"F-You!"-phemisms

[trysail]

"If your phone doesn't ring, you'll know it's me."

"You're lower than a garden slug."

 

[secretme]

Classics are best!

The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon! Where gotest thou that goose-look?

or

What artless fool-born lout doth play so foul?

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I don't know, I guess I was thinking of something... more genteel, if less viscerally satisfying. You know:


"You suffer from delusions of adequacy."

"Your village called. They want their idiot back."

"You want to talk? Was it about... anything?"

"You're the only person I've met who's still functional after a complete brain removal."

"Even assuming you might be right... who asked you?"


Or am I just living in the wrong century? DAMN that time-travel machine!

I guess I'm just a little too low-brow

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Let me see...

1. Did your mother have any children who lived?

2. You may think I'm an asshole, but your sister didn't when I did her.

3. Classic, inscribed on the back of a hot rod: AMF (Adios Muther Fucker)

4. What happened? Your mommy take a great big shit and have you?

5. What's your problem? You wearing your sister's thongs again?

6. You don't suffer from dislusions of inadiquacy. You ARE inadiquate.

 

[JamieB]

My all time fave

This one is from a very bad movie from the '80's.

"May a weighty object fall from a great height and flatten you to the insignificant thickness of your soul."

J

 

[Guest]

Don't know who originally came up with the line, but I've adapted it:

"You're living proof that a walk through the river of most souls will barely get your feet wet."

Then I walk away while they're still trying to figure it out.

 

[slyc_willie]

"Stick your head up your ass and sneeze." I think I first heard that in 9th grade.

"When you figure out how to grow up, let me know."

"You sound like you traded your IQ for your shoe size."

Just a few off the top of my head.