee]

once again - a reason to live....

Shank believes! Shank believes!