Fetish Origins

[magic_rat]

Most fetishes have their roots in certain experiences. Do you know where yours came from?

With women I'm very Dom. I expect total obedience and enjoy a woman who I can share, loan or pass around without question.

With guys I'm very sub. I don't have to be attracted to the man, or even like him. I just want to suck his cock and for him to hold me down and fuck me like a slut.

I know (I think) where this came from. When I was a teenager I found out my parents were swingers, firstly by hidden contact mags with some entries underlined or circled (took me a while to figure out what VVWE meant, there was no internet then) and eventually the holy grail, a stack of polaroids of mostly my mother, some with other men.

So with women, I guess, I'm mirroring my dad. With guys, I'm trying to experience what she experienced.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Being able to experiment with the right person.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I have a fetish of giving hair jobs/getting my hair fucked and getting thick cum all over my hair. I would love to hear some theories about why I might have such a fetish.

Are you a hairdresser?

 

[Goldenfinger]

No. I don't have any work history related to hair.

Besides cumming on your hair do you have a very erotic activity that happened to you that your hair unexpectedly played a role.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I think it could be my parents and bullying, so it made me sub.

 

[emme8]

A true fetish i dont have.
But I think my submission originates from guilt. I needed to be a good girl and a proper lady.
So make me act naughty, punish me for being a slut, then fuck the hell out of me. Unless I'm doing the same to him.

 

[davion2308]

I have a public nudity/exhibitionism fetish that goes along with enjoying my relationship with my woman. It started when I was a very young man and watched the movie "Splash." Darryl Hannah walking across the lawn of the Statue of Liberty entirely nude unlocked so many things in me. I enjoy including elements of exposure and public play with my pet. She enjoys it too because of how strongly I react.

 

[varv]

Alas, I suffer from this too. And, the roots are also in childhood. And in general, all our sins have their roots in him. It's just that someone remembers, and for someone it happened subconsciously. I remember my beginning well. Under the circumstances, I ran naked in the yard. From the bathhouse to the house. It was in the village. I was about 10 years old or so. And then, the usual childish curiosity and a test of courage.

 

[OtherwisePrint6210]

Still running from the bath house to the house?

 

[PaxNurgle]

It's complicated. First of all, it was ingrained in me (Due to many life experiences I don't have time to relate) to be submissive, to never make the first move but rather, to let her make the first move, and to take extra caution so as not to be aggressive or creepy. And also, to be a gentleman, respectful and polite, and to treat my date like a queen. And, my own personal values are that it's better to give than receive. So that, in part, led to my current mindset.

As for being "kinky?" Well, I admit, I watched a documentary of a BDSM dungeon with several Mistresses abusing/tormenting their clients in various ways. The girl I was watching it with happened to be stunningly beautiful, and although we were never romantically involved, I began to imagine her tying me up, ordering me onto my knees, and subjecting me to all sorts of deliciously degrading things. It was a pandora's box of sub-frenzied emotions that I actually regret ever opening, as it has made it harder to settle for "Vanilla" relationship, which is hard enough to find in and of itself these days.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I used to see mamono in the MGE in which Kejōrō had long beautiful hair and gave hair jobs.

 

[varv]

Still running from the bath house to the house?

I've outgrown that. And the bathhouse has been gone for a long time. Now I ask my husband to take me out of town to walk naked in nature.

 

[Iwillgo]

I swear, I was born with most of my fetishes. They all seem so natural.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

Who can say for certain?

I know I started having fantasies of hurting someone after being badly bullied for years. Those became sexual in adulthood. Those thoughts used to horrify me. I still don’t want to act on them but am no longer ashamed.

My guess is I found safety and revenge in such thoughts. They were never about real people but did make me feel powerful and safe. Today I find safety in strong healthy relationships. Power with, not power over as Easton wrote. Or maybe Wiseman? Don’t recall.

I will admit I still get a thrill watching the very campy mistresses of the game Dungeon Keeper 2 at work. Nothing explicitly sexual, everyone stays dressed, but they sure moan like torturing heroes gets them off sexually. Without heroes to “convert”, they whip each other for fun. That game wasnt formative for me (was 20 then) but sure was indicative!

I’m happy to indulge my subby fantasies now. When threatened, I react by wanting control and power. I only lose the drive to control everything when safe. I love feeling subby with a safe trusted partner. All pleasure, no work. I suspect at least some genetic influence there due to family observations (nothing explicit, just comments and personality).

How much of my kinkiness is due to trauma? I hope very little, if any. I’d prefer to think kink is just human variation, not mental scarring.

The first times I remember enjoying sexual kinks without guilt were when I felt pinned during sex (all consensual) and reading about or watching consensual kink. Nothing else got me as hot as fast. That’s when it really clicked.

Processing aggression and sexual desire is done in the same or very nearby regions of the brain, I read somewhere. Makes sense then that some people get turned on by power exchange and/or aggressive play.

The why no longer matters greatly to me. I focus on the trust and pleasure of play instead. The question of why is certainly interesting but no longer scary nor relevant to how I act.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

Ok.....this might just be a long thing. Go to the toilet, get yourself a comfy seat an' a drink and I'll start, boo.

In a nutshell, I was adopted by a lovely Jamaican family that were big church goers. My adopted parents tried for a few years to conceive but couldn't, hence me coming into the picture. All apparently good and then, like, 3 or so years later mum get's pregnant with a girl. Miracle baby an' all that shit, right?

So, she's the golden child an' I'm not, boo. Although they love me I feel that I don't fit in. When me and my little sister fight, as kids do, there's the occasional 'Well, you're adopted!" shit thrown at me. Starts to wear on me.

I'm not prim an' proper, not as a respected church goer's child should be anyways...not like my little angelic sister...an' feel more that I don't fit in.

There's this boy at church, likes me. He's ok, but keeps pestering me for sex. Then, I give in. We do it at church and then he's dropped me, y'know? I'm in a bit of a state as I feel that I've let myself down, let god down, let the church - who all the congregation can OBVIOUSLY see what I have done - and let my parent's down.

Get the feeling that maybe I am bad and I go online, find this support group called 'The Experience Project' as they have likeminded people who have the same struggles...only, there's more to that website than that. To quote from one of my stories...

"I'm going to meet Martika.....

Martika. Oh how my heart thrills to those very words. She's been on my mind since I first joined an Internet support group where people share their life stories and experiences. I believe it was put together for cancer survivors but, just like everything else put together on the Internet, it found it's way to being corrupted and used by the more 'fringe' elements of society; the perverts, the cuckolds, the transgendered, the bible bashers etc...."

"So I joined the site, looking for religious support and understanding but found so much more......Martika had posted up some things. She had a catholic background but she also was a prostitute.

A woman of the night. A slut. A whore. A 'Good Time Girl', as my dad would call them. But Martika didn't care who knew. She was proud of the decadent life she lived. Sex.....smoking.....drinking.....swearing. She was a bad girl...completely unlike anyone else I ever knew!!

She used to write, in graphic detail, how her working night was and proudly boast of how many men she had sex with.....

She was married too; and that her husband encouraged her life of vice.....As she said in her posts, she did '...Walk It Like You Talk It....' and that, I think, along with how glamorous she made prostitution sound, made me excited by her stories......

This was all that I had thought about for the last 18 months......"

I felt that I was bad, just like her, boo. She, I found, lived only the next city from me and so I met her. She treated me like shit and made me jump through some hoops. I met her again and we talked and, before I knew it, I asked her to 'train me'.

More and more hoops to go through. In just over a day I had started smoking, started drinking, taken cocaine and was involved in a gangbang. That initial having sex whilst high on coke whilst smoking a cigarette was one of the biggest highs of my life.

Within 3 weeks I was selling myself, like she was herself, and was just so taken with her that she became my owner.

That's the background, boo. I do what I do as I feel a part of something, special to someone, worth something. Y'know?

That was, like, 14 years boo.

A x

Sibling rivalry. Oh my gosh I sympathize. It’s not a trivial thing. (I loooove how you call us all ‘boo’.) I hope that every day someone lets you know you are worth something, priceless.

 

[BackwoodsMama]

One fetish that I’m unsure of the origin is my interest in family fun. I have never been approached sexually by a family member and I have never really felt attracted to a family member, but I get. Thrill thinking about brother/sister and uncle/niece combos. Stepdad/daughter also turns me on.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

Thanks boo.

My punter's enjoy me and I earn coin for my owner. That's the only worth I really need.

A x

I should have said helps you feel worthy. It need not be verbal at all! I am so glad you get what you want in the way that you want. And I’ve learned a new word, punter! I don’t know how many punters notice you love what you do. If I understand correctly, it may not matter to you that they notice. It sounds like you take pride in being great at what you do and their pleasure shows you that you’re great at it. Hope that came out ok.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

...an' another thing, boo...earlier this year my owner told me, over the past 14 years she's made £1.4 million from me.

Made me proud, boo.



A x

Wow! As it should. I’m glad she told you.

 

[Stoicbutfun]

One fetish that I’m unsure of the origin is my interest in family fun. I have never been approached sexually by a family member and I have never really felt attracted to a family member, but I get. Thrill thinking about brother/sister and uncle/niece combos. Stepdad/daughter also turns me on.

I must put my hand up to this too, as a guy, maybe much more typical, but never had any feelings for family members at all, and still don’t, but watch a video, the more realistic the better, and I’m ridiculously turned on. Come on in Doctor Freud

 

[Dearelliot]

my aunt

 

[Thomas_Hardy]

I discovered that submitting to women (and sometimes, men) aroused me by accident, while playing judo. Rolling on the mat with a technically superior female, you end up in holds that can have a sexual edge when you find that you will not get out of them, depending on which body parts are involved.

This prompted me to explore that side of me into the psychological dimensions of submission. Perhaps it also, on a deeper level, links to being spanked by my mother with a wooden spoon as a kid. I am not traumatised by it and at the time, things like that were common in many families around us. So I have gone through life well adjusted, and there is no blame. But I guess bdsm plays an important part in living with where I came from.

 

[subbyclarajane]

Mine came from a sexual assault. I have friends that have similar. Either we do it intentionally to have control over the fetish so it can’t be done TO us, or the adrenaline of a danger memory kicks in, we leave team and enter a state of “now”, which is what happens with most trauma response. While the “now” can be sexually liberating, this particular response can lead to declining mental health and has often left me crying after the sex. Do not recommend.

 

[SPARTAN047]

Mine came from a sexual assault. I have friends that have similar. Either we do it intentionally to have control over the fetish so it can’t be done TO us, or the adrenaline of a danger memory kicks in, we leave team and enter a state of “now”, which is what happens with most trauma response. While the “now” can be sexually liberating, this particular response can lead to declining mental health and has often left me crying after the sex. Do not recommend.

Very sorry to hear that — I've had people force themselves on me too so IKWYM, and it must've led to my submissive and rape fantasies along with my bullying history.

 

[Illgiveitatry1]

Most fetishes have their roots in certain experiences. Do you know where yours came from?

With women I'm very Dom. I expect total obedience and enjoy a woman who I can share, loan or pass around without question.

With guys I'm very sub. I don't have to be attracted to the man, or even like him. I just want to suck his cock and for him to hold me down and fuck me like a slut.

I know (I think) where this came from. When I was a teenager I found out my parents were swingers, firstly by hidden contact mags with some entries underlined or circled (took me a while to figure out what VVWE meant, there was no internet then) and eventually the holy grail, a stack of polaroids of mostly my mother, some with other men.

So with women, I guess, I'm mirroring my dad. With guys, I'm trying to experience what she experienced.

Sounds like your parents were really fun.

 

[jd_sw]

I know where my fetishes originate from. It was my father's VHS porn stash. The film was probably made in late 80's to early 90's. I still remember it quite vividly because this was my favorite.

The story was about a female blond clerk working in a stone quarry. First scene was a group miners ganging up on her in her office. She was handcuffed, stripped naked, fucked in all her holes. The miners then gave her facials then walked her cum covered naked body out to the mining site with a leash attached to her collar.
The next scene is they tied her vertically in spread-eagle position ropes on a face of a stone slab. Then they used modified power tools to make her cum over and over before letting her down.
Last scene was she get tied face down over a stone block getting split-roated by the miners. The all of the miners gave her creampies.