Does love improve sex?

[Svenskaflicka]

I always find it somewhat kinky when someone has only had one lover their entire life..? If you have nothing to compare them with, how can you know what they could do much better?

 

[NoJo]

I've heard about couples who mate for life. I envy them. I can barely manage to mate for more than about ten minutes.

 

[Golden Eyes]

I have been with the same man for 18 yrs, and the sex is better than ever

 

[Guest]

amen!

the sex is better than ever

No doubt about that... 11+ years of exceedingly creative monogamy.... we have our phases of varying intensity, but the completeness together is exquisite, every time....

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

I've heard about couples who mate for life. I envy them. I can barely manage to mate for more than about ten minutes.

It would be wonderful to have a deeply committed life-long relationship with a woman ... just as long as I was allowed occasional unsupervised trips to Cabo San Lucas.

 

[NoJo]

CBM, the quote from M. de Sade at the bottom of your post is very thought-provoking and is frankly boggling my brain a little. I think I have to read him.

And for the record, I've been 21 years with one woman, with a few lapses (on both sides). The thing about monogamy is that people change -- so you're not really with the SAME person all that time.

I don't know where Cabo San Lucas is -- but I think I can guess what (or who?) goes down in that place.

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

>>>I don't know where Cabo San Lucas is -- but I think I can guess what (or who?) goes down in that place.<<<

It's on the southern tip of Baja California. Most of what goes on down there is fishing, diving, laying about, and trying to avoid a drunken Sammy Hagar. There are, IMO, far less unruly kids running about than in either Cancun or Mazatlan. It's a beautiful location, especially in the dead of January (when it's -20° F at home.)

 

[DVS]

No, love does not improve sex. It may enhance it, but it will not improve it. Only practice with a compatible partner will help to improve sex. That, a healthy appetite for practice, and a strong heart.

 

[Quasimodem]

To improve sex, you require that which increases flexibility while it decreases inhibitions.

Doesn't sound like anything passing for love in my neighbourhood?

 

[Guest]

exactly love

To improve sex, you require that which increases flexibility while it decreases inhibitions.

Quasi- Sounds exactly like love to me.... love frees one from having to protect yourself... the result of inhibitions.. it also gives the desire to extend oneself for the other's pleasure.

I think you need a new neighborhood.

 

[Golden Eyes]

I still believe that love with sex is much better, at least have feelings toward the person

 

[CharlotteKurai]

Sex with love

 

[TheRedChamber]

Super-necro thread here, but I think it's a topic with legs.

I'm voting 'not necessarily' You can be in love with someone who just isn't that sexual and that is fine (if somewhat disappointing)

 

[DeMont]

Ok, as my Condom poll has shriveled up to a small soggy mess, I'd like to post another one -- a little more serious. I've a read a few "loving wives" stories, and I've conclued that for me, "Loving Wives" is one of the least erotic categories.
But it got me thinking... Does being in love with the person you have sex with "improve" the sex? Make it more sexy? Or less?

Is erotica sex more or less of a turn on when they are depicted as being in love?

(Please, let's excude mastrurbation and Narcissicism from this poll mainly because I have trouble spelling them).

@NoJo
We'll have to exclude your condom poll because I missed it but I would answer, "All of the above" anyway. In fact that was going to be my posted answer to this poll but I rolled with the one I favour most.

In short I just want to say that consensual sex is GOOD, anyplace, anytime, anywhere. I have to say, I've lived a fair long time, I've seen and done a lot and, by being sensible, caring and open minded I can't say I have ever had a "bad" sexual experience, believe it or not.
Deepest respects,
D

 

[UnexpectedLuggage]

I think it has more to do with people than the state of their relationship.

I've had good sex with people I loved, and I've had bad sex with people I've loved. Some of my best sexual experiences were with a FWB.

So I think the relationship can play into things, but I believe the compatability of the people involved is way more impactful.

 

[EmmAgain]

Ha ha! Look at all us boring romantics!

I’ve been in love precisely once. And then sec is better than anything I’ve ever experienced.

 

[old_prof]

I don't know if I believe the original question or not. I have only had sex with people I was in love with (I am old-fashioned that way and just old), so I cannot compare personally.

I can say that love does not guarantee good sex. And I fully expect that good sex is possible without love. So they are not all that tightly correlated.

But I think between any two people, the sex will be better if they are also in love.

 

[SimonDoom]

I'd say yes. Love is not essential for good, enjoyable sex, but it makes it better.

Which is not to say that all sex involving love is better than all sex not involving love. That definitely is not true. It's possible to love someone but to have bad sex with them.

 

[Erozetta]

I mentioned this in my love letter to my friends when talking about what love means to me in general and how love can hold me back in situations where I become afraid of losing people by being too needy. I feel like the more I care about someone, the more self sufficient I need to be around them, and that includes meeting my own sexual needs beyond anything they desire.

Edited because I just got my eyes dilated at my eye doctor and now I can't see well, but saw that there were horrible typos.