Fetish Origins

[GoodGirlsDeserveFun]

Most fetishes have their roots in certain experiences. Do you know where yours came from?

With women I'm very Dom. I expect total obedience and enjoy a woman who I can share, loan or pass around without question.

With guys I'm very sub. I don't have to be attracted to the man, or even like him. I just want to suck his cock and for him to hold me down and fuck me like a slut.

I know (I think) where this came from. When I was a teenager I found out my parents were swingers, firstly by hidden contact mags with some entries underlined or circled (took me a while to figure out what VVWE meant, there was no internet then) and eventually the holy grail, a stack of polaroids of mostly my mother, some with other men.

So with women, I guess, I'm mirroring my dad. With guys, I'm trying to experience what she experienced.

I think for a long time I wouldn't talk about anything to do with sex.

So exhibitionism is a real turn on to me because it goes against everything I lived growing up. It also goes against what I think is proper or ladylike haha. Not that it's going to stop me recording orgasms, piss audios and showing my tits on the internet. I'm definitely happier knowing myself better now.

 

[Servileone13]

I believe I owe my desire to submit to my first GF. She took my virginity and then some! She was insatiable, and took the time to teach me just what she wanted, where she wanted it done and how she wanted me to do it. Back then i didn't see it as dominating me, but she was. We had sex whenever and where ever she wanted. Some places where quite risky but I could never say no. I felt bad when we broke up because when ever someone said her name or we were in the same room my dick got hard so I avoided her like the plague. Boy if i knew now, what I didn't know then....

 

[Wonderer67]

Ok this will sound weird.

When I was a kid, watching Batman (the original campy one), I always wanted to get tied up like when Batman and Robin struggled against their ropes. I don’t know why. It wasnt sexual I don’t think. Plus there was catwoman…

Also as a kid, I remember seeing a magazine article about kids being kidnapped and I always wanted to be tied up. I don’t know why this was something I wanted.

Many years ago, when in college, I met a woman who was a dominatrix. Not pro, but she really wanted to dominate men. She and I were both a bit older than the other college students. She was a survivor of a sexual assault, and I think her desire to be in control was a result of that.

She introduced me to bdsm and being tied up and unable to move in a sexual sense.

My wife and I were just talking about all of this and the roots of our fantasies and kinks. We are reading a book of sexual fantasies by Nancy Friday.

 

[theMasterBaiter]

Mine came from a sexual assault. I have friends that have similar. Either we do it intentionally to have control over the fetish so it can’t be done TO us, or the adrenaline of a danger memory kicks in, we leave team and enter a state of “now”, which is what happens with most trauma response. While the “now” can be sexually liberating, this particular response can lead to declining mental health and has often left me crying after the sex. Do not recommend.

Oh, this is really important. I write unpopular but thought provoking stories about the line between good and bad and I'm working on a new one that I want to get right. So I appreciate your sharing about this difficult subject. Any chance you would be willing to share more about it? Either here or in private? I really want to understand what triggers the sadness and if you are able to enjoy kinky sex without it being sad. E g. What does and doesn't work happily for you.

 

[Phatfeet]

I grew up in church and in those early years most church-goers dressed well. Seeing such things as pantyhose and high heels was a common sight. As I did, my father would often comment that he "liked legs" and with adults (when my mother was not around) would often openly talk about it. I think that gave me a sense of "permission" to like high heels and pantyhose, which I have.

 

[AlexBailey]

I have so many kinks and fetishes… They only became sexual later in life.

I was a tagalong when my older sister was in dance and theater and I often ended up in supporting roles - such as Toto when she played Dorothy, or as Sandy for Annie. Having a bunch of older girls loving and petting me while I was in costume was formative.

Being bound up in a papoose board (look it up) by my doctor so he could stitch my forehead for a couple of different injuries made a lasting impression.

Playing tie up games…growing too big for my wetsuit but wearing it anyway…being mistaken for a girl and told how pretty I was…

Later being told by my stepfather that I would never be a real man…

 

[subbyclarajane]

Oh, this is really important. I write unpopular but thought provoking stories about the line between good and bad and I'm working on a new one that I want to get right. So I appreciate your sharing about this difficult subject. Any chance you would be willing to share more about it? Either here or in private? I really want to understand what triggers the sadness and if you are able to enjoy kinky sex without it being sad. E g. What does and doesn't work happily for you.

DM me.

 

[Wonderer67]

I have a fascination with medical situations. Being examined. Being humiliated (think naked and exposed) in front of a cold medical professional really turns me on.

I’ve written a few stories about this.

I don’t know where the origin of this comes from tho.

 

[SmokingFap]

Both of my biggest fetishes began well before I even reached puberty. My mother was very pretty, a former model, and she was very liberal about nudity around the house when I was growing up. And she was never without one of her beloved Virginia Slims menthol cigarettes. So I was pretty much doomed to be obsessed with incest and pretty women smoking since before I could even fantasize and jerk off thinking about them.

 

[old_hippy_46]

Most fetishes have their roots in certain experiences. Do you know where yours came from?

With women I'm very Dom. I expect total obedience and enjoy a woman who I can share, loan or pass around without question.

With guys I'm very sub. I don't have to be attracted to the man, or even like him. I just want to suck his cock and for him to hold me down and fuck me like a slut.

I know (I think) where this came from. When I was a teenager I found out my parents were swingers, firstly by hidden contact mags with some entries underlined or circled (took me a while to figure out what VVWE meant, there was no internet then) and eventually the holy grail, a stack of polaroids of mostly my mother, some with other men.

So with women, I guess, I'm mirroring my dad. With guys, I'm trying to experience what she experienced.

My enema fetish originated in growing up in the era where enemas were very common and practiced by many families.
When I got enemas i never fussed or objected, truth is I liked it when Mom gave me enemas. Early on I figured out how to manipulate her by gaining illness.

 

[UtilityCurve]

In the past year, I have found that watching women's breasts being whipped or flogged REALLY turns me on!

What's interesting is that previously, it didn't. Not even remotely, perhaps was even a hard turn-off.

Now I crave it, particularly when another woman (cruelly--it's a kind of dominance/superiority thing) worlds the whip/flogger.

 

[PleasureDaddy]

In the 70s (probably still are) there were sex paperbacks. Some of them included photos. We used to find them all the time out in the wild. One in particular was about obedience and teaching a woman to fuck like a slut. The first scene was making her squat on a man’s cock to slowly stretch her pussy. They then had her stretch her ass with the man’s cock. It was so dirty and hot at the same time.

 

[Loyalish1245]

I can trace every single fetish I have backed something that happened around puberty or that time. some mundane ones and some extreme ones all helped shape the kinks and fetishes I have today.

 

[UtilityCurve]

In the 70s (probably still are) there were sex paperbacks. Some of them included photos. We used to find them all the time out in the wild. One in particular was about obedience and teaching a woman to fuck like a slut. The first scene was making her squat on a man’s cock to slowly stretch her pussy. They then had her stretch her ass with the man’s cock. It was so dirty and hot at the same time.

I really do wonder if that's an experience "of an age." It's a whole other deal leaving your iPad out in the woods!

Bottom line: It was once harder, MUCH harder to sneak porn Into your home and keep it hidden from your mom. Today's boys (and girls, I suppose--but I think "dirty pictures" still interest boys 95 to 1 to girls) have it easy.

 

[PleasureDaddy]

I really do wonder if that's an experience "of an age." It's a whole other deal leaving your iPad out in the woods!

Bottom line: It was once harder, MUCH harder to sneak porn Into your home and keep it hidden from your mom. Today's boys (and girls, I suppose--but I think "dirty pictures" still interest boys 95 to 1 to girls) have it easy.

Oh I never brought the naughty books into the house. Even magazines we used to have woods stashes

 

[Thomas_Hardy]

Sweden was a Mecca for printed porn in the 80s, glossy or otherwise. In a choir at the time being hosted by local families while touring the country. One guy lived in a big house all by himself, and either willfully or by negligent omission had these magazines lying around among his other books and newspapers. Needless to say we slept very little while staying with him!

 

[UtilityCurve]

Oh I never brought the naughty books into the house. Even magazines we used to have woods stashes

Not in my climate! They would never have lasted.

 

[Loyalish1245]

Not in my climate! They would never have lasted.

Same here

 

[PleasureDaddy]

Not in my climate! They would never have lasted.

Oh they don’t last long in my state due to humidity. But if we got three months out of the porn mag stash it was a success.

 

[PegMahone]

I was in my early 20s. I have seen porn where women love getting it in the ass and it made me curious. A huge turn on for me is pleasuring others. Watching girls loose their minds with anal was definitely something I wanted to try.

I’m not much to look at and I’m no ladies man. So I never had the kinds of girls that were kinky with me up to that point. I had a girl I was with for a long time and she always refused to let me fuck her ass no matter how much I could tell she loved when I went down on her and put a finger in her butt. It always made her cum and her ass gripping my finger when she did, as her body violently shook from the massive orgasm.

She would, like so many others say no, anal hurts or girls just like it for the camera. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I needed to know if it felt good or not in real life.

So I decided to try it myself one day. I found a fat finger sized candle when I was alone and laid on the couch. Gently I lubed myself up and slowly stuck the candle in side my ass.

It was surprising, it did not hurt. It felt good and exotic. I started pumping my cock with my free hand and in just a few minutes I was hit with a very powerful orgasm. I was shocked.

Around an hour later I tried again but with just the candle. This time I came from the candle alone. I was dumbfounded. But also ashamed because back then it carried more of a stigma than it does now. I couldn’t tell anyone and my girl would not approve and just consider that I’m gay or something.

I didn’t expect that it would feel so good. I would catch myself waiting for time alone so I could try it again. Each time I was rocked with an orgasm greater than my dick alone could provide and each time my shame grew.

It became a guilty pleasure I had to keep to myself. It festered for years into a full blown fetish. Later I discovered how much stimulants amplified the amazing feeling of getting it in the ass and my girl at the time was a lot more relaxed about things so I got to explore more with various drugs and eventually she agreed to peg me.

Not being in control drove me wild. Being pressed to the bed with her big tits pressed on my back as I was fucked into the mattress was otherworldly and I absolutely fell in love at that point.

We broke up and I moved far away. I knew no one really but if found a connection to some stimulant designer drugs and began to play with toys alone and the drugs made my ass needy.

This went on for half a year before I kicked the stims but I was older now. I did not give a shit what anyone thought. Adding toys to my private solo sessions made up for being alone. I then decided to just accept that I love it and be open about it if I ever got involved with a woman again. I was pretty beat up from past relationships at the time so my hopes were pretty low I would ever find anyone regardless.

Eventually I convinced my long time crush to go out with me. We hit it off better than I ever imagined. She was my dream girl and now she was naked next to me. She then asked me if I liked my ass played with. I froze, do I tell her the truth and possibly scare her away? Or do I lie and have to play coy as I rediscover anal sex with her over the course of years.

So I thought, if she is really my dream girl then the truth will be accepted. So I told the truth and she was into it. Now we are happily married and our sex life is very free without judgement or shame. She has a wild streak and has made me curious about shit I never thought I would be curious about. She is very supportive and does not mind if I ride toys alone when she is tired.

I wish I did not know how good it felt sometimes. Butt, I do and now getting it in my ass is my biggest fetish. I would rather take it in the ass than give it if I was forced to choose at this point.