find someone like yourself..

[ChrisToker]

I posted this in the wrong place first...

I've been reading on here for a few months now, and the How To forum has been my favorite by far, that Mr. GGG g-spot article has served me well...anyways.

I can't say that in all of my life, I've ever had problems getting laid (Not that I've gone crazy, it's usually with GFs). My problem is that it's always the same, go down on each other(if she's willing), then screw. Sure, we'll change positions and whatnot, which seems to make her happy, but different positions bore me. It's just different ways of doing the same thing. I want a lot more from my sex life. I want to do all kinds of bondage and domination and group stuff and use crazy toys, (the list goes on and on), and so after a while in a relationship, when the sex with somebody gets tired, I get tired of the relationship. It's nothing against the girls, in fact I miss acouple of them, I just feel disappointed with the relationship, because of the boring sex. For some reason I always end up in a relationship with someone who has boring sex ideas. And when I meet someone who is out in the open with her freakiness, my mind goes blank and I can't even speak. I've never so much as had a woman who would masturbate for me, so I feel like even if I do meet somebody, I won't have the slightest clue what I'm doing, because honestly, I don't and wouldn't.

So, I guess this boils my question down to these things...

What is the best way to meet people who are into the same stuff you are sexually, without using the internet?

Are there any good questions you can ask in the course of a conversation, out at a bar or something, to find out if someone, say, maybe has a big bag of toys back at home that they would let you play with?

 

[Chicklet]

If you want these girls to try new things with you, you have to present confidence about what you're doing even if you've never done it before. Let your ideas be known...

it sounds from your post like you're finding inexperienced partners, and if they don't present new ideas you aren't presenting them yourself. You HAVE to let your needs and desires be known.

If you want to take the upper hand and get some experience, read some books on what you want to do. Get Midori's bondage book and learn some knots. Read SM101 for some background and information of BDSM. Keep reading the different threads here on all sorts of random things, and try to learn how to do some things by yourself, that you can then present to your future partners.

And when you meet those freaky girls, try to say something. There aren't any magical cures to improve your tongue-tiedness, only a smack upside the head via the internet from me.

good luck.

 

[Cathleen]

Welcome to Lit Chris, well, to posting.

Chicklet has given you good ideas. Check out the different boards here, maybe even read some stories in different catagories, there are many different ways to learn. You can overcome the confidence thing and the 'tongue-tiedness' with learning.

If you live near a city I figure there would be some type of 'personals' that aren't the garden variety kind. Also have you looked at Craig's List? Even google for your area will give you links to look at... the 'net never ends.

I agree, the HT is a great board here, but I might be slightly biased.

 

[Cardinalduke]

It seems like you have a way of identifying women who are into this stuff. And that you have a chance to ask them out. But you freeze.

People freeze in situations like this for different reasons. A lot of men freeze more when a woman moves up on the hotness scale. You freeze when you see the kind of kink and freakiness you are looking for.

Does it have to do with their personality? Or is it just that you have convinced yourself they are it and these girls have the one thing want? If you understand better why you freeze maybe you can keep it from happening again.