excessive re-coup times

[mrpenis]

Ever since I met my wife years ago we've never been able to have more than 2 sessions in row and be able to do it later in the week. Symptoms are either yeast infection or sore. Sore seems to win above all else. It's been this way for the past 12 years and it's always sucked since i've been with plenty of other partners than could go daily if they wanted...and have for that matter.

I'm not degrading her since I know everybody is built differently, but want to know if there's anyway others have dealt with the problem to make their body able to "take more". Pattern for the past 10 or so years is 4 times a month if I/we're lucky and I'm getting to the point of depression over it. She has no problem giving oral when she's "re-couping" so I still have a mutual release so to say, but I really enjoy the intimate times together, so all these years of lack there of are bothering me. It does'nt seem to bother her as much since her limbido is muuuch lower than mine (another probelm/thread), we both enjoy encounters when they happen, but it's frustrating that when we have a few days of "fun" and get on a roll so to speak, her body goes into "limp mode" and we're done for at least a week-10 days before we can try again.

Also, I know as we get older touchey/feely, oral become more of the game as opposed to straight intercourse-which I also enjoy, but she is'nt really on the same wavelength with me on this, often I have to convince her to slow it down/hold off on intercourse and just enjoy the prelude.

We started using a silicone lubricant, and in the past 3 months (we've only used it a few times) I think I see a pattern emerging with the next day she says it hurts to walk, feels like somebody tore her insides up, sides hurt, etc...this is the case after using the silicone lube and the other night I mentioned that to her and she started to recognize the trend as well, so we're going back to the water based and see if that does anything. FWIW we're both in our early 30's and reasonably fit-not excessively overweight, but not a model of perfection either...just average I guess

any input/insight is welcome. would love to figure out how to work through this hinderence/nucense.

 

[M's girl]

Yeast infections are hard to get rid of and could be the cause of the soreness. It might be wise for her to consult her doctor about the infection in combination with having (piv) sex.

Listen, her body tells her (yeast infection or not) to not have PIV sex at times. And you do have the oral and intimacy thing still going on. I agree she should find out what she can do about the soreness and the infection, but because of HER health.... and not (in the first place) your desire to simply be able to fuck her more often!

 

[Linyari]

You said that sometimes yeast infections are a problem. Is she treating them. And if she is, are you treating yourself to? While it is generally more difficult for men to get and have yeast infections, it can and does happen. If she has a yeast infection, you ought to treat yourself as well. Otherwise it never truly goes away. She'll get rid of the yeast infection and be ready to go and you'll give it right back to her.

Also, repetitive yeast infections can also be a sign of high blood sugar. Has she been checked for diabetes lately?

As for sore, you should probably stick with a water based lube as there is less chance that it's going to mess up your wifes delicate ph balance.

After that, there are a couple of other things. Is she sufficiently aroused in the first place? If she's not quite ready and you're plowing on in there, that can definitely lead to some soreness.

And above all else, has she ever gone to her OBGYN about this? They aren't just there for babies and pap smears. A lot of times they can offer reasons for problems that we just don't think of. Something that has gone on for this long is something that really should be checked by a doctor.

 

[mrpenis]

We've been on the pill since we got together, so she's always been a lil dry. I try the best I can to make sure she's self lubed and all slobbered up thanks to me LOL!! but I've never ever been able to just slide it on in, always takes work-slow and steady-no matter how worked up shes gets. The times we tried to get pregnant and she was off the pill I noticed a HUGE increase in how "wet" she got, and she was also alot hornier as far as that goes.

As far as blood work, she's been seeing an endocrenologist(sp?) for the past 2 years, so I'm sure any blood problems would have shown up. We've had several miscarriages over the years, and her OB did a few tests years ago and found out she had graves disease (tyroid problem for those who dont know) eariler in 2006, I thought i was going to lose her due to whtie cells going bye bye, she lost a bunch of weight in a short amount of time and was almost put into ICU to prevent any colds/infections.etc...since her blood count was soo low anything like that could've posibly been fatal. I'm sure this plays into a this problem and few other things I wont get into.

I've just never experienced a girl/woman that was'nt able to have sex more than twice in a 10 day stretch, and was looking for ideas of what might be to blame, or ideas to help us fix it.

M's girl: it's not about "fucking her more", it's about being able to spend intimate time with her since typically when she's sore she has no desire what so ever. Granted she plays the loving wife role and take care of me, but I'm bored to death with blow jobs and would like to get laid more than 2-3 times a month. My whole life I've been very active and this area of our relationship has always been the biggest downer since she's such a great person for me, I dont know if it's a ironic twist of sinical fate, or what. just looking for ideas and option to try and help us out.

 

[M's girl]

.......but I'm bored to death with blow jobs and would like to get laid more than 2-3 times a month.

Stick around here just a little longer and you will find out you haven't got it bad at all! If you truelly love someone you have to play with the cards you're dealt with... simple as that. She tries to make sex as interesting for YOU as is possible for HER. I would start appreciating that if I were you.....

 

[eudaemonia]

It certainly does appear to be a physiologically-based issue rather than one of simple desire, b/c as you said her body responds completely differently when she was off the pill.

As it seems the two of you already are addressing the purely medical aspects this, then maybe the merely erotic ones aren't going to be too helpful. Lube and more lube seems to be a common answer here for PIV or PIA questions. If rolling back to H20-based lubes help then my only additional thoughts are: 1) more lube (I know, that sounds lame); and 2) more foreplay (slightly less lame).

Liquid Silk gets a lot of raves around here as being the best water-based lube, especially for its sheer lasting powers.

Good luck and let us know how it's going.

 

[southernsky]

Make SURE that she goes to an OB/GYN and gets swabbed with a big q-tip and checked under the microscope to see what exact medication she needs for her yeast infection. Diflucan and OTC monostat, etc, do NOT always work, and many doctors don't realize that. She could very well have a yeast infection that needs a different drug, and that will make her very very sore. Please tell her to go to a different doctor, preferably a female, if her current GYN is not taking her seriously about the yeast infection.