Encounters with Lit memebers

[viperguy987]

The person who refered me to this site is getting close to meeting with someone he just met on lit (less than a week ago) to fulfill one of his fantasys.

He doesn't want to submit this question because she may see it...

but, any advice for him before they meet up?

thanks.

 

[INeedLove]

Good luck to your "friend"

As with any blind "date" I recommend meeting in a public place. Then have a predetermined time to call your buddy. Have a code word. If he says it, then all is fine or vice versa. Tacky as this may sound, meeting in a motel room is probably a better idea (you did say your friend met this other person a week ago???)

He should trust his gut. If something seems wrong, then bow out gracefully. A quick fuck isn't worth putting your safety in danger.

You'll probably get lots of other advice too. Best of luck.

 

[SweetErika]

I'd suggest meeting in a public, non-sexual environment with NO expectations (including the other person will show up) first. For example, make the date for coffee or a meal, so if there's no connection, someone feels uncomfortable, or there's been misrepresentations, it's easy and comfortable to bow out. If it goes well, they can make a follow-up date for later in the day or another time.

Have your friend leave info on where he's going and who he's meeting with you, call in if there's any change in plans, and immediately after the date to let you know he's okay. You can never be too careful with strangers, which is what they are.

Have a plan in case the preliminary public meeting doesn't go well. Perhaps your friend could make "plans" with you for a couple of hours after the meeting, so he has an excuse to get out of it. Of course, if it did go well and they decide to proceed to private, he can always call you to cancel.

INeedLove is right about using a hotel room instead of going to one of their homes. Going to someone's home, or allowing them into yours, before you know them well is really stupid for a variety of reasons.

Be prepared and safe. If there's any sexual contact planned, assume your potential partner is NOT on birth control and has every disease/infection in the book. Both need to discuss and come with plenty of their favorite condoms (which should also be used for oral and can be cut to create a square for oral on females -- there's nothing sexy about genital herpes), lube, hygiene items, etc. Condoms need to be used on any toys or items that are inserted, and uncovered toys should never be shared. If your friend is rusty on safer sex practices, tell him to read up on them between now and the meeting. Here are two good places to do just that:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/medicalinfo/sexualhealth/pub-safe-sex.xml
http://www.sexuality.org/safesex.html

Use common sense. A large part of this is the above, but also watch for things that might not seem and feel right. If the alarm bells go off, end the date -- you can always make plans for the future. This isn't the only chance he'll ever have to fulfill his fantasy, so it's not the end of the world if it doesn't go well and one of them ends it. Better safe than sorry.

This is basically the plan I follow when meeting people, including other women. Fortunately, the Litsters I've met have been just as wonderful offline, but I'm always glad I have lots of safeguards in place just in case something goes awry (even if it's just not having the same chemistry we do online/on the phone). I would not plan anything sexual after just a week, and would question