"Femdom"... for real..?

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

Which is why I've asked the question of the wider membership...

... and so far, quite frankly, I've yet to hear anyone claim that they actually know of a situation where this happens in reality. I can't say I'm surprised and it's no bad reflection on anyone here. It's just that it must be, I would guess, a supremely rare situation/occurrence... or possibly very well concealed. More or less what I was expecting.

Yes, it seems to be extremely rare.

In my time, I've worked four cuckold cases, and all of them ended in at least one person turning up dead.
In the first one, the man killed himself after losing his job, leaving behind a note saying something along the lines of now being completely useless.
The second one killed himself after the kids found out, ending in his whole family and all of his friends losing respect for and distancing themselves from him.
The third one was accidentally killed by the wife and her lover.
And the fourth one snapped after the wife overestimated his submissiveness, first killing the bull and then proceeding to stab his wife ~37 times before turning himself in.

So, that alone makes me believe that it's nowhere near as widespread as one might think after taking a look at the submissions in the LW section. Also, when asked, none of the actors in cuckold relationships or FLMs could name more than one other couple they personally know sharing that lifestyle, if they could name one at all.

 

[NoTalentHack]

what is Sigma male I’ve not heard of it?

It’s more unscientific alpha/beta nonsense.

 

[000zing]

Indeed, total nonsense. I personally am either a Kappa or a Pi male, so called as I am probably not myself of a morning until I've had my first Kappa tea, accompanied by a slice of apple Pi.

I could put it in more abstruse freudian/jungian terms for the sake of those who are apparently ever impressed by cool-sounding terminology - but that's about all it comes down to.

I suppose I could Eta croissant, at a pinch...

 

[Luganis]

'Non-consensual femdom' is usually called an abusive relationship. Plenty of literature on how those can start.

Sub/dom is consensual or it's abuse. 'True femdom' has to go one way or the other.

True FemDom and FLR is what today’s Toxic Feminism promotes.

This new form of extreme feminism pushes for women to enjoy the security offered by a submissive cuck but soon they discover they also want the “dominant sex drive” of the bull

 

[madelinemasoch]

I'm not talking about matters as weak as "FLR" which is precious little more than an agreed arrangement. I'm talking real, honest-to-goodness unasked-for but successfully carried-out domination of the male by the female...

... IF such a thing really exists...

... and for which, generally speaking, both superior psychological and at least equal physical attributes would be necessary.

I have personal experience being dominated by women, and I'll tell you the last part is far from the truth (lol...)

 

[madelinemasoch]

True FemDom and FLR is what today’s Toxic Feminism promotes.

This new form of extreme feminism pushes for women to enjoy the security offered by a submissive cuck but soon they discover they also want the “dominant sex drive” of the bull

Feminism has everything to do with telling women it's "empowering" to sell themselves to men and selling women the lie that their submission to men is their "agencial choice" and has absolutely nothing to do with femdom. Feminism is in Femdom's way.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Feminism has everything to do with telling women it's "empowering" to sell themselves to men and selling women the lie that their submission to men is their "agencial choice" and has absolutely nothing to do with femdom. Feminism is in Femdom's way.

I had walked away from the thread as it seemed to be going nowhere and toxic feminism is as useless as a label as toxic masculinity. But, I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic about your comment or not so in the strange case that you’re not how did we get from this definition of

feminism - the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.

to your definition, whether you’re a feminist or not (I am) I don’t we should be allowed our own definitions of words.

 

[madelinemasoch]

I had walked away from the thread as it seemed to be going nowhere and toxic feminism is as useless as a label as toxic masculinity. But, I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic about your comment or not so in the strange case that you’re not how did we get from this definition of

feminism - the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.

to your definition, whether you’re a feminist or not (I am) I don’t we should be allowed our own definitions of words.

Newsflash, buddy, that's how words work!

The meaning of a word has never been limited to what some sot wrote down in a dictionary. Using dictionary definitions as an intellectual crutch is a sign of a horribly weak and deficient brain.

Functional literacy is on the decline in the west, so I'm not blaming you personally.

Obviously I'm talking about the actual feminist movement as it exists in reality and not a contrived sentence written down on a Google search bar.

 

[000zing]

As the OP, could I kindly ask you to cease and desist? I think I already have a fairly clear answer to my original question - slagging others off gratuitously is not furthering the cause. Nobody here is an evil-doer so can we just calm down? Too much to ask?

 

[YesIamReal]

I have definitely encountered a true femdom "in the wild". It was on a vanilla online dating app.
She told me there was something i "should know about her". We never did meet, but discussed relationships and sexuality openly. She told me how she became a professional dominatrix. It is almost invariable that a real domme will become a pro as there are so many men out there willing to pay big dollars for this.

She said the first day she went home from work her panties were sopping wet. But after six months it had become a job. There just wasn't the thrill in it anymore, and being professionally educated, she didn't need the money from it (though it was a LOT of money).

It was an interesting bunch of conversations. I thought it wouldn't work between us as I have a very naturally dominant nature in the bedroom. Then she told me how a previous night she had had a "very" submissive dream about me, her first one ever, and that she woke up extremely thrown by the experience, but aroused and wet. She never would tell me what it was about, and we didn't talk for very long after that.

 

[000zing]

I have definitely encountered a true femdom "in the wild". It was on a vanilla online dating app.
She told me there was something i "should know about her". We never did meet, but discussed relationships and sexuality openly. She told me how she became a professional dominatrix. It is almost invariable that a real domme will become a pro as there are so many men out there willing to pay big dollars for this.

She said the first day she went home from work her panties were sopping wet. But after six months it had become a job. There just wasn't the thrill in it anymore, and being professionally educated, she didn't need the money from it (though it was a LOT of money).

It was an interesting bunch of conversations. I thought it wouldn't work between us as I have a very naturally dominant nature in the bedroom. Then she told me how a previous night she had had a "very" submissive dream about me, her first one ever, and that she woke up extremely thrown by the experience, but aroused and wet. She never would tell me what it was about, and we didn't talk for very long after that.

I don't think I'm getting through to people.

What you've described is a financial arrangement. What I want to know is whether anyone has encountered a genuine case of a woman dominating a man sexually - NOT simply psychologically and still less "financially" - such that she takes her physical, sexual satisfaction from him, as and when she chooses, whether he "wishes to" or not.

To me, this would be the only kind of "femdom" worth the name and, frankly, I think the whole thing is otherwise simply a product of male fantasising, a la cuckqueanery.

 

[karmadreamer52]

I'm aware that the concept exists "in reality" inasmuch as it takes the form of, in all but name, a game played between consenting adults. That's one thing... but...

... I'd be fascinated to know whether true femdom has been encountered by anyone here among people they've encountered. Perhaps it's possible to imagine a couple where the guy is not just mentally weaker, which tends to be something of a prerequisite, but also perhaps physically. I'm thinking of those two aspects really, although I'm aware that other matters like blackmail may also come into play, such that the male is forced to do the female's bidding.

Any thoughts very welcome.

I have never encountered it exactly but my wife took self defense classes and then got interested in Tae-Kwon-Do, so much so she became a student blackbelt before giving it up. During that time, she had to learn submission holds and she would practice them on me. She would never purposely hurt me but she also didn't want me to pretend or give up easy because she needed to really learn the moves. Let me say, the moves did hurt and did cause pain.
I have always had very submissive tendencies buried deep inside me but she never has shown any desire to be dominant. Let me say that if she had those tendencies, she could have used those skills she learned to force me to do her bidding.

 

[NancyPan]

I don’t understand this thread or the various responses to it. Of course FemDom and FLR exists in real life. I am in such a relationship and have communicated about it on this forum in threads abou FLR and erotic humiliation. I have communicated with other men here who have wives who dominate them.

 

[000zing]

I don’t understand this thread or the various responses to it. Of course FemDom and FLR exists in real life. I am in such a relationship and have communicated about it on this forum in threads abou FLR and erotic humiliation. I have communicated with other men here who have wives who dominate them.

I wasn't expecting this to be revived. I refer you to post #36. If you can state categorically that your relationship is of your choosing alone and not an arrangement which is approved by both sides, then I accept your "of course"... and I would be interested to hear more, specifically as to how you succeed in dominating a male sexually irrespective of his wishes.

If not, and it is simply an arrangement arrived at with the agreement of the male partner, then this isn't any kind of "female domination". You have your so-called domination strictly by male consent.

 

[NoTalentHack]

I wasn't expecting this to be revived. I refer you to post #36. If you can state categorically that your relationship is of your choosing alone and not an arrangement which is approved by both sides, then I accept your "of course"... and I would be interested to hear more, specifically as to how you succeed in dominating a male sexually irrespective of his wishes.

If not, and it is simply an arrangement arrived at with the agreement of the male partner, then this isn't any kind of "female domination". You have your so-called domination strictly by male consent.

The problem is that, as described, you’re talking about multiple felonies. I don’t think you’re going to get much of a bite on that.

 

[nested456]

I wasn't expecting this to be revived. I refer you to post #36. If you can state categorically that your relationship is of your choosing alone and not an arrangement which is approved by both sides, then I accept your "of course"... and I would be interested to hear more, specifically as to how you succeed in dominating a male sexually irrespective of his wishes.

If not, and it is simply an arrangement arrived at with the agreement of the male partner, then this isn't any kind of "female domination". You have your so-called domination strictly by male consent.

In real life noone can legally be held in slavery, and sex must be consensual. In fiction, we can explore alternatives - hence this site.

I have a story: https://literotica.com/s/his-first-session

That might be what you're looking for. The comments said it wouldn't happen in real life, no it wouldn't, but it's exploring the scenario. If anyone likes the genre I'll write more.

 

[000zing]

The problem is that, as described, you’re talking about multiple felonies. I don’t think you’re going to get much of a bite on that.

And I'm talking about the fact that, in real life, people do commit felonies and get away with them all the time. As Exhibit A I refer you to the likes of Messrs Trump & Co or, on this side of the pond, B. Johnson and cronies.

My aim in starting the thread was to try to elicit whether anyone could vouch for genuine femdom's existence from some kind of personal knowledge, not to tease out confessions or guilty personal secrets. My conclusion so far is that it is the stuff of fantasies, much like "cuckqueanery" which I had queried earlier. Both seem to exist in RL only as agreed arrangements rather than real, from the gut phenomena.

I can only shrug and remain open to being convinced to the contrary.

 

[NancyPan]

If you are talking about non consensual FemDom, no, I doubt that it exists, and I do not think it should exist. My relationship is consensual and has evolved.

 

[000zing]

If you are talking about non consensual FemDom, no, I doubt that it exists, and I do not think it should exist. My relationship is consensual and has evolved.

Fine, but that is FemDomByPermission... nothing more, nothing less. As such, everything you do within it bears that "permission" stamp, whether or not you like to be reminded thereof.

To me, the whole idea of domination cannot be hemmed around by permissions from the dominated. That is a self-evident nonsense and counter-intuitive to the Nth.

 

[NoTalentHack]

Fine, but that is FemDomByPermission... nothing more, nothing less. As such, everything you do within it bears that "permission" stamp, whether or not you like to be reminded thereof.

To me, the whole idea of domination cannot be hemmed around by permissions from the dominated. That is a self-evident nonsense and counter-intuitive to the Nth.

Rape. You’re talking about rape. Hence why you’re not going to get any takers on this; who’s going to admit to that in a way that implicates themself? On the flip side, no one that’s suffered from this is going to want to say “oh, yeah, I totally got molested, here’s the details so you can get off!”

And the dominated/domination stuff, outside of rape and abuse is ALWAYS negotiated between the D/s couple. Anything other than that, in real life, is repellent.

 

[NancyPan]

No consensual sexual domination is, without question, abuse. If that’s what you are interested in, count me out!!!!

 

[SteelPoint]

And I'm talking about the fact that, in real life, people do commit felonies and get away with them all the time. As Exhibit A I refer you to the likes of Messrs Trump & Co or, on this side of the pond, B. Johnson and cronies.

My aim in starting the thread was to try to elicit whether anyone could vouch for genuine femdom's existence from some kind of personal knowledge, not to tease out confessions or guilty personal secrets. My conclusion so far is that it is the stuff of fantasies, much like "cuckqueanery" which I had queried earlier. Both seem to exist in RL only as agreed arrangements rather than real, from the gut phenomena.

I can only shrug and remain open to being convinced to the contrary.

I sympathise with you.

You have the "NO TO RAPE" hysterics in town: people who can't or won't think clearly and distinguish between real life and fiction. You've explained very clearly indeed that you're simply interested in knowing whether femdom actually exists in reality rather than the usual cosy play arrangement. You've explained that you're not expecting anyone to 'implicate themself'...

... and STILL the ranters strut their stuff, trying to impute to you intentions which aren't there. I presume they're deliberately trying to court popularity with others or simply look oh-so-piously angelic. I don't remember seeing much of them before on SI. We do get periodic invasions of self-appointed guardians of virtue here. Just ignore them. I imagine they'll soon be off elsewhere to ply their "looking cool" trade, once they think they've denounced you enough for wanting to abuse and rape everyone as you obviously do!

 

[NoTalentHack]

I sympathise with you.

You have the "NO TO RAPE" hysterics in town: people who can't or won't think clearly and distinguish between real life and fiction. You've explained very clearly indeed that you're simply interested in knowing whether femdom actually exists in reality rather than the usual cosy play arrangement. You've explained that you're not expecting anyone to 'implicate themself'...

... and STILL the ranters strut their stuff, trying to impute to you intentions which aren't there. I presume they're deliberately trying to court popularity with others or simply look oh-so-piously angelic. I don't remember seeing much of them before on SI. We do get periodic invasions of self-appointed guardians of virtue here. Just ignore them. I imagine they'll soon be off elsewhere to ply their "looking cool" trade, once they think they've denounced you enough for wanting to abuse and rape everyone as you obviously do!

Except… this IS Story Ideas. I have no problem with what people want to write, but he’s asking, in a forum dedicated to story ideas, for real world examples of physically forced femdom, i.e. sexual abuse. No one (or at least I’m not) is saying “No! Bad!” to NC/R stories. Hell, I’ve written some. But this is both the wrong forum to ask the question AND it’s unlikely they’ll get any real responses due to the nature of the question and the real world implications of the answers.

Chill. No one’s coming for your noncon stroke stories.

“Guardians of virtue” lol. Between you and I, which of us had actually written and published stories here including noncon, cruel cuckqueaning, cuckolding, and outright murder?

 

[madelinemasoch]

There's a gradient between r*pe and femdom that isn't cozy/calculated/a fucking game you're playing. I have examples within that gradient, but you're not getting them for free.

 

[SteelPoint]

Except… this IS Story Ideas. I have no problem with what people want to write, but he’s asking, in a forum dedicated to story ideas, for real world examples of physically forced femdom, i.e. sexual abuse. No one (or at least I’m not) is saying “No! Bad!” to NC/R stories. Hell, I’ve written some. But this is both the wrong forum to ask the question AND it’s unlikely they’ll get any real responses due to the nature of the question and the real world implications of the answers.

Chill. No one’s coming for your noncon stroke stories.

“Guardians of virtue” lol. Between you and I, which of us had actually written and published stories here including noncon, cruel cuckqueaning, cuckolding, and outright murder?

It is not me who needs to "chill".

They're neither "my stories", nor have I asked any "questions"... but unlike you I can appreciate that the OP was well within his rights to pose a challenge to those who insist there are such things in reality as cuckqueans and "femdom". All too predictably, he gets landed on by the self-appointed worthy brigade who decide that this is a good opportunity to parade their false self-righteousness before what they fondly imagine to be an adoring public. I've got news for you: nobody much is bothered.

I see no "asking for real world examples" on the part of the OP. I see merely a request for confirmation. He seems quite content with trusting members' veracity... an exceedingly dubious move on here, if you ask me. You are putting words into his mouth to support your hyper-critical stance.

Whether any responses are "unlikely" is also a speculative matter which lies entirely outside the issue at hand. The OP will have to put up with what he gets and it isn't your place or mine, on the basis of that likelihood, to deny his right to put the challenge.

I applaud the OP for having the nerve to question the real-life existence of these things. He wasn't looking for story ideas. I suspect he, like more than one of us, has wondered whether the mountain of stories based on what are, at heart, simple arrangement-type voluntary fetishes, has not reached absurd proportions, not justified remotely by what happens in reality if such things are to be taken literally.

Finally, I congratulate you on your apparent belief that publishing stories here is some kind of feather in your cap. This sheds some considerable light on what value there is in the arguments you deploy... and also, dare I say it, on your choice of username.