Do you ever worry that your stories might reveal your identity?

I don’t even have a basement. I would like one, though. I’d like to be a cult leader too. Long as my female followers are beautiful and suitably devoted.

No, Mom, I would prefer you not join.
 
Are you sure? When the pool of people is in the millions?
Millions across the world, sure. As soon as you're on a group for your town, or university, or profession or hobby or disability etc, you've narrowed it down to a few hundred.

Or even on international lists. Someone posts 'I live in (local government area) and my kid is no.1 on the wait list for a school and the admissions policy is (unusual policy that only one school in the area has)', then if your kid is no.2 on the wait list for that school, it's obvious who they are.

Or say I mention I'm blind and have a guide dog (I'm not and don't). You've immediately narrowed down the 65 million Brits to under 4000. Under 2000 seeing as I'm female. 500 in London. If my dog is an unusual breed, or I mention my job or nearest station, that's probably identified me conclusively.

If someone on a forum I'm on posts about going to a yodelling convention and then their bell-ringing hobby, I'm going to wonder if that might be the yodelling bell-ringer I know, and checking some of their posting history should confirm if they are or aren't.

Or, last week, someone commented on a forum with a username of someone I knew a decade ago, which they'd used for years. Now a 'Sarah1971xxx' could be one of many, but as soon as you concatenate random words, it gets increasingly unlikely that there's two people online called lychee_chair_kisser (made-up example).

So yes, in my 30 years online I've tripped over many people I know, or gained enough info to doxx someone if I wanted.
 
So far, the stories I have written are about my college days, which were 10 years ago, so I am not too worried. I have changed all the names and tried to be vague on locations, so I am sure that helps. I’ve been asked if my stories are real. I always respond by saying I take a lot of artistic liberties.
 
In a word, yes.
My policy here is, if my mother ever found my stories, would I still be able to look her in the eye? That's one reason why my sex-scenes tend to be somewhat vanilla (another is, put simply, that's what I like).
 
In a word, yes.
My policy here is, if my mother ever found my stories, would I still be able to look her in the eye? That's one reason why my sex-scenes tend to be somewhat vanilla (another is, put simply, that's what I like).
... I wouldn't be at all surprised if my mother frequents this site. :( But she's not much of a forum person, at least!
 
I pulled one or two of my very personal stories because a reader could "triangulate" the people, places and events in them and get a good enough picture of me to find out who I am.
For those of you (the majority?) who like to remain anonymous, is this ever an issue that leads you to "obfuscate" your story to keep people from learning too much about you?
Yes. I make sure to keep details generic or altered. And I make sure not to avoid certain first names lest the consistent omission become a clue. I rarely describe actual events I've participated in, which is easy, because I have participated in very few story-worthy events.

Though I figure after enough time, my writing style could be recognizable, if either this or my regular writing ever gets popular.
 
I was taught, "Don't do anything today that you'll not want to sleep with tonight."

In other words, if it will embarrass you at some point, it's best not to do it in the first place.

Nothing I write embarrasses me or I wouldn't do it. There is frequently personal content in my stories, often using names of real-life friends who consider it an honor. I don't hide behind a pseudonym, it's merely an identifier unique to this site.
I have pretty much the same attitude, but I would say "shame" rather than embarrassment. I'd probably be somewhat embarassed if I was outed, but not ashamed.

My wife is not a fan of this stuff at all. She won't even read my stories. But I tell her a few details of it here and there. That's pretty much my 'conscience' on that, I won't write anything I'd be ashamed to tell her about. (Nor do anything IRL).
 
Of course if anybody you know can identify you from a story, it brings up the question, "What were they doing here in the first place?"

(Uh, research)
I could see some people thinking that reading it is more socially acceptable than writing it. If you write it, you're waaaay too into it. Kind of how paying for sex is often a wink, wink thing, but being a prostitute is totally unacceptable. In both situations, it takes two to tango.

But it is also an issue of who they might tell. And they could put the information out anonymously.
 
It is actually a very small list.

A 2014 article at The Conversation suggested that statistical evidence shows popular musicians are most likely to die at the age of 56 (2.2% compared to 1.3% at 27)

Cagivagurl
Yeah, but I think it’s like the joke, “If I had a nickel for every time this happened, I’d have ten cents. But it’s still weird that it happened twice.”
 
If you read every story you could glean a few things about me from repedative uses in my work. I lived in Florida. Prior service. Medium build. I was an adult in the 90s. A great kisser with a penchant for hot older ladies. That's about it.

Oh, and my first name is probably Rob. Probably.
 
Last edited:
It's more likely someone could figure out who am from tidbits here than in my stories. Then again, anyone that knows me probably can sus out the truth from my penname.
 
Yeah, but I think it’s like the joke, “If I had a nickel for every time this happened, I’d have ten cents. But it’s still weird that it happened twice.”
I think there are 20 members of the 27 club. When you calculate the actual numbers of musicians playing and performing. The club is a very small component of the music machine.
More legend than fact. Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Kristen Pfaff, Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Chris Bell.
All notable performers, but a small percentage of the actual number.
There are others, I only highlighted a few.
Cagivagurl
 
I think there are 20 members of the 27 club. When you calculate the actual numbers of musicians playing and performing. The club is a very small component of the music machine.
More legend than fact. Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Kristen Pfaff, Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Chris Bell.
All notable performers, but a small percentage of the actual number.

Cagivagurl
But now that it is out there, every time some rock star dies at 27, it's notable and remembered.

I've had this theory that 27 is just about the right age to have gone through the cycle of paying your dues, getting established, then getting jaded, pressured by the bean counters, and addicted to something. A formula for self-destructive behavior, and none of the ones that died at 27 died of natural causes.
 
But now that it is out there, every time some rock star dies at 27, it's notable and remembered.

I've had this theory that 27 is just about the right age to have gone through the cycle of paying your dues, getting established, then getting jaded, pressured by the bean counters, and addicted to something. A formula for self-destructive behavior, and none of the ones that died at 27 died of natural causes.
Simple pop culture propaganda.
 
Simple pop culture propaganda.
I do wonder how the stats compare to the public as a whole. Is that percentage representative across 27 year olds? Because it may not be that a bunch of 27 year olds died as a percentage of all dead musicians, but at a higher rate than other 27 year olds. Do you happen to know?
 
I do wonder how the stats compare to the public as a whole. Is that percentage representative across 27 year olds? Because it may not be that a bunch of 27 year olds died as a percentage of all dead musicians, but at a higher rate than other 27 year olds. Do you happen to know?
No.....
I only researched the 27 club, because I'm a musician. Somebody raised it during a conversation.
I have heard it described as a tragedy so many of our loved Idols died at that age.
It drove me to find out what the percentage really was, based on numbers of performing musicians.

I'm sure somebody could do the math. It won't be me....

Cagivagurl
 
I think there are 20 members of the 27 club. When you calculate the actual numbers of musicians playing and performing. The club is a very small component of the music machine.
More legend than fact. Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Kristen Pfaff, Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Chris Bell.
All notable performers, but a small percentage of the actual number.
There are others, I only highlighted a few.
Cagivagurl
Brian Jones, Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix started it all off. Morrison forgot about Brian Jones when he said, "You're drinking with number three." Then someone remembered Robert Johnson, and it went on from there.
 
I pulled one or two of my very personal stories because a reader could "triangulate" the people, places and events in them and get a good enough picture of me to find out who I am.
For those of you (the majority?) who like to remain anonymous, is this ever an issue that leads you to "obfuscate" your story to keep people from learning too much about you?
I always make sure not to include obvious personal likes and dislikes in my stories. For instance, characters never wear band t-shirts of bands I really like, my celeb stories don't feature celebs I've openly talked about liking etc. This is very much a secret hobby for me, and I would hate to be "uncovered"....
 
Nothing here would give out who I am on either screen name. Even things I talk about generally wouldn't. There's things about myself I say online, that I wouldn't tell people in real life. I keep my online and offline stuff seperate enough that even if I gave you an old job, that job most likely wouldn't be able to link me to my online stuff. Besides; there's been some weird thing where just about every job I've had has has a change of management during or after I was fired. Up to a point, finding me elsewhere, like IG or TikTok may be of little help. Ya damn well already gotta know me to know who I am and even in real life I'm reluctant to give my real name, I have aqaintances known for years, that don't know my real name.

What would one even do if they found out, anyway? The closest detail I ever give out is my city/state. Where I live specifically one wouldn't wanna tread around anyway. Might get beat up or shot. I'm not worth stalking, I wouldn't be single if that was the case.
 
My stories are a mix of fiction and nonfiction. They have many slices from real life that someone who was there could recognize. I don’t worry about it because if they were there, I don’t mind them knowing it’s me writing it.

In fact it’s a bit of a fantasy that someone might contact me and say, “Hey Alex! I remember that….”
 
This actually happened to me this year.

He attempted to try and embarrass me, but his wife reminded him of what would happen if he didn't shut his piehole.

He left with his tail between his legs and she apologized for his idiocy.
 
Back
Top