Female masturbation

[xherax]

My boyfriend has started to try and finger me but he can't seem to be giving me any pleasure [but a hole lot of pain], so I started to masturbate.

The only problem is that I can never get to orgasm, I get very close some times but never realy hit the right spot. So if anybody could share their experiences and recommend some techniques I would really appreciate it.

 

[Chicklet]

men don't really know shit about fingering a chick's pussy.

and unfortunately, until you know how to do it right, he's never going to learn.

when i started masturbating, i mostly did it in the bathtub. the warm water around my whole body made me pretty cozy, and also helped me feel clean in a place that otherwise makes me feel pretty dirty. so, it benefited me by helping me let go.

for me, personally, i have to have both penetration and clitoral stimulation in order to get off. but it's really just going to have to be something you experiment with and learn on your own.

 

[pellso27]

try laying on your stomach

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

I'm a guy so what do I know...right?!?

Here's my advice. Relax. Just keep doing what feels good to you and tune yourself into your body. If you feel your body reacting to what you're doing, keep doing that. If you don't, then change what you're doing until you feel your body reacting to it. By reacting I mean feeling horny, tummy and/or legs jumping a little, etc.

I think if you really relax and let yourself go, listen to your body react, and act accordingly, you'll have an orgasm in no time.

Also what was mentioned above about trying it laying on your stomach may work too...you may try to make a bit of a fist and hump it with your clit. That works for my lady.

Good luck. I think you'll be ok, I just think that the main thing is to relax and take the pressure off. Act like you don't care whether or not you get the orgasm and it will probably happen for you.

Jack

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

One more comment. I really know very little about getting a woman an orgasm. The only thing I know is from my own experience. That is when I have gotten my wife off. The way I do it is just like I'm describing to you. So I figure that if I can get her off and I can't feel what she feels, then you have a 1,000 % chance of getting yourself off if you can feel what you feel.

My instructions are based on some level of experience though, and I hope they work for you. If they don't, feel free to IM me and I'll get my wife (the expert) involved on your behalf.

Again, good luck!
Jack

 

[raniny]

I have a hard time getting myself off to so I know how you feel. I have found that I enjoy stories while I get off and that helps so much. I hope this helps. PM me if you want.

 

[Cathleen]

There are times no matter how long I try I just won't have an orgasm. There are times my mind gets in the way. There are times I hit the spot immediately. There are times... on and on.

Those times when I get in my own way it's usually because I'm tense physically and/or emotionally. I do my best relax and not get stressed that nothing is happening because that just adds to the problem. Take your time, relax, learn what works most of the time and remember you can stop and try another time.

As for the pain you feel when your BF tries to finger you, tell him! Learn together what you like, men (most of them) get lots of pleasure from your pleasure, vise versa with his pleasure too. Giving pleasure is a powerful feeling so talk with him and experiment together.

 

[iluvyou3638]

My boyfriend has started to try and finger me but he can't seem to be giving me any pleasure [but a hole lot of pain], so I started to masturbate.

The only problem is that I can never get to orgasm, I get very close some times but never realy hit the right spot. So if anybody could share their experiences and recommend some techniques I would really appreciate it.

man.....that happens to me like EVERY time. i am gonna be watching this thread.

 

[Noor]

My boyfriend has started to try and finger me but he can't seem to be giving me any pleasure [but a hole lot of pain], so I started to masturbate.

have him try his tongue...

 

[Trxjw]

men don't really know shit about fingering a chick's pussy.

and unfortunately, until you know how to do it right, he's never going to learn.

when i started masturbating, i mostly did it in the bathtub. the warm water around my whole body made me pretty cozy, and also helped me feel clean in a place that otherwise makes me feel pretty dirty. so, it benefited me by helping me let go.

for me, personally, i have to have both penetration and clitoral stimulation in order to get off. but it's really just going to have to be something you experiment with and learn on your own.

Did you really need to start out by taking a shot at us guys?

You're really the only one who can figure out what does it for you and what doesn't. I have a few standard "moves" that I've used on my gf's over the years, but theres always something different that really sends each girl over the edge.

Guys who pay attention are often rewarded with the ability to help their partner achieve an orgasm. If you want your bf to participate, have him work on you slowly and be vocal about what feels good and what doesn't. It's a start.

 

[SweetErika]

My boyfriend has started to try and finger me but he can't seem to be giving me any pleasure [but a hole lot of pain], so I started to masturbate.

The only problem is that I can never get to orgasm, I get very close some times but never realy hit the right spot. So if anybody could share their experiences and recommend some techniques I would really appreciate it.

Does he know he's hurting you? Are you guiding him through the experience, responding to his moves with stuff like:
Let's try being more gentle/going slower.
A little to the right/left or higher/lower.
Yeah, that feels incredible!
Perfect. Keep doing just that.
Try angling/moving the tips of your fingers toward my tummy.
Don't stop.
I need lube/water/a break.
etc.

Secondly, how are you currently masturbating? Clitoral or vaginal stimulation? Both? Something else? If we know what you're doing now, we can give better advice on what you might try.

Have you tried using a toy, like a vibrator or handheld shower massager, on/around your clit? If not, that might be something to try because most women find this type of stimulation to be very pleasurable and orgasm-inducing. Sometimes becoming orgasmic is just a matter of learning what the entire process feels like and gaining confidence in our ability to do so; toys can be very helpful in those ways.

Don't discount the mental component, either. Before you masturbate, treat yourself to a relaxing bath and some really good stories (or fantasies or porn, or whatever gets your mind going). When you're actually touching yourself, fantasize/think about the things you find really arousing. Or, maybe reading a great story while you touch yourself will work for you. This serves to ensure our biggest sex organ is primed for orgasm and distract us from thoughts that throw us off track, like, 'It seems like I should be coming by now. I wonder why I'm not.' Likewise, I'd encourage you to engage in the most arousing thoughts possible when you're with your partner. There's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasizing when we're with our partners, so relax and enjoy your most arousing thoughts!

 

[SweetIllusions]

I think a big problem in many cases is whether or not you're scared or too tense. Some women cant seem to 'lose control' in front of other people, and that really is what an orgasm is - when you feel totally unattached and floating through the skies (or however you want to describe it! lol).

Try to relax as much as possible, and dont think about anything but the sensations. For some people, masturbation while lying on their stomach is easier than on their back, so try new positions until you find one that works for you.

 

[LaynasJoy]

Masterbation

There are so many ways hun you can reach an orgasam....Its all experimental....Everyones different and likes different things......I started masterbating at an early age...I would lay in bed with my stuffed animal between my legs and rock and rock till I fell asleep....Then as I got into my teens and after getting my first few periods, when taking a bath one day I decided hey why not just let the water run into my pussy as Im lying in the tub thinking this way would really clean my pussy good....Little I did I know how Fucking great it felt to do this...

I would put the water on getting it to the right temperture....Do not fill the tub with water leave it unpluged....I would then get in and lay down and scoot all the way down to the faucet having my feet in the air...(I miss the old fashioned claw foot tubs they were more comfy cause you a place to rest your legs over the edge) your backside will be blocking the drain and the tub will start filling....Just Relax....

Take your hands and open up your pussy so that the water hits your bumpy little clit.....If you dont orgasam with this...Then I dont know what to tell you .....Just try it and see how it feels....

 

[SweetErika]

Layna, have you considered just getting a detachable showerhead with massage features? It's a hell of a lot easier than contorting to get under the faucet, and they have ones with extra long hoses so you could potentially lie down in the tub (though I've always just put my foot up on the side and leaned back against the wall.

You can get them for $15-40 (I'd suggest spending around $30, as the one I've had for 15+ years in that pricerange is still going strong), and they're actually really useful for showering, too! That was the explanation I used when I asked for one for Christmas as a teen - I wanted "to just be able to wash my body or hair sometimes" and lo and behold, my mom got me one. She didn't wonder when I took it with me in college, either, because it was a quality one.

I was able to install it myself without a problem at 14 or so, so they're pretty damn easy to switch out for the regular heads.

 

[LaynasJoy]

I have a Massage shower head, but prefer the faucet method. It leaves my hands free to do what I want with them like finger fuck my pussy or to play with my ass and its also more relaxing lying down in the water....As the tub fills up I just lift my ass up closer to the faucet to let some water out ....I just love doing this......When in the shower with hubby he loves using the shower head on me......

But for that alone time its the faucet for me

 

[hand2hand]

lay on your back and have your mate insert one or two fingers inside your vigina with his palm up. Then have him curl the fingers up and he'll feel a spongy ridge or "button". Have him just rub all around that spot and gently alternating pressure on it. Even better if he will go down and lick on and suck on your clit at the same time. Shouldn't hurt but after a few minutes you may be surprised how you'll surprise him. You may become very sensitive after cumming.

 

[Beaforce]

Foreplay is not just for sex

My boyfriend has started to try and finger me but he can't seem to be giving me any pleasure [but a hole lot of pain], so I started to masturbate.

The only problem is that I can never get to orgasm, I get very close some times but never realy hit the right spot. So if anybody could share their experiences and recommend some techniques I would really appreciate it.

I think the main thing is to be mentally in the moment. If you are worrying about am "I going to orgasm" or "am I doing the right techniques" you won't get there. Take your time. You may think foreplay is something you just do with your boyfriend you're wrong. Pamper yourself. Take the time to soak in the bath, read a few stories on Lit to put yourself in the mood. Slowly learn about your body. Have discovery sessions that are just about finding what feels good and not trying to have an orgasm. When you are comfortable in the situation and comfortable with your body you will achieve orgasm.

As far as techniques prefer clit stimulation to fingering anyway. Of course you can't just jump into hard stimulation on your clit so I like to build up to it. Whether over a few minutes, hours, or all day is up to you and what you need at the time.

With my boyfriend communication is key. If he is hurting me I tell him and we change what we're doing (unless its hurting really good of course ). You might want to stick to other stimulation other than fingering. Maybe have him perform oral on you. Licking and being penetrated with his tounge will be much softer contact and you can discover what else you enjoy!

 

[PassionateStars]

Watching

It is very sweet how turned on a lover can get as she is being watched by her guy (or woman) while she masturbates. mmmm!

 

[TurquoiseCharm]

S-L-O-W-L-Y... Anything rushed or tense with interfere. Make sure you have time to be alone, turn off the phone, and relax. Get to know yourself.

 

[starlightqueen]

Don't get too discouraged! It took me *years* with the most patient of boyfriends and trying things solo till my hands cramped. None of the standard "just play with your clit till it builds..." advice worked (and I read it all).

Needless to say, I'm a huge fan of my vibrator . I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to stop being shy about buying one. There are lots that are pretty, feminine, small, and quiet which is much easier to start with than something with 5 arms and a separate dial for each.

The only downside is the small mountain of AAA batteries I've amassed . I've got to invest in something rechargable soon.

 

[SweetErika]

The only downside is the small mountain of AAA batteries I've amassed . I've got to invest in something rechargable soon.

There are rechargeable AAA batteries out there. When we bought a AA charger for our camera, it came with a couple of AAA batteries as well.

We've always used rechargeable batteries in our vibes because it's a lot cheaper, environmentally friendly and we always have an extra set on hand. Although, these days we favor plug-in vibes, like the Magic Wand, most of the time.

For a vibe newbie, I'd advise getting ones that take at least two AA batteries and have variable/adjustable speed (most do). You can always power down or find ways to make a vibe less intense, but there's no way to add power to a wimpy vibe (AAA batteries = too wimpy for me).

 

[SweetIllusions]

Ahahaha i can relate with the small pile of AAA batteries... then i bought rechargable ones and i feel environmentally friendly too

 

[sarah_rsl]

My boyfriend has started to try and finger me but he can't seem to be giving me any pleasure [but a hole lot of pain], so I started to masturbate.

The only problem is that I can never get to orgasm, I get very close some times but never realy hit the right spot. So if anybody could share their experiences and recommend some techniques I would really appreciate it.

Maturbation is a pretty poor substitute for sex. I've always been of the opinion that a second class shag is better than a first class wank. You really need to sort out the problems you're having with your Boyfriend. Your, boyfriend should really know not to try and insert anything into you even a finger if you're not lubricated first.

You didn't say if you were a virgin but if you are you know it takes a while to get used to a guy touching you intimitely. With my first bf I made quite clear the rules before I let him put his hands down my knickers for the first time, I made him ask me each time and not just sneak his hand in. and it took quite a long time before I was ready to go further. After a while I kind of got used to dealing with a horny semi naked guy touching me.

The first orgasam I had with him I gave myself, I masturbated while we snogged. He didn't seem to mind and I let him finger me a little after while he masturbated.

I think the key thing to remember is that sex really should involve another person. You're boyfriend might be a little clumsey but at least you're interacting with another person and not just wanking alone in your room.

 

[mrguitarmn]

Maturbation is a pretty poor substitute for sex. I've always been of the opinion that a second class shag is better than a first class wank. You really need to sort out the problems you're having with your Boyfriend. Your, boyfriend should really know not to try and insert anything into you even a finger if you're not lubricated first.

You didn't say if you were a virgin but if you are you know it takes a while to get used to a guy touching you intimitely. With my first bf I made quite clear the rules before I let him put his hands down my knickers for the first time, I made him ask me each time and not just sneak his hand in. and it took quite a long time before I was ready to go further. After a while I kind of got used to dealing with a horny semi naked guy touching me.

The first orgasam I had with him I gave myself, I masturbated while we snogged. He didn't seem to mind and I let him finger me a little after while he masturbated.

I think the key thing to remember is that sex really should involve another person. You're boyfriend might be a little clumsey but at least you're interacting with another person and not just wanking alone in your room.

True, but sometimes masturbating alone might help her communicate to her boyfriend what feels good and only she will be able to figure that our for herself.

 

[PassionateStars]

Am here wondering

Hi all -- re-reading the thread - Quite delicious. As a man who Loves watching a lover touch herself - it is a delight to read! Here with camera if you want to say hi or talk on phone.

D