Euphemisms for sex

[juicywet21]

give the dog a bone
slap and tickle

go polish the sceptre

 

[Disasster]

fill the donut with creme

 

[mrjdoedevil]

go polish the sceptre

hahahaah....good one!

play the pan pipe

 

[SecretLove69]

Burping the worm in the mole hole

 

[juicywet21]

hahahaah....good one!

you can do it by hand for free... but a spit shine is extra

 

[SecretLove69]

Putting a pickle in the hair sandwich


Get some stank on the hang low

 

[mrjdoedevil]

pet the pussy

 

[SecretLove69]

Competing in the Humptathlon

 

[mrjdoedevil]

how much for the spit shine?

 

[SecretLove69]

Taking "old one-eye" to the optometrist

Butter the muffin

Storm the pearly gates with your purple-headed devil

 

[toys_em_us]

Putting my wet stuff on your hot stuff.

 

[mrjdoedevil]

cattle prod the oyster ditch

 

[koalabear]

send the dwarf back to the mine.

 

[mrjdoedevil]

Baseball: sliding into home

 

[toys_em_us]

Hitting a Home Run

 

[mrjdoedevil]

going to the bull pen

 

[virgin_not]

Genital stimulation via phallengetic motion

Meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters

Jazz yourself

Hold the bishop

Flipping your omelet

 

[mrjdoedevil]

Genital stimulation via phallengetic motion

Meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters

Jazz yourself

Hold the bishop

Flipping your omelet

tickling the little man in the boat

 

[virgin_not]

tickling the little man in the boat

Have a hot roll with cream

Churning butter

Drilling the ditch

 

[virgin_not]

silky smooth blossoming leaves of the purple polka dotted papaya blossom


The scent in the leather was now a familiar one and it comforted her so that she almost forgot the raging beast of many horsepowers that was idly throbbing between her legs

 

[nowgirl]

Once heard a lady tell her daughter, in explanation of their sexual noises, that
" At night, in our bedroom, Mommy cheerleads for Daddy."

this made me laugh... in about 8th grade, i remember asking my mom what a blow job was... she replied, "sometimes we have to do things we don't really like for the ones we love...." luckily, i don't share mom's feelings about oral.... !!

Danza Slap
The next time you need to show a woman who’s the boss, give her a Danza Slap. This can be accomplished by smacking your woman in the face with your penis. The technique was so named after a legend that actor Tony Danza performed this act in porno movies. Another name for a Danza Slap is smurf, as in, “Tony needs to smurf Angela.”

 

[virgin_not]

lyrics from bloodhound Ground

Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker

Retrofit the pudding hatch
Ooh la la
With the boink swatter

 

[nowgirl]

from blogzarro.com ----

Rusty Trombone
No musical talent is required for this act, but you do need to be flexible and a good multi-tasker. A Rusty Trombone is played by licking a man’s ass while reaching around and masturbating him. Do it and you’ll be amazed at how much it looks like you’re playing a trombone. If you hear music, you’ve been licking ass too long.

 

[mrjdoedevil]

Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker

Retrofit the pudding hatch
Ooh la la
With the boink swatter

hahahah.....you found my source!!! the inspiration for the thread

 

[mrjdoedevil]

from blogzarro.com ----

Rusty Trombone
No musical talent is required for this act, but you do need to be flexible and a good multi-tasker. A Rusty Trombone is played by licking a man’s ass while reaching around and masturbating him. Do it and you’ll be amazed at how much it looks like you’re playing a trombone. If you hear music, you’ve been licking ass too long.

what do they say about playing the French Horn???