Euphemisms for sex

[mancsman]

For masturbation

Bashing the bishop,
Polishing the rocket,
Shaking hands with Richard,
Slapping the salami,

 

[virgin_not]

"Finally she pulled the lips of her crotch apart with her middle fingers and at first just touched the tip of her tongue around the edges. Excited by his soft moans, her tongue began to work its magic in earnest.He bucked and pressed her hips hard against her face.

'Ohhhhhhhh Gahhd! Ohhhhhhhh Gahhhhhd! Oh Gahhhhhhhhhhhhd!'

After a few minutes of delicious exploration her tongue began to pound away at the Magic Button."

 

[virgin_not]

"After all, didn't a person have to peel back the tough skin of an orange to get to the succulent fruit beneath?"

 

[Lorelei_11]

I've never heard of most of these, its a funny read.

 

[Disasster]

Once heard a lady tell her daughter, in explanation of their sexual noises, that
" At night, in our bedroom, Mommy cheerleads for Daddy."

 

[virgin_not]

Exchange bodily fluids

Hammer someone

Putting sour cream in the burrito

 

[mancsman]

Make the beast with two backs,

 

[wally2450]

Hide the sausage.

 

[mattdchef]

takin the skin boat to tuna town

 

[hdlynnette]

I'm laughin my ass off here!!! And that is NOT a euphemism....the best I got right now is horizontal Bop.

 

[virgin_not]

Menstruation Euphemisms

aunt franny is here..

Bloody Mary

Flying the red flag

Kitty has a nosebleed

Leaky basement

Bitchy witchy week

Blow job week

 

[Daizie]

Let's play carpenter. I'll be the hammer and nail you.

 

[knickerless]

For masturbation

Bashing the bishop,
Polishing the rocket,
Shaking hands with Richard,
Slapping the salami,

and also:
Firing a one-gun salute
Pre-heating the oven (female) - like that one!

 

[mrjdoedevil]

I'm laughin my ass off here!!! And that is NOT a euphemism....the best I got right now is horizontal Bop.

work on that lynnette....its good....but it lacks in originality...kidding!

 

[mrjdoedevil]

aunt franny is here..

Bloody Mary

Flying the red flag

Kitty has a nosebleed

Leaky basement

Bitchy witchy week

Blow job week

youre good at this game....maybe we should open it up in honor of V_N and allow any euphemism

 

[mrjdoedevil]

Let's play carpenter. I'll be the hammer and nail you.

can i nail you instead?

 

[SecretLove69]

sliding a cake into my easy bake oven

 

[mrjdoedevil]

sliding a cake into my easy bake oven

i have a cake!

 

[SecretLove69]

i have a cake!

I have an oven and it's pre-heated and ready to go

 

[mattdchef]

hide the salami

 

[SecretLove69]

depositing a stack of quarters into the lock box

 

[virgin_not]

youre good at this game....maybe we should open it up in honor of V_N and allow any euphemism

I loved this thread of yours! Thanks for creating it.

Giving the one gun salute!

You've got male!

Sex Euphemism for accounting version:

Beating expectations

Double entry bookeeping

Making your holdings grow

Tied up in red tape

 

[virgin_not]

Eating the cream puff in the enchanted forest

Front door action

Give juice for jelly

 

[toys_em_us]

I'm going in the back door

 

[mrjdoedevil]

give the dog a bone
slap and tickle