Drow's General OOC-We're Back Babee!~
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Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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It is wholesome, and you know it
Oh yes it can~ I can't wait for the day that someone actually harms our little danger spagooter noodle, and six pairs of eyes suddenly zero in on them in a darkly lit room, murderous intent pouring forth...
...
*groans*
alright, I failed tonight and unfortunately I just can't stay awake to do that last stretch to get my posting done. I don't know if I didn't get enough sleep, or if it's an anxiety thing again...but I got most of the posts done and then my brain just went, "HEY
HEY
HEY BITCH, GUESS WHAT?! Bibbity boppity boo! Your words are now poo!" --__--
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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Poprockz I was fucking dieing 
it's literally one of his better videos and I need to send it to more people!
*clears throat*
Alright, so. I've been, let us say, BINGE WATCHING everything I can get my sugar coated little finger tips on about ADHD and psychology and all that fun shit. How it affects your functions. I came across this one:
Which it was both so painfully accurate that it made me tear up a little, but also incredibly useful for I think...most relationships. Business, friend, romantic. It's definitely making me think about how to handle things going forward and trying to build better strategies and skills...
So that being said, and even though it's a little uncomfortable, I wanna get better at handling things. Do you think it might benefit us to do a bit of a check in sometimes? Like for an easy example, I feel like I've been failing a tad at keeping up my expectations to have posts done every Monday. But I also recognize that could just be me doing a too hard on myself again because life's been happening. Or maybe a mix.
Totally don't have to answer my "should have been in bed half an hour ago" ramblings if you don't want to/busy, or don't have time to watch that. I is doing a ramble cause fatigue, but partly also want to check in with you.
it's literally one of his better videos and I need to send it to more people! *clears throat*
Alright, so. I've been, let us say, BINGE WATCHING everything I can get my sugar coated little finger tips on about ADHD and psychology and all that fun shit. How it affects your functions. I came across this one:
Which it was both so painfully accurate that it made me tear up a little, but also incredibly useful for I think...most relationships. Business, friend, romantic. It's definitely making me think about how to handle things going forward and trying to build better strategies and skills...
So that being said, and even though it's a little uncomfortable, I wanna get better at handling things. Do you think it might benefit us to do a bit of a check in sometimes? Like for an easy example, I feel like I've been failing a tad at keeping up my expectations to have posts done every Monday. But I also recognize that could just be me doing a too hard on myself again because life's been happening. Or maybe a mix.
Totally don't have to answer my "should have been in bed half an hour ago" ramblings if you don't want to/busy, or don't have time to watch that. I is doing a ramble cause fatigue, but partly also want to check in with you.
Poprockz
The perverted lady
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I didn't have time to watch the video this morning, but I gave it a watch this evening and I thought it was very informative. The way he explains about thoughts being jumbled and reorganized really clicked for me. I've always found that I'm better at doing things when I write them down, though I'm bad at discarding these papers as they sometimes get to be too much and then that gets jumbled for me.
Side note though, like the 17 year old with the 25 year old... <_< Wasn't super comfortable with that part of the example and thought it was weird how he just kinda glossed over it.
As far as the RP goes, I think on the whole you've been pretty good about getting it done most weeks, and the times you haven't have been exceptions to the rule. I've thought a bit about the expectations and I'm a bit leery about adjusting them because I feel like if we give wiggle room to the week-long post expectation with like two weeks, then that deadline might start to be loosened as well until we migrate to months and so on and so forth. I really don't want to be in a place where I only see two posts per month from you if possible.
What can we do to work together to help you with the weekly post goal? Do you want to adjust that goal? What are your thoughts on the matter?
Side note though, like the 17 year old with the 25 year old... <_< Wasn't super comfortable with that part of the example and thought it was weird how he just kinda glossed over it.
As far as the RP goes, I think on the whole you've been pretty good about getting it done most weeks, and the times you haven't have been exceptions to the rule. I've thought a bit about the expectations and I'm a bit leery about adjusting them because I feel like if we give wiggle room to the week-long post expectation with like two weeks, then that deadline might start to be loosened as well until we migrate to months and so on and so forth. I really don't want to be in a place where I only see two posts per month from you if possible.
What can we do to work together to help you with the weekly post goal? Do you want to adjust that goal? What are your thoughts on the matter?
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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Yea, writing things down has definitely helped for me in the past...if I can exercise some self control with what I write down. A lot of the time when I start writing things down, my page end ups carrying over to the back, and then to another page. It could definitely use some work.
Oh wait, that was an example? I thought the age gap was from the original OP question and that's what was playing into her troubles...huh. Did not know that was his own example, but, yeesh. Definitely something I'm going to be wary of now >_>
Oh. Yea no, I don't want to be only doing two posts per month either, I was actually hoping I could get in more than one per week, and I've been a bit disappointed when I can't. That's a bit what was playing into feeling bad when I do miss that weekly post schedule, but I didn't know if I was over achieving given all the life crap going on. Which has actually been some really good life stuff going on too, but I am still having very uncontrolled trauma days that just completely take me by surprise and sometimes I don't even know that that's what ran me over until like three or four days later lol
As far as posting goals, like I said, I want to get in more than one per week, but want and can are separate...
I know I said I was only to work 4 days a week, but my ex coworker just told me of some stuff going on at our ex job, and apparently they are SO DESPERATE for workers, that they're basically taking any scheduling within reason and willing to do pretty good raises so they don't have to pay the expense of travelling nurses. We we're discussing that perhaps I could sacrifice my Fridays, if they can give me close to $20 an hour. I... honestly am really considering it, because the flip is that I was going to get another part time job in the morning to pay down credit cards and medical bills, and meet some financial goals. But...that would leave me working roughly 12-14 hour days, for four days a week.... Vs, if I do this, it would be 4 normal days with a VERY chill work environment, and then one crazy day out of the week, but I would also be spending that shift with my person. And get to see my other person for dinner before going into work. So the trade off feels worth it to me, because I was stressing a bit on picking up another job and how that might effect my creativity reserve
Oh wait, that was an example? I thought the age gap was from the original OP question and that's what was playing into her troubles...huh. Did not know that was his own example, but, yeesh. Definitely something I'm going to be wary of now >_>
Oh. Yea no, I don't want to be only doing two posts per month either, I was actually hoping I could get in more than one per week, and I've been a bit disappointed when I can't. That's a bit what was playing into feeling bad when I do miss that weekly post schedule, but I didn't know if I was over achieving given all the life crap going on. Which has actually been some really good life stuff going on too, but I am still having very uncontrolled trauma days that just completely take me by surprise and sometimes I don't even know that that's what ran me over until like three or four days later lol
As far as posting goals, like I said, I want to get in more than one per week, but want and can are separate...
I know I said I was only to work 4 days a week, but my ex coworker just told me of some stuff going on at our ex job, and apparently they are SO DESPERATE for workers, that they're basically taking any scheduling within reason and willing to do pretty good raises so they don't have to pay the expense of travelling nurses. We we're discussing that perhaps I could sacrifice my Fridays, if they can give me close to $20 an hour. I... honestly am really considering it, because the flip is that I was going to get another part time job in the morning to pay down credit cards and medical bills, and meet some financial goals. But...that would leave me working roughly 12-14 hour days, for four days a week.... Vs, if I do this, it would be 4 normal days with a VERY chill work environment, and then one crazy day out of the week, but I would also be spending that shift with my person. And get to see my other person for dinner before going into work. So the trade off feels worth it to me, because I was stressing a bit on picking up another job and how that might effect my creativity reserve
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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Yea no, now that you mention it. I wonder if it's because he was/is a psychologist and was trying to stay neutral and just address the questions that were asked. But it's still a pretty glaring issue that should have been touched on at least.
You know I don't...know... Bit embarrassed now, not sure why I went on that ramble.
I think, maybe I was hoping for opinion more than encouragement. I think I'm like... I think I'm having this internal struggle of not being able to trust my own brains organizational skills and biting off more than I can chew, etc. So I think I've been trying to seek outside opinions a bit more to factor in how it's going to effect time management, and trying to put trust in other people and not be so ferociously independent that it backfires on me.
Like MCASS is important to me- not just because it's a cool story that we've got a lot of time invested into, but also because you're my friend and your time matters to me as well. So I guess yea, opinion because it will effect my decision in how I approach a work/life balance. If that makes sense?
You know I don't...know... Bit embarrassed now, not sure why I went on that ramble.
I think, maybe I was hoping for opinion more than encouragement. I think I'm like... I think I'm having this internal struggle of not being able to trust my own brains organizational skills and biting off more than I can chew, etc. So I think I've been trying to seek outside opinions a bit more to factor in how it's going to effect time management, and trying to put trust in other people and not be so ferociously independent that it backfires on me.
Like MCASS is important to me- not just because it's a cool story that we've got a lot of time invested into, but also because you're my friend and your time matters to me as well. So I guess yea, opinion because it will effect my decision in how I approach a work/life balance. If that makes sense?
Poprockz
The perverted lady
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Oh no, I don’t think it was silly at all! The reason I asked was because I don’t want to walk over your aspirations if you’re set on going down that path.
I want to start off by saying that this is just my take on things and that I’ll support whatever you do (not that you need my approval or anything). It concerns me that you’re trying to pick up a second job because you have historically and currently not been in good health. You’ve always talked about wanting a more chill job with less than 40 hours a week, and now you have it. I get the vibe that you’re feeling antsy at your chill job, and that it makes you want to take on more and more until you’re overwhelmed. I think I’d feel differently if the Friday job wasn’t hectic/stressful, but it just doesn’t seem like it would be good for you.
I understand the need for more money and paying down debts, but I feel like the extra money and such is going to be at the cost of your mental and physical well-being. You currently struggle with getting one post a week even with a chill job, so I’m pretty confident that your frequency will decrease with the added stress and more necessary recuperation time. Sometimes I feel like you’re a busy little bee, always buzzing and trying to get to the next flower without regard to your own limits. It’s like laying in bed and thinking of all the stuff you want to do tomorrow without considering how you’re going I feel and what a realistic expectation would be.
The reason I asked was because I don’t want to walk over your aspirations if you’re set on going down that path. I want to start off by saying that this is just my take on things and that I’ll support whatever you do (not that you need my approval or anything). It concerns me that you’re trying to pick up a second job because you have historically and currently not been in good health. You’ve always talked about wanting a more chill job with less than 40 hours a week, and now you have it. I get the vibe that you’re feeling antsy at your chill job, and that it makes you want to take on more and more until you’re overwhelmed. I think I’d feel differently if the Friday job wasn’t hectic/stressful, but it just doesn’t seem like it would be good for you.
I understand the need for more money and paying down debts, but I feel like the extra money and such is going to be at the cost of your mental and physical well-being. You currently struggle with getting one post a week even with a chill job, so I’m pretty confident that your frequency will decrease with the added stress and more necessary recuperation time. Sometimes I feel like you’re a busy little bee, always buzzing and trying to get to the next flower without regard to your own limits. It’s like laying in bed and thinking of all the stuff you want to do tomorrow without considering how you’re going I feel and what a realistic expectation would be.
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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Aw well I appreciate that, thank you.
*kicks the social anxiety back behind me*
That is a...very good take and observation. Aah. Yea...yup.
Let me just... Would you excuse me a moment while I recover from someone else reading me way too well? Thank you, thank you.
Mm. Okay, I'm recovered. Thank you Popz I honestly really do appreciate the opinion, and I know ultimately I do have to choose what's best for me, but getting others opinions helps me take the rose tinted glasses off for a minute.
I think I got a bit too excited at the process of being able to ask for the amount that I wanted, and be able to work with my friend again... But truth be told, I know it would be stressful even if they've supposedly got more help now, and I'm still dealing with a crap ton baggage that needs to be sorted out... I think said baggage has been attributing more to my physical symptoms too, but eh, that's for the therapist and doctor to help me figure out. But going back to a job that caused a lot of mental stress... probably not going to be good right now, when I'm still trying to heal... >_<
well I appreciate that, thank you.*kicks the social anxiety back behind me*
That is a...very good take and observation. Aah. Yea...yup.
Let me just... Would you excuse me a moment while I recover from someone else reading me way too well? Thank you, thank you.
Mm. Okay, I'm recovered. Thank you Popz
I honestly really do appreciate the opinion, and I know ultimately I do have to choose what's best for me, but getting others opinions helps me take the rose tinted glasses off for a minute.I think I got a bit too excited at the process of being able to ask for the amount that I wanted, and be able to work with my friend again... But truth be told, I know it would be stressful even if they've supposedly got more help now, and I'm still dealing with a crap ton baggage that needs to be sorted out... I think said baggage has been attributing more to my physical symptoms too, but eh, that's for the therapist and doctor to help me figure out. But going back to a job that caused a lot of mental stress... probably not going to be good right now, when I'm still trying to heal... >_<
Poprockz
The perverted lady
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Yeah, it's like that thing where people recovering from a surgery/illness wake up during recovery at times and are like, "I may still be in the resting period, but I feel great today! I'm going to push myself to do some things." And then they push themselves too much and it ultimately hinders their recovery. True story. I have family members that fit that description to a tee.
There should be opportunities in the future to take advantage of once you've taken care of yourself. Nothing's stopping you from having breakfast with one of your people though. I'm sure they'd like to see you before they go to work and all.
Also, have you seen the newest Hellava boss episode with Kesha in it? I am addicted to the song in it.
There should be opportunities in the future to take advantage of once you've taken care of yourself. Nothing's stopping you from having breakfast with one of your people though.
I'm sure they'd like to see you before they go to work and all. Also, have you seen the newest Hellava boss episode with Kesha in it? I am addicted to the song in it.
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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I don't...fit that description...at all ">_>
Yea ^_^ I got a few more major doctor things to do, and then I can probably take another look at things. On the flip side, if my old coworker comes over here and gets hired where I am currently working, I'm going to tell my boss that I would be willing to take on Fridays because I already know we work really good together as a team, and I wouldn't dislike coming into work. I would probably honestly be getting more productive things done if that happens lol, but we'll see. We shall see what the future holds, when it gets here
I did! And I watched a pretty good break down of how that lost episode filled in a lot of holes for other stuff in season 2, which was super interesting.
Truth be told, though, the show has been irritating me quite a bit. It's still awesome and I love it, but I keep waiting and waiting for there to be a Millie centered episode and it still hasn't done it yet. And the last two times that I thought Millie was for sure going to get the spotlight for a minute, it totally flipped and went over to Moxie. It's left a bad taste in my mouth :/
But it was still a really good episode and the princess's design was sick. I want to watch it again just to see the cool lava lamp effect of her body lol
Yea ^_^ I got a few more major doctor things to do, and then I can probably take another look at things. On the flip side, if my old coworker comes over here and gets hired where I am currently working, I'm going to tell my boss that I would be willing to take on Fridays because I already know we work really good together as a team, and I wouldn't dislike coming into work. I would probably honestly be getting more productive things done if that happens lol, but we'll see. We shall see what the future holds, when it gets here
I did! And I watched a pretty good break down of how that lost episode filled in a lot of holes for other stuff in season 2, which was super interesting.
Truth be told, though, the show has been irritating me quite a bit. It's still awesome and I love it, but I keep waiting and waiting for there to be a Millie centered episode and it still hasn't done it yet. And the last two times that I thought Millie was for sure going to get the spotlight for a minute, it totally flipped and went over to Moxie. It's left a bad taste in my mouth :/
But it was still a really good episode and the princess's design was sick. I want to watch it again just to see the cool lava lamp effect of her body lol
Poprockz
The perverted lady
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Do you smell that? It’s the toasty smell of postas.
<_< Oh yeah. Not at all. Mmmhmmm.
I think if you were able to do chill Fridays it might be different, yeah. I agree- we’ll just have to wait and see what happens with your doctor stuff and friend.
I mean… they can’t just be throwing backstories in there all willie-Millie. Lol
Seriously though, I get what you mean. I’ve seen some videos/comments complaining about the lack of attention for the female characters in the story. Like yeah, we know Millie is a badass killer who loves her husband (and pegs him sometimes), but the episode about her hometown was mainly about Blitzo, Moxxie, and Striker. We didn’t get much background on her other than the fact that she has a family and that she’s good at killing.
<_< Oh yeah. Not at all. Mmmhmmm.
I think if you were able to do chill Fridays it might be different, yeah. I agree- we’ll just have to wait and see what happens with your doctor stuff and friend.
I mean… they can’t just be throwing backstories in there all willie-Millie. Lol
Seriously though, I get what you mean. I’ve seen some videos/comments complaining about the lack of attention for the female characters in the story. Like yeah, we know Millie is a badass killer who loves her husband (and pegs him sometimes), but the episode about her hometown was mainly about Blitzo, Moxxie, and Striker. We didn’t get much background on her other than the fact that she has a family and that she’s good at killing.
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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Yea, like that small bit between her and her sister I would have looooved to see more on. At least give me a juicy flashback bone to knaw on for a while.
I really hope it's not just empty promises that we'll get to see more of her own stuff in the future...but yea. Octavia has had more screen time than her lol
*sniff sniff*
I smell postas...and it's my day of... totally should be sleeping...but...postas!! >o<
I really hope it's not just empty promises that we'll get to see more of her own stuff in the future...but yea. Octavia has had more screen time than her lol
*sniff sniff*
I smell postas...and it's my day of... totally should be sleeping...but...postas!! >o<
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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Okay, I sat down at like 1.30 to try and write a post for MCASS, put this on in the background so I could focus on the post, and I ended up sitting here just sucked into this and I don't know how many times it made me literally cry.
The being able to see your subconscious thoughts-which clicked way back to childhood memories I completely forgot about, mainly not being able to sleep because I would just lay there and think and think and think... and then on top of that, so much of this sounds like symptoms my ex displayed in our relationship that it actually made me cry for him. I knew he had ADHD when he was a kid, and of fucking course it does not at all erase all the bad shit he did and is still doing, but so much of our relationship and his relationship to others I'm seeing was just completely unchecked and unregulated ADHD. Definitely probably played into all the addictions he had and not being able to be present I could see was most likely playing into his depression and making him chasing that dragon, so to say... like fucking shit.
I've been taking out bags of trash almost nonstop, but I still loved him. Or some part of him. And I think I can forgive him for this stuff, even if I can't forgive him for the things he had no excuse for.
This one fucking hurt.
The being able to see your subconscious thoughts-which clicked way back to childhood memories I completely forgot about, mainly not being able to sleep because I would just lay there and think and think and think... and then on top of that, so much of this sounds like symptoms my ex displayed in our relationship that it actually made me cry for him. I knew he had ADHD when he was a kid, and of fucking course it does not at all erase all the bad shit he did and is still doing, but so much of our relationship and his relationship to others I'm seeing was just completely unchecked and unregulated ADHD. Definitely probably played into all the addictions he had and not being able to be present I could see was most likely playing into his depression and making him chasing that dragon, so to say... like fucking shit.
I've been taking out bags of trash almost nonstop, but I still loved him. Or some part of him. And I think I can forgive him for this stuff, even if I can't forgive him for the things he had no excuse for.
This one fucking hurt.
Poprockz
The perverted lady
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You have a big heart, Drobabes. I don't think I could cry for someone like that.
The depersonalization thing sounds interesting. I'm not sure I have that because a lot of the symptoms don't really sound like me, but I kinda relate to it a little. Like sometimes it feels like I am the narrator following myself around. Maybe it's just my own obsessive/intrusive thoughts, but a lot of the time I keep feeling anxious about how the things I'm experiencing at in a moment are fleeting and will disappear the next second. It's as though I'm walking through life with sand slipping through my fingers with someone over my shoulder commenting on it. Like I can't enjoy the moment because I"m distressed about losing it.
I'll have to check out the rest of the vid, but I was only able to watch part of it (skipped around to the middle-ish).
The depersonalization thing sounds interesting. I'm not sure I have that because a lot of the symptoms don't really sound like me, but I kinda relate to it a little. Like sometimes it feels like I am the narrator following myself around. Maybe it's just my own obsessive/intrusive thoughts, but a lot of the time I keep feeling anxious about how the things I'm experiencing at in a moment are fleeting and will disappear the next second. It's as though I'm walking through life with sand slipping through my fingers with someone over my shoulder commenting on it. Like I can't enjoy the moment because I"m distressed about losing it.
I'll have to check out the rest of the vid, but I was only able to watch part of it (skipped around to the middle-ish).
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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Don't blame ya for skipping, their long videos. And I don't expect you to watch it, it was just something getting to me and wanted to share.
I'm sorry, that doesn't sound like a fun time :/ That sand slipping through your fingers...I think I've had that at different points in my life, usually when I was depressed. Not saying that it necessarily causes that feeling, maybe just contributed to it, but eck. Yea it's not a good feeling.
Anywho, postas. I actually got a few things done tonight, yay~ I might go and start writing the first half of a post for Hard Knock. Maybe. I had a nice focus go go go mood going, and now I'm starting to crash again XD Maybe I should just take the pups on a walk and get a shower, and then go the fuck to sleep lol
I'm sorry, that doesn't sound like a fun time :/ That sand slipping through your fingers...I think I've had that at different points in my life, usually when I was depressed. Not saying that it necessarily causes that feeling, maybe just contributed to it, but eck. Yea it's not a good feeling.
Anywho, postas. I actually got a few things done tonight, yay~ I might go and start writing the first half of a post for Hard Knock. Maybe. I had a nice focus go go go mood going, and now I'm starting to crash again XD Maybe I should just take the pups on a walk and get a shower, and then go the fuck to sleep lol
Poprockz
The perverted lady
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I’ll probably end up watching it at some point, as those sorts of things interest me too. That first five minutes was a little too slow for me though. I like Adhd vids and appreciate the share- keep ‘em coming! 
Hm. You know, at this point I’m not sure if it’s depression or just straight up anxiety, adhd, and low self-esteem.
Happy ‘Murica Day! Have a postas! Angelique wants to talk zombie-y-zombie. Let’s see if Quint allows himself to be alone with her… if he does, I’m hoping the discussion solidifies the fact for them that she won’t leak their info for the week.
Hm. You know, at this point I’m not sure if it’s depression or just straight up anxiety, adhd, and low self-esteem.
Happy ‘Murica Day! Have a postas! Angelique wants to talk zombie-y-zombie. Let’s see if Quint allows himself to be alone with her… if he does, I’m hoping the discussion solidifies the fact for them that she won’t leak their info for the week.
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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Excuse you, Literotica. Asking for confirmation just to like a post? I think you got your memo mixed up with YouTube there.
Anyway.
Yea I get what you mean. I actually got to touch on that briefly with my therapist. Like saying I've been trying to figure out what was ADHD, what was PTSD, what was anxiety...yea. We're probably going to swing back around to it, but he was curious if I felt like I fell into that category of "highly sensitive person or HSP". He said it's not in the DSM, but he's been curious about it, so I'm gonna check that out.
MURRICA!
Eeeh~ Watch your booty, zombie boy Angelique's coming lol
Anyway.
Yea I get what you mean. I actually got to touch on that briefly with my therapist. Like saying I've been trying to figure out what was ADHD, what was PTSD, what was anxiety...yea. We're probably going to swing back around to it, but he was curious if I felt like I fell into that category of "highly sensitive person or HSP". He said it's not in the DSM, but he's been curious about it, so I'm gonna check that out.
MURRICA!
Eeeh~ Watch your booty, zombie boy
Angelique's coming lol
Drobabes
Sweet'n'Sour
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Mm, needed to wake up to something soft today.
Edit: Postas!
SWIIEENG batta batta!~Edit 2: I got inspired and wrote a first draft of the scene that I would love to do when all of Damiens suspicions about Quint come to a head, and he sees him talking with some shady person...
So excited for when we get there, and I love that Damien just got hell of suspicious of why Angelique wants to talk with him now~Ooh~ These beans are getting spicy
Last edited:
Poprockz
The perverted lady
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Swiggety Swooty, he better watch his booty. <.<
<o< Postas already?! Is it Christmas! Is it my birthday?! *gobbles up postas*
Heheh... the mistrust is planted, the seed waiting to burst from the ground! I can't wait to get there too. The succulent drama will be so juicy! >.<
<o< Postas already?! Is it Christmas! Is it my birthday?! *gobbles up postas*
Heheh... the mistrust is planted, the seed waiting to burst from the ground! I can't wait to get there too. The succulent drama will be so juicy! >.<
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