Who do you talk about your work with?

[Erozetta]

My husband, online friends, and a friend from high school. We talk about my writing, and they've all read at least one of my stories. My husband and a few online friends edit and critique my stories pretty regularly. Sometimes they even praise them.

 

[StrentWriter]

Only talk to a few on here about my work. I am lucky that they are patient with me and kind when critiquing. I have a long way to go to meet their standards, IMO. But I am trying!

 

[crookedletter]

Most people that know me know I write, though only my spouse knows I write and publish erotica. I may have made stray mentions to others here and there that I've dabbled, but that's about it.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

Yeah, that tracks. I have similar issues with loving fans of Fifty Shades and similar works.

I should note that there is no parent child incest in my stories since you bring it up. That’s not a kink I have- my mother is a difficult person to deal with to the degree I’m surprised multiple men have been in relationships with her. Also, growing up, parents were my authority figures and adversaries. This makes it difficult to connect with them on a level necessary for sexual attraction.

My mother and I had a volatile relationship as well. My daughter and I have a very difficult relationship and rarely even speak. Since my stories are built on thematic ideas or character interactions, my personal relationships never enter into the consideration of what those would be like.

I also don’t base characters on people I know. Characters are built around an idea or trait. I sometimes find stock images or have AI create a character image so that I can firmly implant that character in my mind and let them grow.

 

[onehitwanda]

Girl-in-the-mirror, and to some unlucky people here.

 

[WittyUserName]

I've been writing pretty much all my life, but I'm still new at writing erotica. I'd love to talk with more people about what I do, but it's not exactly something you can chat with your co-workers about, and you'd have to be pretty sure you know how a friend would take it. My SO is very happy that I enjoy it, and that my stories are doing well...but it's not their cup of tea.

So who do you discuss it with? Do you talk to people in broad strokes (hehe) about "writing," and leave out that it's spicy writing? Or do you just keep it to yourself?

Like some others, no one in my life knows about this hobby of mine. There is someone I wish I could tell, which is another reason I regret caving to reader pressure and including incest. I'm afraid the choice would not be well-received by the loved one.
A couple of people have reached out via feedback on my stories. There are 2-3 I correspond with regularly.

 

[AchtungNight]

I also don’t base characters on people I know. Characters are built around an idea or trait. I sometimes find stock images or have AI create a character image so that I can firmly implant that character in my mind and let them grow.

I have done this also. Example from my first erotic story Fear, Lust, and Vanity- each of the three leads is built around a word in the title. They have traits of the other words also, to a lesser degree, but Rachel is primarily fear, Scarlett lust, and Keira vanity.

 

[old_prof]

My wife has beta read some stories here. She's an avid reader, but she doesn't really like my writing. She will talk plot and characters with me, but not writing. She's responsible for me going from ending #6 on my Valentine's day story to ending #7 (as of this morning).

I've used a handful of people here to give me feedback on stories, only one of whom has beta read multiple stories. She's the only one I have writing discussions with, other than publicly on AH.

 

[TheExperimentalist]

I discuss many aspects of it with my spouse, who is very supportive of my writing here, but there are some things I know they don't want to hear about. (Not things I'm keeping secret, just kinks I know squick them out.) They're also the only person in the world who knows me as me and also knows my user name here.

I have a few other close friends who know I write erotica, but I don't go very in-depth with them about specifics. That may change some time in the near future, I don't know for sure.

Almost everyone else around me thinks I'm super chaste, probably bordering on prude. I'm constantly afraid of judgement. It's something I've been working on.

 

[MK_Whimsy]

I've shared it with a few online friends, and that's about it. Nobody in my real life knows that I've posted anything here.

 

[nice90sguy]

I mainly talk about real life with my real friends. I only discuss my fantasy life with the all you fictional people here on the AH.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I should note that there is no parent child incest in my stories since you bring it up. That’s not a kink I have- my mother is a difficult person to deal with to the degree I’m surprised multiple men have been in relationships with her. Also, growing up, parents were my authority figures and adversaries. This makes it difficult to connect with them on a level necessary for sexual attraction.

Part of it is to disassociate from that world. Not necessarily to write the world you wish you lived it, but to separate from the one you did, to provide alternatives to distract and muddie the memories you don't relish.

You may use the base person and even their name, but you completely change who they were, what they looked like and how they acted.

 

[lovecraft68]

Other than here, just the wife.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I mainly talk about real life with my real friends.

Well, I never had one of those, so ...

 

[TheLobster]

My cat.

 

[AchtungNight]

Part of it is to disassociate from that world. Not necessarily to write the world you wish you lived it, but to separate from the one you did, to provide alternatives to distract and muddie the memories you don't relish.

You may use the base person and even their name, but you completely change who they were, what they looked like and how they acted.

Yeah, that doesn’t work on my end. Or maybe it’s more complicated than I can handle. It won’t ever be my thing.

 

[MrPixel]

Shared with? My wife and two of her boyfriends.

Where in the hell do you think I get my material from?

 

[Statius]

No one anymore

 

[Britva415]

how did you determine that?

Just a feeling.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

No one.

At worst, being an erotica writer is an open secret. No one is able to read me because 99% of what I do is in English. I only have like a couple of things and a full novel done in Spanish, with the exception of my poems since they are all in Spanish. But the work that people around me have seen me write in the spot and actually talk about isn't erotic.

And honestly they don't care. They are far too modest to even care.

My ex was my beta reader. We haven't talked in a year.

I only discuss some with my therapist because he knows there's a part of my erotica that I use for shadow work, and that writing is my way of understanding everything.

 

[BellaBestia]

I think only a couple of online friends and perhaps 2 -3 irl know about or have read my published things. None are writers themselves so they probably think this is a nice little hobby of mine and not much else.

 

[AStrangeDesire]

I only talk to my wife. She's the only reason I ever even considered publishing, kept telling me that I should do it...

But it's limited to her reading stuff when it's ready for editing, reading it and finding all (well, most) of the errors and passages she had to read more than once to understand.

Other than that, it's mostly conversations in my own head. Never know how those will go either. The critiques are often pretty damn harsh. Guess I should keep better company.

 

[Statius]

I only talk to my wife. She's the only reason I ever even considered publishing, kept telling me that I should do it...

But it's limited to her reading stuff when it's ready for editing, reading it and finding all (well, most) of the errors and passages she had to read more than once to understand.

Other than that, it's mostly conversations in my own head. Never know how those will go either. The critiques are often pretty damn harsh. Guess I should keep better company.

I feel that last part

 

[SmilingLez]

So who do you discuss it with? Do you talk to people in broad strokes (hehe) about "writing," and leave out that it's spicy writing? Or do you just keep it to yourself?

I go the pen/paper route before posting, so everything I've written is in my journal. There is comfort in being able to touch my voice. So in an abstract way, I discuss my work with my journal.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

You mean asides from Teddy?